Cringey Car Ads, Perish and Poser Cars - C.R.E.A.M. #69

0:00 Introduction and Rules

I really need a good service.

But I purr like a pussy cat.

I had to change out the light on Moira the Microwave.

I mean, does it mean die?

Like my bushes are perished,

they're dead.

Bloody hell.

I didn't hear about that.

Hello and

welcome back to the 69th Cars Rule Everything

Around Me podcast.

Number one, a correction.

We said it was 69 last week.

Bends are full.

Correct.

Today is everyone's favorite number,

69.

Myself at Edwin, William to my left and in

front of the camera.

Not behind.

Whoever commented that.

Yeah.

Hello.

Yeah.

There you go.

Clean, Benjamin.

How are we all doing?

I have a feeling today.

You got a feeling?

I have a feeling.

How do you think?

I think it might be because I'm going to say it.

Let's just do a quick one around the table.

It's a rule for me.

It's a rule for me.

I'm rolling.

I

think it must have been before Christmas.

So for context,

if it's your first cars rule everything

around me, we asked

at the beginning of every podcast to cars

rule or ruin

everything around us.

And for the first time in a long time,

it is rule for all of the gang.

When you see behind you, if you're seeing,

if you're not seeing, there is a yellow

Renault Clio 200 behind that today started up

for the first time in my ownership,

which is very, very pleasing.

I have my Range Rover, I didn't mention this

last one week, but I had a major brake fluid

leak from Range Rover.

That is now fixed.

I come from a glado is also basically fixed.

So I'm in, I'm in good town.

You're in good town.

I'm in good town.

I'm in good town.

I'm in good town.

I'm in good town.

I'm also Ben's in L town because you've got a

clear that runs and drives.

Yeah.

And is it in your name yet?

It's not as you in my name yet.

Oh, sorry.

I do need to do that.

Okay.

I need to do that.

We'll hold off on the L for now,

Ben.

You're safe from an L.

I'm not writing the apology until you

interview the V5.

V5 is not proof of any wrong thing.

Christ Jesus.

Benjamin.

Hi.

I'm just just on the camera.

Sorry.

Okay.

That's not what I asked.

No, we'll just wait.

Everyone will wait at home as well.

I think.

Don't cut this.

Okay.

Benjamin.

I'm a bit.

Okay.

Yeah.

That's completely understandable,

actually.

I'm in a big rule.

Why is that?

I have a Golf GTD.

No way.

I've been mashing it to work on the motorway

adaptive cruise control.

Most people would say driving.

That's my set.

Yeah.

Mashing miles on it.

It's great.

And today I put some space on it.

So I want to make, I want to take a moment.

Yeah.

Because Ben, you, I was working on the 172 to

get onto in a moment.

You working on your 200 here?

Yep.

You did spaces by yourself.

I did.

Now, Ben, we did breaks the other night.

Yeah.

Thank you.

That was a tough one.

Yeah.

For Ben.

Ben, Ben comes in to every, who we're going

to go with this set.

In every automotive job with a jolly sense of

glee and

youthful optimism.

Of course.

Because Zuberance.

Yeah.

Despite what everyone thinks,

I'm actually a very positive

nice guy.

Because we're going to do it,

gang.

Yeah.

Let's

do it.

Yeah.

And 30 seconds in he goes, I hate this.

I want

to go home and I hate this.

I can't do anything.

And I'm useless and I can't do anything.

Do you know what it is?

Right?

It's two things.

Number one.

This unit has every tool in the sun,

but it's just an only if you know it.

I don't.

And it goes, I get so annoyed because I'm

here and Edwin goes, oh, how do you do your breaks?

And I want to be appreciative and I want to help.

And I don't want to, you're doing free labor

for me and your evening, which you are trying to see.

But so I want to help.

So I want to get like, Edwin got the caliper off.

I was like, we did one side of the front each

at the same time.

He got off in the first like eight seconds

and I was there like trying to mess with the first bowl.

It's because you go to a mechanics place and

if you try and work in someone else's

workshop, unless they are like McLaren

technology center clean, you go,

where's

4:07 Ben's Solo Brake Job Experience

the 10 mil?

Or you go to look for a 10 mil,

you can't find it and they go,

no, just check the left pocket of my jacket over there.

So I'll keep them in there.

Everyone has weird places that they keep things.

But I get very upset because I'm there like

just trying to, I try to do my bet.

I don't want it to, I don't want you to think

I'm making you work on my car for free.

I mean, you're just standing there.

And then it ends up being that because I'm A)

in conversation.

A) in conversation and B) I can't find anything.

But anyway, but my point is you did the

spaces by yourself.

Yeah.

And you're happy with those?

You think you're waiting at home?

Probably not in the next podcast.

No, I think so.

I've got to talk French in the car to

double check them.

The beginning of Cream 70 is going to start

with the eulogy.

Yeah.

Behind the cameras.

There's no one.

Yeah.

It's not the camera actually.

In front of the camera.

In front of the camera is a door.

Well, behind the camera, there wouldn't be a camera.

So behind the camera, there would be just no one.

Yeah.

It would be like a Christmas podcast.

Yeah.

Which speaking of, I want to mention this,

nice jumper you're wearing.

Hey man, thanks, I'm wearing my Ferrari jumper.

Which no one's ever seen.

Proof?

No, yeah.

That podcast did exist.

No, I just went out and bought this,

I'm just flexing.

I don't know Ferrari, I just own a jumper.

So it's a rule for you.

Rule for me, and that car is great.

It's a rule for me because my little Clio

172, you're hearing this early.

I think this video comes out a little bit early.

Spoiler, we got the 172 started.

I would say much more than that.

I'm expecting it to work.

It was a joyous occasion.

It was amazing.

And the best thing is, Will got his 200

started, 'cause it hadn't started since you owned it.

And then like 20 minutes later,

we got mine started next door.

Something feels wrong.

Yeah, we're having wins.

Too many wins.

Something's gonna go wrong.

You know the car movie where the drivers do

the perfect lap and they cut to a random bolt.

Yeah.

(laughing)

But it's down the road.

But it's Ben's wheel bolt.

(laughing)

I don't like that.

Someone then, what was the comment that you

saw earlier from the last podcast?

Someone said, "Will manifesting Ben's crash is crazy."

Say to you again, going, "Oh God,

I hope it's Ben."

(laughing)

It's got, I mean, if anything,

wheel bolts feels pretty dangerous.

Yeah, finally, not the end of the line.

No, I know how Ben's mind's working.

He's thinking about going

and checking the talk on them again.

I will be checking

them when I'm on the way home.

All the way home.

(laughing)

Nah, it's a good week.

It's a rule week for the gang.

It seems pretty decent.

It's pretty decent.

There is one more day left of the week,

so we never know.

It's true.

Shall we move on?

Should we swiftly?

We've gone quite quickly through our rules,

but it's all rules.

No.

It's all rules.

If there's no news is good news.

Surely, we'll call that.

Yeah, ruins is good news.

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(

8:30 Electric Sports Car Market Analysis

is like dudes that go, I made a bit of money,

and I want a car that looks like it's fast and cool.

I've got to go buy that.

Not someone who goes, you know,

I'm sure they're incredibly good cars.

I'm not trying to not turn a shit talk to

them, but they're just that they're a little

bit weak looking like the base Caymans and things.

They just don't look that cool.

I'm trying to think of other cars.

Well, I think they might be some of those.

Yeah, there is.

I'm trying to think of similar sports cars

that are an electric.

There aren't really an electric sport.

types of star thing, which is horrible.

Let's have a look.

I'm going to type in electric sports cars.

They have that whole star thing that hasn't

really shared.

You never know.

That might be a thing when they go,

you know what?

Actually, this is going to sell like absolute

hotcakes, but it might help do some.

We've got Google says, you've got the Rimmack Navera.

Okay.

That's in budget.

That should be.

What's that?

What's that?

That's the electric.

No, that's what they're saying.

No, that's just a render.

That's fantastic.

If that's got electric stuff in it,

really, Porsche can really go stuff them.

Because that needs an engine.

So what I've basically got here is we've got

a bath, a bath, 500 or 600E.

Yeah.

And then we've got Cyberster,

and then it goes to like the Maserati

electric and then take on.

So that's it.

We've got both four cars.

So yeah, there is a little Gepin's America.

Yeah.

