The New 3 Series, Ranking The Worst Drivers and Road Works - C.R.E.A.M. #75

0:00 Introduction and Rules or Ruins

Why don't tax drivers buy buses?

They can get way more people in that.

When have you ever been in a situation where

you know that will the beast will not get out

of your

way?

You don't know what will be.

Now, you know how bees,

they, is it bees will wash?

They normally work quite well because there's

someone's using a little bit of logic

rather than someone programming a machine of

programming,

programming.

Hello and welcome back to the 75th Carls Rule

Everything Around Me podcast,

the Cream podcast with myself Edwin,

William to my left and Benjamin Onder sofa.

Hello, I've got my own sofa.

Yeah, we are in a different location.

We are next door to the usual podcast location.

Don't worry, it hasn't blown up yet.

At the beginning of every Carls Rule

Everything Around Me podcast,

we ask, do they rule or do they ruin William?

I'm going to say rule.

I've got reasons for that.

Not to rule.

Okay.

Is that the Clio has picked up a cup.

The Gearbox was rebuilt.

This is also nothing related to

Conrad Murtisport, who did lots of our Renault stuff.

The

Gearbox was rebuilt by someone else,

something that might have been missed,

and it needs to be rebuilt, possibly again,

possibly a little bit annoying.

But nonetheless, that car is still pretty,

really, really, yep.

That's fair.

That car is still pretty good.

I'm very, very pleased with it,

although I might say that.

What?

We'll find out why, so yeah.

Oh, is this?

If everything has to go, it really has to go.

Other than that, Gallardo been working on today.

It had a little bit of a misfire.

It was going sort of, rather than,

ooh, good, actually, impression.

And now it's better.

That seems to be fine.

I just hope it doesn't set fire next door,

because I've been doing fuel-related things.

And then the other one, this is big.

Now, you both know about this,

I've told you.

The Mégane returns this week.

This is the most positive news I've had yet.

Yeah, I haven't

had this much, you know, like,

this is it.

It's solid.

Yeah,

this is like, this has to happen.

Yeah.

So this weekend, it's

on, and also the Ghost from Autoalex are

potentially doing

a hot hatch thing.

Rory, many moons ago claimed his many would

be faster than my Mégane.

And I'd like to put that to the test.

So we'll see.

They might need to write an official L.

They should write

me a official L.

Which I guess they have in saying that you

cannot have to pay it.

So context last week, I talked about how

I've, for the second time, been caught by their U.S.

cameras.

Despite the fact that I haven't done anything.

Did

you get a total, do you know a total amount of letters?

What happened?

I beat them.

So after podcast, I think the day after,

a lovely from the last podcast,

I got a message saying, no, basically,

I spoke to the DBLA.

Like an email.

I got, I got a personal city council when,

yo, are you up still?

They basically said, we based everything off

of the DBLA.

So you have to go for that whole long process.

I spoke about last time by sending different

letters and getting different certificates.

COCK or what sort of stuff.

Everything, get my cock out.

Yeah, that's true.

I still have conformity.

And, yeah, so...

So you did that?

Well, so I ordered my cock.

Yeah.

From Germany, it actually has now arrived.

Right, first, if you will.

Yep, that's the one, yeah.

And I had all the paperwork.

And then I just, and then they kept telling

me, I had like so many different email threads.

I was like, they kept saying,

you have to go through the DBLA.

I have to go through the DBLA.

I got a random email from the,

you know, zone people that went,

yeah, no, it's cool.

Yeah, no, it's fine.

Yeah, no.

So anyway, yeah.

It took one person with a brain to look at it

and go, no, that's fine.

And the funniest part was, is that I've had

two emails since then from the same people

go, no, DBLA.

So I don't know what's going on,

but they have now changed on the system and

then use that to go back to them and say,

look at this, it's Eulaz and they went,

cool, cancel your find.

So we beat them again, come with them next week.

Yeah, where it's where I find the bank.

For the car that Ben doesn't own yet,

someone's going to have put a car in Ben's

name and he's going to start getting fined.

You walked through Bristol City Center,

didn't you?

Yeah, he has nine pounds.

Now, tell me, did you go through there with

brake pads because I think I might need to

get a little bit of an extra,

get a little payment on that.

I also, with the S2000, right,

so once I found out last year that it wasn't

Eulaz, I started paying them as I went in and

what you can do when you prove them wrong is

you can claim them on your back.

Ooh, and I didn't do it out of kindness.

I thought, you know what, what kind of,

you know what, Bristol needs that money.

Well, I thought, I felt a bit petty doing it.

I thought, no, it's fine.

Not the hero they need.

We'll call it there.

We've had a good fight and we'll call it there,

right?

Completely fair.

I've landed a few blows, you've landed a few blows.

With this one, with this one,

again, I had two that I could still pay for.

You pay for up to week after you travel into

the zone, the golf.

So I paid for two.

5:30 BMW M140i vs. Hacker Engineering's Car

I got four hours there, I got my email,

I spent it in about 18 pounds.

So I claimed those back and I went back to

December and I claimed back my estimate.

They hate you.

You know what, they're just waiting for you

to slip up.

Well, and today I had the money transferred

back, so thank you, Bristol.

Wow, crazy.

Any car related, ruins?

I know this is car related, but ruins?

Because when I arrived the other day,

I was sat in my car with the old self.

Yeah, an old self plugged into a car.

Yeah, well, it is a VW after all.

So, you know, it's one of those cars that is

great, except for there's just small things

that aren't good.

I have, just my bending lights just stop working.

When you say bending lights,

what does that mean?

That's a great question.

It has those lights when you turn,

they twist.

They go with you.

They turn with you.

Yeah.

And I just got the car in the night and they

went, yeah, they're not working.

But did they, did they, did it just say that

it didn't work or were they actually?

They don't work anymore.

Okay.

The lights work.

I was trying to work out if it was any more.

If it was one of those kind of oil type

issues where they go, mate, you've got no oil in it.

No, it's not working.

I looked at the code though,

'cause that's why I ran the code and it said no oil.

No, it said it could be a bulb that's about to go.

Okay.

The car goes, I'm gonna die.

And you haven't done your other bulb,

right?

And it is that other bulb.

So go then get it swapped.

We have a video to do on that car,

so perhaps I'll do it.

Well, you got a film that I got out of it.

Oh, yeah.

That's fine.

As long as we're on the same page.

Oh, absolutely.

Yeah.

So anyway, yeah, big rule for me.

Lovely.

We're back.

Do you know what?

It's all three.

Cheers.

It's a rule.

rule week for me.

I think we talked about it, but the video

would be out or no, be out tomorrow now,

the Clio.

Am I right?

No, it came out a week ago, actually.

Yeah.

My Clio, I drove it down from Liverpool.

It worked.

It doesn't work anymore.

It won't start.

So the car, despite a big rule,

I put it on coilovers and I got my 16-inch OZ

and it looks fantastic.

Like it really does look fantastic.

It's still a bit ratty.

Like that car's never going to be an ultra

clean car, but it still looks cool.

It's very good.

It has these angry little vibes.

But so we finished up doing the coilovers.

I said to Ben, you know, we'll finish off the

video with a little drive.

We'll go out for a drive and listen to the

noise of it.

So we'll just drive it.

And because my starter motor died,

Will and I had gone the last weekend into London.

There was a car meet on a Saturday.

We'll have the glardo ready.

I had the Clio.

I was like, you know what?

Let's do it first.

First little proper meet of the year.

Went there.

Now my Clio.

might have seen in the end of the last

videos, you turn the key to start it and it goes,

click.

See, you turn the key again and it goes,

click.

And then you do it four or five times.

Then after a win, there you go.

Okay, so I will stand for you.

And he'd finally go, driving into London and

we're sitting in traffic, but it was getting hot.

The car wasn't too hot, but it was a hot day.

And I was like, I'm probably not doing the

best things for the starter motor.

Enjoyed our time at the meet,

went to leave, got in the car,

and it went, click.

And then it went, click another 20 times.

And at this point, Will had maneuvered out of his car.

Car parking space and came alongside me.

And rather went down, I said,

just go, I'll catch up with you at some point.

I did.

I didn't catch up because I had to get too

very kind men to bumpstart me,

which at a car meet, I'll be honest,

a little bit embarrassing.

You know, you tied up in a car,

you're really shut off people.

I go, you know, is how strong are you?

Do you think you can give me a push?

You'll see that and go, that seems to make sense.

It does make sense.

It does seem to make sense.

So we're not all together surprised by that.

No, they drove at home on a bumpstart,

got it here.

And yeah, just as it started now,

fully dead.

