Audi's Exciting News, Urinal Stories and Straight Pipes - C.R.E.A.M. #72

0:00 Introduction and Rule or Ruin

Ben's tucking into a seven pound Scott train,

like he would not believe.

That might be the worst car I've ever seen.

Their urinal, when they turn around,

will just be facing me

using my urinal.

So, the van turns around and goes,

"Oh, I'll

just wait."

Hello and welcome back to the Cream podcast,

the 72nd Cars Rule Everything Around Me

podcast with myself, Will, Edwin to my right

and Benjamin behind the color or in front of the camera.

At the beginning of every single one of these

podcasts, we ask all of us whether cars have

ruled or ruined everything around us this week.

Edwin, I see that you're in your thoughts.

I think it's positive.

I think it's a rule for me.

It's looking up.

Yeah, no, that's what I'm thinking.

I'm thinking things are looking up.

A, the E36, as you've maybe seen on a video

on Friday, it was broken.

He was lost, but now he's found it's broken.

It runs again.

So 172 Clio, I set up to the same guys that

you sent your Clio up to, a corn ramp

motorsport up in Liverpool.

He's been busy on that car.

He's basically got rid of all of the other

little annoying issues.

And that car's now ready for mapping,

so it can now make some power.

And then we've got two.

Will and I have made two very scary,

but very cool purchase.

You'll see that in an upcoming series.

And then even cooler than that,

we got challenged by Car Vertical.

We got a Car Vertical Challenge coming.

They timed us to buy a car.

You will see it in a week or two.

at this point, but they said,

"I bet you can't buy one of these cars and

give us some cars without buying a dodgy one."

And it turns out they were nearly right.

We were in that sort of trifecta,

that Golf R140 RS3.

We're not saying which one it is,

but we're in that one and we're in the absolute depths.

But all we had to buy our side throughout the

whole thing was Car Vertical.

And shout out, they are another sponsor of

this podcast this week.

They are supporting us.

As always, if you're buying a car,

are, especially as we found,

if you're buying a M140 and RS3 or a Golf R,

do a car vertical check.

It will, it may, it very well may save your

skin as it did ours.

You'll see that in an upcoming episode.

All you need, as we said before,

is a car's Reg or it's the number.

You can run a car vertical check and it will

tell you if it's been crashed,

stolen or clocked.

It will save you.

I've just been on a car on one of the

original platforms that we use and actually

that gives you some of the history on there.

But again, I didn't want to leave any stone unturned.

So I did a car vertical check.

back, really good.

So I actually upped my bid after that.

You did get it.

I came back and thought up the bid,

that's good.

Then if you're going to buy multiple cars

this year, you can actually buy multiple

checks in advance and you get a discount of

almost 50% in some cases.

Yeah, it's well worth doing.

Leave no stone, unchecked, unturned.

So as always, use our code cream for 20% off

your next car vertical check.

And as we'll say, you can bubble them

together and get 50% off or more.

So shout out to Car Vertical.

Thank you for sponsoring.

It's a rule for me, William.

I'm also going to go with the rule because

again, the sun has been out briefly.

It's back to rain today.

But we've got two very cool.

One is on the way right now.

It may even arrive while we're here.

It might interrupt.

You might see itchy feet start to want to leave ASAP.

The other one is already here.

Bit scary, bit worrying.

It's bad.

Do you know what?

I sent it to someone the other day,

a photo, and they said, I quote,

"My God, that might be the worst car I've ever seen."

But we're looking to do some really cool

stuff with him.

One of them, we're looking to do what is

actually going to be the first.

Yeah, at least in right hand drive anyway.

So that'll be very, very cool.

But that is yet to come.

Then

3:38 Car Vertical Challenge Update

there's the thing that's next door currently,

which has also been quite good.

It's been fun.

Really, really cool.

So we've got some really cool aftermarket

bits going on that in the last few days and

the next few days.

And just want to quick aside,

we have not forgotten about any of our other

project cars.

We have been working through some of the stuff.

Oh, sorry, that's another rule for me.

We should have put it in front of the next podcast.

We may have bought a big supercharger for the E55.

Oh, yeah.

There's some special stuff coming for and the

Zafira is part of that plan.

Don't worry.

We have a plan.

We have a way.

Zafira is next week.

Yeah, I feel we've done the Zafira last week.

So there are definitely there are some old

bits we will carry on with.

Some of them, they may not, they may get sold

or whatever, but the good ones that you are

waiting for, it will all happen.

Yeah, RS6.

Hang in there, buddy.

Yeah, we're going to get to you.

We really will.

He's looking at the Zafira going,

is this what I'm going to end up like?

No, I've been here for years.

No, but we will get through them.

Other than that, first driving the Clio today,

actually.

First proper driving the Clio.

I was very pleased with that.

So I put some good tires on it.

That car sounds incredible.

It really does sound good.

It's got a scorpion back box and other than

that, I think, a manifold, but it sounds like

a little rally car.

If you're listening to this on Thursday,

you will hear it tomorrow, right then?

That's tomorrow's the Sickness Check and Channel video.

Yeah, so it's basically just tidying it,

mechanically getting it right.

Again, Edwin said, "Cormrant mode sport,

they've reached out to me."

and said, "Do you want me to swap some bits?"

I sent it up to them.

In the space of a week, they just sorted

pretty much everything.

I wanted them to leave some bits,

some of the servicing bits and other sort of

visual bits, but I've still got to decide on seats.

That's my next thing now.

It's like, mechanically, it seems to be okay.

There's a couple of little bits,

but I want seats.

I need to get the wheels refurbished.

Just little bits like that, like the cool bits.

The issue, though, is that you're bidding on

a car tonight, that you were not planning on bidding on.

We will find out this next week on the podcast.

It throws two cars, it throws two of my cars into doubt.

Yeah, because this car is practical enough

that it could

replace the Range Rover.

That's not necessarily economical

enough, but it's also fun enough that it

could replace them again.

So potentially this may end up by next week,

you may go, yeah, clear to undertracker.

Yeah, no, you're possible.

It's entirely possible.

But I really like that car.

The way it looks, the way it sounds now as

well, it's coming along very nicely.

Now, there's some long faces of it.

on the other side of the camera.

Multiple faces?

No, just the one.

Just the one long face.

Is it long face?

Well, A, you said, I'm not feeling that chassis today.

No, I can, I'm not feeling massively chatty.

I don't know.

I'm just feeling like quite a guy today.

Good thing you're not on a podcast.

Yeah, no, I'm going to make it difficult,

wouldn't it?

I'm in ruin.

Why is it?

Again, and someone commented at this at the last podcast.

So who's always in ruin?

Yeah, well, guess what?

I think how I feel.

Guess what?

It's again.

Golf.

Golf good.

Is it?

It's just a VW, isn't it?

It's just good.

Sorry.

And then there's just a few small things.

To quote a very famous person.

Is that true?

Yeah, is that true?

Is that true?

Is that true?

And then

you double down and go, "Do you think that's true?"

And

then he'll follow it up with,

"I don't think that's true."

But ten minutes of silence, they'll go,

"That's not true, surely."

So why is the goal for Volkswagen?

It's just, it's good.

It just has small little things.

I had it when I had my three little things

that just go on.

So I had my all level sensor thing,

which new about that, which is great.

I learned that I am checking the oil every week.

Yeah.

And like, every other week.

Not actually every sort of other week.

Very fortnight.

Yes, I checked it and topped it up,

whatever cool.

And then like this morning, it's an oil level sensor.

So either I'm leaking, you know,

a catastrophic leak or it's fine.

So what I'd now do is open the bonnet and

then close it again and then resets the sensor.

And then it goes away.

That's amazing.

Now what's the new edition?

The new edition is the, when I first got the

car, the, it has, it has keyless entry and

keyless start, which we, which we were like,

that's amazing.

Of course it's great to advertise that on the internet.

But keyless entry was always really intermittent.

I liked it when it worked.

It was really intermittent.

And then last week I got on the car and it went bong.

I went, no, it was a dashboard.

And it said oil level.

Yeah.

And then I, it said, you said your S2000

means an engine.

Yeah.

Keyless, a keyless system not working or,

or, or, not functional, whatever.

And it hasn't since then.

