Driving Test Stories, Diesel Golf Gone and Our Watches Revealed - C.R.E.A.M. #95

0:00 Rule or Ruin: Driving Test Stories

You're approaching a zebra crossing and

pedestrians are waiting to cross.

What should you do?

Everyone's flashing.

Come on.

You don't ask people.

You flash people.

I've seen you flash people.

What did you write down there?

What was

that?

You just wrote.

In turn the clip one, it was a huge L.

Hello and welcome back to the 95th Carls Rule

Everything Around Me podcast with myself,

Edwin.

William to my left, Benjamin to go over there.

Hello.

guys behind the camera in the camera.

Before we start every single one of these

podcasts, we have to answer the question

whether cars ruin or rule everything around

us this week.

William.

Rule.

A rule.

A rule.

Trying searching for reasons to ruin just in case.

I'm able to find reasons to ruin.

Okay.

92 and 3 is here in the in the unit outside

in the yard.

And I've ordered many cool stuff for it,

including a carbon plenum.

Oh, going from the guys that evolved.

They are actually giving one.

Very, very pleased about that.

So that I'm very, very excited for.

I've also ordered a quite a cool exhaust,

which you will see in a later episode at some point.

Most of all goes now with SPR and it is

working and it's got its new exhaust,

which is very, very cool.

It needs one more little piece of the exhaust

added to get it right.

So because I want that car to sound perfect

when it goes up.

Shelly Walsh for everyone here.

The exhaust looks incredible and it sounds

really, really good as well.

So it's with SPR, hopefully for Ford starter

motor and a couple of other little tiny little bits.

Alfas all good.

McGann's away with John still.

That's hopefully back soon.

This seems to be okay.

I'm good.

Shelly Walsh will be one week away at this point.

Shelly Walsh will be a week and a half odd.

Hopefully we see you there, gang.

Hopefully there's going to be some,

hopefully Mercy Largo.

Hopefully the microcar, the microcar we tried

to start today, it tried to set itself on fire.

Did you do that?

The Ninking Onk, sorry, I must use this correct name.

But we'll work out.

So overall rule for you.

I'm going to say, I'm going to say rule for me too.

Have we, did we talk about the collecting

cars thing yet?

That we went to the track day at Dunsfold?

Did we talk about that, Ben?

You are the idiot.

I don't think we should.

If not, I'll make it brief.

We will and I were invited as part of our

collecting cars, moonlighting that we do.

They said, yo, we're doing a track day at Dunsfold.

We got invited down in the Mercy Largo and

the, I went in the M3.

A lot of people seemed to put some dots

together that weren't, they weren't dots.

You were looking at spodges.

There was a Ferrari 550 there and I had lots

of people messaging going, congrats mate,

congrats on the 550.

No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't just start driving it around.

There would be some, also, I promise you,

whatever 550 I buy won't be drivable at the start.

I guarantee you that.

So no, that was not my 550.

I went in the M3, bash that around a bit.

That was very fun driving faster on the top go track.

We obviously went there before,

but it wasn't on lap times type thing.

It was an actual lap of the track.

We sort of had the place to ourselves.

with the Nurburgring, I have no inclination

or want to tie myself.

I tie myself at the top go track because that's cool.

I need to be able to see what the time is.

There's a list of times.

It's great.

But no, that was fantastic.

Shout out to collecting cars and shout out to

the Creamers for commenting on the last video.

I think there will be a video of some sort on

Pepsi cars at some point.

I was quite pleased because we obviously

revealed the Mercy Lager at Top Gear Track,

but I never got to give it the beans around

there because the car was unknown,

whereas that was an actual opportunity.

It felt like a

3:30 Track Day at Dunsfold and Shoutouts

completed moment to go right.

Four beans around the Top Gear Track.

That was cool.

Just missing a plate.

And then that was complete.

It's application sent today.

War is cool.

In the next few weeks, hopefully that'll be done.

So I'm going to say I'm a rule for that.

We've had some other stuff and it's mainly a

rule because just in just hours away,

we'll be boarding a plane.

It's not hours at each a day or two.

We'll be going to Monterey, a place that

we've never talked about before,

obviously.