So for the end of the video,

we had to bumpstart

the car, except there was a wonderful issue

is that the car

has a fuel cut off switch.

When it feels vibration or a crash,

it will cut fuel.

I think maybe using the impact gum on the

coilovers, I think that maybe rattled it.

So we spent, how long, Ben?

Half an hour?

Half an hour?

Of course, 10 jump, jump, bumpstarts.

10 of 10 years.

Different amounts of people.

And it just wouldn't go.

And I was getting really frustrated.

We popped the bonnet.

I just kind of looked at this red button and

just clicked it and it clicked.

I went, "Guys, let's just try it once again.

Let's just see what happens."

It started straight up.

Everyone was panting.

Yeah.

And then leaning over, beholding their knees,

going, "This is Christ."

Wasn't so from the jump, boys.

Yeah, it's been the warmest day of the year

so fast, it was like 18 degrees.

Yeah, it was quite warm.

The flaps around the car.

Pretty clear.

Also, we have a guy who was washing his cars.

He looked quite confused, while we were just

pushing your car back and forth for half an hour.

But anyway, got it started, drove it.

It's really good.

It looks fantastic.

It really does.

That car needs to come to food and fuel.

We'll be there at food and fuel,

by the way.

We bring lots of cars.

We brought secret car last year.

We'll be bringing another secret one this year.

We will.

That'd be cool.

Are we?

Yeah.

You know, are we had a client with an ex-project car?

I know 63 with, on the back of it.

And if you're watching the, if you're

watching this video, you'll see a Cadillac

behind us and over to my right,

I can see an engine on a stand.

Do that information as you will.

So, you know, we didn't win.

No, we didn't win.

Because a group of French enthusiasts won.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, the comments no best.

So shout out, see you at food and fuel,

rules all around.

Shall we get into it?

Starting off, first thing of things on the

list, things to talk about, Ben.

I have out.

I've got all these things to talk about.

Okay.

Shout out, Car Vertical, sponsoring this episode.

Now, I received a call from my dad on the weekend.

No way.

And that's it, guys.

Shout out to Ben's dad.

Shout out my dad.

I know he's listening.

He is.

He's getting in contact with you.

Yeah, exactly, yeah.

So, my dad in his retirement has purchased a camper van.

Yo.

As you do in your retirement.

That makes sense.

Sure.

Yeah.

What type?

I have, it's a Ford underneath.

You've got to say I have no idea than you remembered.

I own a Ford.

Has it got a bullshit name?

Is it a transit?

It's like a Ford camper max.

Is it a transfer?

Is it a tipper?

It just tips the bed out.

It's got a Wallace and Grommett style.

Yeah.

No, so he bought this.

It sits into his pants in the morning.

And he's been going off into Europe with it

and having a great time and fantastic.

And he, last time he was away,

he got back to it one evening after going out

for some food and someone had driven into it.

Okay.

Quite gently, but he took it to get looked at

and the guy said with camper vans,

they have lots of different seals,

like weather seals in the back.

When someone drives into it,

you've got to get all redone 'cause even if

it hits it slightly, it can mash the seals out.

This logic.

Yeah, and then perhaps like the boot of a

golf, Mach 7.

Bit like that except for that comes like that

from factory.

So he was, that's a bit weird because why

would it have that much damage?

He was like, has it been previously crashed

if I bought it?

Really?

Yeah, so he said to me, run a car vertical

check, I run a car vertical check and it has

one of the highest scores I've ever seen.

Really?

96 on the car vertical.

Never seen, that's completely clean,

which means that no, someone didn't not crash

it beforehand, but it does mean someone has

now driven into it relatively hard.

Oh, he didn't know about it.

So, but without car vertical,

we wouldn't be sure we would have thought

possibly it had been crashed.

Shout out, thank you very much Car Vertical

for sponsoring us.

If you guys are buying a car any time in the

coming months, you can get 20% off if you use

our code CREEN, and if you're bundling a load

of them together, you buy multiple car

vertical checks, you get 50% off the shout out.

Leave no stone unturned, just like we do,

or you'll end up with an actual criminal M14.

Yeah, don't do that.

Oh, actually, that leads us into the next bit.

The M140i, which will be on raffle by this point.

Yes, it will be, so you can win tickets.

You can win tickets?

You can win tickets to enter.

More importantly for that, we wanted to try

our car, which is now done and finished,

against one that was a bit more Larry.

So Ben from Hack Engineering,

which is where my M3 is getting his head

done, came over with his car,

sorry, and a cylinder head, makes that clear.

And he came over with his M140i,

which was 580 horsepower with rolling

anti-lag, which is one of the greatest things

man has ever created.

Genuinely,

it was, it was absolutely fantastic that car.

We thought our car was good,

and it is still good.

And you can win it.

But the Hack car is a step above,

and it's like 120

horsepower.

Yeah, but it was noticeable.

As for driving

on roads and a little bit of track bay,

whereas here's a dedicated track car that can

go on the road.

Yeah.

And Ben wasn't there for that bay.

No, Ben's not.

Also, because Edwin told me to,

he said, what's the best day from his come down?

I said, Tuesday works fantastic for the schedule.

And then realized that I'm not there.

Was it a clash of the bends?

You thought I can't.

I know I would love to have been.

Can only be one engineering in the house.

It's true.

And I got, I got here at this morning and

Edwin was like, oh, so good yesterday.

Oh, you really missed out?

Oh, here's a video of us going really quickly.

No, we're 60.

Well, I call 60 quite quick.

Yeah, no agreed.

Yeah.

Like relative to like a snail,

quite fast.

Yeah, exactly.

We're like full grass.

We're in the full M140R community now.

Yeah.

We're involved, we're about it.

This is it.

I think I'm the M140R, I call that on job.

We're on job.

That's what they call, we out,

we out cheer.

Yeah, something like that.

Ricky's also at LLF has offered to brush to

drive his car.

That's a little bit more fun.

That has 1800 horsepower.

That's, that's.

And when I got out of the, out of the hat

car, I thought, okay, right,

that was noticeably faster than ours.

It's still real wheel drive,

but it was an auto car, but it's got bucket

seats and a mad steering wheel and stuff.

The other, Ricky's car has three times that one.

Three times.

Three times the horse, do you say three times?

And you're already starting with basically 600.

What the hell is going on?

Like, remember the TVR was 240 and it went to

415 and that was warp speed.

Actual warp speed.

So we may still drive that at some point.

And after we'd have ever cycled up for it.

Yeah, we may not be here after that.

So we'll see how that goes.

But shout out, we've got, there's actually

quite a bit of BMW news this week.

Should we get onto some BMW news?

Can I get onto something that's related to

that day, yesterday?

Oh, okay, first year.

Someone crashed the ML.

On the ML.

It's a write off.

Yeah.

It's just a write off now.

You know what?

It was a genuinely one of the most surreal experiences.

So Ben from Hacker Engineering Arrives,

Ben isn't in.

So Jay, the other videographer,

he's there to help film us, film that day.

We're gonna drive the M140i,

wheels driving, I'm in the

16:03 ML 63 Crash Incident

passenger seat.

Jay says, I'll hook up the camera,

it's how we film our videos.

You'll slap a camera on the back of the ML 63

and with your phone, you can see it,

it tracks you on the back of it.

Now I'm gonna preface something.

Please, what a normal videographer would do is--

Normal.

Like someone who, you know, isn't Jay would--

Wow, come on out swinging it.

No, as in like, you know, but most people

would wait until they move off in the car park.

Yep.

Well they set the camera.

Yeah, no, yeah, they wouldn't kind of do it under motion.

And granted, I will admit these two,

you know, they like to speed us along.

So it can be a little bit stressful,

a bit pressured to get everything set out.

Sorry, just sorry.

So Jay's caught a stray, we've caught a stray.

Yeah.

Hold on, I will--

I'm not even here.

I will admit.

I will admit--

Mr.

Perfect, you know, if I go home--

Mr.

Perfect.

Yeah, no, you all go.

I just said I think for 13 hours,

but that's fine.

The, what does it say?

No, on this occasion, you won,

but sometimes you can be a little bit like,

let's go, which is fair.

So you just have to throw back in there.

Just a little fun fact for everyone.

Sometimes you guys are assholes.

What I'm saying is that because of that,

you feel pressured to like, jump in the car

and get going.

So, Jay wasn't on his phone on the road at

all, but he was in the car park just moving

off at a couple of miles an hour,

just finishing like the same on his phone

case to the camera.

So from what we saw, we were in the,

we're like, we're excited.

We're literally like excited children going,

oh, what does this button do?

What does this button do?

And there's a little corner leaving our unit

that comes up to a gate.