And now I had this new thing and it's a

really nice one for VW.

What would you do logic?

Yeah.

Right.

And then maybe the car goes right.

So I have no signal from the antennas.

So I'll just turn it off.

We'll just look.

We won't worry about that.

For our code.

Happy days.

Yeah.

No, no.

What it does is it still tries to use the system.

So when it gets down to 10 miles an hour when

you slow down.

Yeah.

It, it, it goes, could be a key,

could be a key to unlock the car.

So then it being, it being a system and then when you.

Different to a bong?

Yeah.

And then when you get above 10 miles an hour,

it bongs.

It bongs.

Because it checks the system again.

Cause now it's going, I'm not going to get

unlocked at 10 miles an hour,

am I?

And then when you slow down again.

Oh, so it must be sent for locking based.

Yeah.

And it said that it's out of interest,

which technician name did you use on the auto?

I didn't.

You didn't.

I left it blank.

Oh, wow.

So you may have been using by default,

John Hamm.

Mr.

John Hamm.

He's our technician on the auto.

Probably.

And anyway, it told me that basically the

passenger door handle.

So that's where the antenna is,

right?

So it's actually quite easy.

You can unbolt the handle from like without

taking the door card off.

Flush door.

And then you just, yeah.

And plug on your one in.

So I can just need a new door handle.

You know what?

Imagine explaining that to someone in the 60s.

Yeah.

No.

So sometimes the electricity in your door

handle will fail.

It's not related to the operation of the door at all.

You can still get in the now.

The door works fine.

But no, just other systems need your door

handle to be replaced.

What are you talking about?

And the car will bonk at me and tell me,

you know, direct me towards this fault.

Yeah.

And then I'll use a wireless piece of

technology to plug into the car and then it

will direct me exactly to where I need to go

and say, new door handle.

New door handle.

So here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to fix it.

You're going to unplug it.

I'm going, no, I wouldn't work.

I'm going to, um, I'm going to,

apparently you can basically plug into the

car and tell the car no more,

no more keyless entry because it's the same module.

It does keyless start and keyless entry,

but they're in separate parts of the module.

So you can just tell it don't do keyless

entry, but keyless start works.

And that was better for safety.

I don't want that anyway.

Yeah.

Because, you know, people stealing cars and what such.

Of course.

So I just need to figure out how to do that

because I can't.

I've tried to earlier and it was,

I was genuinely going to brick my ECU.

So literally what I said to Will,

I said to Will, I bet you Ben's out there on

that hotel just mashing keys,

but going, I'm going to, I'm going to brick something.

Yeah, I got really scared.

I didn't do anything, but he's uploaded the 1.2 TSI.

So there's that.

So that's a bit of ruin.

And then S2000 just still not silhouette.

A wall.

Ben told us something.

In redacted state, Ben told us today he may

not drive that car until June.

Well, roughly around that.

Yeah.

That's a long time.

No, there are life reasons why.

Yeah.

Like if you want to move out,

you need to save up money.

But not bad.

It can still be driven though.

Yeah, this is the thing about it,

right?

Is that it's actually fine.

Yeah, it is fine.

I know there's a whole joke about the oil

thing or whatever, but as far as we're aware,

it actually runs fine.

It drives fine.

Yeah.

Well, it was you though that said,

I don't like it.

I'm putting it away because.

And you just said, I need to fix it.

And then you just said, but it's fine.

Well, I want to put it away anyway,

because I went through this thing.

When I first bought it, I was like,

I'm

11:00 Future Plans for Cool Cars

going to drive it, rust doesn't really matter.

And I really, it's really started to get to me.

And I'm here.

And I always feel left out whenever I've got

a cool cars.

I don't.

But actually...

You've got a GTD mate.

Yes, the coolest car in towns that start with

the letter B.

That's a cool car.

That's on the top.

Yeah.

So, it's one of them.

True.

Yeah.

Well, I'm going to...

But at the minute, no one has a cool car.

Everyone else's cars are in.

Yeah, true.

But it's coming.

It is coming.

Sorry.

And it's coming fast.

Like it's approaching.

Yeah.

We've had days, right?

It's been scintillating.

You can see everyone looking at each other.

Yeah.

Do we get them out?

Now, I don't know if I've talked about this.

My eight series, I was going to sell.

I took it to Chris' Imagination Creations to

get a little...

There was a bit of bubbling and I didn't want

someone to turn up and go, "There's loads of

rust on it."

So I said, "Can you sand that down,

have a look underneath and paint it?"

It turns out there was a lot of rust under

it, like a lot of rust.

And I didn't want to just have a...

I knew I'd be selling it.

I didn't want to have a car full of filler

and then someone six months down the line go,

"Great, I have got a ruined car."

So I said, "Can you fix it properly?"

He fixed all the rust.

It was a lot of work and basically we painted

the whole car now.

You'll see a video on it soon.

So I've decided to keep that car.

At first, I was like, "This is all my money.

I'm paying all the money."

And then yesterday I looked outside and went,

"Oh, eight series in this weather,

yeah."

So now I'm excited for it again.

Yeah, everyone's gonna be bringing their cars out.

So what it needs, I love this,

and--

A chain.

(laughs)

Just so it's anyway, and then I don't know.

It's sort of one of those ones where it's

probably fine, but also I could be hitting

9,000 RPM and suddenly I go,

"But you have to remember."

Not that.

We have a YouTube channel where we do car things.

All you gotta do is get it from that.

All you gotta do is get it tucked up from

it's little sleep.

Wake it up and go, "I'm ripping your head off."

If you do a research and find the parts we

need, we'll order them.

and then we'll do it together.

That could be good.

And then you give it to us and then we'll order it.

Okay, dumb.

And then the car's sorted.

I'll say the other thing about that car,

I...

And while we're at it, if you could actually

need some new wheels, if you could also clean

it for me and sort all of the rust out,

thank you, I'll be back in a week.

One of the things that I really want to do

with it is, it needs more noise.

I think that's part of the reason that I'm

not fizzing about it, is that it's just quiet.

I do have next door, an angle grinder.

Do that information as you will.

Could be done.

And we've got a welder, I think.

That's true.

I've welded maybe eight years ago.

So again, perfect.

Let me know.

More soon than I have.

That makes sense.

Shall we get on to anecdote?

Let's do, let's start off some news,

because there have been some.

So I'll hold them up.

That was two rules in a ruin,

but I hope full ruin.

Yeah, a ruin, but nothing that bad,

really.

Can I jump the queue?

I don't because this relates to rules and ruins.

Please, I've got statistics.

Oh, you did it.

Someone did it.

This, there was a chap who did it,

but he did tell it was not accurate.

He said it was AI.

He said it was not accurate.

And then someone replied, it's quite nasty

comment actually.

He said, well, what's the point then?

And I kind of agreed, but also this man has

put in some time.

Exactly.

More time than you have, pal.

And there were any of us.

This is from, I've got a DM.

We go.

I don't know the same person who I'm going to

read it

out and we'll just see.

This is from, I'm going to butcher

now.

I'm very sorry.

Bavra Parak.

Cool.

My messed up.

I did apologize.

We've got some streaks.

And then we've got, he's been looking as I put that.

Here we go.

So, this is from the 70 episodes.

Here we go.

We've got total, I'd say the amount of times

that we all ruined.

Yes.

Was two.

Only two.

I don't believe, but fine.

Two in that whole rules.

Yeah.

Was 21.

No way.

We had some early episodes where we were pretty happy.

Why are they?

We were just dishing them out.

Early TDC was different, Pud.

We're like, God, I'm so happy to be here.

Guys, say one of them all.

There's a fear.

Edwin's longest rule streak.

Seven.

Seven rules.

That's seven weeks.

That's nearly two months.

This is a good ratio here, little KD.

You've got longest rule streak,

five.

That makes sense.

You know what?

There were S3 sort of era.

There was some rough one.

You're in the positive.

You're in positive.

We need to read, for Christmas episode this

year, A, it will not be filmed again.

We'll delete the footage.

B, we'll do an actual analysis and we will

sit down and we'll work this out to the T.

Will your rule streak is 14 and your ruin

streak is three.

14!

That's a crazy one.

Sure, that's Lamborghini time.

Yeah, that must have been summer.