No, we've never been.

We've never been.

First time.

We're so excited.

But you know what, Ben, I feel like you're

the most excited.

You keep going.

He's excited for America, guys.

He's trying to get ever hyped up.

I feel like this is what it feels like to be

a parent with a child at Christmas.

I'm looking forward to it.

We've got this eight year old boy who's like,

I'm off school.

I'm just playing games during the day and

Christmas is just around the corner.

Are you not looking forward to it?

Yeah.

You've got all kinds of excited stuff going on.

And we have more going on this time.

Yeah.

More things are happening.

We do.

Will's been plotting.

A lot of time in a really good way,

last time driving around the area and like

seeing what was there.

And this time I looked at our calendar.

I was like, Jesus, we got, we were almost on

like a schedule at this point of stuff.

The next week's podcast will be coming at you

from Monterey.

There might be, there might even be some

special mid week ones that come out after that.

Could be some cool bits and Bob's tastes.

Ben.

Hi, over to you big cheese.

I'm going to be a rule and it's a rule for,

you know, it's a boring reason.

I think it's a good reason.

I was driving my clear around and the initial

novelty of that car has now,

you know, when you first buy a car you're

like, I want to drive every two seconds.

That's now started to wear, not like I don't

like the car.

I love it still.

But, no, no, but it's the bit where you're

like, I want to drive it back and forth,

like home.

I was daily--

You want to drive it every day?

Yeah, I was dailying it for like a week.

And then I got to prom, I was like,

okay, now at the point where I want to bring

them both cars home, go for a drive in the

clear whenever I want to, but not necessarily daily it.

So I'll switch back and now I'm back in the

golf doing like, my commute to work.

And it's just a great daily.

Where 3000 RPM is slightly more normal.

Yeah, although they're actually quite high

for that car.

Yeah, I took, I borrowed the car 'cause you

left it here and took the KO at some point to

go and get some parts for Fiesta.

Oh, other rule, Fiesta, we took to Brands Hatch.

We won't say it because there'll be in the video soon.

It's quite fun.

It was very fun.

Young Benjamin had some fun too.

But I had to go to Ford and pick up some parts.

No cars around, so I took Ben's golf.

I have a bone to pick you with the big cheese.

Me?

Why do you leave?

And then your car.

And now I know, I was using the car.

There wasn't a plan for me to be using it.

There was six miles of range in the car.

There are reasons for this.

Please explain.

I can't really explain.

Is it because you haven't put any fuel in it?

Well, yeah, it's fair.

Now, I don't know.

I've always done it.

What I usually do at the minute,

because I'm sort of swimming cars.

I sort of go, right, I've got to go to the

Redding tomorrow.

Fuel and then I'm going to switch to Clio,

because otherwise I'm just putting two full

tanks of fuel in two cars and it gets expensive.

Right, but do you don't?

You understand it at the same time.

I know, but it-- You will use that fuel eventually.

You'll get through it.

I know.

Also, the zero thing is that--

You're rich enough to have two tanks of it.

Yeah.

I get what you're saying.

But at the same time, it is my problem to sort out.

I didn't actually take my car.

No, I know, and I admit that.

But also, it stresses me out.

I got in the car and it went being six miles of range.

Six miles, interesting.

Does it not leave you with such,

such grand anxiety?

Yeah.

That's what, six feels like.

Usually I'll have like 30 and I'll--

Nah.

It was like, go now to the nearest place you can.

Also, not really.

I'm not a good idea with a diesel.

No, not at all.

Yeah.

Also, it was kind of smart for me because I

then had to put fuel in and I wasn't going to

put like three quid in to just make up for

what I did.

So I think I put 15 quid in.

Oh, you put fuel in there.

Thank you.

That's been baffling me for like a week

because I got back in the car.

I was like, I just didn't have much of it.

I was like, okay, cool.

Yeah, because I had to put a minimum,

you can't put like seven quid in like even

that's a lot.

It would have been like four pounds.

I'm not going to walk into the cashier and

go, yeah, four pounds on top of them.

So I think I did like ATP, please.

Yeah.

I just didn't understand it.

I put the minimum in the clearly.

So you put the minimum.