And we, while talking, we just had a crunch.

I looked ahead and saw an ML 16,

33 through a fence, not like a long side of

fence or like scraped up.

No, it went through it.

It was just the front left was inside the fence.

The worst part of this all was I said to Ben

at Hackett Engineering, oh, do you want to

jump in with Jane?

You can like see us doing this with Ricky.

So we just stole his car and signed him up to

be in a crash.

And so Jay got out and I think my words were,

why have you done that then?

Yeah, it's quite fine.

I've never seen someone, I thought everyone

would be annoying when I look back at the

footage, how much confusion on your faces.

It's almost like you thought he'd done it as a joke.

I did, I thought it was on purpose.

I thought maybe he'd had a stroke or something.

And then he got out and he was perfectly able

bodied at the time.

I thought, okay, he's just crashed into the fence.

At one or two miles an hour,

just rolled into a fence.

So he got out, he said, "Nasar,

I was busy setting up the camera."

So what happened was Ben from Hack

Engineering took over the film car,

Jesus.

So mega shout out to Ben at Hackett Engineering.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, no, yeah, he took over.

What happened to Jane?

Did he go home?

No, he was in passenger seat doing the camera.

Which made sense, which I think you have to

focus 100% of brain power on to keep it out

of the fence.

Keep it in the frame.

But what that does mean is A,

Ben is overjoyed because his slight against

Jay in crashing into him has kind of been

absolved a little bit.

Yeah, that's true.

And B, there's a new running joke.

There's every time Jay turns up now we go to

watch, there is a static fence over there.

He's not moving, but do watch out.

So Ben, Jay can no longer be trusted in any

car at all.

The ML is fine.

The ML is fine.

There is a scratch.

Yeah, there is a scratch.

And you can feel it.

It's certainly damaged, but there was

actually already a piece of damage there as well.

So it's not the end of the world.

Plus it was a very old, rickety fence.

And Trevor was cool with it.

You could have blown on it and it would have come down.

Trevor was cool with it.

I thought Trevor might be upset,

but he was each laughed.

He did, which is, you know what,

that calms the soul when Trevor laughs.

Although to be fair, the most Trevor reaction

is, ha ha, idiot.

Yeah, he's questioned to my fence.

Yeah, he did, yeah.

So ML63 lives to fight another day.

Jay's, what do you call it?

And no, Jay's ego is not intact.

Considerable ego, by the way,

Jay's ego is not intact.

Wow.

Jay's ego is on

the way.

What the hell?

I just want to film for you.

I

was trying to do something nice.

Well, we started on the news.

Let's go with the three series,

which is just new today, but not for you guys.

The BMW i3 has now been released.

The newest generation of the three series is

here, and it's a fully electric.

So I did a little bit of reading.

So Ben, I can see your face contorting in

just disgusted angles.

Why is I just nostrils?

Sorry, I was gonna say that's what Ben looks

like, usually.

That's true.

I don't mind it.

I think it's fine.

I don't.

I think it looks like a five series that

someone has put the tumble drive too long and

the front ends horrible and the side is horrible.

Wheels horrible?

It has, I don't like that.

That's bad looking car.

That's bad car.

That is a Hyundai.

That is bad.

Really?

That is actually bad.

I don't, I think it now has,

he has more, more A's of BMW than a usual.

He has his bonnet like bolts,

like from an M4.

He has their new light design,

which you've seen in like the IX3.

And then if you look on the side,

that to me now is already recognizably BMW to me.

It's better than some of the other noir class cars.

However, what we'll say.

It's a low bar.

Yeah, fair.

What we'll say is that the previous

generation three series, replacing was one of

the better looking BMWs.

I think it's a very good looking car.

Yeah, no, I would agree.

And to replace it with that is tough.

But I don't think the five series looks good.

I think that's a dreadful looking car.

And they've made that look like that basically.

And it's got the rear lights that are like

the five and the seven series.

Yeah, they're very cross-eyed.

I just think I want to know who did this.

We can probably find out about that.

It's BMW.

It was it there.

It basically is then again.

This is their new car.

That's what it's about right now.

The new class of car.

Yeah, no, they can keep that.

So what I did a quick reading on is that it's

coming out as a full, it's only electric and

IE, IE3, whatever it's called.

No, that's a different car.

IE.

IE3?

This is IE3.

Yeah.

IE3 is the smallest.

IE3 is the smallest.

It's gone though.

It's gone though.

It's gone.

You can't do that.

21:46 New BMW i3 Electric Model Discussion

That's not how that works.

They did though, didn't they?

Mate, this is our Dodge Viper,

the super mini compact car.

Don't worry about the old ones.

I'm related.

No, we don't make that one.

What's not?

Dodge sports car, no, we don't have that.

Then later on, a petrol version is gonna come

in, but the wording on it made it sound like

it was gonna be a heavily revised one,

so I assume like a facelift,

so like an LCI will become the petrol one.

Why is the front end like that?

Where does the front end look like?

It's a badly cut out piece of A4 paper.

It looks like someone got the outline wrong,

and so I went, oh, well, sorry,

there's a bit of a divot there,

and it's got a colossal nose on it.

And they're probably saying,

yeah, well, that's actually mentioned,

but like the shark nose.

Does it?

Does it?

It doesn't though, does it?

Because it shark nose, just goes into a

colossal Harvey Dent chin.

(laughs)

Can I get a third colossal, please?

Colossal.

Thank you.

Lovely.

So that's the only three.

I'm sure more news come.

So that would mean the new M3.

What was that?

Well, the M3 will be that, but it will also

be only electric then at start.

That's right.

Because they don't yet have the reds.

I read what they do at the last year.

Oh, here we go.

It's funny teeth.

Production, all of it is August 2026,

including petrol.

August 26th.

Yeah, 'cause they said that when they're

released in the new M3, they're going to

release

to the petrol and electric ones.

When we're in, what's happening in August 26?

Oh, we'll be in Monterey.

Are we?

No.

Yeah, Monterey.

True out for the first time.

Who's going to be there?

We are, we are.

Never been there before.

Never been.

So that's that, and then there is another

little bit of BMW news.

There is, oh, here's the interior,

by the way, Will, thoughts on that?

Horrible.

Yeah, no bad.

Oh, for God's sake.

Yeah, no, that really is not good.

Why is the steering wheel upside down?

The steering wheel is one of maybe the

biggest blunders in BMW history for me.

It is, you know what it is?

If you imagine the steering wheel in a dream,

it's like everything's there,

everything's where you'd kind of,

that is a steering wheel.

But it's not what humans use as steering wheels.

They let designers do too much.

Designers went, look at this.

What if, this is a rhombus shaped steering wheel.

What if the medicality of the steering wheel

transcended its use?

Shut up and make it round.

What if we made it sideways?

Put upside down.

Benfels?

One skin designer, I said it.

Hey, man, those 10 miles.

You know, someone's been let loose with a pen.

They went, yeah, cool, man.

Can you please form the hidden meaning that a

designer would think about the steering wheel?

Okay, so what we have here is a sort of oddly

shaped square steering wheel.

Would they say that?

Sorry, they'd say--

Right, it looks a bit mental,

I know, it's not very nice.

The disconnect between the 10-2,

the three and nine areas of the steering

wheel that are non-connected to the central

steering wheel is to represent the divide

between BMW, Audi and Mercedes.

Okay, okay.

And what we've done here is we've created a

very ugly interior.

Okay, yeah.

And that's to make you appreciate more the

exterior so that you maybe when you get out,

you go, well, at least it doesn't look like the interior.

And then you actually part next to another

BMW and realize, oh God, what have I done?

Oh God, that looks so much better than this.

Yeah, that is a huge fumble.

Again, also the screens, also why does it

have that Prius spec screen?

Along the windscreen.

Which is a rhombus, I believe.

I think you've got the shape of rhombus.

Or trapezoid perhaps.

Trapezium?

I dream of all words that designers are

going, oh my God.

Did he say trapezium?

Is that a pentagonal thrombus?

Oh, a thrombus is what we've got.

Will any thoughts on the design notes on the

steering wheel?

No, I think they'd say we've reinvented the

wheel by turning it, by looking like we've

done a very bad alignment and left it like that.

And then sort of switch the,

you know, and you could have a pierce three

and you sort of put it on the side and you

can rotate the PlayStation.

That's what they've done with that.

That's dumb.

If you're the designer of that,

have a word.

With yourself.

Give your head a wobble.

No, okay.

And just steering wheel too.

Well, and so then we've got that,

and then we have the leaked images of the X5.

Which is even tougher.

Oh, for God's sake.