Everything else was bad, but there wasn't

Lamborghini there.

So therefore, it's fine.

And my streaks are very short.

No, also, no way.

If you're telling me you don't have the

longest ruin streak, I don't believe it.

Longest ruin streak apparently is three for me.

Absolutely not.

But I think I feel the bottom line.

I swear you've been ruined since the beginning.

Longest ruin streak is 70 ruins.

This is our beginning.

It's three years.

We'll work it out maybe later in the year,

we'll compare it.

Is it three years in everything

but three has been ruined?

Yeah, it feels like the

opposite of that.

That does, yeah.

Will you have 55 rules

and 15 ruins overall?

That is a 78% rule.

It doesn't mean it's sort of a matter of nothing.

I have 37 rules and 25 ruins.

No.

Does that add up?

I don't know that that adds up to 17.

That's 62.

Okay, cool.

Although, sorry, there will be--

Oh, there will be--

There's old-channel, there's 2DC podcast.

And there will also be ones where you won--

Which means

17:07 Statistics on Rules and Ruins

that mine doesn't add up anymore.

No, it was--

It means there's 70 odd in there.

Yeah, you've got 70.

Yeah, no, but there haven't been 70 podcasts

on this channel.

This is getting--

Other numbers are different.

So look, next one, Ben.

It could be from Spotify.

Who knows?

Big chopper.

Edwin, you have 44 rules and 26 ruins.

So maybe I had missed eight podcasts.

Perhaps, well, all the guests won,

of course.

But we will-- you know what?

Christmas time, we will do this properly.

So that's our best.

Sorry if we lost you with all those numbers.

We'll go back into anecdote now.

What we saying?

anecdote,

anecdote, anecdote.

So I'll start off with a quite positive

one, actually.

Here we go.

Alan D have got a new CTO.

He's like the head of R&D.

Can you say his name?

His

name.

Is Dr.

Ruvan Mer.

Like, more, more.

Spell that?

M-O-H-R.

Okay, nice.

I'd say that's Mer.

Sure, Mer.

Like the Christmas time.

I'm gonna go with more.

Ruvan Mer.

His nickname is Dr.

Crazy.

Lovely.

And what I found out, and this is actually

sent in by a common, what do you call it?

It's a horrible thing to say.

It's like a common person.

Someone who gives things to us.

What do they give?

They give us things.

They contribute to a common contributor to

the cream podcast.

That's great.

Hexgraphical on Instagram.

He sends me many things.

I sometimes don't reply, but I hope you understand.

He sent me this and said there's a new man

and he's very, very into cars,

nice to see on a big, big brand like Audi.

And I spoke to Edwin about this beforehand,

but JP, they built this.

They're like us but good in Germany.

Yeah, with like sort of, they built good car,

JP builds incredibly good cars.

But there was a wide body S2,

so S2 is the coupe, or sort of hatchback coupe.

Thought somebody.

How would be that absolutely scrumptious?

So they have the ultimate version of the

five-cylinder turbo.

So the right at the end, the most developed

version, they had the five-pot.

Essentially, the Audi Quattro engine,

but I wanna say they were five valve,

or they were like, that's what you build if

you wanna do big power.

Yeah, so he ordered that car,

that's his car.

So the CTO of Audi, asked for that to be built.

At least isn't Audi as well.

So he was at Lamborghini, he's just come from

Lamborghini, I think roughly the same role at

Lamborghini, and now into Audi.

So it could be good.

And should we say, should we--

Should we, should we--

What was the year part?

Lamborghinis recently though,

haven't been busting on the same way.

Okay, but you know, they haven't.

But it's still quite exciting,

they're still doing engines.

He's into something else.

And should we move from that into the other Audi news?

The RS5.

Which is the RS5, which, I know he talked

about this already, but it's not an RS5 man.

This makes me angry.

It's really--

It's the M4 all over again.

Now one thing I will say about the M4 is that

I'm completely over it.

I'm not over it now.

I see an M4, I'm cool with it,

I'm like, that's an M4, isn't it?

Because the M3 still exists.

True, whereas that is--

You've taken RS4, literally that one of the

ones that everyone knows, like RS6,

RS4, the OG, people know that one,

they know it, and you go, no,

no, no, no, sorry, it's five.

No, we've always had that, RS5.

RS5, a car that does exist as a coupé,

so you, what are you doing?

That was the point, the RS4 was the saloon,

obviously, normally, I think it was just the

event at one point, and then the RS5 was the

one you bought that was the more sportier

coupé or like grand coupé type thing,

and now they've just gone, and none of that

anymore, that's it now.

But, mash up.

Come on.

No, it does, absolutely.

For all the ocean.

I don't know how to do this.

Have you seen the--

What?

The tips are bad.

You don't like--

Wrong.

I think the tips would be perfect if they

were further apart.

They look like bee stings.

They do.

I like them.

I think that's a pretty good design.

They're just, again, if they were further

out, like on the RS6, yeah, also they're

gonna be like tip covers or whatever,

if you wanna call them, that,

tip sheaths.

So that is now, so because it's,

if you're not that Audi incline,

it is the new Audi Wagon RS,

but it's an RS5, it's based on the RS4,

which before was a V6 as well,

right?

The Supercharged?

Yeah, the Supercharged, yeah,

very Supercharged.

So this new one is a 2.9 litre,

which, I saw a lot of people talking about

this, 2.9, you're feeling VR60.

When you get

into 2.9-ish, you're now going like

old-school Volkswagen cars.

What was the original, 2.7?

2.7, yeah, 2.0 V6.

So this one is a 2.9, 2.0 V6,

but, it has a high-voltage electric motor,

and then hybridized 8-speed tiptronic gearbox.

It's weird to me that they're still using the

word tiptronic.

Like for car people, tiptronic is the sign of ugh.

Slash.

If you have a tiptronic 9.6,

tough if you have a tiptronic,

Audi or Porsche.

It's not good.

What's it called?

PDK?

It's tronic.

That's better.

That's the SG1, right?

Yeah, but it's weird to me that they're

still, you still hear people saying there's

the tiptronic.

Give it a new name.

Get rid of that name, 'cause it is bad colletations.

It's a nice lightweight car,

right?

Yeah.

I know.

Was it 2.2, 2.3 times?

I can speak on this, 'cause it is one of my

points on here.

I have got 10 cars, but this is heavier than.

Oh, Ben's coming.

Ben feed.

Number 10 will shock you in in my knot.

The thing about this, right,

is that I know everyone's gonna comment

going, "That's nice."

That's the saloon.

I've just put a photo of the saloon up there.

I've just seen that as well.

The rear end of my mat, do you know what that has?

Speaking of what's in the background for

audio list, the E36, the one that I got

running, do you see what I mean about having

a stubby rear end on my saloon,

gives it that angry squatty look?

That looks great.

Those arches are fantastic.

Yeah.

Whoever designed those arches,

really a big round of applause.

A little splitter at the back.

Although I'm seeing forged carbon as a bit.

I'm seeing forged carbon from a manufacturer,

which I'm not liking.

Now, this car, I know everyone with the M5

was like, "Oh, all the reviews as much as I have."

All the reviewers were like,

"Actually, when you feel a turn in,

it's really light 'cause it's powerful."

Probably.

But this is just heavy.

Probably not.

This weighs this RS5, this weighs 2,370 kilograms.

In pounds?

When I don't know--

So almost 2.4--

So what did you say?

2,370.

In KG, in pounds for American

businesses, is 5,224 pounds.

That's a big order.

So that's coming up on a, probably coming up

on a ton more

than the original RS4.

That's what I was just, I'm just

gonna check the original--

They must be 1,500, maybe 16.

Maybe some lot more than the last one I can't have.

The original RS4 weighed 1620.

So just about a ton--

800 kilos more.

Jesus.

He's a chunky, chappy, that guy.

So what's it's so heavy of them?

10 kilograms heavier than a Rolls-Royce Ghost.

(laughs)

Jesus.

A Tuareg, the one that Taylor has the V10

one, but not the V10 one, the 4.2.

Okay, but still a big engine in it.

28 kilograms heavier.

Nice.

Jesus.

The, I guess,

23:54 Audi's New CTO and RS5 News

is it last generation, 2019 era X7?

X7, yeah.

Wow.