Because I miscalculated and I needed to get

home and it wouldn't get me.

No, I was in traffic.

Sorry.

There was loads of stands of traffic on the

import and I sat there for like an hour.

Obviously my engine is idling.

So it's just using a bit of fuel.

And I got, I got probably 10 miles from home

and it went, no fuel.

I had to go to like a service station,

but service station fuel is I'm not paying

for a full tank.

So I was literally put in the minimum.

I put five liters of the car.

And I was like, I'll get me home.

Amazing.

Yeah.

Right.

Well, so to me, it's a rule.

That car's great.

The Fiesta was great.

I was very nervous.

You'll see in the video.

But yeah, it was, it was good.

Is that?

Look, the just days before Monterey,

a triple rule, a lovely thing to see.

Now, not last podcast, the podcast before.

We had a little talk about watches and we

said we would do our watches in the next episode.

Now, they didn't arrive because they,

I believe they came from all corners of the globe.

Mine definitely did.

I think it's time we go through our watches.

Mine came from the north of England.

Should I go first?

I'd love you to go first.

Mine's at least interesting.

So it's been very sad about it as well.

I was really disappointed.

So for those that aren't aware,

we talked about automotive-related watches

and we talked about the Mark 2 clear watch

that my friend, Evan had sent us.

You guys have destroyed

9:00 Watches Discussion and Renault RX4 Watches

the market.

The creamers have destroyed the market.

We had someone sent in a message saying it's

something like three Mark 2 clear watches

have sold in the past three months.

Yeah.

Since the podcast went out about two days

previous, 40 had been sold.

It was 30 or 40 had been sold.

There were

auctions that had like five days left on them

and they were, back in my eye bought one,

right?

You were six pounds?

Six pounds.

I went on there and it had five days left and

it was a 50 quid.

Also, it's the kind of item that someone will

have on eBay for months, if not possibly years.

But even if they've got multiple of them,

you might sell one every few months,

but they've just been sat and then all of a

sudden, there's people like,

"Damn, I have to get up and post this.

What the hell?

I have to find where that is."

So if you've bought a Mark 2 clear watch,

you're now part of an exclusive

club of creamers.

And I'm not wearing mine today because I've

got my new watch.

Well, I found out that your one is really nice.

I bought mine, I've got it with six pounds.

It was a unmolested version.

The eBay description on mine said,

but I was shocked.

It was like, the watches emit like perfect condition.

And I don't want to test out any of it

because I don't want to take it out of the case.

I can't take out the case.

It's like sealed.

I got it.

It's covered in what I think is turds.

It's all worn.

No, that was before, surprisingly.

The front of it's all scratched up.

Doesn't work.

And I haven't, I looked at it.

I took it out of the packaging.

I went, "I'm not."

In that case, I know what I've got.

Alfred, David, you can't, that's a gift.

You can't sell that.

So because of that, we decided we would each

go out and buy a car.

Now, why is yours in a envelope?

Ben's just in a scabby envelope.

Like he's about to go and buy a £500 car.

So I bought that Mark II Clear watch and I

was, I thought, this is really cool.

I want to wear it in my clear when I'm driving it.

But I thought, it's a Mark II clear.

I'm driving a Mark III clear.

So what I want is one that goes with my car.

Now, I didn't find a specific Mark III clear.

But what I found, hold on, hold on.

just for those that didn't hear that podcast,

we decided we were going to go out and buy,

we needed to buy, there had to be an official

piece of merchandise from an automotive related brand.

So either car manufacturer or adjacent.

No, like AliExpress, not all stuff.

Ben, so, I bought this watch thinking it's a

Renault watch, thinking I'm going to wear this.

I'm legit going to wear this in my clear.

Because if you wear a Ferrari watch in your

Ferrari, like a bit of a penis,

if you wear your little clear watch in your clear.

You're a penis.

A little bit, but it's more of like,

it's more of like, oh, this guy's kind of

into this sort of stuff.

So I found one.

Look at that.

I found this.

Right, here we go.

Ben, chuck that to me.

I'm going to have a look.

So this is for audio viewers.

Ben is, (gasps) Now, if that was,

if that was, where's the rest of it?