That is, that's a very tall version of the

last thing we just saw, except for they've

driven it into a wall very slowly.

Yeah.

It looks like a pug.

Right.

It does look like a pug.

That, that's okay.

All there is.

It does, that looks like a pug.

The front, yeah, no, Ben's got it.

That looks like he's been punched on the nose.

It's going, oh.

That is a bad looking, uh...

There's a leak, by the way, everyone's watching this.

Yes, it looks quite real to me.

Yes, I believe that, if I was like an old

man, I saw it at Facebook.

I believe it, because the screen in the

background that says...

The BMW.

It is, the BMW.

It is, the BMW.

That is about looking cut.

And I don't, again, they put those grills in,

they get, "Yeah, no, but no."

That transcends to the 1920s when we designed the grille.

Oh, wrong.

Oh, yeah.

No, no, not then.

We don't talk about that that time.

No, no, no, no.

Actually, we didn't, we started in like the '50s.

But, you know, but like, when you think of a

'46, I mean, if someone correct me if I'm

wrong, a '46 and '92, even the sort of

generation after that, they weren't like

going, "Right, we're gonna make it look old."

No.

"The old cars, make it look like that."

They went, "No, it's gonna make it look a

little bit better."

Change it a little bit here.

Chris Bangle got a pen out, and he went,

"All right, we'll chop that bit off there."

"Make that bit off there."

"I'll tell you what, I had to boot,

stand it right out."

"Right out, that's gonna look nice."

"No parrots."

"Yeah, we're gonna make it look right like

one of them."

"They've aged quite well."

Turns out, Chris Bangle is from Essex and North London.

What car are you talking about?

On Chris Bangle?

No, that was about the '63, '63 series,

'cause the sort of boot obviously goes a bit.

Oh, that's actually true.

The Bangle butt.

But again, that had sort of like a retro

vibes, but it wasn't, they're not hanging all

the hopes on it.

No.

When you start to do stuff like that,

I feel like you've run out of ideas.

It's like, "Well, Ferrari are doing what they're doing."

So, Testrossa, it looks like an F40,

though, but it is called a Testrossa,

and it's got a mono brow, which is like a Daytona.

I think you've run out of ideas at that point.

What were we good at?

Oh, no, we'll do the same again.

Make something so nice.

It's AI, it's asking AI, go and make,

put all the best features of my cast together

and then turning out, not the best bit,

just getting something vaguely familiar to

all of those and going, yeah,

all the way.

This is BMW.

That's amazing, that's not a failure,

that's evolution.

That's a great question, thanks for asking,

sorry.

What's that?

(all laughing)

I have a thought on

this, you used to have it there.

No, I don't, but I can

get, was that the X5?

Yeah, the one thing I don't like

about this noise class that they're doing is

that I don't

think it looks retro at all.

You can't just put--

It's not, I don't think it looks retro at all.

Retro features like the grills.

That's what annoys me, that's what annoys me.

Because you can't give it one retro feature

and say it looks like the design language.

Yeah.

When Edwin brings it up in the next three to

five working days.

Ah, he's just drawing it.

Yeah, I have to remake that photo.

Somehow I look better.

I didn't want the front, it's okay.

Sorry, did you specify that?

I didn't, I didn't.

No, yeah, I didn't think so.

The front, with the kidney grills,

that's the only thing that makes it like an

old BMW, the only thing.

The back's better.

The back's all right.

Which is a render of it.

That's fine.

That's actually better.

That's better.

But it's not different to what I've just seen.

Because that's a render of someone not the actual one.

Right, okay.

Also, that's a Volvo XC60, they've put that on.

Yes, they have.

Yeah, you're right.

Why aren't the BMW and manufacturers just

hiring the people who'd make the renders?

Yeah, no, just really cool renders out there,

and they go, what?

I agree.

Now, I have news that you, neither of you

know, maybe you do, but this is,

it's tough.

I'm gonna put a photo on the screen,

you're gonna tell me what that is.

That's an Audi A8.

I'd say that is an A8.

Is an A8?

A6.

Don't tell me that's an A8.

Or was an A8.

Dead.

Dead.

They've killed the A8.

They've killed the A8.

The Audi A8 gone forever.

I can't say that forever, but it is dead.

No, they'll bring it back.

I say, I say nine.

They've discontinued it.

But in favor of the Audi Q9 SUV,

which is how much stupid it is.

But China.

World, so it's crazy.

China loved this car.

There you go, supposedly the demands for the

SUV, this is a render, this is not an actual

one of it, is the Q9 SUV.

So it's a, I would assume as big as an X7,

So they have a Q7?

That's the size of an X5 in their

30:04 Audi A8 Discontinuation and Q9 SUV Introduction

terms.

What's a Q7 X5?

No, Q5 is then going to be like an X4 or an X3.

And then a Q2 and one is going to be like an X1.

Stupid.

Okay, no, no similar numbers though,

isn't it?

Yeah, they add up at the end.

No, because I don't know.

No, but the bigger issue here is that the

Audi A8, the boy, the biggest guy,

I still, when I see an A8, even when I do see

like a 3D, I still do go, it's kind of cool.

You know what it means?

It shows to me that business is failing in the world.

Is this the type of talking?

No, no, just in general, the whole world

business is failing because there aren't

businessmen anymore.

We don't get businessmen.

Or women.

We don't get business folk.

We don't get in no one's doing business.

No, exactly.

No one's doing business and going,

well, I've done enough business and now I've

got so much money in the business,

I'll just lease an A8.

I need to get something Laura Seven Series.

That gone then.

Inherently, business comes with the length.

And we need your business out back,

isn't it?

The bigger the business, the longer the car.

We've all known that.

Doesn't get taller, it gets longer.

Businessmen don't rock around in A1's.

Nope.

No, they're going A8 long boy.

I need length.

But QSEV, but then having a four by four,

that doesn't scream business to me,

that screams school run.

Or it screams to me, I have some money,

but what do I do with it?

And that's not what we want to get.

This is what I had.

If someone was in my business and said,

"Hey, man, I don't know what I'm doing,

I wouldn't want any, would I?"

What will taxi drivers do?

But I think they drive taxis.

Yeah, probably.

Fancy taxis, yeah.

They're relegating themselves.

I feel weird.

Those people will have to buy an ass class.

They will have to buy a seven series.

And then Audi, you are losing business.

You already know this, which is where you've

probably made that decision and it probably

makes no odds to you.

But trust me, you're losing business here.

Something about climbing up into a taxi feels

wrong to me.

I'd be getting down into it.

Four by four taxi does not run.

Down into it.

You should, I mean.

I would agree.

No, actually, that feels wrong to get in.

If you get into the back of a four by four

taxi, I feel like I'm going to school.

Yeah.

I'm being taken.

Like a bus.

Yes, sure.

Sure.

Just get a bus.

Why don't taxi drivers buy buses?

They can get way more people in that.

What, hold on, we've just cracked the bus.

And then they wouldn't have to pay 'cause

they're going that way anyway.

No, this might as well give us a lift.

And then you just kind of get like a business

together with the local council to just stop

at certain places and everyone gets on at that place.

You drop them off at the next stop.

Turn around.

Turn around and go back to the UK.

Or you can get a slightly bigger one,

do like longer distance trips.

This is a, you know what?

We talk about business.

This might be a new one.

This is what I mean.

This is what the country in the world is

lacking is why the A8's dead.

And that's why we're gonna rock up in one of these.

Yeah.

'Cause all of this folk.

It is sad though, 'cause that is

underappreciated Audi as it is.

Also, there have been some very cool A8 based things.

You got S8s, you got, like they made a V10.

An A8.

Why is that?

And now it's just gone, it's dead.

So it's a W12?

It's a W12?

A 6V10?

A 6V10?

No V10 in there.

A W12 is what I'm thinking of,

'cause basically it's like mini flying spur type B.

Yeah, I think it is the same engine as a continental.

So like what?

Yeah, Audi and BMW let your people speak to us.

Yeah, we're getting rid of the fossil and

we're going back to a V8.

Now that's business.

Yeah, someone's taking the right stuff over

at Merck, as Audi and Merck,

they're just like niques.

So February 2026, the UK order books for the

Audi A are officially closed.

Mark and the end of the factory orders for

the flagship flume.

And the, in that last one, you could have the

40 to the eight still.

And they were S8s.

So right until the end, we had S8.

It's sad.

It's a tough one to take.

What we got next?

I won't be able to buy an A8 now.

Records I was never interested until they

were 3,000 pounds.

I have put something together.

People with glue.

People make sandwiches.

We talked a little bit before about top 10s.