10 kilograms heavier than that.

Jesus.

A W12 Bentley Bentayga?

Christ.

No, I have five kilograms.

Would you like to guess the previous,

maybe it's on your list, but I've just jumped ahead.

The most recent RS6, the weight on that?

2.4, I don't know.

I mean, I would think it's less.

That's 2.1 tons.

So how is that, is it, the net must be the metric?

The current generation.

The current generation.

12 S-Class is almost 100 kilograms lighter than this.

What?

That is, that is ridiculous.

So the thing, I always think about with these

is, okay, on the M5 it makes a little bit

more sense or seven series, a bigger car

hides weight better.

But this is supposed to be the small one.

This is supposed to be the M3 competitor.

You can't hide the weight in that,

maybe, look, I'm no engineer.

Maybe the Germans have found a way,

but it's just, I do like how it looks.

I don't know, but then it's always,

it drives well, considering the weight.

That's exactly why I was here.

It's never, it's never.

I've heard a few people drive it and go,

"No, it's just very heavy."

So it'd be interesting to see.

It's another one like what we said with Ferrari.

I think the best, I think the best ones are behind us.

Unfortunately, it's all in the past and you

can't disagree with that.

I've got one more for you.

Oh, here we go.

It's 105 kilograms heavier than the SQ7.

I guess two sizes up and SUV in the same lineup.

So what does that mean?

The hybridized SQ7 is going to work.

What's the next R6 going to be like?

That's good.

It's going to be, we must be on the cusp of

three ton cars.

That must be why they brought this one out

because they needed to soften the blow.

And then you guys are already used to the 2.6

tons, right?

I would have thought, surely,

when you're in a kind of era of trying to be

a bit more economical, trying to be a bit

more, you would try and go lighter if you're not.

Surely like whacking four or five 500 kilos

off the way and maybe not having the motor.

Like, does it, I don't know.

Does it make a difference?

Crazy.

I'm not an engineer.

What have we got next?

Ben.

Sorry, sorry.

Well, the final one will do.

But it's in the realm of what's over half a

ton heavier than the light generation RS4.

Crazy, half a ton.

Half a ton.

Love an RS4.

RS4.

That would be good, wouldn't it?

It would be lovely.

Daily.

Practical, fun.

New M5 is being detuned for Europe,

you say, Benjamin.

Indeed.

Now, I don't know if this is,

True, great.

Well, that's perfect.

Ben said, just before this podcast,

Hang on.

I'm gonna get all my stories ready today.

Hold on, what did we-

We came up with a tagline that may have to

become a merch line earlier.

I've forgotten it.

It was Ben.

You heard it here third.

That it is.

Cream news, you heard it here third.

So it doesn't say, what I'm saying about,

I don't know if it's true or not,

is I don't know if this is, I assume it's for Euro seven.

Right.

Which I mentioned a few weeks ago,

everyone said it was really boring,

but here we are.

Again, mentioning it for the possibly fourth time.

Also, I always just think it sounds like a

football league.

You know, seven.

Yeah, we've been promoted to Euro seven.

You know, have we covered out of six?

It was a tough fight, but we've made it into

this league now.

And I just, I'm hoping

that the boys do well, disappointed to be

relegated into

seven.

So basically in the UK and Europe,

I guess, it's for emissions there.

China, your UK is in Europe.

So we're coming to that.

Shout out.

Yeah, fair.

What?

It's just to conform to...

So, yeah, so they're basically gonna boost

the motors in it.

Right.

To make up for the 40 horsepower.

So the hybridized bit.

Yeah, but the actual internal combustion

engine is going to be 40 horsepower less.

So that's over Americans.

Americans, they get all, because they don't

care about emissions.

So that means they've boosted the electric

one for what they don't realize is that no

one knows how to tune the electric one,

but they do know how to tune the engine one.

Someone's gonna go, whip that little OPF,

PPF, CPF, whatever is in there.

Whip it out, whap a chill on it,

little couple of downpipes, made of some

hybrids, and it's gonna be making a million horsepower.

1000 horsepower, but make sure your brake

pads aren't giving off too much dust.

If those bunny brake pads give off any dust,

I'll be finding it right here.

Will I smell any brake dust?

You owe me 10 pounds.

It's a careen into the centralization and not brake.

Make those little one-pop calipers on that

three and a half tonne-five work.

Do engine braking.

So for the interesting, so you know,

we always had the E36 thing where it was

like--

It's actually, it was like--

We've got the Real M3, is it a three to eight?

Yeah, it's not the opposite.

Now they get the big boys.

So that's quite fantastic.

We're gonna be importing in five camps in five motors.

Yeah.

Oh, they're gonna be taking our motors,

electric guys.

Now, new, new, new, good news about Lamborghini.

Ben, you tell me that the Lamborghini Lanza

door is dead.

The Lamborghini door has been found dead.

With the fact that I didn't know it existed

in my first place.

I was going to see the exact same thing.

I've never heard that name in my life.

Years ago, kind of when the,

remember the original Euroce concept came out?

It does, it looks like the estocue thing.

Yeah, that's what I thought,

the one that was on top gear years ago.

It's like a lifted one of those.

So, actually, this was going to be the first

electric Lamborghini and Lamborghini have

gone, what are we doing here guys?

You know when you see two guys fight and they

how way for a go?

What are we doing here?

Guys, what are we doing?

Let's just make up.

Yeah.

It's a lot.

They've gone, electric, electric is ass.

Didn't they?

No one's buying them, no one wants it.

We're going to make hybrids.

What was the, there was a quote that they made?

There was a quote that they made.

Fantastic timing, I guess.

I wonder if that might be on purpose.

Ferrari coming out, really riling everyone up

saying, here's our electric thing,

but they're actually revealing it.

And then Lamborghini come out and go,

that's what it is.

Lamborghini, first EV is officially canceled,

CEO calls them an expensive hobby.

That is a great little tagline,

I like that.

I bet that's Ferrari.

I bet they thought they were doing it anyway,

but they saw the Ferrari thing and thought,

right, we're really going to stick to you now.

You know what, we hate electric cars,

and we're not making

What sort of idiot would make a supercar electric car?

Not us.

And you know what I did?

They said, this is an exact quote.

They said, "We are not selling mobility,

we

are selling dream cars."

No, which is exactly fair.

Yeah.

It is.

You're not, you, your job as classist as it

might be, your job is not there to make cars

for most people to drive.

That's fine.

I will never buy a new Lamborghini in my

life, because that's not for me,

but it's for a child to go, that's cool.

And then go, I'm into, cars now,

that's what your job is there.

So as much as I don't, I don't love the new

generation Lamborghini, like hybrid stuff,

at least they're doing it.

Yeah, exactly.

In this whole press release,

they're gonna keep them going as long as possible.

Hard fair.

Until they pry that internal combustion

engine away from there.

From my cold, dead hands.

All right Jeremy, come with that right?

Oh,

Jeremy Clarkson.

Oh, Jeremy Clarkson, you see?

Not vine,

oh my God.

(laughing)

We'll do one final bit of news,

and Ben, I hope you're loaded on this.

Ready.

The only one that I wasn't prepared for.

That's fantastic.

Just assume I got it right here.

Oh, here it is.

Alpine are replacing the A110.

Is he a four cylinder?

Yeah, yeah, a McGahn engine,

basically.

A little four cylinder, apparently quite good.

Mid-engined sort of thing, quite cool.

They're replacing your electric one.

Sad.

Now, I'm going to, sorry, I'm just going to

completely avoid that.

I don't care about the EV thing,

but I'd really like to build one on TDC at

some point, with a really lightweight EV6,

like an eco-boost.

So it's like the old Alpenes from back in the

day, the GTA's and the GTA 6's.

'Cause I know they're good, four cylinders

good, but I don't know for me,

a four cylinder does not suit a rear-engined

mid-engined car.

That's a 4C.

It's not, it doesn't, it's not for that.

A V6 though, some ITBs and some spicy headers

and stuff, that could do nicely.

Like, imagine a buso type thing.

Especially a turbo four cylinder,

it's a bit like--

It's a bit soulless.

It's a bit of a cop-out.

Yeah.

It's super hot and revving, like maybe you'd

get away with it, but it's a bit like,

oh, well, we can only fit a four cylinder.

