Ben's ULEZ Fines, Toll Booths and Richard Porter's Song - C.R.E.A.M. #74

0:00 Rule or Ruin: Ben's Door Handle Issue

You will have 40 days of locusts and rain.

That's what I'll

have.

And then I got home from my trip,

had a lovely

weekend, and I had a few letters.

Turns out it was from

Bristol City Council.

I'm

in big time, Rule.

I'm happy.

I'm excited.

Ben, this is

ideas every time this video on the clear is

not out yet.

It

will be out tomorrow, won't it?

It will.

Good to speak, because you're not speaking.

Next is a hot day.

Oh, the second channel one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah.

Thanks, Ben.

You will see tomorrow just why it's such a

rule, but my little Clio is back.

It made great power on the dyno,

like really good power on the dyno,

and survived a 300 mile home with quite a lot

of kicking its head in.

So, overall, I went to an auction up in

Liverpool, where I was getting the car from.

Shout out, John, I'd call around most sport.

We fixed the whole car.

Went to an auction, lost out on a car.

I'm not telling you what car it is yet,

because I'm bidding on a the other one in a

week or two.

I don't want to spoil it, because one of you

bastards will go and try and bid on it.

I don't want you to.

But it's a rule for me.

Also, we did double runos to lunch the other day.

It was actually great.

We were about to take the ML,

and Edwin said, "Should we take both the runos?"

And, you know, we drove normally,

completely normally.

There was no wheel spin, there was no smoke.

More importantly, no evidence.

No, it's actually, otherwise.

Meanwhile, Patrick, the social media guys Instagram.

But, you know, it was a taste of summer.

Yeah, it was a taste of what's to come.

But so for me, it's a rule.

I'm on the fence here, because I'm facing

existential threats to my life that's

appearing in the next sort of month or so.

I'm not going to talk about what car it is,

but it's large.

So basically, there's a car coming up for

auction next month that I need to sell my life for.

But I don't have the number plate.

It's coming up for auction, so there's not a

lot of info.

info until they see the car or have nearby,

blah, blah, blah, they get it from the vendor.

So I have no number plate, but I did have a

VIN number, which is great, because this

episode is sponsored by Car Vertical once again.

And because I had the VIN, I didn't need the

number plate.

I could put the VIN into Car Vertical and

then find out about that car.

So despite the fact that the ad currently

says nothing, it just says this is a car.

This is car for sale and it's the car you'd want.

But I thought, let me have a look at the Car Vertical.

And it brought up some things that were interesting.

Not only that, it also brought up some photos

from previous-- previous auction,

which was really good.

Because then I could try and find those photos online.

And then I found the previous auction again online.

So I found out more information.

So I'm ahead of the curve on this car.

I'm

3:10 Car Vertical Report and VIN Search

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But again, massive, massive thank you to Car

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Yeah.

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Big up, Car Vertical.

But yeah, I'm on the fence, but I think I'm

gonna go with a rule because just because it

is a positive thing, it's not a bad thing.

Do you know what?

I've known Will, Ben, you've known Will for a

good amount of time.

I've known Will for an extremely long amount of time.

Brackets, we're getting old.

We're getting old.

I've never seen you like this about a car.

Again, there are gonna be guesses.

People are gonna know.

We talk about it a lot.

But you talked about getting rid of

everything and going to like a thousand pound

daily run around.

Absolutely.

Just to facilitate this.

It's a bad idea.

There is nothing else.

Other than the fact that I want it and I've

needed it since I was a very small boy,

everything else says, "Why are you doing that?"

"Now, you can't do that now."

But it feels like that.

This is the last chance.

It's McLaren F1, by the way.

Creams doing really well, like super well,

like we've stopped paying Ben,

the lights are on.

That's why we could afford it.

Then Ben went down on this commission a little bit.

But I'll say rule, I'll say rule.

It's a bit annoying 'cause I've now put

everything on hold.

Everything I plan to do on any car.

So nothing more must happen.

Everything must remain.

Everything that's working must stay working.

So it's exciting times.

It could be very exciting times or really you

there could be some ruins almost here.

Oh, it will be a year of ruins.

You know, some sort of religious thing.

Yeah, yeah.

Is that like a Bible where they go?

You will have 40 days of locusts and rain.

That's what I'll have for.

It's like a Chinese New Year that you negative.

Benjamin?

Ruin.

Oh, okay.

Right.

And it isn't.

Start the day.

You hear me right.

Okay, babe, do you know what?

A new saga of Ben begins.

No, can I just preface this?

Yes, it was a big rule.

Yeah.

I bought, on eBay, a door handle.

Okay.

For a car or all.

Congrats, congrats.

To the for absolutely no reason.

A door door handle, to fix my previously

mentioned issue where my car would be put

me because it didn't know.

What was I trying to say?

Keyless

entry, wasn't where my car.

And it was getting upset every time I drove it.

And that went smoothly, faking that new door handle.

Once I had the right tool.

Well, I wouldn't, yeah, because Ben got very

huffy

'Cause it's meant to be easy.

Ben asked for a tool that simply doesn't exist.

Ben literally said, he said,

"Where do we have "one of these 90 degree

pick tools, "but it's nowhere near this long?"

I said, "Ben, that tool doesn't exist."

He went, "Look, this guy has it on a video

"and he showed me a specific Mercedes tool

"that is not in stock on any site anywhere."

Well, anyway, I found the handle for 55

pounds on eBay thinking it was black,

but it didn't know

6:23 ULEZ Fines for Ben's Golf

if it was the same black as my car,

so I thought, I'll get it repainted.

What's the name of that black?

I don't know.

See, that's how.

You've got to fuck it all the time.

It's a metallic-y pearlescent black that's on GTD.

Is it LC-9Z?

Perhaps a fellow nerd creamer could let us know.

I don't know.

I didn't even check, because I didn't get that far.

I was like, it came and--

And the door handle.

And it was the exact same color as the car.

So first win there.

Was it shortly surprised by that?

Did you not know what color it would be before?

I thought it would be black,

but it went quite much.

It was a flat black horror.

A golf door handle mystery box.

Here she comes, right off the couch.

The reason I asked you which black it was,

is 'cause I would assume you would have found

out in the process of ordering this.

No, because I was going to get it.

They were either all like, all the ones that

sell like a fine bullet, blue or white,

didn't match to when there was one black one.

And I just thought it might match where it gets here.

And if it doesn't match, I'll get repainted.

Right.

'Cause I have to say anyway.

And if I bought one brand new from VW,

I would have had to get a paint anyway.

Sure.

So cool.

Got here, changed it, which just took a

while, but it was fine.

Pugged it in, it works.

Lovely.

I have Keeler Century again.

So I have Keeler Century.

Yeah, all the more for the Keeler Century.

So that was great.

And then this weekend, I drove the car,

about 11 or 12 hours round trip up to North Yorkshire.

Shout out to Yorkshire Creamers.

Hell yeah.

All the creamers.

The creamers.

The creamers.

Yeah, creamers.

That was nice.

And it just flawlessly up there.

And then I got home.

So, and I received letter.

So there's now no more possibilities for the

car to cause ruin.

That's all fixed.

It's, well, no, it's got all levels.

All level senses still.

Well, being in it needs to be fixed.

Obviously.

But your drive boot?

Boot is bone dry.

Lovely.

I'll see that.

For a rule.

For a rule.

And then I got home from my trip,

had a lovely weekend and I had a few letters.

Okay.

I thought, oh, it's nice to get in contact.

I thought maybe it's my bank messaging me

saying hello, I am your bank.

Hello, we are your bank.

That's the one.

Classic me.

(laughs)

We wouldn't expect that one.

Turns out it was from Bristol City Council.

What do they want to say?

They said collab.

Well, it's our second collab.

We're back.

So, it's a part two.

I have received upwards of, well,

I haven't received the ball yet.

I have four, but there's going to be more.

You let us fines.

That's weird.

Usually the sequel's not as good.

No, this one's looking to be a real block

buster for us.

You know what?

They might end up being a trilogy.

This is a good one.

I've been, and with the F2000 when this happened.

So, five, 10 second, they have later.

You have a new folk, don't wait.

I have an S2000.

That S2000 is not you let's compliant.

I did not know that.

I drove it into the Bristol you let us zone

multiple times.

I got lots of fines.

And the you let zone in the UK is a zone

where your car has to meet a certain and I

was about to say calorific content.

Well, my brain's not doing well tonight.

Carbon, not monoxide or dioxide,

yes.

A level to be able to go in without paying.

If it's not up that threshold,

you have to pay every time you go in.

It's nine pounds a day.

Lovely.

And if you don't pay within seven days,

you would do what you owe.

Basically,

they charge you 120 pounds.

That's crazy.

Plus the nine pound fee, so 129 pounds.