That's what I mean.

Cause when you said that, I thought,

I don't know of anything else that's electric

and sort of medium size.

But I guess no one's buying electric sports cars anyway.

So if there are none available,

how can they be bought?

No, but I'm saying like, if you look at like

those Maserati electric, I haven't seen many

sizes around.

So market that isn't selling well,

someone.

I should enter this market.

But here's why I think it will fail.

And this is based on purely vibes and thoughts.

Other people in the Porsche shareholder meeting.

Okay, go on.

But do you remember a time when they put four

cylinder in the box?

Yes, I do.

And what did they go back to?

Six, a six cylinder.

It has to matter.

I just don't see who's going to buy that.

Because if you're one electric car,

you just buy a crossover.

That's the people who buy it.

Or I can model three.

But to spend like, I would assume it's going

to be a version.

Fine.

So this is where we come to.

So originally, they went with stopping

production of current generation 718.

And in the box of generation,

it's going to be electric.

And everyone went great.

Sounds great.

Then they went, okay, what we're going to do

instead is we're going to keep the GT4 on the

high end, like track ones and the sporty ones.

We'll have them petrol, but then we're going

to have electric ones, which I'm like,

okay, make some more sense.

And now they're saying that they've now ended

production on the 718, came in in Boxster in

October last year, apparently the the cost

development and the fact that I think they're

starting to realise that one's going to buy this.

Yeah.

They're now considering internally scrapping

it because they have a new CEO who's coming

and basically is like, yo, what are we doing?

They've looked at the amount of take hands on

the market and gone, no, no,

no, no, no, there's appreciation.

I entirely forgot that this piece of news is

that it might be cancelled.

I was getting rolled up about the fact that

it exists in that anyway.

No, no, we're canceling it because we don't

think it'll work.

Yeah, exactly.

Will.

I hate you guys.

I'm glad you agree.

Yeah, I think it's still a new CEO and stuff.

But yeah, so that might be cancelled.

So fingers crossed, gang.

Come on now.

Come on, Porsche.

And across to another continent now,

China has

11:43 China's Ban on Pop-Out Door Handles

banned Bopout.

Bopout.

Okay.

China has banned pop out door handles.

Yes.

Now, this is from you.

So this is going to be.

This is going to be on Ben's phone.

I'm ready.

This is going to be the china.

Hold on.

I'll get back to that.

This is going to be something about China.

And I think there's door handle.

Has they banned them?

Teslas do it.

Yeah.

They have, I think the ones that X and the S,

I think have it where the panels actually pop

out electrically when you unlock it.

I think the monothra and stuff have it where

it's always in, you press it in and like a

bit pops out.

That makes sense.

Right.

So their logic is basically it's not worth

the gain in range to then.

Oh, so they did it for range?

Yeah, it's for slipperiness.

Okay.

Interesting.

But the, obviously, if there's a malfunction

or like you're stuck in a burning car or

something and it doesn't work,

then it's not worth it.

At least look how I'm slipping through this fire.

My drag coefficient in that fire was great.

So yeah, that's, that's what they're doing.

But it means now that like, companies like

that are going to have to probably change the

design for, because China's such a big player

now in the automotive game.

I wonder what they're going to go for.

I wonder if they'll do like the recessed door

handles, like the, is it dukes that have it?

That rear door that has the door handles?

Oh, yeah.

All like McGands.

Well, you know, the Audi we had in Paris.

What's the RX8?

RX8 is you have to open the front door to get

the rear door.

I think that's not, that doesn't help.

That's actually worse when I got out.

We had one.

The Audi we had in Paris, we went to go to

the Fast and Furious thing.

It had just, it had like Al Coves.

You put your hand in it.

Oh, lovely.

Thank you.

I think we all go back to Tesla.

Well, every car will now have Tesla aside strikes.

What about like a, a 12C where you've got

like grips up the door?

Sort of like smooth it.

Oh, TVR.

Oh, TVR.

We should, let's go to, let's go to the wing mirror.

The wing mirror will now be the door handle.

But now, hold on.

Now, when we, this was back when we did the

Hot Wheels thing, the car throttle,

there was the iPhone.

That was a tough time.

We'll talk about that.

Yeah, it was tough, really.

But there was a max power Clio,

the one wrapped in snakeskin.

Yeah.

And that had a Ganondor mirror.

You'd pull a Ganondor mirror back as the door handle.

Cool.

Do that.

Yeah, I think although you go through with

the restriction too tight, it keeps you in the mirror.

Door opens.

I wouldn't have stuck it.

Yeah, you can't get out.

But no, I mean, I think I would assume

there's one on the inside.

We'd hope, which confuses me.

Because like Teslas, I know for a fact,

at least have a mechanical, they have a

mechanical thing that you pull,

which is the door handle if the electronic one fails.

And I'm like, well, doesn't matter,

does it?

Well, but then, but I wonder if it's like

firefighters trying to get in.

Can I just smash the window and open it from the inside?

That's fair.

No, I don't want to break the window.

Too fast if you're a star, but put your

bowels back on.

Think of resale values.

Recale values.

If you've had your windows on your burning car.

Yeah, exactly.

I'll make watch the windows.

I was toasted, but Jesus Christ,

it's got a smashed window.

Yeah, exactly.

I don't want to say any more.

No, that's fair.

But it means it's going to probably influence

a lot of lives.

You're not a band.

I'm a band.

I'm interested that that started in China.

That feels like a UK thing to go.

We don't.

That's not safe.

I thought you were going to say it was

because I don't know.

It would slice someone up or something.

No, it's just because the safety concerns getting out.

I like the, the Wojima call it,

like the Rolls Royce logo that retracted a

crash or whatever.

What is it?

Yeah, but that's the actual reason,

right?

Everyone always says it's the stuff people stealing it.

But it's actually, it's a safety thing.

Like it drops away when it detects crashes.

So just absolutely kneecap your man as you

sail over her in your race.

Well, just grating old people.

Only old people, though.

I'm fine.

Don't worry about me.

So quite susceptible to.

Sorry, a new car sold from 1st January,

2027 must have this and there's they've given the specs.

You must have a door handle that comes out by

60 by 20 by 25.

60 centimeters.

20 millimeters by 20 millimeters by 25.

And where was I reading that?

And also it now inside has to have very

clearly labeled handles.

You know, when you get a new car and you're

labeled handles.

You know, when you go like to say door

handle, you get a car and it goes,

no, you got a tickle, the head rest.

And then like when you're in there,

you go ask for a bloke called Steve and he'll

let you out.

Steve, can I get out?

Yeah.

No, now it's got to just have handle.

Okay.

They're going full American style.

They need that.

They're like, that's the door handle.

Guys, door handle.

like on the exit sign.

Is it closed?

What is it on the Hellcat where it has on the

fuel cap just as fuel?

Yeah.

And you go,

I know something's supposed to go in there.

I still it with

Ribena.

I know there's something I'm supposed to go in here.

Where do I put this?

Is it there?

Is it a fuel there?

It's liquid of some sort, but I don't know which.

Get the sun plug out.

I wanted to bring my coffee with me,

but I've just poured it in the fuel tank.

Then for no reason.

Where's the sun plug?

Yeah, get you some plug out.

Check the oil level.

Step oil joke.

Yeah, no, nice.

That's nice.

Redacted, isn't it?

Yeah, probably.

What have we got next?

The next one, I don't quite know how to word

this other than how it's written.

What's that?

It's Waymo Carcock.

Yeah.

Ben, you put that in.

We were talking yesterday about Waymo.

The podcast.

Not the podcast show.

Shout out the podcast.

Also, Waymo, the podcast, listen to this right now.

Yo, what?

Don't worry, mate.

How did you know?

Waymo, the autonomous taxis

16:56 Waymo Autonomous Taxis in London

in the US, have now come to London.

I found that out.

I had to will.

They're in London.

He went, yeah, cool.

I saw on that weekend.

And then what did you inform you?

So

legislation apparently UK for safety.

We can't have fully

autonomous cars.

So you can't just get in a robot taxi.

You have to have a man there to take over.

To watch the robot taxi to go.

But Ben, you had a interesting...

I said it.

I think you did.

I said it.

I think you did.

Ben, Ben, how do I get this off of me?

One of us said it.

All I said, it's a bit weird to pay a man to

sit in the car when he could just drive it.