Where's the dog eatin' this?

So, what it is for audio listeners is it's a black case.

Call it a 34 millimeter case.

It's a Renault watch.

It's got a half yellow and half gray face on it.

Black hands, lovely.

It has a bright yellow strap.

Yeah.

To my thought was, I'm going to wear this in

my clear with a bright yellow strap.

Your yellow car, man.

It looked online like a little bit used,

but it's a person to me.

But what it is, this strap is obviously,

it's from the 90s.

This strap plastic, it's like a rubber

material and it's so old that I took it out

of the case and I went to put my wrist and

bent it around my wrist and I just snapped.

It snapped.

I was so upset.

Oh, no.

No, I'm feeling that feels to me like Renault

Sport Spider.

Yeah.

That gray and that yellow, that's kind of perfect.

I bet you you've got quite a red piece of history.

There's no markings on it though.

There's nothing on the back.

And you've got no box, no box and papers.

No box and paper.

It's not full set.

Yeah, it came on Chrono 24.

Right, so Ben, that's yours.

Yeah, and that cost me £9.44.

Oh, okay.

That's a tough one.

No.

Well, no, I'm as expensive.

Will you like to go next or would you like me

to go next?

No, I want to see yours.

Okay.

Hold on, can I have my watch back,

please?

That's a collector.

Oh, yeah, you mean, yeah.

Can you catch it?

Try.

For audio listeners, that was the sound of

Ben's watch

sailing straight past Ben and into the wooden

door behind him.

Ben prepared to catch that while wearing both

while

still holding the straps in his hand.

He went, yeah, I'll

catch it with his hands full now.

Also, sorry, squeal it

for people who might say, oh,

put another strap on it.

It's got this weird strap that like slides on

and A, it's stuck in there from where it's so on.

I tried to pull it out, but this is so

brittle that it just falls off.

I think we'll have a talented creamer that

listens into watches and making watch straps

and they'll be able to do something with that.

If anyone can make a sliding watch strap onto

this in yellow, I will be very happy and I

will also pay you for it.

Now, mine came from America.

The reason that we didn't do it last week is

because mine was still in transit.

I'm very happy with mine because I'm repping

a brand that I love and trust.

Can I just say, well, I've been trying to get

out, I've been what he bought.

And he said, I might wear this to the quail.

I may wear this to the quail.

Now, can we, I'm just going to show Ben that

we're the strap.

Is it an expansion strap?

I've no idea what that means.

Like when you, that was, I thought it was

like a, I'm going to hand it to Will.

Will can have a look at it and he can reveal.

This is, I love this.

This watch here is.

Is that, wow.

Now, my first thought was Ghostbusters.

Now, why have you bought that?

Have a look at the back of it.

Have a look at the back.

That is what appears to be an official Michelin watch.

Really?

Not only an official Michelin watch.

There were lots of, Michelin watches.

There was only one that featured Babendam on

the front of it.

That's Bib.

Bib, a little photo, if you didn't know.

Babendam is the mascot of Michelin.

When we worked with Michelin at Carthrel,

they, Michelin are very keen to point out his

name is Babendam.

So we know him as that.

I saw it and I was like, that's fantastic.

It's got a sort of metal, how you say,

bracelet, but it's got rubber in it.

Yeah, because of course, Michelin.

Exactly.

It's actually kind of cool.

You see it from there?

I want to come get it.

Come and get it.

Now, it's, I will say the face,

that is one of the scariest things I've ever seen.

That was to glow in the dark.

You'd have heart failure.

Now, now that watch was, it was 50 pounds.

50.

And then the shipping was

another 20.

So that is a 70 pound watch.

So you've, you've

heavily invested in that.

Does it work?

I didn't see it.

It does work.

It's not what I don't think it's on right now.

No, it's ticking.

Oh, it's ticking.

It's a quartz.

The, yes, there's watch Ben going again.

This is a quartz movement.

There is also Ben.

It's kind of your good size for you.

It is.

I'm going to ask about a 33 millimeter.

Surely.

I think if I, if I wore that around the

quail, someone might look at that and go,

all right.

What position?

That's someone that works at Michelin's wearing that.

Yeah.