But if you pay it within two weeks,

it's down, it's half price, 69 pounds.

Oh, that's a deal.

60 pounds, sorry.

Half, the fine is half price,

and you've got to pay it less on top.

So fine, I have received on this 2000,

I think total seven in the end,

I will see from that.

So, you got in contact.

And you know what, that was kind of fair.

But I found a little bit of a loophole here

where, because the car wasn't approved at a

certain level, it didn't meet the regulation,

but actually, when you get into the final

scientific little emissions,

it did.

So they said, cool, not a problem.

The Golf is from factory, a Euro six vehicle.

Therefore, all that means is that it can go

in the zone.

Always.

There's no reason to try it in.

There's no question about it.

No, everyone knows.

Everyone knows.

That car's fine.

Everyone could even argue that.

No, I couldn't argue it either.

I'm struggling.

So I received PCN's and I thought that's a

bit odd, but that's fine because it's a U-less car.

This is my computer.

This would be easy.

I went, I tick the box on the appeal thing

that said, this does not apply to the vehicle.

I put a little message saying what,

and left it there.

Anyway, every single day I've got home from

work or I've got home from wherever,

and I've had another letter.

So just every damnating letter.

And when you start getting cocky about it,

because you said to us this morning,

yeah I'm just driving three-year-olds,

so it's back and forth now, 'cause I know I don't care.

With the S2000, I received like seven fines,

that was across, maybe a month,

I went in seven times.

Since I had the golf, I have been mashing my

way through that town.

I've been looking at houses,

I've been driving their loads,

I'll be crazy.

But I've been quick flex, Ben.

No, I've been, there've been reasons why I've

been needing to go into the...

Yeah, real estate, Ben.

No, I might buy that tower block.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I know, I won't even pay my U-less one.

Do you know what?

I bet you, I bet you parked to the double,

you know, and said it's a rich people parking.

Yeah, yeah.

40 quid, is that it?

You know, I might buy the U-less one.

No, I've just been going in for a lot of

reasons into the U-less one,

more than I normally would.

Anyway, I've got many finds.

There's going to be, I'm getting minimum 20.

So the issue here is that your car was fine,

'cause you drove it in the beginning.

So when I first got it, my original plate,

I drove it in and I came back out and it's fine.

I haven't received the fine at all on the original plate.

People doing the hokey hokey.

That's the one, they turn around as well,

I don't know.

And it was fine.

And then when I changed it, I changed the plate.

I've been told by the people at the EULES,

'cause I've been in contact with them quite a long time.

You've spoken to the EULES.

You are busy mates with those.

Oh yeah, it's also, I believe it's the same

man each time.

(laughs) Apparently it's an issue in their

system, but when you changed your product

plate and you changed your plate,

the system goes, "Who's this?"

I've never seen that car run.

I've never seen you before before,

you're paying money.

Stop, you're violating the law.

So I explained that, and on top of that,

just to make it even more concrete,

I did what I did with the S2000 and I put it

in a firm, my registration, as of like my V5,

with the emissions number that just let you

know as well.

Did you put a photo of you smiling?

This is who you're upsetting,

by the way.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's important to know who you're doing with.

And do you know what?

Today we were working on the yellow,

and George, would you like to explain what happened?

Well, again, Benwood, oh, here we go,

again, quite cocky, you went,

"Oh, they've got back to me,

here we go, I'm gonna go."

And Ben was, I could see Ben was saying up

for the, "Yeah, yeah, no, there you go,

we admit your face."

Shall I read what they said?

And Ben, well, I don't have the verbatim,

but Benwood,

What?

No.

That was a lot of swearing.

I saw in big letters on my phone,

notice of rejection of representation,

to which I went, and there were four of them

in a row, so that was good.

And the thing that made it even worse is that

when I tried to appeal the S2000,

it took like a month for them to get back to

me, it's been four days.

See, now this is what you said earlier,

that you got this little loophole in the

S2000, I was like, that's why they're doing it.

They know it's you and they're going,

"We're gonna get him now."

Pretty fine.

Something, I wrote down what you were saying

on this one too.

Oh, fuck, oh, that's gonna be good.

Yeah, now lots of it, I really can't say.

There was a lot of abuse.

It's just, it's the people involved to the

town of Bristol, to the council.

I'm sorry, there's not a specific,

I think Corley wanted to shout out on the phone.

You said you threatened to kill them all at some point.

Yeah, there was a threat of murder.

I'll leave those ones out.

Deck, you're gonna have to bleep some of

these 'cause they're better with the swearing.

You know what?

That was really annoying.

This feels like they're in order.

This feels like the stages of denial.

What is it, the stages of grief?

First one being denial.

Oh, that's a tough one.

Oh, no, that's a tough one.

No, that's not

happening.

So denial.

Then we move into (beep) So that one,

that one, please bleep that.

That's anger, we're right.

Yeah, I was a bit annoyed though.

Then we're moving into my face.

I'll leave it on my far.

I'm about to write (beep) letter.

And I did, and I did.

And then this was you, this is

bargaining, I think this is,

which is where you were

14:12 Appealing ULEZ Fines

talking about, you made such an eloquent

argument, you weren't sure, you said,

how can you not accept that?

That was a good argument.

It was a good argument.

And then we're around to get out with,

I'll go to court, and then a baby of five

seconds silence, and then I won't argue

myself, but I'll go.

I'll show up and watch.

No, so they got back and said,

they basically said to me that it was,

what I provided them was not enough evidence,

which is interesting.

And what you provided them was all of the

information you would need to know that your

car is in fact useless.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's a weird one,

it's nice.

And they said to me, so very briefly,

there's two ways you can go like this.

You can pay the fine.

Or you go to jail.

It's a bit long-wind and complicated,

but basically, on the S2000,

what I did was I contacted the local

clean-air zone people and I said,

"Here's a photo of my mission's data,

it's below the threshold."

And they went, "Not a problem."

With the what?

With what document?

My V5.

Oh no, no, you had your cock out.

Oh my God, I received my cock,

but I never actually had to use it.

Oh, sorry.

My cock is actually on my desk at home.

Don't leave it that way.

My certificate of conformity.

That's why you said that earlier,

I thought you were just being an idiot.

Oh no, in the match.

All right, so they said you think you can

really ride fair.

Send us a cock, we might let you through.

I'll get to that, I'll get to that.

I have to get another cock.

Are you going to have another one?

Yep, so basically--

We never have enough.

That's the first thing they do,

and they will then take your plate,

and they'll go, this plate is Ules compliant.

When it drives the zone, the camera looks at

it and it goes, cool, you can go in.

Now that is good, because it happens much quicker.

However, if I was to ever take the plate off,

it would then become not Ules.

The car itself is not Ules, it's just,

it is while it's on that plate.

It's like insurance, it follows you,

not the car.

Sure, yeah.

The thing they recommend you do,

which is much more long-winded,

is you contact the DVLA, the car gods of

emergency, and they basically will take your

car itself by the number by forever,

and they'll go, this guy here is Euro six.

He's clean.

He's clean, let him throw.

He's with me.

He's with me, let him in.

I'll pat him down.

You missed the best part of this.

What's that?

In their response to you, they said,

"You can get the DVLA to tell us this."

As long as they tell us that the car's fine,

now the DVLA takes four to six weeks minimum

to get that, but they've said to you,

you've got how long to do it.

Oh, it's 14 days.

Otherwise, I'm liable to all of the chargers.

So, you have an ultimatum.

So basically, what I did last time was I

contacted the cars people, I said,

"Guys, here's the situation.

Within 12 hours, they got back to me and went

car, EU less."

The war room went into red light.

They went, "We've got a live one,

hit people."

The car is EU less.

I then submitted that email to,

as an appeal, and then the council went,

"Cool, all good, mate, we'll cancel them."

So, easy.

This time did that again, except for,

they haven't responded and they will respond.

So, because of that, I'm now going to option two.

There are two blue tips, not this guy again.

So, I call with the EU later,

and I say, "Hey, man, you've got my car on file.

It's a Euro six vehicle.

Can you just update it?"

And he said, "Yeah, not a problem.

All you must do is contact VW,

HQ."

Okay.

Please receive a car.

You keep being sent further up the line.

This feels like a sidequest in a game,

where they're like, "If you can go get these

tomatoes for me, I'll give you this burn arrow."

You're in one of those calamitous movies

where it feels like that's the solution,

and they go, "All you got to do is go to VW,

and then you go to VW, and then VW's been nuked."

Yeah.

Or something, and it's like,

"Now you've got to go on a quest."

Ben's in the movie Rat Race,

back in the day.

So, what we'll say is that everyone I spoke

to was actually helpful and nice,

but not...

Not very useful.

Yeah, not very useful.