So he's basically...

But they're testing.

They are testing.

You technically, if you're in the back of the

taxi, you're the one watching.

No?

No, because he's not actually driving it.

He's not driving it.

Yes, I guess it isn't.

So you both fall into that.

In fact, actually, what's an accurate,

accurate description of that is a normal taxi.

Not exactly.

You're just watching a man driving it.

He's not driving.

Hold on, hold on.

It's not your car.

So that...

Nobody is.

So maybe he is.

There you go.

So the driver is, you're in the back and he's

just watching you sit in the back of his car.

It's like...

Yeah, but no one's driving.

He's like, "I want to experience back seats

with my car, but I have to drive,

so I need someone else to pay me to sit in

the back of my car."

Do you know what I really love the idea of?

He's the idea that you go and get one of

these, but he's sitting in the back with you.

He's the...

He goes off course and you look at each other.

He goes, "I can't bear."

It's literally, if you're back here,

who's turning the car.

I want to know what the dynamic is in terms

of like, when you're in a cab or even an Uber

or whatever, you kind of know where you're at

either the driver, basically,

either you talk or you don't talk,

but he's not doing anything.

Can he just turn around and go?

He's just facing you at some point.

He goes, "Be busy today, mate."

He goes, "No, I've just been sitting there."

It feels pretty mean, because that person

will be, obviously, because they have to take

over, will be trained in some way drive a taxi,

right?

So in that case, you're literally saying to

write your tax driver here.

All right, sit in the car.

Do you think they are taxi drivers?

I don't think they are taxi drivers.

What are they?

I actually have a license.

No, but why would you waste a taxi driver on it?

Do you think they're just a person?

I think they're there to, they know the waymo

people, right?

They're like engineers or not engineers,

but they don't mean that they're doing,

okay, I've seen the problems here.

Do you know what I mean?

It's incredible.

Okay, let's become, there's a problem here.

So do you know what I mean?

He's like, if you had a taxi driver,

might be harder to...

No, I don't know.

What I think about it...

Why do you think there's a waste of a good taxi driver?

Why do you think if you've got a man in the

car, let him drive?

Yeah, also surely.

But then you won't get, if your business is

autonomous cars and then you go and put

people out there driving the cars,

where do you get your data from?

Where do you get your proof of like,

yes, this works.

You just attacked a company.

You speak to the taxi driver the other day.

So is that all smooth, like everything went fine?

A taxi driver goes, yeah, normal.

They go, great, we are knocking this out of the park.

They go, right, you don't need to come in tomorrow.

What?

Sorry?

What about my taxi?

It'll do it.

20:00 Cringe Car Ad Critique

It'll just carry out.

Your taxi will take you home.

Do I, who do I make small talk with?

Is it the car?

If you're like an AI that I talk to,

I go, you've been busy, mate.

He's talking to the dog car.

So I mean, the driver just looked dead ahead

and so many.

These need a door handle.

Great.

But do I talk to him?

Because he's not driving.

Do you have it?

It's, you have to talk to him and he'll talk

to the car for you.

So you have to ask him questions.

It's just, it's complicated.

Let's just get a taxi.

Also, they look ugly.

What, the taxi driver?

It's not fucking high.

That's good.

Horrible thing to say.

But they're all jagged.

F-E paces.

They're all, they've got these massive warts on them.

Yeah, they just look ugly.

They're just an eyesore.

It's horrible.

No, eyepace.

I'm not against the idea of

like the autonomous side of it.

Fine, whatever, but.

Are you not?

I don't, I don't want a computer to drive me around.

How's he gonna cut anyone up?

My brother was working in San Francisco

recently and he sent me a video.

He went in a way mode and he sent me a video

of him in it.

And it looked quite cool.

And he was going through the streets of San

Francisco and it was, I guess it's great.

It's a bit easier.

But he was just whipping about.

But if you've ever been in a cab,

particularly a black cab, Ubers are a little

bit more shaky.

Yeah.

But a black cab, if you've been on it,

it's not, it's not driving by the book.

No, exactly.

That's the best bit.

They're driving on the offensive that they

get angry at people that they're pushing

people out of the way they're running down pedestrians.

They're doing whatever is possible to get you

to your destination.

But will the computer do that?

No.

It's gonna do that.

If something cuts him up, a black cab,

it's gonna back down.

Yeah, it's gonna be in the back.

I'm so sorry.

But that's a great point because then it's

just gonna let if I walk out in front of it,

it has to stop me.

It has to have that algorithm of like protect human life.

Do you know what Ben?

Anyone that's listening to lives in London

will tell you that's how you that's how you

work out London.

Couple of months in London, you work out.

They'll stop.

He's got a walk.

Two, three years London.

What?

You just have to walk out.

Yeah, you just have to walk out.

No, that cab's famously do not stop.

No, they will run you down.

They'll end up they'll end up stopping.

Yeah, on top of you.

They're like, you know, in GTA.

They're not going to hit you.

If you're going through like an intersection,

it will accelerate into you to try and get you.

That's what they do.

Exactly.

They try and get as many people as possible.

Techno points.

Techno points are some of the boldest.

Yes, incredible.

And boldest.

And so the drivers, I think everyone London

is just like that.

But the pedestrians in particular,

you are the weakest thing here.

Yeah, but they don't.

You could die easily.

I'm a car.

I'm cool.

I might scratch a bumper.

I might smash your head off my windscreen.

My Rolls-Royce badge should drop before I eat you.

But maybe not.

But they just they just stroll across.

Yeah.

Not a thanks, not a glance.

Sometimes they might even look at you as venom.

Can I give some context to Americans?

Yeah.

We don't have Jay walking here.

You can just walk around.

Yeah, you can just walk around.

Where are you like?

Yeah, they're acrossings.

But they are crossing.

You don't use them.

But you can cross whatever you like.

The classic, I think, I can't remember if

we've talked about it before.

It's more for the more for the visual views

is you hit the full palm out hands.

So all five fingers kind of out as a fact.

This is like a really sarcastic.

Thank you.

All five fingers out.

I mean, you tell it to a sideways thumbs up

and you walk off.

It's the most annoying thing.

If you're a driver and you get that,

I got, I want to mount that curb.

So you know, when you're driving a car,

no.

Way more taxi drivers don't.

I've never

been able to actually do it myself.

I've got one day.

And so you know, this one's about to cross

and they start walking into the road.

So then when you pass them, you're like,

I don't know, a foot away from them,

but they get so close that you think you're

going to hit them.

Yeah.

That, wind me up.

Because you have to moderate your speed to

work out because they're calculating it.

Yeah.

So that's why you just slow it down.

It's walking inside you.

But that always infuriates me.

I'm like, just wait until I've come past and

then you can do the full cross.

I get it.

I probably do it as well.

But that's the thing.

It's the moment the, the moment that she is

on the other foot, I'm, I'll see a pedestrian walk.

I'm

like, you sheep.

And then I'll be a pedestrian.

I'm like,

you'll wait, idiot.

Stop.

Get out of my way.

I was close to the other silence.

That was very close.

Next from cucks to something I think was.

Okay.

Many podcasts ago, we spoke about an ad that we saw.

Oh, this is rough.

I could find it.

It was about somebody who was selling a jag.

I think it was actually two jags,

but they were speaking about it as if they were car.

They were speaking in the first person.

What was it?

There was, there was a brother and a sister

and the person said, Jenny, Jenny,

the jag.

Jenny, the jag.

And there's another one.

And they were saying, oh, Mike,

the cars got cancer, which was at rust and

they're saying it's not terminal and they're very sad.

It's got to go to a new owner.

Now, this one has been sent in by a man called Andy.

This was an advert from 996.

So we're on it like an enthusiasm.

gas type car.

I think it was a, we won't let,

we won't dox the man anymore.

So we are.

Try not to cringe.

I haven't seen this.

This is an auto trader advert.

Okay.

It says saved from the 27 club.

I don't know.

I would try.

I thought for a while.

27 club.

I think this could be wrong.

That's S club seven, but much older.

Yeah, fair.

It's the

thing about celebrities that a lot of them

diet 27 or something.

And it's like I meant to be some sort of

conspiracy theory about that.

So it's a little bit older than It's a

conspiracy theory that they are.

So they're soul or something.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

It says, I had a 12 month holiday waiting to be loved.