Top 10, you know, 2,000 supercars,

that sort of thing.

I would like to do another one.

Top 10 numbers.

Number one will shock you.

It's a little bit delirious.

It's nine o'clock at night.

I've got the top 10 worst drivers.

Oh God.

And I'd like you to rank them.

Specific people?

Yeah, no, Jay number one.

Jay number one.

There's just being Benjamin Rogers to the post.

Right, I'm going to have to write these down

as we go.

The rules are very simple.

They're quite complicated.

I'm going to read out an option and you're

going to tell me which number that goes in

without knowing what the rest of them are.

And then once in their last one to 10,

right?

It's locked in, it's locked in.

You're not very nice, are you?

Exactly, right.

So, where we like, oh no, that's for me to

choose when we start.

Okay, here we go.

First thing first.

Middle lane hogs.

Oh, there.

That's up there for me.

In a land, oh, but hang on.

Let me think about what could come.

Yeah, exactly, this is your issue.

We've got--

And there's not many worse.

So just to let you know, there's 10 plus a bonus one.

The bonus one I don't need, you can put in

anywhere in the list.

I will not.

On the wall luncheon, to be able to--

Ignore him, let's get sick.

I'd be happy to go with a two

35:17 Top 10 Worst Drivers Ranking

on that one.

I would be also happy for two.

Actually, I'm pretty happy to put that out.

I don't wanna know one yet, 'cause it could be worse.

What's that?

I'd be less than that.

Think about a police.

No, I know who's worse than that.

Well, the actual, quite large,

rabid police listing is for us.

Hey.

By the way, random anecdote.

I got arrested.

(laughing)

I'm the police.

I was coming off of a motorway in the ML63,

and there was a police car.

Look, even when you're not doing something

wrong, as a car person, you go,

"Have I got an MOT?

Is that legal?

Is that right?"

Is this right plate with this car?

Even though you know you are,

and I pulled off alongside this police car at

a junction at a motorway slip road,

and I did that thing where you just stare

ahead, you're like, "I'm not gonna look anywhere."

I don't know what, in my head I'm like,

"Looking around makes me suspicious."

I was looking forward to staring outside of your head.

Please, please, please, please look at me.

He just looked to his left, arrested.

He's not checking his mirrors,

pull him over.

But so I looked over to my left,

I just thought, "I'll catch a pee for this policeman."

And he was in the car, and he did this at me,

he did that, which is a T-side.

He did a D-side, and he did a C-side at me,

and they gave me a thumbs up.

I was like, "Yo!"

and T is in my pack after that,

and then four other police cars came around.

So you're going number two middle lane hogs.

Now I would love to go with one,

but Ben isn't allowing it.

Okay, it's two, because it could be a worthy work.

But I don't know what could be worse.

Neither do I.

But fine, you're alright with this.

Now some of these high level,

some of these are low level.

It's just kind of, it's up for your interpretation.

Yeah.

EV drivers.

Sure.

Seven.

Okay, now Ben took no time to think about that.

They're middle of the road, they're kind of

annoying, but you also, there are some I

reckon that just passed me by and they're perfectly fine.

Exactly.

I think at this point there's so many that

seven is fast.

Six.

This is what I was thinking.

Still six.

This is what I was thinking.

There is a special breed of penises in electric cars.

Okay, take hand penis.

Take hand people, you know.

Also, test the model why I've got a

particular issue of you because you just

don't know how to drive.

Also, there's a crossover, there is

unfortunately a crossover.

Which is, in this case, the very thing you're looking at.

Assuming that this will be on the list,

but there is a crossover because it's like Uber drivers.

We'll stop spoiling it.

Yeah, no, but that's why, like,

where do you put them in?

We're like, how do you categorize them?

I'll be honest.

How do I put these people in a box?

I'll be honest, I've only got two or three

that are specific types like those,

the rest are kind of actions,

so people.

And they speak louder than words.

People, that's it.

Number one people.

People, all right, so I'd say happy with six.

Six, you're both happy with six.

You give me a little smile then.

I felt like you think that's wrong.

But just as a warning.

They could easily be three.

I'm not part of this.

What does that mean?

But they could be three.

Yeah.

If you took the worst of them.

Of course, yeah.

They're the biggest offenders,

we have to punish them as a whole,

but there are some that fly under the radar

and you get away with it, so we're going to

put you aside.

We're laying averages right now.

Yeah, exactly.

There are some people that are just normal

people that happen to own an electric car.

They're not electric car cars.

Yes.

Right, next people, smart motorway merchants.

And by that, I mean people that are,

you know, the moment of 50 comes off in the

distance, they're at 50 a mile and a half

back down the road.

And that's tough.

The lane saying move over, they've moved over

three miles beforehand.

Even though they can see it says national

speed limit ahead.

They know it, they're still.

They're still doing 37 miles an hour.

Exactly.

Even though it was 60 back there.

Exactly.

But despite the fact, even though logically,

I could speed it.

I'm allowed.

I'm allowed.

It's over there.

There's no speed camera here.

I could build up speed, but I won't.

A policeman might see me from a distance,

have time to merge onto the right way,

speed up, catch up, pull you over,

and kill you.

You do that before that entry,

you bugger.

I'm putting them at number eight.

I'll tell you why, because--

Because they're just following the law,

that makes sense.

Because they allow me to get places quicker.

If they all move over and queue up,

as--

But they don't.

Hold on, a lot of them do.

You know when you come up to a lane closure,

and it's merge and turn.

So you're allowed to go up to the very end

and then merge in.

In turn.

In your turn.

It's my turn, guys.

Speaking turn, don't we?

And everyone gets in this big old half a mile

mile long queue, straight away.

Is that what we're talking about?

Yep.

So to me, you're out of my way,

and then I can sail past you and cut you up last minute.

So you're committing crime.

It's not crime.

Is it?

It's not literally--

Unless it's a red X, it's not crime.

Big red X, you're just flying there.

No, almost a little arrow going,

guys, get it.

Guys, you're going--

I'd be happy--

I think I specified my turn.

Eight or nine, they're kind of harmless.

Sure.

You come across them every now and then.

That's good night.

And all, yeah, okay.

Nine.

We got to fill the back end somehow.

And also, yeah.

Right, well, then I know that.

Serti drivers.

Oh, Serti drivers.

Yeah, they have quite a nine.

Because you know what they do?

Do you know what Serti drivers do?

They ruin a good motorway ecosystem.

Yeah, that's fair.

You join a motorway, it's like life.

You join a motorway, you don't know what the

place is here in this motorway.

You have to sit on the bench a little bit and

watch and find your feet.

Like, joining a new school is a great one,

when you're young.

What's that?

I'm loving this piece.

Yeah, no, no, you join the school.

Get away, start, you don't biddy big balls.

You have to just, you have to get a lay of the land.

Even if it's for only a few seconds,

you've got to work out what's happening.

That's true.

As you move, you start, you realize who are

the leaders and who are the followers,

who are the sheep.

Who's wearing goalers, who's wearing a diverse.

Exactly that.

Some people move to the left,

some people they're with you,

they're with you in that right lane.

And some people are with you in the right

lane and you see them move back after an

overtaken, you're like, right,

we're gang, we're moving together through this motorway.

So your driver's ruined that.

Yeah, they fly up down the left,

all the sheep get scared, they start cutting

you up, there's breaks, there's all that sort of stuff.

Balls, but they work alone.

Yeah, but are we talking about like swimming?

No, we're talking about motorway.

Someone who just joined, you can see them,

you'll see it in your mirror,

you'll see a pair of them on.

Someone that spells wicked with a V.

That's it, that's all you need to do.

Mad spacing in the other plate,

tinted.

I don't care about how you modified your car,

that's for you to ruin, but what I'm saying

is that, are we talking about like,

they can't, they are doing dangerous things.

They're thirsty driving.

You can see they're going across multiple

lanes, coming back in, they're looking for that room.

I'm taking cars.

Yeah, 'cause also, not many of them are good at it.

No.

Some of them, you can see, you can progress

along the motorway in a perfectly legal

manner, and you'll notice that they're still with you.

They make no progress.

Now, I suppose to go into this at like a

seven, 'cause I think the certified drivers,

you know, when they, when they're known as

round, hey, do you just a chopper?

Or?

Aren't we all certified drivers?

We have a license after all.

It's true.

I'd put them at four.

Hang on, let me think explain.

Four.

When I was around, you were just,

you were just putting yourself in danger and

you looked like a chopper.

That's completely fine.

But when there's other people around,

you get very close to killing many people,

and that to me is kind of--

So that puts them, so what, so it's an eight for you.

So it's a eight for you.