Well, he says to me, he went,

"All you've got to do, bearing mine,

have 14 days to..."

Yeah.

"They want some sort of response to take it further."

24 hours to respond.

And the best part of that is that if you

don't respond, you can take it one level up,

which is to a independent Supreme Court,

basically of cars.

Yeah, it's a tribunal for traffic and stuff,

and they'll look at it independent,

and they'll do their own investigation.

But if you lose that, you're liable to the

full amount on every charge of the 100%.

Which realistically, at this point,

it's going to be two to 3,000 pounds.

I reckon, well, if it's 20 of them,

130 pounds, you do the maths,

I can't.

Okay.

So, that's a tough one.

Yeah, and also, it's a Euro six car,

so that's great.

So what you do is, they say,

go to VW, get a cock.

Of course.

Cisco conformity, it's the official document

that says this is all of the stuff we did

when we homologized the car when it was new,

and then it proves it.

Then, when that comes in the post,

in the post, take that and your V5,

your documentation of ownership,

put that together, and then write a letter,

also print that out, but all three of those

documents together,

Post it to Swansea.

Can you do it on one of the scrolls,

please?

Do you want written in the same way?

They probably did seal.

And they probably won it by carrier pigeon,

but they said, cool, all you gotta do is just

physically post that to us in the big 2026,

and then we'll take four to six weeks,

and then after that, we'll learn.

Well, they have to deliberate,

they're gonna sit there, go.

Yeah, yeah.

It must go to the council.

Is it, or is it not?

I think it, nah.

Yeah, so--

I imagine it's like, you know,

in sort of some medieval TV show or movie,

and the king or the sort of mayor of the town

sits on his chair, and then the villagers

just arrive and go, "I would like more

sheep," and he goes, "Ah, I don't think you

need more sheep, piss off."

And it's like that, there's just a queue of

people, and they go, "Is he,

is he U-less?"

Except--

I don't think he's U-less, send him away.

Except the equivalent is, Ben's walked into

the castle, and they've gone,

"All right, nine quid."

No, no, no, no, no.

He said, "I don't know, I'm a prince."

No, I'm allowed--

I live this is my house, and they go,

"Nah, two grand now."

I will say, jokes side, it is bullshit.

It's really ridiculous.

Why are some D.V.A.

things?

They go, "I know this isn't just related to D.V.A.

other bits, but even this is basically

government and council stuff."

Some things are like, "Oh, just do that online."

Right.

And we'll do it instantly.

Oh, sorry.

The other things go, "Oh, you need like a new V5."

Oh, no, months.

No, no, but you do it online,

but 7 a.m.

to 7 p.m.

Yeah.

Because the computer needs his time off.

Yep.

You can't work in the night.

It is, you know, computers are right.

The thing that actually really got me was

that

20:28 System Issues with ULEZ Compliance

they said to me, lines.

Those were the ones that said they really got me.

No, what really got me was the fact that,

okay, so the issue we have here is it's your system.

You put on your plate on the car and it's a

computer system.

So they told me, they went, "Well,

we've looked at it."

And on my system, it's telling us your car is

not you less.

And I'm going to them, "Well,

yes, because your system is not working."

You can't go, "System's not working."

So I've checked the system and the system's not working.

Do you know what it is, Ben?

It says no.

Literally, what they said to me,

and I said to him on the phone,

I said, "So you want me to get a typical

quantity from Germany."

He must post it from Germany,

from the factory.

In German, by the way, I haven't even mentioned that.

It will come in German, I've been told.

And you, which will just tell you the same

thing my V5 literally says.

And the V5 isn't fake, I'm not written on it.

It came from a factory like that.

Ben, it's not proof of ownership,

neither is it proof of the fact that it's US.

No, it's fantastic.

And what makes it even worse is the fact that

the S2000, well, it meant it was a bit cheeky.

Because the S2000 was a Euro three car,

and I made a mistake with that.

Well, I thought it was you as I was wrong,

but it turns out by a loophole in the

emissions, it was actually a bit more.

Yeah, no.

But how cocky you were.

The difference being here is that that all

I've done is by my car and drive my car into a city.

You, Icarus.

Yeah.

Blue, you know what, oil level too close to the sun.

Your wings, your wings just melting away,

and then you plummeted to the earth.

So, overall, about 2,000 pound of fines.

It's a ruin.

It's a big ruin, and it could be a tough one.

Well, I think in the coming weeks,

we'll be hearing more about Ben's trials and

tribulations as he battles his way through

the actual court system of the UK.

Would you like a positive note for the next,

next, next, next, speaking?

Yeah, sure.

Ling Long.

Ling Long are so up.

How many messages do we think?

I'd say hundreds.

I got at least 100.

Now, do you know what the funny thing is?

So, Ling Long, if you don't know,

Ling Long, one of our bullshit tie brands,

one of the OG, actually VOG in the game,

when it comes to bullshit tie brands,

have had a tie that has outperformed everyone else.

But all of those, all of this news comes from

a friend of us, Mr.

John Benson, for a tie of views.

So, we actually saw this info,

like when it came out, he posted the reel of

me saw it.

And then over the next two weeks,

people just kept going, "Have you seen this?"

"Have you seen that Ling Long on all the

kings of everything?"

So, I didn't read into the, I did sort of the

guts of it.

But I saw that the Ling Long,

something, something, something,

whatever the tie is, I don't know,

has outperformed Michelin's many other premium ties.

Was it just like grit or something?

I believe it was dry and wet grit.

But then it has faulted elsewhere.

Yes, in really spectacular fashion everywhere else.

So, from what I remember, was it was the

first in dry grip and like second or third in wet grip.

Then it was by far the worst in life.

So, it lasted like 16,000 miles.

Like Ben?

Yeah.

16,000 miles when the like good year or

something lasted 35.

Yeah.

Meaning, and they're not half,

they're less than, sorry, they're more than

half as expensive.

So, you could still buy, if you bought two

sets of Ling Longs, you'd be worse off than

one set of good years.

Okay.

So, not great there.

They were the loudest in normal.

Always.

And then I think they were the last in

stopping distance or something.

No, sorry.

They were some other thing where they were

the worst at.

But they've improved one element of it.

Like a headline element.

You're not one that everyone's going to notice.

And they go, oh yeah, by the way,

they don't last for long and they're noisy.

It's in a game.

They've put all of their points into charisma.

So, they can take and talk their way into anything.

But it comes to combat, they're out.

Yeah, they go out.

I'm going to kill by like a level one.

Yeah.

There's stealth, whack.

You're a tire, like a tire, like a specific tire.

What would you be like realistically?

What brand?

I would probably be a Nankang,

but I would be a...

That's so narcissistic to think Nankang.

No, no, no, no.

Are you saying like...

A Nankang, but like a...

I know it bears.

An S20, was it...

The N20 is the robot.

Yeah, yeah.

And you already know what you are.

You're a Fleaver.

Yeah.

I'm a...

Jock fine.

I love Fleaver.

You are a Yokohama Fleaver.

I like a Yokohama, Advent Fleaver.

I am a Mucho macho or I'm a triangle.

I am a...

I'm a Mcop2.

No, no, no.

He'll try and think he's a bit more humble by saying...

I'm a PS4.

No, I'm not a PS4.

I'm a PS4.

All who aren't, let's listen to this.

Why do you know so many tires?

I was gonna say Union Royal.

Oh, it's sort of like, if you know,

a range of...

You know, that's actually kind of good.

But you aren't sort of biased to,

like, wet weather.

For like first impression, you've been like,

what

25:16 Big Boys for Sale in the UK

does that mean?

What does that mean?

I don't know what that

means.

Great in the shower.

Yeah, fantastic in a bath.

Perfect, yeah.

Let us know what sort of tires you think you are,

guys.

Well, Alan Partridge radio right now.

I like that bins of flavour.

It just makes sense.

I like a...

A flavour's a better tire than what you are.

Are you any royal?

Yes, fair.

What else we got?

Oh, this is one from you, Ben.

Big boys are now for sale in the UK.

I heard about this.

If anybody would like a big boy in the UK.

What does that mean, then?

So, well, here's one.

Big boys, i.e.

Big American cars.

Yes.

You've got, you're talking your escalates.

Escalates.

Yeah, well, that won't come from.

It's a mixture of the web escalator and escalates.

If you want your Cadillac Escalade,

the big boy or other ones, I can't remember

what other ones there are.

What, like a Tahoe?

Like Evie Hummers?

No.

So then what do you mean?

Because what, why you can already do that?

You can already do that.

No, because they're coming with actual

manufactured guarantees and stuff in this country.

But let me just...

But they're not provided by...

So, I don't know the answer.

I agree, import.

I think, no, they're sold by dealers.

As a left-hand drive car?

Yes, we have here.

Is that not a grey import?