I was found and cleaned up needing some love

like all old ladies.

We're doing this.

No, we're in the first car.

I'm reading this.

I'm reading this.

Exactly.

I'm reading this word.

You for word.

You missed that in pop.

If can you read that?

Please never in front of me.

Please be silent.

Please never in front of me.

Please be silent.

Wait, I'm saying this is from the perspective

of the car.

It's literally as I read it.

Ben, that's for your interpretation.

This is GCSE English.

I'd like you to show your word.

So this is just a base of my opinion.

I'll start again.

Sorry.

Do not.

Saved from the 27 Club.

I had a 12 month holiday waiting to be loved.

I was found and cleaned up needing some love

like all old ladies.

What?

I believe I'm a mark one, but I could be wrong.

I've had three private plates,

but I didn't like any of them.

The new hood looks great in navy blue.

I really need a good service,

but I purr like a pussy cat.

I have a fully stamped book up until recently.

I even have a satin out along with a tracker

and a speed camera warning light,

possibly illegal.

My tip tronic works as a dream.

My IMS bearing has been replaced with

certificate, but for an old girl,

I bowl along holding pressure happily with

full oil pressure.

Now, I may be old, but a little scruffy with

a stunning silver metallic hardtop,

leather dashboard with my fully powered blue hood.

Check out my history.

It's a decent

amount for an old girl along with my MOT

until November 7th,

2026.

A few things this is...

I

really don't lock right, and a good service

would make me

feel less old.

Have you seen my rear wheel arches?

Now

these really do show age.

So...

yeah, that's it.

Okay.

Currently looking for a new man woman,

sorry, new man, women, to take me out and

enjoy me once again.

You're welcome to call and you're welcome to

call Blah Blah Blah for further intonation.

Not as you sure that's...

Well, they will read it back with the correct intonation.

I am.

It's just an audio variation.

You read that all wrong.

I know it's not that great, but

let me do it.

I am being driven daily.

Please feel free to

ask any questions as these will highlight answers.

I have missed for an old lady looking for a new man.

But then this last line, just go straight

back to Carrad.

It goes 9K firm, but could look at a part

change for the right van, building up towards

that asking price.

That's at the end of a dating profile.

All that's left of them.

9K firm.

That's bad.

It's nothing.

It's nothing.

It's nothing.

One day, I heaved meaning that.

That is horrible.

Also, any question?

Feel free to ask.

Yeah, I got one.

What's wrong with you?

What sort of register is it that you're on?

How far do you live from a school?

I think it's a while.

Well, legally, it's tough.

That is all right.

And also, I think it's a 996 tiptronic cab.

I mean, that makes sense.

It says all you need to know.

It says all you need to know.

It says all you need to know.

Like it's a real, real pedo car.

Correter, probably.

You have to look into people like this,

though.

You have to.

That's just, it's just a...

But you know what it is?

It comes down, we've talked about it before.

Personifying cars.

Just let them be cars.

Ish, please let them be cars.

He's an object.

Imagine you did it about other things,

like your toaster.

She's an old girl, but you know,

these days she still goes on.

She's looking for a new man,

this one.

What are you talking about?

I had to change out the light on Moira the Microwave.

You don't hear people do it about their house.

No, no one's also like a house.

People love their houses.

Exactly.

People do it as just Jeffrey,

my house.

Oh, not Jeffrey.

That's not.

Oh, shit.

Jeffrey, the house.

It's like an islander, isn't it?

That's actually speechless.

So if you ever see any more of those,

it's always an entertaining read.

So PSN them over.

Don't dox people, don't even know people.

All we want to do is laugh at them without them knowing.

As we say, a kind and considerate creamer

does not go and abuse and harass people.

No, we do that.

We laugh about them online.

Not two of them, though.

No.

Well, we've got next up.

We have, or let's talk about perish.

Okay.

It's the word of the day.

It's the word of the day.

of perish.

We got this here.

And I want to.

What was it?

30:14 Word of the Day - Perish

Anguish one.

I came up with.

No, no, no.

No, that was the

word you sent me.

No, it was, it was malice.

Okay.

Right.

Okay.

Apologies.

Apologies.

This is a long time running inside Joe.

And also, this is nowhere near as funny as

what we're going to talk about.

For audio viewers, I have put on the screen

Don Cheadle's Word of the Day,

which is a meme.

You will see it on Instagram.

I apologize if you're not as internet bound

as we are.

But Ben and I send memes to each other back and forth.

And one of the ones that we found found very funny.

So I said, Ben, Don Cheadle's Word of the Day,

Malice.

And we then, over the next course of a few

weeks, tried to integrate Malice with random

members of the public.

If we're ordering food somewhere.

What's the word?

I'll go Malice and he'll put Malice in there.

It's quite tough to listen to.

Right.

But so I just thought this would be a nice

visual aid for the Word of the Week,

which is perish.

For context, though, we did this as a joke.

We said, Don Cheadle's Word of the Day,

Anguish, as a joke, which is off the top of it.

And now you found it.

That was the second Google world for Don

Cheadle's Word of the Day.

Equidus, I know we're actual clowns sometimes.

We talked previously about words that are

only used with cars.

Shod being one of them.

Perish.

Nothing perishes other than perhaps a banana.

Even then, it's a bit weird to say this.

It's gone off.

It's gone off.

You don't say all my toys have gone off.

No, but perished is a car word.

You say this this this heater line has perished.

It's perished.

Or if you're an ancient Greek,

you might wish someone to perish.

Exactly.

But you're not now.

You don't even die.

Yeah.

Like my bushes have perished.

They're dead.

Bloody hell.

I didn't hear about that.

But that's another car word.

Why do we only use that for car?

Nothing gets you.

It's only.

That's just a.

Why is that?

We said shod in perished tires.

Shod in perished tires.

Shod in perished tires.

We might need to see if we can build a full

sentence of car-rosy word.

I don't think so.

It's like you're looking up and Don Cheadle

stares into my soul with the word English.

Apologies.

Really good.

The more you say perish it does become.

What is perish?

So anybody.

Why is perish?

As we said before, any other car words,

car only words last night.

Don't say my wheels don't.

Missionally.

Don't cheat laws.

Okay.

Let's

move on swiftly before we lose the entirety

of the podcast.

Fallout seats.

Here we go.

This is a great conversation we had.

This is a great, great, great conversation.

And it actually slightly ruined the program from it.

Oh, yeah.

So the fallout is based on that.

If you haven't seen the finale,

I haven't either.

So I'm not going to spoil anything.

There will be no spoilers.

There will be no spoilers.

I won't even say an episode.

Okay.

Oh, they've been well been just at the finale.

You stupid.

What is the finale?

But what the context of it is full,

full.

Anyway, but in some capacity,

there is this seat.

So there is in there is, it's like a cryo

chamber where no, no, no, it's not ruining it.

Just let me explain.

No, it's not.

There's a cryo chamber where they store people.

You see this from like episode one.

Yeah, true.

And basically inside those chambers,

there is a seat where the human is stored.

But I was watching it.

And this was quite at this point.

It was quite an emotional scene.

It was like, there's all building up to it

and the scene opened.

I looked at it.

I was like, that's a drag racing scene.

Like unchanged, but completely unchanged.

And it turns out that is a, that is a curky.

And Will was, yeah, Will was explaining this

before for me to pull up the photo.

And he said, you know, like those drag racing seats.

I said, yeah, like a curky pulled up a photo.

And he went, no, that's the seat.

That's the exact seat.

That is unchanged.

Just a curky seat.

And I googled it.

And then a little, there wasn't many results,

but there was a Reddit thread where someone

said they confirmed they just used a very

specific curky seat.

But again, there's no change to that.

No, no change at all.

They just, they just bought the seat and

bolted it to the set.

They might have just taken off 'cause usually

on the, on the head top, it will say curky.

So they might have just taken off the sticker.

Yeah.

And that's it.

But you're not, also, not the most

comfortable thing I'd want to be frozen for

like two years ago.

You don't know about the fact you're frozen,

do you?

Yeah, but you don't want to wake up.

You don't want to get up with a bad back,

do you?

You might.

I have that.

You really, at least want like a,

what would be the best seat to be frozen in?

Or like a BMW comfort seat?

But leather, a leather's a little bit of a.

Oh, joy is a heated cloth.

A clove seat.

A massage seat.