Anyway, we can get power out of it too,

just by slapping a turbo one.

Yeah.

That's kind of the way.

I guess it's more about the chassis and the

way, and it weighs very little.

I remember when the Alpin, when they once in

was released, I think that was the car.

They did a demonstration with some engineers

where they all lifted it.

Yeah.

This is how light it is without blah,

blah, blah.

And now they're slapping electric motors in it.

And unlike Gordon and Murray,

that's his personal car.

Is he actually?

That's what he--

Wow.

Apparently, I think he still drives it every day.

It's like his daily, 'cause he's like,

"It's perfect."

Well, A110.

A110?

I like them, but I don't care.

But that's what I mean.

While I see one, I feel nothing.

Exactly, but imagine a spicy one with a V6.

I'd like that.

Yeah, when I see an A110, it doesn't make me...

It's a bit like, I see an Amira.

I get this brief, like, this bit of hope that

I'm like, "What?"

And I get, "I saw..."

A V6?

No, I think so.

That's a V6, and I'm not excited by that.

No, but I know, but that's 'cause it's a very

modern one, but do you not feel when you see

like an exige V6?

When I see those and they're kind of chunky

and nice and sitting down, I did see an Amira on LMs.

I don't have a photo of it.

There's a guy in America who's got an Amira

on BBS LMs.

Oh, it looks, I've got a photo of it right here.

You can't stop me on this sort of stuff.

I know audio viewers are not gonna understand

this, but tell me, you don't think that looks cool.

That looks absolutely fantastic.

They're too big.

Fantastic.

No, no, I know, they're a bit staunty.

But they could work.

The thought, that now feels like a super car to me.

So it's BBS LM, the Spokey BBS design.

That down low one in the mirror.

But you know what that is?

That's low with spaced out wheels.

So Doug says no.

No, you can't see him in the photo,

so obviously he isn't there.

Which doesn't make sense.

Well, no, there's people with shoes there,

so it's not possible.

We've got next.

We've been using it.

There might be a news, but we might do it

like that in three or four weeks.

Say something next week.

We might listen more later in the years perhaps.

That news is far too fresh.

We've got to push that couple weeks down.

We want to talk about it when it's wailed.

Edwin, you've been motorway breakers.

What's all that?

Well, I'd like to rent for a small bit on

people who break on the motorway.

What are you breaking for?

Why are you driving if there is someone--

I think there's a person in front.

Well, this is the issue.

If there is someone in front of you and

they're doing 70 bars an hour on the

motorway, why are you doing 80,

breaking, coming down to 65 and going,

bloody hell, there's a gap going up.

I have to close that gap.

Racing up behind them and then going,

I'm getting a bit close to this guy.

I'm going to slam the old brakes on.

It frustrates me.

It's actually one of the things frustrates me

most in this world.

Let go of them.

Don't touch the brakes.

Unless there is a pile up in front of you,

leave them alone.

Just let go of your accelerator,

but it'll be fine.

There's also people that will do that,

they'll fly up behind someone and then break,

but they will have a lane free to the right

or to the left either or.

There's so many faults going on.

It's a motorway.

We've got a lot of lanes here.

You can go any way you like and then you

could overtake while I'm doing 70 and this

person's doing 65.

Shall I overtake?

I don't think so.

I think I should have a break.

Just gonna keep slamming for a break.

I have a break and then what I'll do is I

will be the founder of the traffic.

Yeah.

I am the traffic and the beginning.

But that's what I mean.

That's the worst part because they break.

You have to break because you're now behind them.

You're now about to go into the back of then.

Yeah.

You slow down.

You can watch it forming behind you.

So you're saying they're going 70 and they

got a break, then you're coming behind them.

No, I'm doing 70.

And they've slowed down at 70 to now below 70.

Don't ever try and catch me on that.

Hey, man.

Yes, in this court of law, I will step up to

any allegations.

Okay.

All right.

That's fine.

I look at the cars they're in.

Most people on the road are driving a

relatively modern car.

It's the same as when you see someone on the phone.

I'm looking at you in a 2020 car.

I'm like, what you have, Bluetooth.

You have it.

You don't need to commit crimes.

It's actually easier not to commit the crime.

Yeah.

This was my point.

Probably have a cruise control of sorts.

Adaptive cruise control.

But I think most people don't know they have it.

Are you doing the scared of it?

The person that, the reason that I saw this,

brand new defender.

Yeah.

Brand new 25 plate defender.

No cruise.

No cruise.

It's a van.

No, yeah.

But it was a brand new car.

You can use, you have the ability to not do this.

And yet, 'cause surely it's more draining for you.

Yeah.

If you're on the motorway, like Walter Rawls

pedal cam, in group B, just on and off there.

Yep.

You have to be getting tired of doing this.

Just slamming through brake pads.

Yeah.

And also, it's just annoying to see brake lights.

Oh, none of that, please.

None of that, guys, please.

No, you'll go straight to prison.

Money.

No, no, I don't think I said that.

No, they're on that brake.

(laughs)

Just on and off.

But yeah, people just, just keep a consistent speed.

It doesn't necessarily have to be 70.

It doesn't have to be 60.

Just keep it consistent.

Would you prefer 50 consistent?

Or 50 consistent if you're in the right lane,

100%.

In the right lane?

In the correct lane, sorry.

In the far right lane, if you're in the

overtaking lane and you're doing 50,

all good.

But also, even then, you know,

I'm actually pleased with that,

'cause then I know I can undertake you.

If you're on the far lane doing 50 and then

you go, you know what?

Little brief time, 80.

And then as I'm undertaking,

you know, I get my phone out of my hand,

I take the phone and I send it to the police.

So mighty.

See, go on.

Smoking.

Why do you volunteer this installation,

I'm thinking.

Because undertaking is frowned upon not illegal.

Is that true?

I think that is actually true,

'cause I know that was triggered by when Tom

Lents is here.

Yeah, Mr.

Lenthal.

And I told him that it was not legal.

And it turns out, it's sort of,

you can do it.

There's official times when you can undertake.

You're meant to.

It's like parking.

Sundays after 6 p.m.

you may undertake up until about six in the morning.

But it's one of those parties you don't understand.

Yeah, only if you have a permit,

if you have a residence permit,

you may undertake.

Or leaving before or after leaving before 6 p.m.

but not after 6 p.m.

Loading undertaking only.

(laughs)

It is not illegal.

I know, but I've just told you that.

No.

How do you think we'll get here?

No, I've just looked it up.

It is not illegal, but they would deem it as

a legal case.

It's dangerous driving.

Yeah.

That's just--

Do you know what I think that means?

I think that puts it down to discretion.

Where if you're 30 driving and you're in and

out, then yeah, I think they're gonna do you.

I think if you're, if some clown in Rover 75

who cannot see over the steering wheel is

doing six in a 70, I think it's acceptable to

move slowly into the middle lane and pass

them and then move back.

If I get pulled over for that,

sorry, you're moving slowly into the middle

lane and you're cruising on past.

Legally, yeah.

I'm wafting past, absolutely.

Really not, but if I get pulled over for that

and the bitty in the fast lane doing 60

dozen, I'm willing to go on a police change

at that stand, at that stand.

Oh, that was--

At that point.

39:04 Toilet Stories from Service Stations

Do you need a police chase?

Police, what did I say?

Change.

Police change.

Please change, everybody.

I'll police chase because then,

you know, the world's wrong.

Yeah.

I'll be a criminal at that point.

Okay, well, yeah.

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-I need the toilet.

I walked into the toilet, and what they

was, I need you to imagine, I'm gonna show

you a photo in a

minute, but for the audio viewers,

it's a room, right?

That's

a nice place to start.

-Okay.

-There is the space for three

cubicles.

So they've put three cubicles in,

except there aren't, there are two.

As in the width, the width of the room can

take three cubicles.

-Okay.

-There's two, and then they've realized,

well, because quite a small room,

we want urinals on the other side of the

wall, that's called the North Wall,

the urinal wall, right?

-Piss wall.

-Piss, no, no, sorry.

Toilet, toilet.

-Cubicle corner.

-Cubicle corner is the north side of there.

The east side is where they've put the

urinals, but there is quite small space.