We have.

Yeah.

So we have a Cadillac Escalade.

Escalade ESV, don't know.

Escalade V, the big boy.

That guy.

GMC Yukon, Sierra 1500, Chevrolet Tahoe,

Suburban Silverado.

And obviously, they're going to be expensive.

But yeah, basically, they're going to come with a...

For the manufacturer with UK homologation

warranty, financing, after sales,

all that.

But they're still left-hand drive cars.

Yeah, they're not like a UK spec vehicle.

So I think you're right.

I think that is then a grey import.

I think that's grey import.

Yeah.

But it's from the manufacturer.

Yeah, but that's like a lot of mid-subishi

stuff with grey imports where they were

Japanese car, but there's a company in this

country that will go, "I am Mitsubishi,

but I'm going to convert them for you,

not convert them, but you know,

make them UK.

Because when you're doing a private import

yourself, you don't technically need to abide

by all of the same things a manufacturer

would, in terms of, like, preparing it for

sale, if that makes sense, or selling it to a customer.

Whereas if you're just importing it yourself,

you just need to get it through an MOT,

get it, get your, what do you call it,

your, like, import fees and all that sort of

stuff done, off you go.

Whereas a dealer will now go through,

they'll do all, checking all the lights are

done, all that sort of stuff.

I suppose so many Japanese imports in this

country, like, even, well, whether it's been

done personally, or through a company,

have that chunky rear fog, like,

just rectangle drilled into the rear bun.

But that's interesting.

I can't think of many people who will be doing that.

Yeah.

If it was right hand drive, and they were

priced, like, somewhat barely.

You think, you know what?

These are of a different variety,

that's sort of mildly luxury,

I don't really know.

Might be of interest, but.

They're just so very large.

Like, Escalade V is actually too big for the UK.

I don't see what, like, the issue is,

okay, in America, it makes sense.

You have a big engine in the cheaper,

like, Tahoe, Sierra, all that sort of stuff.

That's cheaper than going out and buying a Range Rover.

But we're in the UK.

We have the ability, you have the ability to

go and buy a Range Rover for cheaper than

that Escalade, probably not even a vehicle.

B is gonna cost you, so why?

Yeah, that's what I mean.

What do you get out of doing that?

Yeah, warranty though.

Yeah, but you need more Range Rover.

So when it gets stolen, you can have another one.

Yeah, but it's just a lot.

So you've got like a warranty,

so does that cover the immense fuel build?

No.

No.

Does it cover the fact that I'm on the wrong

side of the car?

New.

Would you like to guess how much Escalade V is?

Oh, I'm the same.

It's in the UK, he landed.

Very much not 100.

One hundred pounds.

160,000 pounds.

I was gonna say 170.

199,000 pounds.

100,000 pounds.

That's 66 grand for a base Silverado.

Also, for a car that is going to be worth 11

pounds in like six years.

Like they'd appreciate like nothing.

No, we buy one for the channel and we make it

a thousand horsepower.

You crude car.

Fine, fine by me.

You know what, I did see the other day when I

was driving back from Liverpool,

a, I know it is a GMT 800, which is the platform name.

You will know it as a 90s looking,

using the car, the FBI car from a 90s

American film, Black GMC Yukon Tahoe thing,

just towing something.

And I did think I was like, that's kind of cool.

Someone about that makes me a GMT 800.

That's something cool about that.

I saw what it was.

I didn't see it in person, but I saw an

auction, a car that sold at auction here in

the UK, a GMT cyclone.

Man.

I noticed it's cool 'cause they were like not

16, 4.3 seconds in the 90s or whatever it is

whenever they came out.

But it's a pickup truck, it's four-wheel

drive and it has a six in it.

For the four-liter or 4.3?

So you've got the cyclone which is the pickup

truck and then the typhoon which is the SUV

thing, which is I think is based on a C10

or an S10 pickup.

But this was, I mean, again,

I always thought the cyclone,

I'm thinking of it from games.

That's all I've ever seen in that sort of car

is in games.

I thought maybe that's worth a bit of money

'cause it's quite an interesting car.

It's sold for 21 grand, which is UK.

Which is funny because I think in America,

those cars are worth more.

There are, like a low mileage one is worth,

it's a collectors thing now.

But I once saw a typhoon, so the wagon,

you call it an SUV, on

the roads.

And I remember thinking that whoever that

dude is, that's cool.

Yeah.

Having that in the UK, a couple of mods on

that, I'd like that.

'Cause I looked at, 21's a lot,

it's like double what obviously our ML has cost.

But damn the line, having a little tow car,

that's what's it called, a cyclone,

bloody cool.

Yeah, very cool.

Anything cool, anything cool that's American

like that, instantly becomes quite tragic to

look at in the UK.

There is, yeah.

It really doesn't know what it is.

There are certain ones that I think,

even like, on the '60s Mustang,

I think is cool.

They're the most you can get away with.

But even the one we had, the one we had.

But the 350 wrap type thing.

Which was fantastic, I really liked it.

It just doesn't work here.

I don't, I don't, I can't, I have a massive

soft spot for the '90s Chevrolet and Pilot

SS, mainly from Midnight Club.

Two packs back.

Two packs back this.

Now, in America, that's cool,

or like a Grand Marquis, or sorry,

a Mercury Marauder, which is a Crown Vic,

but just like now.

That's cool in America.

If you're wrong around in that,

that's cool.

Here, you're wrong.

Yeah.

There's big areas of wrong about you.

Don't judge people, you can't do that.

I can.

You can.

You can smell the interior of that car.

That's Peter.

You can smell it, yeah, that's fair.

You can, from a mile away.

Hot smelling.

Hot smelling engine.

There is a--

A leather.

Yeah, leather, but it's not,

but something's off that edge.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like, there's some air of a public

toilet about it for some reason.

Musty.

Musty.

The other guys, Autoalex, they haven't

revealed it yet, so I can't say what it is,

but have bought something, and it's American.

Jealous, we are.

Oh, you do you know about this?

Yeah.

We got in it, Jealous, very upset about it,

but we got in, we were like,

"Where's that smell?"

I recognize that smell somewhere,

and we realized it was from our Cadillac.

Yeah.

In 30, 40 years, the smell of an American

interior still has not changed.

That's impressive.

Oh, I love the real leather.

Got it, smell the night.

You smell that?

That smell nice.

God, it smells horrible, but yeah.

They look on the outside, but the interior

go, yeah, just keep it.

Next up, we have a PSA, is this a PSA?

We're calling it a PSA.

I'm going to want to try this here.

No way, guys.

And we went there last year as well.

Do you remember seeing every '92 M3 and F80

M4 and M3 on country?

No, because

they don't import them, they do.

Well, they have them

there.

No, they did.

So we are going this year, and we

will be there.

We will all be there, and we would like to

ask, who's going, if you're a brand,

if you're a person, what are you?

Who are you?

What are you?

What are you made of?

Who else is going?

And if you're going with something cool to

drive, we want to drive, we want to do a

video, but he's asking people to drive their cars.

And so we want to drive as many cool things

as possible in Monterey.

It wouldn't be long, it would be a

five-minute drive in your car,

we'll throw a GoPro in there,

we'll say, this is Chad, and Chad's letting

us drive his car.

Buck Rogers here.

Yo man, Kyle's here.

Which would make those sense,

'cause that would mean they would be introducing us.

But anyway, shout out, let us know,

and we can link up.

And if anyone has access to the quail,

we must be in here.

Yes, I know.

I don't know what powers we have in the U.S.

I know we have U.S.

viewers, but it's obviously the U.S.

is a big place.

So we could say, yeah, cool,

here, all the U.S.

viewers

34:09 Monterey Car Week Plans

meet us here, and they go, no,

that's like 10 hours away from me.

If we could do a little cream,

a little cream up.

A little cream up.

A American cream up.

An American cream tea would be amazing.

And for the English creamers,

don't worry, 'cause we got, consider that

pipeline, jam pack.

Oh, it's filled.

There's a blockage, but when that is

released,

No, no, no, no, no, no,

no.

And then when you get to the second part of

the year, they change the first digit to like

a seven currently.

Each decade it changes, but ignore that a bit.

And then the last three are random.

So it's quite formulaic, but basically,

it's a very simple, very simple,

very simple, very simple.

And then you get to the second part of the

year, they change the first digit to like a

seven currently.

Yeah.

And then you get to the second part of the

year, they change the first digit to like a

seven currently.

Each decade it changes, but ignore that a bit.

And then the last

three are random.

So it's quite formulaic, but basically,

on the first of March and first September,

you get the new number.

Yep.

Either this year's either 26 or 76.

Which historically in the UK was always an

important time for people in like upper

middle class to show off, to go out and get

the brand new plate and have it first.

So you go, "Bunny, look, he's doing well.