That's probably it.

No, not massage seat.

Why not?

They're stupid.

Move me about a bit.

They're stupid.

Keep the, keep the blood flowing.

I was tired that recently, they're stupid.

What, massage seats in cars?

Right, hold.

The stupid.

They just keep me hurt.

No.

Is it 'cause you sit in the back all the time?

So, Will, you've been driving my dad's L405,

which has my husband.

Broken.

So has massage seats.

Which has massage seats.

Well, yeah.

I sat in the passenger seat.

I've called shop run a couple of times.

Absolutely wonderful.

Yeah.

Heated.

Mass.

Again.

Well, I think what Ben was expecting was an

actual masseuse.

Just to come out and start shopping at the

back and then I'd turn him over,

put some hot stones on his stomach.

Ben wants to be on the way down the A-34 in here.

Is that pressure all right?

Is that okay?

He's just got off.

There's a sleep.

No, I haven't.

Well, I smoke fills the air.

He's in the hailing, all the sudden,

you can't end the oil.

I'm 90 years old.

I didn't have back problems.

That might be part of it.

But it makes me hurt.

It makes me ache.

No, I felt the other way around it.

It feels like a cold, gentle afternoon.

Stiff-old bastard.

That would make sense.

That's kind of around about the same time.

It feels like when I get out of the car,

I'm in a cold, genuine afternoon.

Yeah, that's exactly where you are.

Yeah, that's true.

I think it's unnecessary.

I don't think it's stupid.

But that's Fallout.

And Fallout, if you haven't watched it,

go watch it.

Okay.

It's a great show.

We're just about bending a little bit of plugging for...

Nah, I don't need it.

You can find it on Amazon Prime.

Hang on, you watched it.

It's fantastic.

36:00 Golf GTI's Future in Petrol Form

I need to write a spoiler alert.

You made the spoiler then.

You actually sport that with the context.

Share that.

Ben.

Hi.

You put this in there.

Probably.

Petrol Golf GTI is here to stay.

What does that mean?

Does that mean that the Petrol Golf GTI is

here to stay?

That's the one.

Does that move on?

Now wait, what do you mean?

Because all GTI is a petrol,

are they not?

Yes, but after this generation,

the Mark 8, there was rumors that they were

going to scrap it and go electric.

So GTI nameplate would be an electric.

Because they make a GTE, right?

Well, don't you think they'd do any more?

But that's a hybrid.

They did.

They had the GTI, which was your classic,

your petrol engine.

You're meeting two, you know,

it's your car.

Yeah, GTD.

Great daily.

Which is a diesel version of that.

In golf.

Yeah, e-golf is full electric.

E-golf is just electric.

Or golfy.

Yeah, whatever it is.

I'll get that son.

GTD, which was basically just too little

diesel, but it's sportier setup.

Like really cool guys driving them.

Great dailies to commute from Bristol to Red.

They start up really quickly.

Sometimes Crank for about three seconds,

for a new battery.

Yeah, it's the correct cranking amps.

No, yeah.

And they had the GTE, which I think was the

hybrid one to it to be, but I mean a sporty,

just a sporty car with more weight,

but fine.

So they were saying after generation,

we're electric.

The golf is electric.

Or it's replaced with electric version and

there'll be a GTI variant.

But much like most car makers,

they're realizing that's idiotic.

And therefore it may not be the end.

The thing is, well, I was going to say golf

golf people probably would embrace it.

GTIs aren't necessarily bought by just car people.

Normal people by GTIs, they just like the sporty version.

It's like, oh, it's an exciting golf.

But now if I think about it,

the people I see drive market GTIs are younger.

They're not in their 30s or 40s,

like I usually expect them to be.

So maybe they wouldn't buy an electric one.

Maybe they go, can't remap that.

Again, surely if there was an,

here's a petrol one, but do you want to buy

an electric one?

I'd be interested in making so well.

I wonder if they've

done that before.

Yeah.

They should probably just stop selling.

Or an ETI.

You know what kind of like that.

What did you test them for?

Grand Touring injection.

No, wait, you did a video this many times ago.

This is really frustrating.

Also, wasn't the first use of street chiano.

No, there's a matter of interaction.

What does it stand for?

It meant something different in the matter of the thing.

What's there been searched?

I'll just quickly explain.

So we've got here.

It's actually quite horrible.

So it'll be electric touring injection.

Well, I think that's the same thing.

Joy should be GTEI, which is the Grand

Touring Electric injection.

It's the Nelly Edition.

Ben has no idea what we're doing.

No, no, no, no.

Sebastian Wilman, the man in charge of

chassis development.

Andy Wilman's brother.

Possibly.

Yeah, we'll

have to get Andy Wilman on the podcast.

They'll still be, we'll still be using the EA888.

Lovely to hear that.

And I was still calling, I'm sure.

Of course.

But they can update it to Euro 7 standards.

Okay.

And then it's going to be in the new ones.

So that tuners can go, let's get to that.

So they can go into detail.

How much dust is your brakes making?

No, off the road.

More money.

So, okay, so that's Golf GTI saved another

one that was potentially slated for electricism.

But it's not.

While we're on Euro 7.

Sorry, what was that?

While we're on Euro 7.

I was passing a spell.

We're on the Euro 7.

Can't I have a DM earlier?

Okay.

He's fresh off the press.

I'm going to pull it out.

Whoa, and then sorry.

What about the DM?

He's heads my DMs.

Oh, great.

We'll wait for you to open up the DM.

He's scrolling through all the messages here.

We have a DM from Andy Norgate.

This was only about an hour and a half ago.

This came through.

I just saw it.

Basically, he works for a company.

I won't say who, he did say,

but Volkswagen.

No, he's a company that tests vehicles.

And so essentially they have,

because the question we asked last week was

that, how would they actually test all of the

Euro 7 emissions, tire wear?

Yes, of course.

The whole point is everything that comes with a car.

He basically said to me, I'll paraphrase

because I don't want to dox the company,

whatever.

Essentially, there's a big old dyno,

and they test the car on there,

and it sucks up everything.

It all sucks it up.

And then it works out what's coming off the

car, and that includes-- That makes sense.

That includes brake particles,

tire particles, normal emissions,

fuel vapors, leaks for the tank and the cap.

Yeah, what if they fart?

They're thinking to ring that?

I guess it would.

We're getting a strange reading,

folks.

My brake machine.

That's

how Volkswagen is trying to work out to do

their diesel gate on this.

OK, hold on, hold on.

Have we tried to men farting?

Have we tried shooting yourself?

Fine, really.

God, this is a big delirious podcast.

Apologies.

But yeah, that's

how they're doing it.

So we ask the question how they're doing it,

and that's what they do.

They suck it all up, and they go,

right, this is--

I just gobbled it out.

Oh, God.

Sorry.

This is stuff like

vapor from the fuel tank lines,

that sort of thing.

Well, just so that sounds a bit silly to me.

Do they-- How would they-- Do they make it

like a vacuum first?

They're going to separate it out like bin men.

No, but how do you make

sure that it's not already in there?

How do you suck it out?

No, no, no, no.

How do you make sure that the room is not

contaminated?

I'll get something beforehand.

Well, how do you-- Well, I assume they clean it.

What do you mean?

No.

They'll put the sauerkra on and go clean.

Yeah.

But there's got to be-- If it's in the air,

there has to be contaminants in the air.

Well, maybe there's like a--

You're pumping in pure air?

Maybe it's-- So there's like a calculation to

do it to adjust for that anomaly.

Or perhaps they have a man that scrubs it.

Yeah, maybe.

I guess he doesn't-- He doesn't breathe in there.

They go, I don't think running.

I love this is a fart.

It's fine.

Yeah.

Don't see.

Do not do that again.

It's like gravity in there.

It's like that.

He goes in there.

It's like a vacuum.

He just goes, "Pfft."

Yeah.

He's done.

He just collapses.

There's so much pressure in there.

He gets spaghetti-fied.

Yeah.

Well, I guess they thought of that.

Well, I came here for answers,

Ben, and you said you have them today.

All right.

You know what?

We don't have these properties.

And the ending all gate, can you mesh me

again and find that out, please?

I want to know.

42:19 Heated Seat Belts and Euro 7 Emissions Testing

I'll let you know.

You could reply to him.

You could, yeah.

Ben doesn't do that.