Yeah, yeah, these are the most likely to sort

of, you know, murder great, give numbers of

people, so for that reason, 10.

No, so I'm saying, I think it moves up.

So I'm saying, would we have available to us,

we have one, three, four, five,

seven, eight and 10.

Three or four?

Four?

That's what we'll say from the beginning,

and you said no, no, be quiet.

So we've got, if we put them at three,

let's say, we've got that in the middle lane

hogs are above that, which I think some

people will take Umbridge with.

That's Uncle with.

That you don't know that you never knew the

lay of the land.

Which means someone's worse than both of them.

Yeah.

I don't know, four, I don't know,

four.

Okay, four.

Moving down at a green light,

just in case.

You know what, it's kind of innocent,

you're probably quite old, nine.

This is, I was gonna say this,

there is an air of old people to this whole thing.

Yeah.

But you must discount that.

It must be a case-by-case basis,

we need to be empirical.

We don't know.

So we don't know exactly, no ageism here.

So let's go down for green lights,

fine.

I really dislike it, it really annoys me.

Yeah, but it's not, it's a nine,

but I, it's actually seldom seen.

Yeah.

It happens, but I don't think it's like,

oh, something like that.

So, we've got seven, eight or 10 available to

you in that higher tier.

I think it could just go 10.

10, yeah, harmless.

Yeah, 10.

Lovely.

We've got people who slam on the brakes at

traffic officers.

Oh, that's gotta be a left name.

We've got seven and eight left.

Of course.

And one.

You've got one, three, five,

seven, eight, bingo halls for no reason.

Five, five, five, five.

Is that, that is.

Oh, John.

Those people are, they're also offending other places.

Do they count?

(laughs)

I'm picking on what you put now.

Do they count as, would they go into ways and

put the traffic officers?

Yeah, no, of course.

100% five.

Sure of it.

I fault reporters on the list.

No, they, I'm honest.

I considered it, but I thought we had some other ones.

Five.

People that do not dip their high beams,

they just leave their high beams on,

they don't care.

Oh.

On my commute home, it's many,

many back roads and it's normally dark and

those people that don't do that,

honestly, just keep it, like,

just don't do that.

(laughs)

Sorry, I was trying to pick a word that isn't

a swear word and I was like,

you could just don't do that ever again.

He kept it, he kept it PG on that one,

that was nice.

So it's, I don't know if it's worse if you,

you've left it on and then just before you

get to me, you go, "Oh, sorry."

And then you turn it off.

I'd rather you just blinded me the whole way.

I quite enjoy it.

What do you, sorry?

Because you like to flash them back.

So because, so I, when I first started

driving, a lot of it was countryside driving.

'Cause that's where I lived.

Who are?

Down in the Southwest.

Yeah.

So, what?

I got a couple, a couple of glue worms.

Attractors at night.

So, I find it very

satisfying when someone's coming towards you

and you get, you just head on.

And you get to give them a little flash of

like, "Come on, mate, come on."

And then when they dip their beams,

it's like, "Yeah, yeah, I told you."

Yeah, but the thing is, but that's the issue.

You're so oblivious that you just not.

How do you not realize?

But it brings rage to me.

It really does.

I get really angry with it.

I would like to make an invention.

This is not related to this.

Headlights.

No.

Why hasn't anyone made a dimming windscreen?

Okay, you can't see me going.

No, but that's not how that works.

That's not how that works.

Someone with high beams comes on,

wind screw goes black.

That's not, that shouldn't be how that works.

No, they should dip their beams.

You shouldn't have to compromise for them.

Wait, what if it was an auto,

'cause then everyone could drive around with

a main beam job.

So low powered moons.

But we have that now, because we have those

auto dip and we have lights that block out

the car coming towards you.

Yeah, but they don't.

Hey now, we're getting besides the point.

One number we got.

You've got one, three, seven,

eight.

Seven.

Wait, was it no five?

Five is a five.

No, we just took five.

You slam on the brakes at traffic officers.

You've just been there.

And you were the one that sent one.

Five.

I call them seven.

Seven.

I could put them higher, but the four,

the higher number we have is too high.

I'm fine with seven.

I'd like to slash all their tires,

I feel it's also an age thing.

If you're young, when I was younger,

I actually didn't care.

I'm not saying I'm super old,

but I'm pretty old compared to like Ben at least.

And now I get angry at it because it,

it's like a flashbang.

Well, so you, yeah, you know,

it really is.

So when I was like 21, I could firm that like.

Oh, sorry, I thought you meant you used to

leave them on, but no, no.

No, no, but like, once I went out,

I was like, I spit and I just deal with it.

But now I'm like, now I'm just seeing stars.

Because of your age, you're like,

your corniers are getting old.

Yes.

It hurts more.

Yeah, I have to pull over.

You are old, that's true.

And they're off on the side of me.

Me too, we'll do that tomorrow.

I'm not that old.

Yet, yet.

Okay.

I'm planning to get to that age.

People, now I've put this as people using the

D-pad and by that I mean, they're on the

motorway, they are go or stop.

They are accelerating all the way up and then

they're breaking really hard.

Oh, that's a big one for me.

They cannot modulate their speed.

Stuff.

It goes silent as the players enter the game.

All the left, all the left.

You've got one, three and eight.

It's not one or three.

It's eight.

It's not one or three.

It's eight.

It's been eight, doesn't it?

They're infuriating and again,

if that's you, let's get some training done.

It's not on off switch guys,

you can just modulate speed or get cruise control.

It's pedal, it's got, like the limit,

it's got progression.

You don't have, there are, yeah,

you couldn't do better.

47:40 Finalizing Top 10 Worst Driver Rankings

But eight.

People that do 30 mile an hour everywhere,

they do, they're doing it for a 20,

they're doing it for a 40, they're doing it

for a 50.

Does that class, does that class as people,

would that include people who merge on the

motorway of 30 as well?

No, that's the last one, isn't it?

I don't know.

Okay, I'm putting it 'cause that's my biggest thing.

All right, are we happy to put this at three?

Three.

Because it leaves, almost by design,

this mystery final one.

No, it's number one.

It's not gonna regret it or not.

It is not a mystery final one.

You have two left, one of which is a class one.

So it will be, people that do not speed up on

motorway entrances.

That for me is one.

'Cause I've actually really got--

What's the other one?

Wait, hang on, I've actually really gotten

quite a few crashes from that.

'Cause you're doing 20 on the line.

'Cause why?

I try to merge.

Like, because, because there's,

there's--

I did, what, did you get the jaws of life out?

(laughing)

No, there, there is like a lorry coming in

the left-hand lane and they merged 30 and I'm

behind them like, okay, cool,

even I'm getting hit by the lorry or I have

now to do a maneuver where I just rev my car

to red line to get past all of you.

But the clutch is in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think I'm limited for no reason.

So for me, that's the one, that's absolutely the most.

I don't think they are.

They're annoying, but are they worse than 30

drivers and middle lane?

I wish we'd put number one as the middle lane,

guys.

I agree, but I also--

I thought it might happen.

I told you.

I don't know.

Yeah.

No, no, they cause more danger,

but I don't care about danger.

I care about ingredients.

I think it's middle lane.

I think it will come out, yeah.

Don't scare me, does it?

No, because it's purely, it's something I

have to work around.

I can work around this.

If you're a middle lane hogger and there's

enough of you, it's like getting stuck in a

herd of, I'm wasn't gonna say sheep.

I wanna say, you know, and you see like herds of cattle.

Yeah, okay, yeah.

Kind of the same thing.

Or like the Lion King or something.

Do you know lions?

You sort of get stuck in the middle of that.

And like, you can't get out of it.

Wildabees.

That's middle lane.

Wildabees, precise, very good.

But would be as famously quite quick.

No, but they're kind of, they're not getting

out of the way.

They don't understand that I am a-

When have you ever been in that situation?

I was highly tuned hyena.

I thought you were gonna say a higher being.

Sorry, did you hear that?

Yeah.

Of course he thinks it's a hyena.

Of course.

You know, they're kind of scavengers though.

They're still like a predator.

But they're pretty quick.

When have you ever been in a situation where

you know that wildabees will not get out of your way?

What does that ever happen?

You don't know, Will.

(laughing)

In slough.

Now, you know how bees, they,

is it bees when it was?

(laughing)

You know how bees are.

Are the wasp among the bees,

inn I?

We know how they, one of them.

They kill things by suffocating them.

Bees?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're famously, they have stingers.

No, no.

I've never had like an arm lock from a bee.

No, they get around them.

They get around them and they vibrate and

they get so hot, they kill the thing inside it.

That's what middle lane hoggers are.