He's got a 26 plate."

I saw a 26 plate M3, can't shoot you.

Well, I'm getting to this.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

A lot of percentage shut up.

Yeah, shut up.

My story, shut up.

I'm ruining it.

Some people would even order the car and then

they let it sit the dealer for two weeks

until it gets to that point where they can

register it as that.

Anyway, so 26 plate.

And I always get excited to see,

especially in March, 'cause you get the 26.

Not 76, 26.

What was everyone's first one?

The cream is to comment this 'cause I'm interested.

I have absolutely no idea I haven't noticed.

Mine was the answer.

I'm sorry, entry.

I was behind it very nice.

It looked Tanzanite, but it's probably a

newer color than that.

It looked like a Tanzanite Blue,

very nice M3, warp speeding down the fast lane.

I didn't even notice.

I just thought, oh, that's a G80.

I thought it could be 10 years old.

It could be three years old.

I got no idea.

I saw 26 and I was like, this was last

weekend, I wanna say.

So this was like, I'm talking like this car,

this guy's just picked this up.

That's the other thing for Americans listing.

You guys have a thing where your model is

like a year and a half in advance.

Like you got a 28 plate Cadillac right now.

We don't have that.

26 starts March 1st.

But do you just make a massive deal of it as well?

26 plates have come in.

Yeah, they are coming.

I find it a bit old.

I find it weird.

I find it a little bit shallow and a bit strange.

Well, I got my golf and it was

on a 63 plate.

'Cause I'm into now, I've not had a car new

in 2010.

I felt like I was considered not putting my

plate on it.

'Cause I thought it was a little bit of a

ball of glue and I read that that was 13 years ago.

It's not that impressive.

You've seen a 63 plate here.

Are you okay?

You need help.

But 26 plate, my mom was a model three,

sadly.

And it was quite sad 'cause I looked at it.

I went 26 and looked at it and it was just a model three.

Mine will most likely have been some form of JLR product.

Wait, no, they can't be, can't they?

It can be Land Rover.

Yeah, I sure are a defender today.

I feel like it'll probably be a Jaguar.

But I've seen many and I want to know whatever else.

I really, really notice anything you are not

paying attention.

That's tough.

So anyway.

I did, however, see a Lotus Carlton yesterday in Woking.

A 26 plate, no.

It made me happier than I think any other car

spot in a long time has.

We've never seen anything.

No, it's fair.

We've never seen anything.

We've never seen anything.

But in that spot, we rarely see cool stuff.

It's just a small one.

Once in a blue moon.

It was just that.

And there it was.

That bear.

Street Park, Lotus Carlton, Euro Looking Place.

Hero of a human.

Now, I don't think I haven't added this,

but feel free to speak on this.

Sure.

There is also a Carlton that's coming up for an auction.

It is, it's very cool.

There is a X Sultan of Brunei.

Well, that's not confirmed.

It is an X Brunei Lotus Carlton that is

painted in silver.

a project.

I found videos of the car from when it was in

Brunei, I believe it's not on the,

it's not on the official list of the Venne

numbers of the Brunei royal family.

Which means I think it was a car that was

bought for people.

It was a big thing back in the day they were

by cars, at many, many cars,

obviously as they did.

And then they would give them to either like

local ministers or they'd be as like presents to people.

They would usually do it with BMWs because

BMWs were seen as below the royal family.

Mercedes was their guy.

BMW was like, give it to the peasants.

I got no idea.

So loads of the eight series are all cars

that were given to people.

So there are lots of abandoned ones because

they were obviously given to people who

perhaps, you know, they could afford to run

them in the day, but then they would be sold

on to people who were like, where am I

getting starter motors for a V12?

And then they go and sit in a shed for very long.

I believe that's what's happened with that Carlton.

All the green.

No, the thing that's interesting to me,

I want to look into it.

People know there was a Carlton that was once

repainted for a TV show, and it was painted

in the nearly exact same silvery gold color.

So I'm kind of interested to find out.

The other been kits before.

And I always see it because there was that

one that I left had.

It was like it was a Carlton.

GSA had the V6 and it had been tuned up,

but it had a sort of replica kit.

But when I see it in a different color,

I'm like, this ain't it.

No, it's not correct.

So I think that car is correct.

The other one thing, the one thing I'm,

this is super nerdy.

Here you go.

It's going up for auction at iconic auctioneers.

But do you want to do you want to see a real,

a real nerd move, a real undiagnosed move?

If I click through the photos who hear,

that is the roof line of the BMW 8 series

with its roof, with its sunroof up in the background.

And I think there's one other photo there.

Look, now, now, not only is that an 8 series,

I know that exact chassis I have a photo of

that car from when it was sat on a driveway in Brunei.

But it's not a pop-ups.

Yes, it does.

They're like headlights.

What are you talking about?

Just a buffet with headlights.

No, that's faded paint.

But I know that car, I've seen that car sitting up.

So I'm wondering if the person who's person's

just gone out there, found a load of

projects, has brought them back and is now

sticking them up.

Because also the photo, it's not like it's in

a warehouse or something like that.

It's just on a housing estate.

somewhere and someone's just like designated

parking spot.

Someone came home one day and went,

"Why is there a lot of mossy cars outside?"

I can't move.

But yes, I'd love to know what the story is

with that car, why it came back.

There are lots of cars that are in Brunei

that are not owned by the Royal Family but

are sitting abandoned, if that makes sense.

They have nothing to do with the collection.

They were sold and then just sit.

But you know what, I would, man,

a Colton is one of my absolute dream cars,

even just drive, just love to drive a car.

How much are you going to pay for that one?

No, because I see the £50,000 number here

would imply that that is the reserve around about that.

That's a crazy one.

There was, you know what, every now and then

a project, Colton comes up, I'd love to see that one.

There was a dusty one.

Yeah, dusty, crusty, mustard one.

25 grand or so.

Yeah.

Which, you know, TDC project,

Colton.

Because also, like, when they get to that

sort of level, it's the very expensive ones

that were very clean and very,

you know, pristine and you don't want to use

it and they're standard normally.

Yeah.

We want the sort of one that you can,

is a little bit higher miles,

is a little bit tatier, you can probably

modify it and not be too bothered by it.

And then that's the kind of one that you want to see.

Sorry, I think Edwin's just on TikTok.

I want TikTok.

This is the car from when it was still in

Brunei, parked up and it looked not,

not in a great place.

It's a little bit mashed.

So it's an O plug.

I believe, well, but it's a right hand drive

car, which would make it a voxel.

Yeah, weird.

If you know anything about anything,

let us know.

Let us know.

Speak what you know.

Oh, they weren't words.

What I just said there.

Ben, you've been here at T50S,

brakes GT3 lap record.

And I believe it was accidentally also.

Was it?

I don't know that.

The T50S has broken a GT3 lap record in

Bahrain, I believe, of all places.

Now, let me just store what I put what's up.

Okay, great.

So this is basically the T50,

the modern day McLaren F1.

Gordon Murray Machine.

And this is the S, so it's the track-focused one.

I believe it is road legal?

I can't remember.

Is it road legal?

You are a newsman.

This is your news.

I don't know.

This is not new news.

I am now at this.

All I know is the accidentally thing.

Essentially, they went to, they broke the

Bahrain International GT3 lap record in that.

Now, here's my question about this.

People who know motorsport will know a lot

more than me.

I know nothing about motorsport.

Nissan F1.

That's a car.

When it became the GTR to race,

it was in the GT1 class.

So take that same, we're moving down to the T50.

It should, in theory, be in like a GT1 class.

Maybe that doesn't exist anymore.

I don't know.

But why are we comparing it to GT3s then?

It's like building the SSE Bloodhound and

going, this thing is faster than the fastest road car.

I know.

Surely it should be.

But why is it a big thing that it's the GT3?

GT3 record.

Ben, mate.

I don't know.

Racing.

Well, I know.

Is it broke the record?

OK, thanks.

I saw it.

I thought that's interesting.

TDC Cream News.

You heard it here first.

I don't really know what the I've never heard

of GT1 recently.

Yeah, maybe it's gone.

GT1 was like, that's like a Porsche.

What the hell is it called?

What was the Porsche, the GT1?

The Strasmin version?

Yes, but when it just called a GT anyway,

like that category where it was like super

hyper mega car type stuff.

And then GT2 and GT3, which was a bit more

sort of not normal, but you know,

GT3 features and what such.

I believe it ended.

This says here ended in 2009.

And you know what he was in there?

The Mercilago was in there.

The bloody hell.

Yeah.

OK, yeah, yeah.

The RGT.

So the end of GT1, at least what I can find

the race cars, Selena 7R.

That C6R Corvette, the yellow one.

Yeah.

car, Mercilago and Ford GT.