Ben's too famous for that.

Yeah.

What we got next is a manager sent one through.

Back on some car tech stuff.

We spoke about the new S class.

Yes.

Surface level.

We talked about the way it looks.

Why didn't realize is there some cool things?

And now they're calling it like a

supercomputer on wheels.

And there's probably loads of other cool stuff.

But the thing that stood out to me is that

it's got heated seat belts.

This is cool.

Heated seat belts, not only heated seat belts.

So obviously we've seen heated steering wheels.

We've seen heated seats.

And now we have heated seat belts,

which is kind of wild.

I'd love to be part of the people who have to

come up with the new technology for the S class.

Because they're always at the leading edge of technology.

So heated sat-nav screen.

We try that in the car.

Counter, underfloor heating.

You could go barefoot in the car.

I

would.

I'd go socks.

No, I'd go socks.

Not barefoot.

Then what's your addition to the 2028 S class?

What is your addition for Mercedes?

A massage thing that's actually good.

A masseuse.

It's a smaller seat that is underneath your

seat that someone sits in and then they give

you an actual massage.

So you want to sit on someone's lap?

No, you're separate.

You're actually on the chose lap.

I guess you're getting close to that.

But we're just not blurring lines here.

It's just a little AI robot.

Yeah.

That worries me.

What?

Because I heated seat.

If it gets to it or it malfunctions and it

sets me on fire, I can just get out.

Whereas the seat belt, if that's what my

point was going to be, I've never,

ever heard of a seat ever heated seat malfunctioning.

Of course, you're going to be able to find

one on Google that some American is.

I don't think you will.

Yeah.

hot.

No, I think they have like fail safes and things.

I'm sure it's happened where they've set fire

to a seat.

But I also don't think it's going to be an instant blaze.

It's not going to be like pouring a can of

petrol onto a fire.

It's just going to be, that's a bit hot.

You know, worth, I've just douse myself in petrol.

Don't do that.

Yeah.

That's not going to.

That's my choice.

That, will it?

No, yeah.

Again, you'd have to be hundreds of degrees

for that to go.

It's going to have to introduce a spark or something.

Yeah.

I've got the sparking heated seats friction.

I was like, cloth seats, you brushed through

the seat, you make a bit of friction,

you used to go up in flames.

What would yours be heated seat?

I would like, because, well,

basically,

this, as I did, I heated seat belts,

heated armrest in the door, and I heated center armrests.

I like that.

Your

elbows are absolutely toasty.

But what else, what else

would be, maybe like a heated,

the headrest, if you went as high up as that,

you could, so only the headrest would be heated.

That's yours.

Mine would be, you know how there's,

like, what would you call it?

Adaptive, or no, no, it would be,

you don't have a sunrooves on McLarens,

changed with the sun.

They have, like, they become like sunglasses,

right?

I would have it be that the headliner reacts

to the weather outside.

It's when it rains, the headliner rains.

Makes you feel more like you're outside.

That's fair.

If it's a sunny day, just, just sets your

hair on fire.

It just like scorches, it bakes you.

Yeah, like that.

'Cause, you know, cars are getting disconnected.

Yeah, you're all connected to that.

What else is there to heat?

knob.

Oh, yeah.

Gated gear knob.

I mean,

your S2000 could do with that.

Oh, God.

But also the cold morning.

But that's cold for summer.

Oh, that'd be kind of cool.

Heated and cooled, knob.

Do you know what?

Shoes, they plug into your shoes.

It cools your shoes.

Like, you know, moped riders when they put

their hands on it.

That, but I'm a steering wheel.

Actually, you're going to get some.

You might not notice, not a lot of people do.

I'm joking, it's very stupid.

You know you can aim the heat or your feet?

Yes.

I noticed that recently.

I've never used it before.

Okay.

Genuinely, in my 1000.

Do you know what?

My feet, 'cause I so far down,

in the car, what?

They work by the pedals, it's crazy.

In the S2000, they go down a tunnel,

so your toes get really chilly.

I was put in the heated, I think,

on my feet, and my feet

were sweating.

It was great.

It was great, isn't it?

No.

I actually bet you there's going to be more

people than you think of the clients going,

"Have they ever really done it before?"

On a cold day, try it.

You really toast you up.

Those dogs, they get hot.

They do get hot, and the person who tries to

buy my shoes the other day, that's...

Would you like to talk about that?

Someone asked me about my shoes.

I hope you know what, I was not expecting Ben

to want to talk about this.

No, I'm sure.

Did like that, please don't do that again,

thanks.

Anyway, you've just ruined it.

Everyone's going to be messaging about that.

Yeah, but it's not funny if you don't know.

How much would tempt you?

Basically, a man messaged Ben asking by his shoes.

Quite innocently.

He said, "I like those shoes,

I want to buy them."

Okay, those shoes.

Yeah, but here's the thing, Ben,

those shoes are available in store.

They're very common shoes.

Right, and they're not even fancy pair of shoes.

They're not ridiculously sensitive.

So there's ulterior emotives.

Maybe not, maybe you just did like the shoes

and you thought, "Where'd you get them from?"

But why not?

Why are your shoes?

I'm not, look, none of us have got shoes in

great condition.

If someone ever asked to buy my shoes,

I know that they're not doing it for innocent

reasons, 'cause these two minutes in to

buying my shoes, sorry, two minutes in to me

buying shoes, are written off,

they're done.

You could wear NASA space boots in this unit

and they would fall apart.

These shoes are falling apart with you.

I bet you that's space boots are quite delicate.

Probably, yeah.

'Cause they don't have to go on,

they don't have too much.

They're not meant for hiking and stuff.

Yeah, okay, but anyway, that's so...

God, we're out of time.

I'm sure it was innocent, whoever it was,

but...

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

But actually, I thought...

I said that guys listening going,

"I don't want to buy shoes, man."

I screenshot innocent to our group chat and I

said to them, but I said, with the angle of

sort of like, "Why would you want my shoes?"

Like, they're kind of falling apart and these

guys went well.

Yikes.

I said, "You know what, get money."

Nine, nine, six, man.

He wants your shoes.

No, he's sniffing shoes, big guy.

He's got racks of shoes that aren't his.

Ben has just asked me to please open up a

photo and here you go.

A smart car.

A smart car.

Just prune my points earlier.

And then we've got, "Wow, okay,

yeah, you know what, Ben?"

Fine.

I'll give it to you on this one.

Tell me what we're looking at.

For those listening, a seat that's been on

fire and melted.

That's apparently from a heated seat malfunctioning.

Now confirmed.

Right, well, let me--

I don't know, I think--

I don't want to apparently.

Well, let me read it for you.

I wasn't there.

Hello, I'm Diane.

Okay, I'm good with it.

I had a horrifying experience when it caught fire.

Fortunately, I wasn't in it.

I was shopping and came out to find the

inside totally destroyed.

The fire started in the driver's seat heater

in the backrest.

Seemingly, it did not disengage when the car

was turned off.

The fire smothered itself out because the

windows were closed, but not before

everything was melted and dripping from plastic inside.

The windows were blackened with a soot.

The insurance gave me very little for my

beautiful car, not enough to replace it.

Now, fine, but at the same time,

that's like a big-time malfunction.

You would notice, you would notice it would

start getting hot and then you'd leave your car.

Well, here seats do that.

What?

They get hot.

Yeah, but however semi-heated seat and go,

oh God, this is getting hot.

Yeah, hold on, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Something's right here.

Something's right here.

I beg out of it.

But imagine that and then you have a seat

belt, which is awesome.

So hot, you're getting cooked like a,

Do you know you can un-

Sausage.

You can take them off.

What I think malfunctions?

The belt buckle.

I'm not saying it's gonna necessarily happen,

but it could.

Okay, have you got a vendetta against heated

armrests, is that bad?

Is that a thing?

Yeah, that's what they're gonna say.

Yeah, it says heated armrests and center armrests.

On that S-class.

Yeah, it would be good.

Okay, that's fine, that's cool.

Yeah, because I'm not, I'm not doing a texture.

Yeah, Elbow's free to burn.

No, 'cause I can move my elbow away from it,

whereas the seat.

Oh, you can't get out of seat.

It's the buckle malfunctions,

and then the one thing--

Why have you made door handles malfunctions,

and I'm frazzled to death, sort of,

home alone style.