That's a sort of micro brand gifted to the

CEO of Michelin in 1973.

But I love it.

I'm a fan of it already.

Do you know what?

I wasn't expecting that at all.

Because it's a bit left field.

It's not a car, but it is kind of is.

I wanted to go a little bit,

you know, adjacent to car.

So, Will, it's your turn.

Right.

Now, mine is very similar to Brett Ben's in that.

It's the same brand.

It's Renault.

But I might be willing to gift this to Ben.

Oh, mine's more premium than that though.

Don't tell me yours is mine did not come in an envelope.

Mine came in a dog food box.

And inside dog food box was a box for the watch.

Now, all we know is that Will said it is

exceptionally smelly.

That is a regimen sport.

Sorry, not embossed.

That is debossed.

No, what's it called?

The opposite.

It's coming out with debossed.

Is that, I don't know.

Like words, but for Braille?

Yeah, that's 3D.

Yeah, whatever that is.

So it's kind of plastic, but with sort of

metal bits, but it feels like it looks serious.

That is.

In the pictures, it looks bigger than this.

Now, I want to keep my key in there for my car.

It's a little briefcase.

This looks like something a miniature James

Bond would run around with.

And I think, and I'm not, I'm not 100% sure.

I'm hoping Renault Nerdery has,

is good enough on this one, that this is

roughly 197 Clio 200 era because of this sport.

Yeah, it has the sport logo.

I can't remember, but it is.

In the theme of a dive watch.

(Car honks) That's actually kind of sick.

Now, there's one single downside to this watch.

Oh, it stinks.

Now, Will did say this.

Can I get a live check on that?

But hopefully it's gone away.

This has been worn.

Someone, an enthusiast has worn this.

It's a leather strap, right?

Yeah.

The inside of the leather strap.

I didn't do that.

No, that's not good.

Oh, but look at it.

Oh, that's pungent.

It's relatively normal.

It's not too out there.

It's not

bright yellow.

It's a black kind of dive watch style.

Ben, this is Ben.

With a black blazer.

You need to make says Renault Sport.

You need to make an offer on this to work.

You could whack a leather strap on it.

Oh, I'm not going to fear it.

I will let you come and tell me what it's like.

I've

got one single.

I've got a booklet in there because it

did say it comes with box and instructions

and apparently

instructions.

Instructions put on rest.

The instructions

are in English.

Here's how you set the time.

It does have a date on there as well.

It's a date sub, I'm just seeing how,

wow.

It came up for sale when I was stunned.

I couldn't believe it came in that box as well.

So we have got three different Renault watches.

This cost me.

Oh, no.

Surely not.

How much was it listed

for?

You got a deal.

I think it was listed for 85 pounds and you paid 60.

I didn't pay that.

I didn't pay any of those.

I think it starts with a 1.

It does start with a 1.

Oh, no.

It was listed at 155 pounds,

I think it was.

So you paid a 1.7.

I made an offer at 100 pounds.

I think you said it.

Oh, wow.

I get 100 pounds.

Now, there got to be some nerds out there or

people that worked for Renault at the time to

tell us how rare these are.

Now, that's got to be rare.

So we each went out and bought three watches.

We just heard.

But I decided in my travels,

I found something and I decided.

Oh, no, we'll take another sniff.

But you could watch that.

Sorry, I mean, you could give it a little

wipe down, new strap, and it's good to go.

That doesn't, from a distance,

it looks like a nice idea.

And then you get up close and go,

well, are you wearing a Renault Sport?

That's muggable.

Okay.

And then you get it home and go,

it's the best.

Give me a watch.

Take it, take it, you keep it.

I decided in my travels, I found something

and I decided that there was actually a watch

that all three of us needed.

Now I've bought this on the company card,

so these, these belonged to Cream.

I would like you to tell me what the most

obscure car we've ever owned at TDC is.

Rover Street-wise?

The microcar would be one of the most obscure.

Of course, that's one of the most obscure.

I'm talking about, if you know,

you know, car people.

The, the, the, the, the, the,

the, the, the Renault RX4, you say?

No.

Because it turns out that they made a

promotional watch for the Renault RX4.

That's sick.