I remember I knew nothing about motorsport

and I saw there was an event at Silverstone

back when I was a teenager, a young teenager,

and I said to my dad, I want to go here.

It was around my birthday.

I said, can we go here?

I knew nothing about racing.

I didn't know that.

I didn't know there was practice.

I didn't know it was qualifying.

I just knew that there was a Mercilago RGT taking part.

I didn't care.

I don't think it was even winning.

I didn't care.

All I wanted to do was see that car go past,

but that little degree of car.

I want to say MC12 might have been in there.

The sort of race car version.

I've just seen it.

It was in earlier.

That batch of race cars where it's like these

are the super cars of the day,

but stripped out, proper, like unrestricted noise.

That is the best.

But still, I mean, that's, well,

we don't know yet from Benjamin.

So perhaps he's doing his research as we speak.

So it might be that GT3 is for all road cars

converted into race cars.

With what I'm thinking, that's like the GT,

as in Porsche 911 GT3 and the M4 and a few

other bits like that.

But they are like, actually,

they're not really the road cars anymore.

They're kind of literally tubular chassis type stuff.

But they broke the record.

Accidentally, I heard.

And again, I don't know anyone that.

I just read that was the article I read.

But I did watch, because my dad sent it to

me, there was a Top Gear video on this.

I think it was at Bahrain as well.

That thing sounds unbelievable.

Yes.

Yeah, it really does.

the video is literally that that car taking

off down the straight and the good members

meeting I was at where I think they can't

remember if they could get they couldn't get

the S started, but the T50 and the T33 went past.

Oh, no, sorry, the S did go past.

Whoa.

Like, as of Zonda are, you can never be him.

Yeah.

You won't be him, unfortunately.

But it's close.

GMA.

You know, we're right here.

You let Harry's garage have a go.

We've drove past you once.

You know, and Ben can go and there's three of us.

The three seats, exactly.

Can I have a go, Gordon?

It's a little go.

No, no, no, don't put them off.

Do you know what they'll do that?

You can have a go in some of the other GMA cars.

Like, have you seen these other creations?

No.

You can have a go in the one that they did

Mongolia on the Grand Tour.

What, Jeff?

No.

That's what it's called.

John.

Is that what it's called?

John, that's it.

Possibly, either way.

It was John, yeah.

Yeah, other way, it's a cool car.

I mean, it is absolute unobtainium,

but still, it's just nice that it exists.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Although I prefer the road one and I prefer

S1LM, still, the one that we created,

the one that we requested and then it got,

we came up with, we need to request down this

year's Monterrey car.

What do you like?

Now, I meant to ask you this,

Will.

What if there was a

47:43 Resto Mod Mercilago Discussion

Resto Mod Mercilago?

Do you think you'd like that?

Ah, yeah.

Now, there will be.

There will be.

Yes, there has been the Diablo,

but I think they've cocked it up every time.

There's also the Gallardo one.

There was a Gallardo and it's based on a five liter.

So, theory, that's right.

That's right up my alley.

So far up my alley, I know it's there with me

in the alley.

But it doesn't look right.

No.

They never, I know they have to change it and

they wanna make it so it looks like that

million or two million pound car.

But I think, I don't know, I think what

people want is I want it to look exactly like

how it looked when I was younger or when I

couldn't afford it or whatever.

Or when I considered buying it,

but the tech was too old.

Exactly like that and sound,

basically, exactly like that.

But it has modern features, either like the

steering is better or the suspension is updated.

It now has better brakes, it now has an

actual infotainment system and a reversing

camera, but it's all quite retro power style.

So, okay, so you wouldn't do like singer

style where there are still some visual changes.

Singer is, I'm not that bothered by 9/11,

so I genuinely couldn't tell you the difference anyway.

But that's the point.

Yeah.

That should be the point where it's just--

Like Diablo we saw in Monterey,

that, I mean, it's not a bad looking thing,

it's very cool to see in person,

but I'd much rather see a real Diablo.

Agreed.

Now again, if you took a real Diablo and you

updated it, you made the interior,

you made the shifter a bit better.

Yeah.

Unfortunately, I've just looked up and

eccentrica, who are those people making that

Diablo, have said that they may follow up

with a Mercilago.

Well, that's fine.

They can do that, but the original,

that's why I think some of them will lose

with that, is they lose, people like the old

car, as it is old.

Yeah.

It's the way it sounds, it's the little

foibles you might get with an old car,

that gives it its character.

It's only little bits, like infotainment and

little bits that make it drivable and usable every day.

It's basically making a Mercilago,

a Diablo, a Gallardo, that fires up on the

button every single day without a problem and

you could drive it through Europe,

no issue, but it still looks like the old thing.

So, you know, I can't afford any of these

cars, but still, if you're a resto mod

person, do it properly.

The other day, I arrived at the unit,

just around the

corner there is a little junction and a van

was pulling out.

And I decided to flash the van to let him out.

I flashed

him very little.

I'd fit my trousers off and I flashed him

nice.

But it was normal.

I gave him this was a normal,

flashed and said, "Where are you going?"

After you.

As he pulled out, he waved at me,

somewhat sarcastic.

I thought, "A little bit strange,

but whatever."

And then I got given this symbol now to describe that.

That is called me.

To the ear, phones for you, but with the phones.

So a wave and a little smile,

and then a call me.

And I looked and I thought it was a sort of

gray transit van, sort of business up the side.

And I thought, "I don't know that person."

Maybe it's someone I've met and I don't remember.

And I was like, "I meant to call someone.

Someone called me."

I've missed the call.

I've got to return the call.

And it baffled me.

It really baffled me for the whole day.

And then we got an email.

I don't know if you want your whole name said.

I'm going to say it from Peter,

who is a boy, a boiler.

He's not a boiler.

What would you call that person?

A boiler.

I guess you'd probably call it that.

Good morning, Team TDC.

I would just like to cap.

I would just like to cap.

I'm going to lie.

For any confusion, I may have caused this morning.

When you gracefully let me out of X Road,

the great transit, playing your unusual jesters game.

It was hopefully understood eventually,

but just wanted to add a clarity.

When I realized it was you, I didn't have

long to come up with a gesture.

It went from surfer dude to in my mind,

call me.

It wasn't until I drove off seeing the

puzzled look that my gesture may have been

confused with get off the phone,

which you certainly weren't on.

I was baffled.

And then after reading this email,

I was annoyed because I have been had.

We have been I've been had at our own game.

Literally now I will explain this to me.

And the first thing I said was the game is off.

The creepers know now now we get.

So once we come up, once we come out with our

creamer stickers and our cream related

stickers, your job, your your goal should you

choose to accept it is when you see a fellow

creamer, if you see us in the world,

you got throughout.

That is your goal is to get the reaction.

You need that.

What was that?

Hey, who's that?

Nothing mean.

No, quite literally, but the perfect not

almost like it played out as an example.

You you didn't feel upset by it.

I just

confused.

But you were like, what's that?

I need to think that, do I know that person?

Do I need to call someone?

And then there it is.

So top top work, Peter, creamer of the week.

Yeah, absolutely.

Confused with that.

Fantastic work.

And first thing in the morning as well.

Yeah, at his own game.

And such close proximity to the unit as well.

That's why that's why it didn't feel real.

No, it wasn't a weekend or something.

I might have missed it on the weekend.

But this was like, hang on.

Have you just, what's going on here?

He tracked me down to do this.

Yeah, well done.

Well done, Pete.

Well done, mate.

You got me this time.

Edwin, you're putting here C63 name.

I have a casual bit of car murder.

The Mercedes C63.

Yes.

The one that we all know, the 6.2 little.

Why is it called that?

Because 63 is the old classic racing thing,

even though it's actually a 6.2.

Right.

Now, guess what?

There was a 63 before the C63 ever came out.

I present to you through doing random,

nerdy searches.

The 2002 Mercedes CL63 AMG.

What the?

61.5.

And they have the S class of the same gen,

the S63 AMG.

And what was it powered by?

A 6.3.

A 6.3 liter, not a V8, but a V12.

But look at that.

That's where the number, now,

obviously, it did come from the original,

the red pig.

That's where it's kind of from.

But hey, now, all of this top gear teaching

me that it's 6.2, but it's actually 6.3.

They made a 6.3.

And it was called the CL63 in 2002.

They're super rare.

Why don't I know this?

Because there was something like,

I think it was, there was 25 of one and then

like 100 of the other.

Not in this country.

They were in this country.

So they were all back in this country.

I believe that car was a right hand drive.

So that means they would have had the CL55,

the CL63 and the 65.

Yes.

Available at the same time.

I think maybe there was one into a cross over

here with the 65, then the caden,

what the 63 was.

But for 2002, you could buy a CL63 that had a 6.3.