(all laughing)

There's a bloke torch just outside the door

handle, it's getting too hot to touch.

That is a thing, heated exterior door handles

is the thing, but we're asked.

What have we got next?

Okay.

We've got, I put in here, Audi versus Lancey,

Audi, Audi versus Lancey film,

which, that's one of the posters,

but how it's kind of advertised at the moment

on Amazon, is it's an exact rip-off of full

versus Ferrari.

Right.

Well, I'm on 66.

It's just a complete rip-off,

like the font, everything.

I thought, you know what, it is a cool story.

The documentary style thing that was on the

Grand Tour was really, really cool,

where they go into the sort of cheating element.

What's the cliff notes for people who don't know?

Is that it's about Lancey as a bit of an

underdog beat Audi in rallying,

even though they had a real drive car.

Audi came out with four-wheel drive and

basically absolutely dominated everyone.

It wasn't really a thing at the time,

but despite that, Lancey...

They interpreted things differently.

51:08 Audi vs. Lancia Film Review

They were Italian, you might say.

Yeah.

And went in there with a real-wheel drive car

that was 37.

But it's so annoying because the story is

really, really cool.

There's lots of really cool elements to it.

I started watching it and it is the most

boring film on Earth.

Now, why is it boring?

Did they not have the cars for long enough?

Not even that.

Some of the car bits, too car-y.

Oh, interesting.

But they're not in a good way.

Why am I still watching this car go around a track?

Now, things like the noise accurate.

It's really, really good.

They use like when they show the Quattro that

it's good noises.

It's really quite pleasant.

Then they do the Earth 37 and that's the correct noises.

But the film is just so flat and boring.

You would have to be so invested in the

story, which I was and I turned it off after

about 40 minutes.

Really?

Like the main characters or like the...

Because it's the type from Rush,

Cesare, as you do.

Like it's just so boring.

Right.

I'm no actor.

I'm not here to do film reviews,

but it's so deadly dull.

Wow.

If you watch it, just everything is so...

It could be such an exciting story with lots

of little elements here and there.

That's the thing that I think we've talked

about before, that Ford versus Ferrari is so

good at, is that car people watch it and go,

"This is great."

I watched it the other week with my

girlfriend, her friends, who have zero,

like less than zero interest in cars.

They were like, "This is a great film."

Yeah.

"This is a great film."

Fantastic film.

But that, it could have been so good and

like, there were characters,

I'm like, "Was that?"

They meet Walter Roll, and I'm like,

"Was that?"

It's just so odd, it's almost,

I know it's on a slight budget compared to,

but there's still some relatively big actors in there.

Yeah.

So yeah, I was just baffled,

'cause it's such a cool story.

Also, although did learn from it,

how white it's called, "No 37."

But I always thought, "That is a math name."

Yeah.

For an Italian car and it was,

well, in the film anyway.

Roll comes and test the car at the bath test

track, despite saying you didn't really want

to, turns up, smashes, like it's like a top

gun type reveal.

The other driver goes and goes,

"Yeah, he's doing the right time."

Then they hear this car noise and they look

out and he's out there.

But then the driving scene looks so flat and

dark, boring.

But he basically sets a lap record,

which is an O37.

Okay.

Which is why it's called, "No 36."

Has that ever been beaten?

I'm assuming, I think possibly.

So why aren't the next three of them?

It's the O22.

This is the ONO.

Did you watch the whole thing?

No, I'm confused.

I thought, do you know what?

I just watched the Grand Tour thing again,

which is like 20 minutes long and summarizes

most of it.

But there are tiny little details.

What?

The Grand Tour thing?

The Grand Tour did it.

They talked about how they cheated and how

they would send people out on the course to

like melt some of the ice and whatever else,

'cause they knew their car was quicker on tarmac.

But obviously it's not all tarmac.

And also Walter Rawls said, "I'll drive for

you, but I'm only doing five or six of them.

"I'm only doing the ones I like.

"I don't like the ones with jumps "to do the

good ones basically."

So they had to make sure he was there winning

on those to sort of make up for the when he

wasn't there and the ones that the Quattro

was just gonna win.

But they did logic.

It's a great story.

It's a great story, yeah, to listen to on the

Grand Tour thing.

I was actually kind of, I had this in the

back of my mind as like a thing to watch.

I probably won't know.

Maybe I will.

I'd give it half an hour.

I bet you're bored.

I bet you're bored.

It doesn't give you enough to even knowing what's coming.

The execute is so poorly that you go,

I don't care about what's coming because

you're not gonna do it well.

You know, there's so many little bit like the

thing, I don't even know if it's in the film,

but the thing with the roll cage,

they were suspected that they probably

weren't roll cages, either plastic or

cardboard or very, very thin metal,

just so they could keep the weight all the way down.

But that car was basically a death trap.

Yeah, you're done.

Yeah, 'cause there's videos of it rolled and

the roof is caved in.

It's like, of pictures even.

So yeah, really annoying.

There needs to be more good car movies 'cause

there's good car stores

There's some crazy--

There's some crazy mess up though.

One day there's got to be a 40-R.A.

I've talked about it before,

40-R.A.

We know the guy that it actually happened to,

I'm speaking to him, I did a load of research

for it at

Carthrel.

Just before we left, I had in the works a 40

to 50-minute, kind of Netflix-style

documentary about what actually happened with that car.

But obviously that never came to fruition.

Someone could do a nice Netflix-style story on that.

We could do it.

The Lamborghini movie, that's a cool story.

The whole Lamborghini Ferrari thing and the

rivalry and how Lamborghini came to be,

that is a cool story and they messed it up big time.

That film is horrendous.

Why do they only choose things where it's

something versus something?

Yes, that's all they

can do.

We'd love to do a Porsche one,

but I don't know who

we do it against.

True story, but it does take the good

elements of the story.

I mean, if you're like a super F1 nerd,

maybe you pick holes in it, but I thought it

was basically Top Gun, but F1.

Top F1, there's so many bad car movies,

but there are good stories.

If you are a director, you're listening to

this, then make better things.

What have we got?

I think we've got one more thing.

Some royalty.

Some royalty.

This is an

56:25 Audi A6 All-Road Owned by King Charles

Audi Aesic Coro.

It's something that I really wanted.

It actually has the halogen headlights.

Yeah, this is for audio listeners.

An Audi A6 all-road in quite a nice color in

the generational, I'm just C7,

but it was owned by King Charles.

There are photos of what such of him driving it around.

What confused me is that when I saw that,

I thought that's generic A6 all-road.

When I think of an A6 all-road,

I'm thinking of that kind of gray,

blue, silver, that kind of thing.

Apparently, that's a one-off color.

It's a special edition color only for the royal family.

It just looks like a normal gray.

Also, I looked on the interior.

It's gray on the interior.

Now, I'm going to read this is because it's

now straight into royalty.

Normal newspapers are like picking this on

the line, which means the car knowledge is always rough.

So, I'm going to see if we've got any nice

things to talk about here.

I like this here.

Straightaway, first paragraph.

A rare piece of royal metering history is up

for grabs as an Audi estate car.

Formerly earned banking Charles is heading to auction.

Great.

Actually, to be fair, I'm willing on that.

If you don't know, it's just an estate car.

Don't be like all estate, the A4 normal,

just to say you don't know.

It says it's a 3D to TDI.

So now there is a 3D to TDI,

and there's the by-turbo TDI,

which is a cool one.

I'm hoping that he at least got the by-turbo.

But we're saying that it's expected to fetch

between 20 and 30,000 pounds.

Which is very expensive.

Which is very expensive.

For one of those, it's in special order,

Audi exclusive commissioned solely for

Charles, which looks understated at first glance.

But the finish is instantly recognizable.

with the vehicles used by the Royal Family.

Oh, that's quite cool.

During its time and service,

discrete lights were fitted within the grille

and later removed as it was decommissioned in

October 2016.

And there is a photo with the lights in the front.

But why is the king whipping about with lights?

That's, you know what?

Just on the motorway?

Get out of my.

That's Ben.

Do you know how fast you're going?

You blocked his Royal Highness.

Don't.

That's a crazy one.

I don't want to survive.

What color?

You blocked the king.

What color were the lights?

King blocker.

You know, I agree.

Yeah, I agree.

We have to ask him his Royal Highness.

You know what?

There is actually.

When you go in the podcast.