So they've realized they'll probably only get

one urinal on the east wall,

where there's the sink next to it.

So what they've done is, I don't think so

urinal is kind of crazy.

It gets worse.

What they've done is instead of the third

toilet in, they've turned what would be the

toilet space into another urinal.

Now, it'll make sense once I show you,

if you're an audio listener,

come back to this once you get

home and have a look at these photos.

They...

-You're not

allowed to like the idea of that.

-And you're not an audio, it's just a hat

that can't be at home.

-No, you're not an audio listener.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-You're not listening to it like making

dinner or something.

-So, I walk into this toilet and the toilet

cubicles that are taken, the urinal next to

the toilet blocks is also taken,

leaving the one urinal on the east wall

available to the sink.

-Next to the sink.

-Okay.

-So, I walk up to the urinal and I begin my process.

And it's at that point that the person in the

urinal on the north wall finishes his business.

And it is at that exact moment,

but I realize that if someone is on the east

wall and someone is on the north wall,

the person at the north wall cannot leave

their urinal when they turn around will just

be facing me using my urinal.

So, the van turns around and goes,

"Oh, I'll just wait."

And so,

I start laughing.

Because it's very funny.

And what that

van does is he turns back around and faces the urinal.

Now,

I'm going to show you the photo.

I'm going to show you the wide,

right?

He just stares back down into the urinal.

He turned back around.

Here you go.

Oh, it's that ridiculous.

Now, do you know what?

I was confused because the way you described

it, I got my swine out.

I didn't know that that was the way it was lined up.

That is awful.

So, I walked in, two people using these toilet doors.

There's just a man in that corner.

And I was like, right, well,

there's a urinal ready to go.

So, I'm using it.

Yeah, and he just turned around.

And when I was just waiting for you.

Visibly perturbed about me that's starting to laugh.

So, just turned around and went back to it.

That looks like when I designed something in

like the Sims or something, the city building game.

So, that's how it comes out.

Because of where it is, there's no way to

have a divider there.

So, what he's looking at is...

He's straight as you.

Yeah, and he was just looking at it.

Yeah.

Which I can imagine when I start laughing,

even worse, right?

But the, now the best part is,

I've taken photos here.

So, what I had to do while laughing was wash

my hands, leave the toilet and then wait for

all of the men.

So, that's some form of M40 toilet.

That could be the worst.

That was like a sword trap.

Yeah, that was horrible.

So, if

you're that man, who was quite a northern

man, who was just

innocently pissing in a urinal,

I'm sorry.

It's quite nice

to wash that, because it's a very private little corner.

You can...

Oh, I'd have loved to use that one,

but I wouldn't like to get trapped in there.

It's a very safe space to get past.

Also, you know what?

It's

worse managed to try and slip past.

You might get caught in the crossfire.

You just arc it up, so you go under.

Oh, sorry.

I'm by living in cable.

And they do that thing when they have to walk

quite quickly.

They go, "Sorry, mind if I..."

Now, toilet story two came a few days later

when we were on the way to go and look for this.

Not knowing air is funny, but there was a...

You know, sometimes you go into a service

station, you go into the main toilet area,

and it's somehow flooded.

Like, when I say flooded, it's flooded.

Yeah, it's sort of mystery liquid as well.

Yeah, it's just kind of ankle height.

So I walked into this toilet,

and there was...

Over the door, I saw the...

I saw the river Nile, in there,

and went, "Not for me."

So I waited for the disabled toilet.

Now, I think that's completely fine.

That's allowed.

The disabled toilet is for all,

but mainly for.

It's better than the floor.

I'm not using it when I want,

but if other means are not available.

So the door, there was no...

It was occupied.

And the person finished up, over the door,

and their face went white with a pair.

And they went...

Water in the other one.

(laughs) And I went, "Yeah, no,

I know."

And he went, "This one's good."

I walked off.

I said, "Maybe huge."

You should have just shook ahead and shared

it, oh my God.

That's not good.

Why is it that when it comes to public,

people become, like they become reset to

default factory settings?

It's actually, so I thought perhaps an

opportunity for some creamers to share their

service station toilet stories.

Keep it PG.

Thanks.

No swearing, just don't mention any names,

but mention locations.

If we can make a map so we know where the

sort of oddest toilets are around the country.

There's going to be some people,

there's going to be some truck drivers,

there's going to be some professional drivers

who go, "I know that M4C."

That's on the eastbound side of the,

"I've been stuck in that corner a million times."

I've been up in there right now.

I've seen some things.

Next, there's another one from you,

Edwin.

I can't say part of this.

It's straight part, straight,

straight pipe people.

Straight pipe people.

Now, Ben, this might go over your head,

this may go over many people's heads,

47:42 Straight Pipe Exhaust Confusion

as

Motorcycle Pipes, they go into one pipe and

then it's one pipe out the rear of the car.

Thank you so much Ben.

You've understood the assignment quite nicely.

You have understood quite literally the most

basic form of two words being put together.

Straight and pipe.

We've walked two cars.

One is the one that's arriving on the way.

Why do people not understand what it means?

Straight pipe exhaust for XCar.

So I'm running a catted down pipes into a

resonator, into a muffler, into this back box

with a cat, with a cat delete.

That's not what a straight pipe is.

Maybe you can see one straight bit of pipe

and go, that's a straight pipe isn't it?

This car's got a straight pipe,

man.

It's got all kinds of pipes.

One's the muffler thing's showing.

But it annoys, because I see it,

I'm like, I want to see, I want to hear what

the straight pipe is so I know what the

loudest it could be.

Yeah.

I need the top level.

And then we can dial it back.

But then someone's like, yeah,

it makes full straight pipe.

Just got two different power flow mufflers on it.

Not that then.

It's just a drawing.

That is just another round of the week.

I think people, it's often the back box,

isn't it?

It's always a, someone will cut a back box

out and go, it's been straight piped.

Despite the fact that the rest of the crusty

system has still got a cat in it,

still got a little like resonator in there.

You've still got a cat in the manifold.

So you're not, you're not really straight.

Oh, so a lot of straight pipe stuff does kind of sound.

Oh, they sound terrible.

But now I think we can kind of tell you here.

Someone says it's straight pipe to hear it

and go, that is not.

It's not.

When a car is straight pipe,

especially a non turbo car, you will know about it.

That could also be the definition of a straight pipe.

There were pipes off the back,

and then a small pipe out the back.

No restriction, no anything.

A manifold to the exit of the car.

And it was deafening.

The engine breathing good.

And you got a straight, you're going,

what's cool though?

It's uncool.

It's uncool.

We got next.

I regret not keeping that pipe.

Yeah, I think you should have special occasions.

But anyway, what do we have next?

Then you've put in here, rock on,

but I think this is me.

It's the one next.

This is me.

I asked you to put it in here.

So when we go to lunch, when we go out,

when we go and do things, pick things up,

we, in the, any car we're in really,

we will, I'm not going to say terrorize.

We will entertain members of the public by

doing things, either saying things,

saying hello, good morning, whatever.

But we'll also thank people in slightly odd ways.

It is genuinely completely harmless.

Yeah.

We are no victims here.

We are not trying to be mean to anyone.

No.

We actually do it because it's quite funny spreading joy.

If you, if you're driving around and you give

someone like, not a beep, a toot,

you give someone a little toot,

and you give them a wave, they love it.

Give them that toot and then give them that beep.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ben, familiar with that?

No.

Great.

No way.

And you'll see their faces like,

oh, they'll be confused.

But either.

There are no real victims here.

No one gets left sad.

They'll forget it in five minutes.

No one goes, Oh, gosh, I'm waiting.

I just don't wave them.

He smiled.

I don't know.

It was either.

But anyway, when you're thanking someone,

one, as you should thank someone,

you should thank them.

Instead of doing that, we've been throwing up

some different signals, different answers,

not gang signs, not middle fingers,

nothing like that.

So the other day, I started doing the rock on

sign up, which is there's another,

there's another detail here.

Okay.

And it was your seating position.

Oh, yes.

I forgot that.

Yeah, I had reclined the seat all the way

back as a joke.

Like a 30 driver.

Yes, completely back.

And then giving people the rock on as I go past.

So I gave someone is your middle finger and

your ring finger?

Is that your ring finger?