They're trapping enough of those.

You're trapped.

Sorry.

What?

Yeah, I'm 90% sure that's true.

Find out what bees, bring out bees.

All I saw was bees strangling another bee.

So they kill other bees?

Yeah, so bees are fighting.

No, no, no, no, it's what middle lane hoggers are.

They're just suffocating us.

They're just strangling our freedom.

That's all we all want is freedom.

Bees kill a hornet with heat.

They vibrate, it's a specialized defense

mechanism, most notably used by the Japanese

honey bee killing truding hornets.

By vibrating their flight to muscle,

the bees create a hot defensive ball around a

predator producing temperatures that can

reach 48 degrees Celsius.

So enough to kill the--

UK bees, UK bees don't do that.

Have that, have that some national

geographic--

So they kill hornets.

Yeah.

Wow, crazy.

Anyway, we're getting off topic.

So what's this find, I'm happy to not,

I'm

51:18 Car Meet Naming Ideas and Road Works Complaints

happy to--

Number one, roll.

Right, here we go.

That one you just said, which was about

whatever it was, people who merge on,

I'm happy to leave that one off the list and

take whatever this last one is as a--

I'm gonna, so, no, you can't--

I can't do that.

You can't remove, but you couldn't put this

last one wherever you'd like.

I can overwrite something.

Oh, so that one has to go one,

then.

Where the sun don't shine, if you'd like.

I'm gonna read back your list.

Number one, people that do not speed up on

motorway engines is your worst,

the worst offenders.

I agree, that's a bad take.

That's a bad take.

That annoys me.

Number two, middle lane hogs.

Too low.

Number three, the 30 mile an hour going everywhere.

That, you know, you weren't left with many

choices at the end, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Number four, 30 drivers.

They've got quite clean there.

They've got light.

They're at least above.

Not even a podium.

They're at least above 30 mile an hour people.

'Cause you can get around then.

Number five, people who slam on the brakes at

traffic officers, I think deservedly high on that.

Number six EV drivers, catch and straight for no reason.

Number seven, people that do not dip their high beams.

Number eight, people that use the d-pad.

Number nine, smart motorway merchants.

And number 10, people slowing down at a green

light in case it changes.

I think from four down, it's a bit of a,

sort of a, could be anyone.

You could just kind of mix them around.

We have mashed up our top three.

I think, yeah, no, that's your fault.

Well, as yours too, I think famously we both

did the game.

Yeah, we did, but you just forced me out of it.

Oh, okay, interesting.

What's this wild card, this wild extra one?

I'd like to pitch it to Ben,

I think Ben should choose this.

Is it just Ben?

It's emergency services.

Where would you put those?

Behind me, wherever I am.

So if I'm like number two, I put them.

But what would you like it to be?

I mean, in that list of them.

As drivers.

In that list of them.

They'd be my, they'd be 10,

They'd be 10, so you don't mind them at all.

You really don't mind them.

I don't put, I have no, in fact,

I use it.

Fumless.

You know what, that makes it much worse.

Ben feels nothing towards them,

but he still does that.

No, no, I put them in 10.

Yeah, exactly, that means that's worse.

That's the, one is the worst,

10 is the least worse.

But that's what I'm saying, they're good.

Well, that's what I mean.

It's not that.

They're not that.

It's not that.

You don't even mind them, yet you do what you do.

But you always put number one is the worst.

Well, that would make sense.

I agree with what they do.

I think it's fantastic a lot of the time.

You just like then getting, you know,

wasting their time.

I pay my taxes, I like them.

I pay some of my Bristol fines.

No, not paying Bristol fines,

but you know.

So there we have it, a top 10 of the worst drivers.

Let us know if you agree or disagree.

I think we'll let you down on that one.

We may, we'll visit with more things.

Chuck your top 10s in the comments.

And shout out to the bees.

Yeah.

And don't go near them 'cause they will get hot next.

In Japan though.

They're pretty cool here.

Japanese honeybees.

I should say it's thick here.

What we got next?

Crazy.

Let's talk about,

When you put cars and cars and cars and cars

and cars and cars and cars and caffeine.

Look, we are partly guilty of

it with fuel.

Yeah.

But why does every car thing have

to be a cars and something?

Why do they have to be something and something?

It comes from cars and coffee.

I know, but why does it always have to be,

why can't we think outside the box?

We've made one.

Cars and clowns.

And we'll be there.

And it's full creamers.

We're all clowns here.

The cars are the focus, the clowns are just here.

Couldn't just be clowns and cars.

Like clowns first and foremost,

there might be cars.

Yeah.

They're just a clown mate.

But there is always, and I'm always intrigued.

There seems to be such little creativity,

'cause you get like cars and cream.

Oh, well, why are we not doing that?

Cars and cream.

Maybe we've, we spoke too soon.

Maybe I misjudged you.

But they are, they're always,

it's some sort of, cars, and then you're

like, well, why are stars of the same?

There's lots of things to start with the same.

Can we get one each, just off top of the dome?

Yeah.

For cars, it's a car meet event,

sort of in the morning.

Is it great event, you're gonna be there?

I'm gonna be there.

Right, I'm gonna go ahead and I'm going to

say I'm going to

be motor vehiculars and refreshments.

That rolls off the tongue.

Yeah, no, no, no.

I'm gonna call it cars and crumble.

Oh, okay.

I'm sure I might go to that.

It's a cool thing to serve.

But you, there's only Mach 1 MX5s that are

literally hanging.

Yeah.

Right there, they are there.

Crumbly cars.

They are ready to go.

Yeah, but it's only, there's no coffee,

there's no crumpets, there's no croissants,

there's no anything like that.

It's just apple crumble.

It's just crumble.

What's crumble?

I haven't been able to fit apple crumble in

the name, have I?

So you can't call it.

It's crumble without the apple.

Is that just crumble would be too specific?

'Cause you've got a rule bar crumble.

Yeah, no, but I can't fit that in the name,

can I?

I can't call it cars and rhubarb crumble.

It's just the top layer.

Rusty cars and rhubarb crumbles.

Although to be fair, as far as crumble goes.

That is a mechanic shot somewhere.

The top layer will mix it crumble.

The rest is just baked free.

That's what I mean.

It's free cars and

crumble.

I actually would go to that.

I'm gonna go with

motors and macaroons.

Ooh, I like that.

It's a French

theme.

French theme.

Yeah, yeah.

The materials and

the macaroons.

Vitios, knife.

Vehicles and violations.

Transportation.

And triceps and triceps.

It's a little gym.

It's a collaboration with Blake Sandberg.

Shout out Blake Sandberg.

Shout Blake Sandberg.

The fitness and car meet.

So let us know your best and for car-related event.

Maybe we might pick one for the next,

for the next Cream meet.

Just a random one that came off the top of the dome.

Yeah, it's just infuriating.

Stop naming things.

Stop naming things.

Stop naming, just someone call it something else.

Okay, go on.

What would you call it?

Car meet.

Car meet one and then the next one.

Car meet, one point one, two car,

two meet.

Thank you.

The car and the meet.

The car, oh, he knows.

Yeah.

Tokyo Drift and then it would be car four,

no.

No, that would be cars four,

no, sorry.

What would be?

Meet four.

No, cars four.

Cars four and then it would be meet five.

Smart meet knows.

And then it would just be meet,

car, car meet seven.

Sure.

Okay, that all makes sense.

I might talk about road works.

Okay, and this is going to be another.

Can you read?

Someone's going to go.

Oh, it's going to be old man moaning.

Can you read out what you put in the chat?

Not on it.

No.

Well, just give me a rough two fall out of words.

Yeah, lovely.

Mashed together on one big, really offensive one.

What is going on in, I mean,

I've noticed this, this is a thing,

but I want to know, right, it's coming to the

end of the financial year.

You don't know as business folk.

Of course, I'm going to go home my eight.

In my eight, I'll open book somewhere.

It's coming to the end of the financial year.

Oh yeah, and I always hear this rumor,

the speak of like, this is when--

They got used up the rest of the budget.

They got a user budget.

Now, if that is true, this is why there

aren't A8s, because who's running businesses like that?

Who's going, well, we won't spend a penny,

will we?

And they get to March and go,

oh, oh, I bet.

Did you, did you spend up there?

Oh, for 37 million to spend.

Take up the roads all now, right now,

because everywhere I go, there are road

works, but you have all this budget to spend.

If that's true, someone else knows,

is that true?

I don't know.

It seems to be actually quite a nice little.

What's that then?

What's that word?

Fat.

Use your words.

Coincidence, okay.

Because I came to some road works this

morning on a road that doesn't normally have

road works on it, despite the 87 other roads

that do have road works on them.