That was a fantastic piece of knowledge to

add to my brain.

Yeah, just a random piece of knowledge that

for whatever reason, I will store forever.

Yeah, no, that's the moment I found that out,

I was like locked in.

Yeah, so one tell me something else that's

actually useful, I don't remember that.

I don't remember that.

Directions to places, what was that?

Hello, the S63 AMG.

Someone goes, hello, my name is Jay to go,

right Gregory.

The 6.3 actually was from 2002.

Did it actually exist?

And it's nothing to do with the red pig.

Anyway, that's a cool, I like that.

That's a tidbit.

Yeah, quite literally.

A tidbit that I will tell people.

Yeah, there we go.

tidbits to tell the people.

Edwin, you've put in here something about Tolplaza.

You say Tolplaza, worth it alone.

Here's my conundrum.

Coming down from Liverpool, you have two

choices around the great city of Birmingham.

Birmingham, if you're not from the UK,

it's kind of like our Las Vegas.

It's a destination for all.

We love it.

We love it.

It's so big and so busy, for good reason,

that there is a ring road around the whole

side of it.

And they made one side of the ring road,

we could drive on it.

And then so that you could get around it

faster and away from it, sorry,

around it.

Quicker, they made a toll road,

a road that you pay to go on.

The M6 toll.

The M6 toll, very good.

Ben, do you know how much it is now?

I drove past it every day, I didn't do it on it though.

I'm going to say the other way.

It's like

56:11 Toll Booths and M6 Toll Road

I last paid seven pounds.

Oh, I was going to say six pounds,

30.

It was 11 pounds.

What?

It was nine pounds for if you're the

cheapest, then up to 11.

How much is it worth it to you to go through a toll?

Right?

Oh, priceless, isn't it, really?

Well, this is the thing.

If you explain that to a car person,

I'm going to give you an opportunity.

70 mile an hour motorway.

You may come to a stop and you may do the

fattest pull you'd like.

You could, you know, up to 70.

Yeah.

You could go more if you wanted,

but we're not going to talk about that.

Crime.

You may just stop on the middle of the

motorway and do a pull.

Yeah.

Also into like no man's land.

Yeah.

There's seven lanes going into three.

So you have to be everyone else.

There's a chance someone might come out at

the same time.

So you have to get in front of them.

And here's the thing.

There's a kind of a general accepted practice

where we're all going for it.

It's not like most people are going to go,

"Oh, I'm just going to poodle up to it."

No, everyone guns it.

Yeah.

That, I know the 11 pounds is too much and I

was upset about it.

But three or four pounds, not every day,

but like once every month, I'd happily pay that.

It's like entering the ring.

Literally that.

That is our version.

The barrier goes up and it's like,

"Well, beyond this point, go."

Surely it's just the purge.

All crimes are now loose.

between that area and between after the

barrier, and then until the last lanes again,

no police, there is no governance.

You're not allowed.

You can't be sitting on the

other side of that.

I'm just not operating just in there.

It's like the Vatican City.

Exactly.

Different rules.

It's a modern day version of,

for those 10 seconds or less,

I'm free.

and where the lines start for the lanes.

Beautiful.

Absolutely wonderful.

And yeah, I went on it.

And of course I did a big pull in the clear.

And everyone around me was doing the same thing.

There's a kind of five series diesel that was

just going for it.

Maybe all motorways need that,

just like as a reset.

So when there is a, obviously there would be

traffic, obviously.

But if we made it like 25 lanes wide,

you go, right, everyone, everyone line up,

line up, line up, we're going for a reset.

And then the really fast people would get ahead.

on it.

So I want all of the, I want everyone to

filter into their, their, their cubicles.

What would you call them?

Booths, lanes.

Yeah, but where you pay.

You're at your pool booth.

Yeah, the pool lanes.

Everyone lines up and until they're full,

until we've got 10 full slots,

the gates don't open.

And then there's a, there is a 4-milla-one

style countdown.

And the gates will go off at the same time,

like BMX races.

And there's three lanes up at the end,

sort it out between yourself.

Gran Turismo sound effects come on.

Literally that.

I want to bet on that.

I want to go guy in that old guy in the 630i.

He's got this.

He's got the reaction.

He's got it.

He's what it loaded up.

He loads it up on the talk of it.

But how far would I, you know,

you sit, you sit in the line for 45 minutes,

that will make it worth it.

I can already see the comment.

I'm illegal.

You shouldn't be doing that.

That is reckless to be doing that.

You've never had fun in your life.

You're boring old bastards.

Ben Mate, don't take that.

I actually haven't ever done it.

Have you never done that?

Have you even been to a toll booth?

I probably gave it a call, but nothing crazy.

But that's what I mean.

Even a normal person, such as yourself,

would still feel an inclement to go.

I definitely give it a little something.

I don't know if I did a, you know,

red line clutch done, but I probably gave it some.

But still, more than you would any other

traffic light or, 'cause that's what it is.

It's essentially a traffic light.

You're just saying go.

Although you say it's dangerous,

but I mean, people merge at 25 miles now and

that's dangerous.

Much worse, exactly.

Whereas I want to get up to subway speeds as

quick as possible.

Told booths in another country I feel less about.

Exactly.

I did it in Italy and in the US.

I have a call, it's not actually cool,

it's actually quite funny.

I don't know if I've told this on the podcast

before, but a toll booth story,

me and my girlfriend laugh about this quite

often, is that there are lots of toll booths in Italy.

There you go.

That's a great one, man.

I was going to Marnello actually,

or towards like Sante Carter and that's to go

to the sort of motor value, if you like.

And I drove through a toll booth,

I was like, you know, you get like lanes,

it's like, you just drive through it.

I was like, I don't know if I meant to stop

from that, so I just drove through it.

I thought surely, maybe it's like a plate

recognition thing, and it's like,

I know what you've come from,

you just pay it at the other end.

And I got to the other end, and they were

like, they were speaking Italian,

obviously.

What's going on here?

And they said, 'cause they wouldn't let me

through, obviously, 'cause I didn't have the ticket.

And they said to me, where have you come from?

And I didn't compute what they meant.

And I said, England.

I just heard a sigh on the other side of the

microphone and the barrier opened and he just

let me care.

I was like, you didn't say like,

where you originally from.

It was like, where did you just come from?

Well, I was born just outside slough originally.

And then I've come and grew up around there.

I grew up here and I've moved since then,

but yes.

Where are you from?

England.

Oh, okay, whatever, go away.

Do you know?

In other countries, Tobus, I ain't racing from them.

No, no, 'cause I feel like international

rosars will be on.

I don't know the game.

But being a foreigner though,

you get where my dad is Dutch and he has

played the, I'm just a clueless foreigner

while living here for the last 20 years.

So the amount of absolutely ridiculous

automotive things I've watched him do and

then he will say in perfect English,

watch this.

Do something dumb, get pulled up on it and

go, I'm sorry, I don't really speak.

I don't understand.

I don't understand what's going on.

And it's always, just don't do it again.

Go on then.

Oh, I choose Mike.

What do we have next?

Oh, we have.

Richard Porter has been in touch.

Now, I'm excited about this because you told

me not to look in the email.

I saw it last night and I've listened to it.

Now, Richard Porter, listen to his email.

World famous.

He is a writer extraordinaire on

1:02:22 Richard Porter's Tractors at Night Song

the golden years of top game.

The most famous Richard in regards to top game.

Absolutely, he is the Richard.

Yeah.

He is Richard.

Richard, you reversed into the sports lorry.

Obviously.

We had on the podcast a little while back,

obviously Ben wasn't there.

It was the longest podcast.

We could have probably podcasted it for

possibly three days.

Many moons.

And we have conversed like pen pals via email.

And again, like many conversations we have on

the podcast, we don't respond.

No.

Really, we sort of respond here.

Yeah, Richard sends us an email.

We respond via the podcast.

That's the relation.

It's how it works.

Until we meet again.

Yeah.

But I saw one that it stood out to me.

So in the emails that we have,

I saw an email from Richard Porto,

I thought I must open this, and I saw Benjamin.

Tractors at Night Song.

That's song.

What?

A song.

Now Richard Porto is a very capable musician.

He loves his synthesizers, he loves making music.

So you might have just got your own custom.

Wait, no, wait, no.

He didn't make a song.

Tractors at Night, Brackett's Feet Cream,

MP3.

How was

felt?

F-E-E-T.

(laughing)

That's just pseudogram.

F-E-A-T.

Okay, good.

Well, I thought this was like a song that

he sent in that would...

Now unfortunately, Will's gonna be playing it

through his phone, so the fidelity's gonna be

a little bit lower.

It is three minutes, 20 long.

You're holding it to your ear.

It's three minutes long.

I'm not, yeah, I'm trying to talk to you.

It's three minutes, 20 long.