I know, that's your pinky and your index.

Index pinky.

And you can choose to have the thumb out if

you're really rocking or you have the thumb

in if you just a little bit casual with it.

I went, I just went with that one,

the traditional one.

What's that?

And I gave it to people.

I don't know what that is.

Whatever.

The traditional rock on sign.

Yeah.

And I gave it to a few people,

if I'm honest.

And then we got, and what about rock on?

And we got an email from someone who said,

right, would you like me to read the email?

The other, the other thing to note is that we

have always said one day we're going to get recognized.

And it's going to be bad.

And here we go.

Hello all at TDC.

I happen to be driving down the rural back

lanes of Reading Today due to diversions on

the M4 when I came across a black Mercedes GL

coming towards me.

So I gave way and saw the TDC plate.

But I can only, what can only be described as

a rock on signal from Will as a thank you for

giving away.

Either that, or it was a middle finger.

Either way, it made me giggle and improve my

day since the down diversion will cause me

delays at work.

Keep up the smashing videos

and podcasts.

Really enjoy the content.

I'm

the

and

Munch, there he is, the very happy,

smiley millionaire man himself.

We parked up at Beckinsville services and we

saw this Maybach and J.R.O.

videographer was talking about the fact they

were how the Maybach rear door is different

and how it's different to a normal S-class

and it was like a 20, 25 or a 75 plate

Maybach S-class thingy S-680.

And we went in and we had our food and what

such came back out.

And then we had to wait in the car for a

while because we're going to view a car down

the road 10 minutes away.

We just saw a man approaching the Maybach.

A set of brownie

orange corduroy trousers, Ben,

they were right up your street.

Like I could see you wearing these and a jacket.

And I said, which another classic TDC is,

you see someone

that looks very like someone,

you say, get a load of, and then the best

that it looks like.

And I said, get a load of fear for fear so we're here.

And there was just a pause where all three of

us in the car must you wanted to see this all

lean in and squint and gun.

But the reason we bring this to you on the

podcast is because everyone will and I have

told have gone, who?

Who's that?

Are we the only people that know fear and

fetus on this earth?

And of course, tying it back into the car

podcast, he did get into the back of the Maybach.

Yeah, which was lovely.

Really nice spec on it as well.

That evening, my mum was watching Dragons Den

just by coincidence.

And I said, oh, Edwin will saw single perfetas today.

She went, he's not on Dragons Den anymore.

Yeah.

So just a little nice, nice little anecdote.

Also, Beckinsfield seems to be the place

where you see random, like it's a hub for

just seeing people.

I see Smee there.

Smee's all over the years.

I'll just be driving past Beckinsfield and

Smee will be leaving.

I'm like, what is going on?

Walking?

He's weighing at the bus stop.

He's like, I'm going northbound,

mate.

You southbound?

I have a good one, mate.

Well, Ben, you're going to say something.

I was surprised at that.

What, that Smee's at Beckinsfield?

I don't know.

What sort of service station would you think

he'd be at?

The one that we pulled the photos up on?

Those northern ones that are like super fancy

that you can get on.

I'd say Gloucester.

Yeah, Gloucester.

Ben, you're a Gloucester

service.

I love Gloucester there.

I love it when we go to TRS for a nice day of mapping.

I always stop at Gloucester.

And you're fantastic.

Ben's tucking into a seven pound Scott check.

You would not believe you have a chocolate to

cover to marshmallow.

And you can't get a bottle of water at all.

You have to buy like a ginger and custard and

something else.

are medically brewed.

Yeah, yeah.

Next up, Ben, staying on topic on the car

podcast is tractors at night.

Tractors at night.

I want to talk about it.

I'm thinking about this a lot recently.

And I want to preface it by saying that I

don't, I'm not beefing the farmers here.

It's not their fault.

We love the farmers.

But the people who design tractors,

what are you doing?

What does you mean?

Why have you got this gargantuan machine and

you put the headlights right in the middle?

Because when I'm driving down a lane at night

and I'm like, Oh, there's a car coming.

There's a car.

And the next thing you know,

behemoth of the night comes out about to

crush me is the giveaway, not that it's like

11 foot high in the air, but some of them are not high.

Some of them are like SUV.

What's that normal car flying down the road for?

That's that man on a huge bicycle.

That guy's hovering.

It doesn't happen that often,

but occasionally I'll see like it's,

it, it looks like like a lift SUV or something.

But you think others who likes clothes

together, it's just a car.

And then the next thing you know,

this giant appears.

And every time it, it, it gets me.

I was saying now you've mentioned it.

I've never seen a tractor at night.

I've seen it.

I think Ben, you're, it's 'cause you're,

you're from Bristol, you see.

We do have a lot of tractors.

There's just people commuting.

That's a businessman.

I've got to get home.

I'm getting a John.

Let me get in the Lambo.

There he is.

I've never seen a Lamborghini tractor.

But they, yeah, no, it is true.

They are, we have some very nice farmers who

live next to us who are fans of the channel.

And you know what?

The other thing, the other thing about

tractors, they know, they know their tractor.

There is a, they are tiny little lanes and

bros doing 60 down it.

The hydraulic hammer.

No, I've never seen them.

They're not crashing into people.

It's like, you know what?

I stick them in like a Ken Block gym car and

they, I bet you they pull it off.

No, no issue at all.

Turns out tractor drivers, best drivers on earth.

They're just working them through six foot,

six width restrictions.

No problem.

The car's nine foot six.

I want to make it easy for them because you

know, you're working late and I respect it.

But so you think I'm trying to get out of

your way, but I don't know what you are until

you're, until you're on top of me.

Oh, and the tractors.

The tractors are also huge.

So you think maybe, perhaps they like a reflector.

No, they have got on the side.

Like a wide load.

On the edge of the arches or the wing

mirrors, there is often a smaller light.

But often the brights of the main headlights

are so bright.

You don't see that initially.

No, I do often.

No, it's a tractor.

But sometimes it gets me.

Here's my idea for you.

Yeah.

Bike fire with fire.

You get a tractor.

So it's on that?

Put your lights right in the middle of your car.

Yeah.

So they go, what the hell is that coming down the road?

That's really high up in the air.

So I like fellow tractor

coming.

Up, up, up, up, up, up, up.

Out there in the fields, fighting for their meals.

What about horses?

They on doing 50 or?

No, no, no.

Stupid.

No, no, no.

Horses should have lights.

If horses are allowed to be out on the road,

they need lights.

And you're a fan indicators.

You can't be doing this on stuff.

But tractors are big.

And it gets me every time.

I'm embarrassed now.

I've said something stupid, but maybe it is.

No, you started that sentence and then

realized you didn't know how to end it.

They are big.

Next up is from you, Edwin, MG model name.

What is?

Oh, no, this is not an MG for the UK.

Some MG's in the UK.

What are their names?

Oh, I have no idea.

I'll be real.

MG3, MG4.

Oh, creative.

MG, what's the poster?

Cyberstar.

1:00:49 MG Model Name Discussion

Okay.

Now, cyberstar is the one that kind of

deviates, but they are.

There are three.

There are six.

There are

something.

There is a MG in India.

three now and it has, it's mainly for,

you're gonna have to read it for the audio

listeners, the name of it.

If you could read what the number plate says.

Ready?

Hold on.

There you go.

Hector.

Sorry.

It's the all new Hector.

MG presents the all new Hector.

You've got an MG Hector.

And what now we've talked about it before?

The voxel Adam, just bad color names.

MG, a brand that already needs to fight to be cool.

that needs to get a foothold in and not be

seen as, oh, come on MG.

Hector's not right.

You can't call it Hector.

Now he may be running three T66 turbos.

He might, him I am.

We don't know.

You just might, Ben wouldn't have a clue.

Yeah, he would, yeah.

So many.

No, got no idea.

But what's an absurd thing to call your car?

Also just looks like ass.

Yeah, no, this is the MG Jeremy.

Yep, stay driving around in.

I've just got a Hector.

I've pulled up in C in Steve.

Is it like, was it a Hector?

Is that the, that's like a size there?

Oh my dear.

I've got a Hector.

Oh, that's massive.

Oh, I've got the Acre, a little bit smaller.

MG Acre.

I think you should embrace your heritage here.