But no, Ben, it's not just that because they

made them in three different colors.

No.

And guess who's managed to source one in

every single color they made?

So two come in their original,

this is their original promo promotional pot.

I'll take the one that is wrapped in

someone's used tissue that does smell as well

a little bit.

But in one of these, you take one,

then it takes the other, they are each different colors.

No, we'll do look at the draw.

So the Renault C.R.E.A.X4, one of the most

odd cars that Renault ever made,

a very strange car.

My one or my one's yellow, I do love the other one.

Oh, I've got a blue, which means Ben's must

be, Ben's one's quite good color.

Oh, that's sick.

Right, red.

Also, it's still a silica bag in it.

It's brand new.

It is brand new.

Wow.

Now, I will say these costs the company a little bit.

I think they were 50 quid each.

21:30 Monterey Trip Excitement and CarVertical Sponsorship

The company?

Okay.

It's a bargain compared to us.

But I think these will have to be kept for

the first cream event and they may end up

being prizes at the first cream event.

Wow.

But shall we all wear our scenic RX4 watches

for the rest of the-- Mine's McDonald's spec.

Look at that guy.

John, I think fantastic.

Let's look at the colors.

Yours is red.

But red is blue.

I do feel like a small boy wearing this.

Yeah, they are, you know, a little bit child's spec.

Can't call me.

I love my distance.

It looks kind of sick.

I think that has to be one of the most out there watches.

Who decided to make-- Mine's not got the case

back sticker on it.

Like when it's brand new.

I can't strictly fit mine on,

but I'm going to do my absolute bet if I pass

out during the podcast.

I'm going to say that's cooler than having

like a clear 200 watch.

It's like, if you know you know type thing.

Mine doesn't fit on me.

So, so who knows if whenever we end up doing

our first cream live show, you may end up

going home with a scenic RX4 watch.

Also, I have a feeling we may have just

destroyed the entire Renault watch economy again.

So, shout out the creamers who managed to get

yourselves your hands on a car watch.

Maybe when we do our live podcast,

everyone will have to come wearing their watches.

That'd be quite cool.

And you must show us.

Yeah.

They must be functioning and showing the time

and they must be a real OEM.

Everyone's spending money to get watches

restored that are worth 15 quid.

Now I'm seeing this in person.

I haven't really worn this.

This is amazing.

I don't want this.

This is the Renault Sport one.

Benjamin, how much do you want for this?

How much?

I mean, you must buy this from me.

So, thank you for bearing with us audio listeners.

We will put some photos up up close to each

watch for the viewers as well.

Ben Haffey.

Oh, that's sick.

Yeah.

There you go.

That suits you as well.

It does suit you quite nicely.

It suits your sort of childlike vibe.

Thanks.

Before we carry on, if you're a visual

viewer, you will notice our surroundings are different.

That is because we now are in Monterey.

And that's because the daring next episode

you listen to will be a Monterey special.

But before we get to that, this week's

podcast you're listening to is sponsored by Car Vertical.

And that's because Car Vertical works in

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So there's watches.

What have we got next on the all on the all the agenda?

We have got Edwin, you've put in here diesel golf.

Diesel golf, Ben.

That's your man.

I've got one.

You get your man, right?

Yep.

Dead.

Dead.

In the UK.

Well, it's why I haven't cancelled the diesel golf.

What?

All variants.

All of them.

Just no more diesels.

The golf was regularly crowned as Britain's

best selling diesel at one point,

more than eight out of 10 new golfs headed to

the company car drivers in 2015.

25:00 Diesel Golf Disappearance Analysis

15 were diesels.

However, however, the model is now gone for good.

As its maker said in a statement,

Volkswagen UK continually evaluates customer

demand demand and has chosen in this case to

focus on increased petrol and upcoming hybrid

powertrains for the ever popular golf model.

Meaning it's gone.

Oil sale is about to take an absolute tumble.

Who's going to put all the oil in the oil drinker?

diesels accounted for just 4.8% of UK sales

from January to May this year,

dropping another 7%.

So people have done literally in the last

year, no, no more diesels.

That's a bit as well in the last six months

with the prices of diesel.