Exactly.

We have to ask him about it.

We, there is something to talk about because

I forgot about this.

There was, we talked about my want,

my infernal want for a Black Ranger of a classic.

Still, it's only black.

There was a car that came up.

It was found, found in a garage from a

deceased estate or sort of something like that.

It was a S-E, which is a long wheelbase,

which I'm not the biggest fan of,

but it's kind of the most sort after it was

the final version, the one that you kind of wanted.

There you go.

There's a photo of it.

The car had 700 miles on it,

I think.

747-150 miles.

And at the moment, I saw it.

I was like, that's going to go for bread.

A good LSE anyway.

It's 10-15 grand.

Well, a lower end LSE.

A really nice one's 20 to 30.

This has got 750 miles, which is a lot of

people sent it to me.

I'm like, they should be done this.

How much did it sell for Ben?

It's ballooned black after all.

So I should, you know, be buying the car.

I don't actually look that.

No, it is a restoration product,

but 750 miles in the clock.

How much did it sell for?

20.

Well, nine grand.

120,000 pounds.

But it's actually not good to have that

little mic on it.

It is for a collector.

But it is the one thing, and I don't know if

this photo, I can't, the photo was there from

before when they'd taken it out.

There was a photo of underneath it,

and it was literally a brand new car.

Like it was new.

That's fair.

Like it needs recommissioning,

but it's not gonna need rust repair.

What that is is like a museum piece.

That should go to Gaiden, that should go and

sit in the inheritance collection.

But yeah, shout out for setting that over.

I didn't end up winning it unfortunately.

How would you go to 110?

Nothing I didn't try.

It's interesting.

That 700 miles, what happened?

Someone just did like, brand new car.

Even on the breaking in miles or whatever,

and someone just goes, oh, I'll just put it away.

The other thing I was thinking about with

that is that when you buy a car like that,

it doesn't have zero miles on the clock.

The factory will put miles on it in A,

in transporting it, but B, in checking that

the engine works and that sort of stuff,

they'll put it on the dyno, they'll do all

that sort of stuff.

So it'll have 50, 100 miles on it when you

get it brand brand new.

So you've done like 600 miles.

What?

But at the same time, 600 miles is nothing,

but it's also enough that you did things with it.

Yeah.

Like you used it for a couple of weeks.

600 miles isn't going to town back once.

You got used to the car and then went,

nah.

Sort of like one day to work for Ben.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

I think you're up to work in that car.

It's probably a week trying to work in that car.

Yeah.

And I'll put it away forever.

Now, I have a thought on this.

Yeah.

Why would the factory, when they're doing the

testing, not reset your odometer when you get to them?

I think so.

Because when they're nice, if you get zero miles,

right?

No.

I think a lot of times, it was at 50.

will have some miles on it, which is which is

interesting.

Because I think I used to think the same.

It doesn't count, though.

It should be that the moment I the moment I

take delivery of the car brand new,

it should have zero on it.

Because the cars, the cars in the Brunei

collection, they weren't driven.

Well, a lot of them were, a lot of them were

never driven.

They still have 50, 100 miles on them from

being transported or tested before.

Yeah, I want zero.

But they just do the testing.

I don't know.

50 mile testing fine.

Because imagine that zero mile car hasn't,

it hasn't even moved.

fact that there has been, well,

I guess there would be, it's not a mile on a

rotation of a wheel, but it's,

it's not really moved ever.

Imagine that.

It goes and sits in the garage at zero.

Right.

Can I take photos of it and roll it out?

No.

It's got no miles on it.

If you roll it forward, it's going to have

0.1 on it.

You've got to put it on a pallet and roll it forward.

I think you can hover it forwards.

But that would be, I don't know why they

didn't do that.

Now, is anyone doing that now?

Do you think there's just a brand spanking

new Range Rover, someone's done 800 miles in

it and just whacked it in a garage?

Potentially.

There's got to be some of them somewhere on

it or a Kea Niro.

So, there was that E60, wasn't there?

We found...

Yeah, we had 2000 miles in it.

2000 miles in it.

It was just a 320i.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

An SE, like nothing fancy in some work on.

Right.

I just want to know why.

I just want to know why.

So the 1994 Car was unearthed from the rule

of home in Essex.

It was found 700 miles in the clock,

having been taken off the road by its one and

only owner in 1996.

So it was already...

Two years old, you went, "Ah,

that's it."

I've had enough of the range,

you know?

Away it can go.

That's not a lot of miles in two years though.

No.

I mean, most cars would be 10,

20, 30,000 miles by that point.

Yeah.

Maybe it's the...

I take this car to the end of the drive.

Yeah, that's what I used to get.

Yeah, that's what I used to get.

The bins.

There's a bin.

There's dog car.

I go and collect the dogs from wherever.

The other thing Ben would do.

Yeah.

Big, big, money bet.

I don't have a dog.

Dedicated bin car.

Exactly.

It's even more crazy.

You've got a car just to go have a dog that

you don't even know.

Yeah.

Do we have a forum to end on?

We do have a forum.

You need to read it or what did you like to read it?

You can read it.

Oh, wow.

I'll ferry it.

I didn't know we had a forum.

No, no, I'll just do it.

It's fine.

Okay.

No, that's fine.

I'll do it.

I'll do it.

Hello, Creamers.

This is from, I can read it from Diane.

It's from, you know what, I'm not even gonna

say it, I'm gonna spell it.

K-I-A-M, Keon.

I have said it.

L-H-Y-U.

Keon-Loo.

1:03:50 Forum Question: Are Certain Cars for Posers?

Sure.

That's right.

Hello, Creamers.

Forum question.

I'll pose as cars a thing.

When I see someone in the G-Class,

MG, Eurus, a base hurricane,

sometimes a G-A-T-M-3, I usually assume

they're not car guys.

Is that a thing?

Absolutely.

You're not buying it.

I think there are, but it's also possible to,

I think there are two types of car guys.

There are, well, hey, now, let's be inclusive.

It's car guys, young girls.

It's not just car guys.

Car folk.

Car folk.

But there are car folk like us who are

afflicted, who are unfortunately afflicted.

But there are people who are into cars.

They like cars.

They don't have to know specs,

all this sort of stuff.

Now, do I want the conversation with those people?

No, I don't want to hear about how cool your

G8 is that stock and you've put maximum split is on.

Good for you, brother.

But at the same time, you can't disregard them.

They had the money or the ability to go out

and they could have bought normal,

or they could have bought, I don't know,

like a basic class, if you see what I mean.

It would have still done the job,

but they went, "No, I want something cool.

I want something car-y."

I'm sure there are people that will buy it

just because people say that you should have one.

You should get one of these,

because they're cool.

But yeah, GATM3, I think, again,

I think people will think it because it's a new car.

The newer, I think, that's the closer you

might get to pose it.

I guess maybe some classic stuff as well.

You will probably get rich people who have a

classic car, not because they're that into

it, but because I want to be seen in a classic car.

It's the vibe, it's the cool people.

I want other people to see that I have this

car, or they know it's expensive.

No type thing, but yeah, I always,

it's hard because it's like a non-car people

thing when they see a car person who they

think of being a poser, they think everyone's a poser.

They think, any of us are in a fiesta or

something, they think if you've got a loud

exhaust, you're trying to be a poser,

but that's actually not what they're trying.

It is silly, but they're not doing it for other people.

They're doing it because they go,

"Oh wicked, my fiesta is well-loud as I'm 18."

And then on the flip side then,

there will be normal people that will look at

you in the glardo and go, "I understand."

Yeah.

Not realizing that playing TDU every single

day for your childhood will make you go and need that.

There will be people out there who,

they're not that into cars, they're not that

passionate about it, who just go,

"I have enough money, I'm gonna buy Lamborghini."

'Cause that's the thing to be seen and I

think that is obviously a poser.

So maybe there are poser cars,

but it's always gonna be the more expensive

cars, isn't it?

Yeah, because, well, if you have a ridiculous

amount of money, you've got to spend on something.

There's no point in not spending it.

So you're gonna go, "What's expensive?

"I guess," when they think about it,

the poser cars, they're gonna be the ones

where it's like a, if you know,

you know, like a base hurricane that like the

chap has put in that forum question is

probably a good one, because it's like,

you've just gone, "I want Lamborghini."

It's like 911 or something you've gone for.