I think, I think it should be a proper British name.

So Steve, like 75.

Lot, Dave.

Dave, yeah.

The MG Dave.

No.

Steven.

The UK sales goin' up.

MG David, that's quite good.

Little, little.

MG Steven is a rap name.

Little.

(laughs)

Well, we got MG Kelly's brother.

But it's like a, it's like a back street.

He's just doing clubs on a sort of Friday night.

MG John, MG Paul.

And you know what?

And MG Brian.

And he was quite American to me.

No, no.

That's like, that's like,

That's like,

That's like,

That's like,

That's like,

That's like,

That's like,

That's like,

Brian.

No.

Joe.

Joe.

Joe.

Joe.

Joe, I don't trust, I don't trust,

that's Joe.

But you know, MG,

MG Joe.

If you want some, some ideas for,

you know, some, some brand names,

get at us.

I think we could, we could make this.

We'll even like, design the badge.

Yeah.

It will say like,

Hecta.

(laughs)

But Hecta's, that isn't also even the font on that.

It just went, Hecta, but like,

tiny little bit of a time.

That's just, I tell it.

What do you call it?

Aerial font.

Yeah.

All new Hecta, this is the new Fast and

Furious film coming out.

Shall we end on a little forum?

Oh, go on in.

From you, Benjamin.

I have got a DM here.

Okay.

From Daniel, to Costa.

Okay, Daniel, hello.

Hello Mr.

Ben Rogers, not having a spell,

but thanks.

I've got some question for you,

yourself, Will and Edwin, sort of the shade there.

A little bit caddy there.

Yeah, it was a little bit, I did apologize,

Daniel.

If your most loved car completely died on

you, is there a monetary limit where you're

like, nah, it's been real and cut your losses?

What's a number where love overalls logic?

Is it five grand, 10 grand?

I could have bought another one for that territory.

Are you emotionally, financially,

what?

Sorry, are you emotionally financing it until bankruptcy?

Now, I will preface one thing.

Obviously it depends on how expensive your car is.

Yeah, and how much money you have.

Yes.

Of course, but let's go on a rough ballpark here.

Let's say I'm gonna give you a car each.

Right.

You're clear?

William.

Mm-hmm.

Your M3?

Yeah.

No, not you're clear.

I think he needs expensive though.

So you're clear.

Can I have a choice?

No, I'm telling you.

Oh, okay.

What do you want to choose?

(laughing)

That is liquid.

Let's go with your friend.

No, 'cause I don't really like that.

That's not the, I love that car,

but it's like a daily type thing.

So you drive to be a car you're passionate about.

So it's clear on the glory.

Oh, about Mégane.

Would you keep

putting money into Mégane?

I think you would.

It doesn't

cost me a penny.

(laughing)

Your Clio, your M3, go.

My inclination is to say yes to basically all

cars on that.

For me, I become attached to every car and I

will just keep them going no matter what.

But the M3 is the one car that owes me,

owes me so much money that it's a meaningful

amount of money that I need.

I need back at some point, if that makes sense.

I'd love to keep that car forever,

but if I need to buy a house,

that car will have to go.

There'll be a car that needs to go.

So I would probably like repair it enough to sell it.

If I, I would keep it sellable.

That makes sense.

Okay.

But like my MX-5, I will, I'm already so deep

into that car and I'll just never sell it.

Well, I'll just, if that car kept blowing

engines, I'll just keep trucking engines at it.

So your answer is just as much as you want.

Yeah.

As I want.

I mean, I'd love to keep pouring money into this.

This would be great.

No, you would keep doing it.

I would, yeah.

You're on that side of things.

So it's not like there's no hard and fast.

I'm not spending more than 10 ground this car.

I would, I would fit like my little Clio 172 exclusive.

If the engine went again or something,

I would, I would consider getting rid of it.

Because I, yeah, cause I like it.

I really like it a lot, but it's especially

on a lower end car where it's a grand or two

that you're like, I'm now like,

let's say I was, if I, if I turn around and I

was five grand into that 1000 pound car and I

know it's only worth two grand,

I'd be like, man, this is not great.

I thought that becomes a put in the return though.

There's something else.

Let's wrap up then.

Something just started outside.

We'll watch you feel clear.

That's, that's, that's just difficult because

I have actually spent an absolute absolute.

I

would still be looking at what the,

what the car is

roughly worth.

If you have a 10 grand car and all of a

sudden you need to go and put a 10 grand

engine in it, it

doesn't make a lot of sense.

You'll go 20 grand deep into a

car that's gonna, you might get eight back

four or

something.

But again, if you're keeping that car

forever, you might be willing to do that.

So it entirely depends on your circumstance,

what you wanna do with the car as well.

Like again, my Galardo for example,

if that broke, like if the engine broke,

I would kind of be forced to fix it.

Otherwise I have to fix a car with it.

I have to sell a car with a broken engine.

So then you're in like, do I spend the money?

That's where you have to like,

weigh it up is you have to almost be quite

brutal with it.

Also like clinical with it and say,

am I at cell point?

Am I, do I cut my loss?

is and lose that money.

And that's the end of it.

But at least I haven't got the stress anymore.

Or do I put the money in?

Probably lose a load of money anyway,

but then keep using it for another year,

two years.

I would say, right?

I don't think there's a number.

Your number's about 20 pounds,

30 pounds, anything more than that,

sell it.

If the S2000 costs you an air freshener,

that car's dead.

The S2000 is a good example.

Because what I was going to say on your

point, if you're saying that the value,

the fix is the same value as the car,

then you're almost better keeping it.

Because imagine your car is worth five grand,

for example, and like an engine for it is five grand.

You could either sell the car or put it at

the bin or whatever with no engine,

and it's broken.

You've lost that five grand,

then you've invested in the car.

So you have five grand down.

No, my math doesn't work here at all,

actually.

Well, no, it does when you consider that

you're going to have to go there and go and

buy another car.

Whereas if you put that five grand in,

then you will have a car.

No, that's not good.

It's a massive, you know, again,

it depends on the value of the car.

You can't value that.

It's like, if the car's worth eight,

you have an engine for the other car.

The car's now worth four or five,

but you might need to spend eight getting it right.

Yeah.

You are better off selling it as a broken

car, almost, because you're still,

but then it depends.

You might be willing to put that extra eight

grand, whenever it is to fix the car.

Then you might buy another one and you might

blow up again as well.

Exactly.

Meanwhile, all you could sell a working,

reliable daily driver for a car that you

hadn't yet bought and then be without a daily

for about two months and have to drive your convertible.

Is that me?

Oh, I don't know.

Is that?

I'll do it.

Will about it.

Oh, no, that's, we don't know that.

I reckon if the shoe fits though,

you must have quit.

I don't know what we're saying.

If that was snug, that felt good on you.

But yeah, I would find it impossible to give

anyone an actual number of what that is.

I would say it's certainly in the thousands.

Yeah, 100% is in the thousands.

No matter what the car is, you start,

once you start getting that big old bill,

that one that goes into four figures,

if you're starting to go into five figures,

where we...

I think you just gaslight yourself.

I don't know what.

It's four grand.

Okay, it's four grand.

But after that, I'm done.

I've sorted and it's done.

You pay four grand, it does it again.

You tell yourself that you're never selling

the car and then therefore you never lose the

money because you're never going to sell it.

It's great.

It's a really great way of thinking.

You won't lose money.

Anyone surrounding you will not like it.

They'll recommend you don't do that,

but they are haters.

Don't listen to them.

No, be financially sensible.

This is not a financial advice.

It's not.

I think there is.

You know what?

What's the quote?

Is it from Goodfellas that you get three good

women in your life?

I think you get three good project cars in your life.

You won't know when they'll come.

Don't spend any more than those three.

Choose your three.

Deal with the problems from those three.

If you have more than that, you're in scary

territory like us.

Don't do that.

I think that's a good place to wrap it up.

We want to go and look at the car,

but we've been with Will's board outside.

Will's itching.

So thank you very much for listening to this

episode of The Cream Podcast.

We will see you next week.

As always, good guest.

I think next week, but they're awesome in the

pipeline.

That's quite fun.

So see you then.

Cream.

Get the

money.

But by now, Creams, it's got a V8.

It's quite cool.