And I saw on my ways, it's had a little red

line, no fog that day.

Little red line, I thought, okay,

no, wasn't there.

It was a report of place though.

So little red line, I thought,

okay, normally there's not red line here,

must be traffic.

I can see the sign where it says there's a traffic light.

I get to there, I get to the top of it,

it's taken me some time to get there.

Some delay has happened.

I can see cones.

I'm like, okay, there must be lights here.

Then I realized I was sat for some time,

while other cars kept coming.

Just kept coming, kept coming.

Okay.

When will our turn be?

And when I get to the top of it,

I'm behind a lorry who takes ages.

There is no light.

Okay.

Actually, I'll tell you that back,

there is a light.

There is a light, but there are two lights

and there's a cone.

Sorry, hang on.

Are you making this up?

We're making this up.

No lights to do.

There are, as you'd expect, with traffic

lights, two sets.

No, sorry, one set of two.

There you go.

One pair of traffic lights.

One for one side.

One for our side.

Where are they facing?

Are they chasing me?

No.

Are they facing them?

No, they're facing the trees.

Oh, were they pushing to one side?

They're facing the trees.

They've got a note.

Oh, they're still cones?

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Yes.

So there was a piece of road.

that has been cordoned off by the powerful cone.

And that's because there was a manhole cover

that has ever so slightly dislodged.

He's fallen over.

He has slightly dislodged.

That's all I could see.

No one is on sight.

And the traffic lights are facing the trees.

So it has left the general public to choose

who goes when.

Hunger Games type.

And that's not going to work is it?

People need to be governed by light.

They have to be governed by three lights.

Otherwise, no one knows when to go.

Who made that choice?

Someone paid money to a company and said,

right, you are on that job.

I've contracted you, go and set up the lights.

And they went, right, it is like it's face

trees were off.

We're talking like eight or 30.

They took the money.

They took the money and ran.

So if someone knows something about road

works and how did you go overcome this issue?

It's true through it.

Well, I did the coats.

I would love that.

Would you?

I would love that.

If I had a car I didn't care about,

I'd love to obliterate the cones.

I need more from the construction companies

from the building people.

What's your ideal road works?

What's your perfect assignment?

I think they should be doing them at night.

No, okay, but fine.

But let's say it's your standard meet and two.

Lie on one side, lie on the other.

We're having to move into one lane.

We've got to take turns.

The other ones I quite like and they work

quite well is when there's two men with signs.

Oh, they do the stop and go?

Yeah.

They normally work quite well because there's

someone's using a little bit of logic rather

than someone programming programming.

A machine and the machine goes,

"Well, I don't

blame that, do I?"

I think we'll wait three days.

Green, no

yellow.

Green.

I'll tell you what, we'll let this one go

for 20 minutes.

And then I'll go green.

Four seconds.

Four

seconds.

Yeah, so you've had a chance.

If you're not loaded up on the talk converter

and ready to go, you are missing this green line.

You're at Santa Feau.

He's pre-stage, let him go.

If someone knows something about why,

is it the financial year thing?

Because if so, I'm losing faith in business.

Because you can't go a whole year and then

go, "Oh God, bloody hell."

I'm going to take out their own fairway.

Maybe the A8 died for a good reason.

Because you don't get to march and go,

"Oh, here's the budget we have."

Surely you knew that.

You must have known that.

How do we evenly distribute this budget

throughout

1:02:16 Subscription Models for Cars and Services

the year on the current issues at play?

I mean, that's what our budget is,

isn't it?

It's truly how much money you spend

throughout the year.

It's like us going, "Well, better buy a

Bugatti, better one."

For the entire year on TC, you get us working

on the same car for pennies,

then we go, "Yep, anyway, we've got a kerning set.

I haven't spent a penny heavily because we

thought, well, why spend the budget?

Let's do it in March, don't we?"

"Oh, is it March?

I would bet it's on the podcast."

"Oh, we'd better take out the roads."

"Yeah."

"So, yeah, if you're doing it out the roads,

do it at night."

Isn't it mad that day's day with roadworks,

nothing changes and then when you look

around, everything's the same.

Everything's the same.

So crazy.

Edwin, you've got a car spirit for us.

I have a car spirit for them.

I have a car spirit for them.

Everyone is always going on about subscriptions.

The world's going to end because everyone's

got Hulu or Bingas or some sort of weird

thing where you can watch one program every three weeks.

What's your strangest subscription?

That's a great question that we think about that.

But let me carry on speed.

I think the original subscription is the car.

Now, grant to the car you buy that outright

unless you finance in which you're

subscribing to a finance company.

It's like buying a television.

But you pay for fuel.

It came from earlier when Jay of All People

said something and I said milk is the

original subscription because when you finish

your milk, you've got to go get more.

It's not infinite milk.

But you don't need it.

No, you don't.

You don't lock tin, but you need it.

If you're having a coffee, if you're having a

cereal, you've got to have the milk.

The implication of a subscription though is

that if you went, you know what,

I'm not going to have any milk this week.

Someone would bring you milk and charge you either way.

Yeah, that's true.

No, that is true.

Now, fine.

I admit my logic there may be a little bit rocky.

That's true because I pay my tax and insurance monthly.

Fuel maybe a little bit there,

getting a little bit rophy.

But cars are the original subscription model.

It's, you know what, I'm going to have

somewhere to keep it.

And no

one talks about it.

So you know what?

Okay.

What is it?

Boomer's

saying, you've got to stop eating avocado

toast and signing

up to Grumble.

What's Grumble?

No, they make you drive a different car.

In France, you have to get in the citron or Renault.

Or you tell them that you're travelling and

therefore they let you access your car for a

week or so.

Which they do.

Which is what insurance does.

It says you can use the car within 60 days.

So like sawning your cars like going on

iPlayer and then sawning it and driving your

car is like going on iPlayer and saying I've

got a TV license.

I don't need one.

Yes, it is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I have one.

Of course I have one.

Oil changes.

Kind of watch PicoBlind this,

please.

oil changes.

Well, you you've come.

I did the changes didn't check the oil.

Thank you very much.

You tried that sort of method.

Would you would you subscribe to that?

Would you subscribe to oil changes?

If it was periodic money, no coming from your account.

Tires.

Tires you to try this.

Yes.

You pay it's every month.

You get a full set.

Oil is kind of like, no, we'll then be the best thing.

Because when you had to think about that for a second.

I was in my oil for a second because I was

thinking I could have it actually on the

S2000 where every time the oil gets low,

they come and service it.

No, that would be good.

It would be about three times a week though.

For you guys who like to do,

you know, on a private racetrack while I do

skids, you could every time your tires get

low, new tires.

But you pay a set fee of, say,

£50 a month.

Okay.

And you get a new set of tires every time you get low.

Thoughts?

But, okay, so over the year that,

so I've got like realistic, like £600 worth

of equity into that.

So do I get to choose what tires are they

just sending me?

Capatos.

If you've got cup two hours,

that bring you cup two hours.

Crazy.

But obviously your subscription would be in

your business.

But so you're paying it over time instead of,

but what if you sell a car and they go,

Hey, oh well.

But it would be, it's like meal deals.

Okay, I'll break.

The whole business model is that people go

into Tesco's for a meal deal and then when

they're there, they'll get out of stuff.

Other meal deals are available.

I would say as to Morrison's,

all of your supermarkets, people go in there

for a meal deal and they buy other things,

they make more money off of that.

But that's my point, is that yes,

with you guys, they'd lose money because

you're going through like, five,

maybe six, maybe seven sets of ties a year.

I thought you were just going to say seven ties.

Seven sets of ties a year.

But for the average person, they're going

through what, one set is that?

One set of ties a year.

Well, that's what I mean, you're getting 600

squid for a set of ties.

People at Fishmarket would be like,

I think they'd last longer than that.

That's what I'm saying, that's what I mean.

I think that's stupid.

That's what the money is made though,

isn't it?

I think oil changes is better.

Oil changes is a great one.

I think that could work.

But how?

They just come to your house.

You know that exact thing you just described to us?

Just substitute ties for oil change.

I don't tell you make money because with

tires, no everyone would use them.

No, because then they could come to your

house, couldn't they?

They could say, right, you're gonna pay a monthly fee.

Let's say oil change, I'm trying to work this

out in the spot, I don't do maths.

Oil change costs 80 pounds.

Just make up on 80 pounds.

I'd say that's roughly true for a small car.

No, oil change.

Just oil though, we're literally talking just oil.

I think it's, just starting to just oil,

just oil.

So 80 pounds.

100 pounds, that's a nice round number.