Right, here we go.

So I might have to skip through it.

Three minutes, 20.

Three, ooh.

That's a synth.

The intro goes on a little while.

I love that intro to drive.

This now feels like a radio show.

We're going on to the...

I think that's a lot recently.

I wanna preface it by saying that I'm not

beefing the farmers' heads on that,

but we love the farm.

But the people who design tractors,

you've got the headline thread.

What are you doing?

This giant appears.

Attractors that point.

There's a gargantuan machine.

Attractors that point.

Attractors that point.

This is the heamer of the night.

You're for Bristol.

What's that long car flying down the road for?

You're for Bristol.

Oh, Sam, I don't know.

Huge bice.

You're for Bristol, man.

It's a nice hombre.

No, we won't play the whole thing.

I'll skip through because I haven't heard

towards the end.

I absolutely love Kavinsky.

I want to know.

Is the tractors at night?

Is that you, Richard?

No, no, that's Ben.

I'm doing this.

I don't know what you'd call it in musical terms.

The tractors at night.

That sounds a lot like Richard's fault.

No, because that was Ben at the beginning.

He said, I want to speak about tractors at night.

Richard, if we could get a breakdown of how

you made that, I love samples of you.

I'm actually somewhat of an audio file.

I love collecting CDs and things.

And I have a load of Kavinsky albums.

And that very plausibly could be on a

Kavinsky track list.

Can we get this as a record?

Like as an actual, I want to cover,

I want everything.

I know I joked about it being the intro

drive, but can you send me that?

I want to overlay it with the intro shot.

I like match it up because that was great.

We will, what we'll do is we will,

in that, with Richard Porter's permission,

link that so that you can listen to that

fully, we'll put that in the description

somewhere on YouTube.

No, he's from Bristol.

No, that's coming in.

You're from Bristol.

Mega, as always.

That was amazing.

Shout out, Rich Porter.

We might have a go at doing one to Smith and

Sniff, except we've got no musical talent,

so it might come out a little bit worse.

Also, it'll be all three of us doing it.

We all get an instrument.

Rich of Port, come back on the podcast.

Yes, absolutely.

But without you, Ben.

Yeah, no.

Fine.

Yeah, okay.

Wow, why?

Because I didn't even push back on that a little bit.

Well, if you don't want me, I wouldn't be.

No care to meet Rich of Port.

I would love to meet Rich of Port.

Yeah, that's what it says.

Well, we mean the proof will be in the pudding.

Okay.

Richard Porto, get in contact.

Porto, get in contact.

Give us some dates.

That's okay, why do I have to do it?

Also, it's quite a long process,

because we're saying Richard,

get in contact.

He'll send us an email, and we'll go,

we can't respond to that.

And then we'll have to wait till the next podcast.

We'll go on free April the 12th,

and then we'll say on the podcast,

or Richard, we're actually, we're not free that day.

It's sort of the 17th.

1:07:21 RS3 Special Edition

And it'll go on for weeks.

Yes, and years, and then it'll never happen.

And finally, not quite finally,

penultimately.

Very nice.

Very nice.

Could be a word.

We've got, Edwin's putting here,

I'm just gonna say it.

RS3, Ben.

Really?

Ben, it's because I have something for you,

and I saw it, and then a load of people

tagged me in it as well, but I saw it fast.

There is a new RS3 special edition.

I saw this.

Yeah, did you see its party piece?

No.

I'm gonna show it to you.

It's over here for audio listeners.

Is it where, where am I?

Oh, I'm over here.

Here you go.

Here's the front of the car.

Ben, are you ready?

Can you describe for me what's happening?

So we've got a headlight, and it's

indicating, and now it's doing,

it's doing a dance with them.

It's doing a dance, right?

So it has like a little eyebrow above the

lights with rows of three, yeah,

like rows of three in there.

They're doing lots of them.

And that's how many cylinders the car has?

No, it's the firing order of the first cylinder.

Oh, shh.

In jaw.

Do I know?

Do I know?

Do I know?

Why is that cooler to me than the number of cylinders?

You're such a waffle.

I don't know what I think.

Do I like that?

It's the order in which the fire cylinder

goes, so it's like...

It's one for three, four, five...

Sorry, for four, right.

They've had the...

Words and names in the lights.

That's kind of an Audi thing of recent.

For people listening to what we've spent

about it, the days are going on the top of it.

Oh, my explanation wasn't in my mouth.

Sorry, we'll explain that properly.

It's a grid of LEDs.

Oh, sorry, yeah.

And each one individual lights up in the

firing order engine.

Meanwhile, me, it's a row of lights in it.

I thought you said that.

I don't quite get yourvernacular.

Can you explain what it is for the wheels?

That is a problem.

It's a headlight.

Yeah.

In front of a car.

That's the front light on a car.

I call it a grid.

Okay, I like it.

In an eyebrow fashion.

I like it.

And then they light up in sort of sequence,

and the sequence is the firing order of the

five cylinder engine.

Oh, that's very eloquently put.

Thank you.

But so Ben, you don't and do like that at the same time.

For some reason to me, and this is an insight

into how my mind works, I find that cooler

than the 10 lights.

'Cause the thing about the 10 lights is they

just--

That's the shame.

Let me explain.

There's just 10 lights.

Whereas this, they're doing something,

you know, the 10 lights are,

George will be cool.

Also if the 10 lights did a dance.

No, stop speaking.

Combine the two, then it's cool.

'Cause that isn't the number of cylinders in

the RS3, is it?

What?

What I'm saying is, imagine if the 10 lights,

the 10 lights on the S6, that exist because

there's 10 cylinders.

If those 10 lights were in the firing order.

So you do admit they exist because it's 10 cylinders.

Ooh.

Is that what I said?

Yes, you said that.

I thought I didn't like it.

You said it was just a happy,

co-inky dink.

Mm.

Yeah, but that's not a coincidence.

Okay, don't just find that, that makes more

sense because then, okay, I'll go back to my RS.

So you have the 18 year old car to start

doing a robo cop dance every time it starts up.

I'd love to be inside Ben's mind because it's

just him fighting himself.

Is he going, do I think that?

No, I don't think that.

I do think that actually is true.

I don't think that's true.

I've got pretty loose opinions on things.

1:10:30 Firing Order Lights Debate

I don't really care at all.

That though is different because,

okay, my original argument with the S6 was

that they put 10 lights there and went,

that's a bit like, you know.

I'd say that is the natural successor to that

RS 6 line.

But they went, we're going to make that functional.

What do you mean functional?

If I'm driving down the road and there's

someone doing the firing order dance of a 5-cylinder.

That's not an accident.

Did you think someone's like,

they're doing the timing or they're putting

ignition coils in or something?

Let me just refer back to my headlight.

I've missed that one.

Could you do it again?

Sorry, my dad was calling me.

Give me my problem.

Yeah, no, that was, they went,

we're going to make this.

Whereas the S6 was...

I suppose the S6, they mined it.

Despite the fact that a normal A6 didn't have 10.

So they added the 10, random number from Thinet.

Oh, don't know.

Random number added to the S6 and the RS6.

I got so many abusive messages with the Jennifer.

Are you going to get it?

I don't, do what?

I don't know.

I think that's quite cool 'cause it lights up.

The other one is just lights.

So Ben's simple.

I just wanted to show it to you,

Ben.

I wanted to see your thoughts.

But why is the name of the thing in our,

in our Slack chat that?

What's that, then?

RS3, what was it?

RS3, Ben, and then the sort of sort of,

it's called you name, a name basically.

Yeah, yeah, why?

Because it was for you, it's for me to pose

this question.

So basically, because it issues back and

forth, Ben's entertained by it.

Yeah.

Like some sort.

It's like it's Coca-Mella.

(laughing)

It's like, oh no, that's fine.

Yeah, no, it's cool.

That's cool.

That was

never my point.

I feel it's not a hill you'll die on.

No, that's all.

I don't think anything I've ever said will come through.

What I say, that is cool because it's a feature.

The other thing is just, just a row of LEDs

for sake of it.

Okay, but surely that is a row of LEDs for

the sake of it.

Of course.

They could have just made that one block of LED.

Now here's what I'll say.

Here's what I'll say.

I do believe.

Sorry, if Ben was formulating me a bit.

Here's what I'll say and then went,

right, let's, what am I going to say?

I was still late.

(laughing)

Let's name it go.

Here's what I'll say, here's what I'll say.

What I'll say is, here.

They designed that.

No way, no go away.

And then afterwards, they went,

we'll make it the firing order.

I draw, I will down that hill.

I don't think on the day that they drew that

car, they will have the light as the firing order.

I think it was something that they came up after.

So you think they just randomly designed this?

Because that was a shoe-horner,

a meaning into that.

It's going against my original thing about