Even me, the alpha, I'm looking at the alpha

thinking, this ain't worth it anymore.

Because diesels mental prices at the moment.

Compared to a petrol, I was working out how

you can, like, what MPG petrol you could drive.

Could you drive a slightly more exciting

petrol and offset the cost of it rather than

having an economical diesel?

And it does kind of work out.

There are a few MPGs in it.

But yeah, I can see diesels really dying of

death and becoming very, very,

very, very cheap.

Yeah, just dirt cheap.

But sad.

Goodbye, golf diesel.

I mean, cool.

We still have the golf.

That will be a truly sad day when the actual

golf name goes.

But, I mean, how many people have had a

diesel golf around it in car world?

That's a common thing.

I have.

Yeah.

I've won recently.

But even, I think, like, Mark IV PDs or that

sort of stuff, that is a staple of--

Oh, yeah, no.

Yeah, but the PD is good, though.

Like, as a car, as an engine.

Like, when it was to be worked with the face

of the Earth, "Oh, I don't think I blink an eye."

But equally, if you said to me right now,

go and buy a car that has-- Like,

say I had absolutely no money at all,

and I just had to buy a cheap run around that

I knew would be reliable.

I would go buy, like, a one-nine PD that Mark

IV-- But would you now?

Yeah.

Even with the price of a diesel.

But in terms of reliability,

you just-- That's what I do.

But that's in a situation where I'm like,

I need mode of transport.

You could get a scooter.

Yeah, true.

Yeah, but if you got to get a car--

Or you could get a sewer on and a balaclava.

Or you could rent a bike.

Always works.

You could just nick cars, then you don't have

to pay for anything.

They've got some of the minute cheapest.

Or just ram rate a shot.

You could do all these things,

but we wouldn't recommend that on this podcast.

You could surf buses.

OK.

Yeah.

You could jump train barriers and just get on

the train free.

Yeah.

Works well.

Wrote it in London.

Not true.

What have we got next?

Goodbye, Golf.

Ben, you've been here something that says Drifters.

Bash.

Motorway.

What does that mean?

Here we go.

Always thinking about-- Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

It happens, doesn't it?

Oh, it happens, doesn't it?

We've put things in.

Drifters.

Bash.

Motorway.

How about this?

Shall we move on to the next one?

He keeps thinking.

Are you able to do that?

I mean, it doesn't feel close.

It's close.

No, it's close.

It's close.

What we'll do there is we'll move on.

Edwin, you've put in-- No!

There it is.

There it is.

Sorry, that moment.

I know where it is.

So, you know, this is really a noise,

mate.

So, empty motorway.

Motorway is at night.

Right.

Just at night?

Shouldn't night.

Usually at night when they're quieter or the evening.

or when they're less people around.

Usually when I commute home.

Only when you're commuting.

Well, off I commute quite late in the evening.

So, what I'm saying is that I experience it

on my way home because there's not very many

people on motorway, but you get the odd car--

Before or after Greg's, just a quick question.

I don't go to Greg's anymore.

Oh, well.

That was mine.

That was my back in my day.

Wrong, do you have it, though?

No, I used to go to M&S

now.

Oh!

I get a little salad or a little pasta.

I used to get a massive greasy pizza and a chocolate bar.

My life, anyway.

I will be driving home and there will be a

person who will be in the middle lane.

Sure.

Now, I don't like that.

No, I'm sorry.

I'm not going to undertake you

because that would be illegal.

So, I have to then go around

you.

Sure, not illegal.

Anyway.

Well, so I go around them,

so I go to the middle lane and it's the out of lane.

Like, I'm back in the left-hand lane,

right?

And when that happens, they will go,

"Oh, I am in the middle lane."

And they'll go with the middle lane,

sorry, the left-hand lane.

And I look back in the rear view mirror and

they'll just be drifting back in the middle lane.

It's like they're magnetic.

And I always see it.

And I see it as well when you go up behind

someone in the middle lane and they move out

of your way.

And then then technically they're in the correct lane.

You're in the correct lane to take.

And the second you're past them,

they move back in the line.

What's that about?

I would love to know, I'd love to speak to

someone that does this and just understand,

do you think it's safer?

Because you're right in the middle.

You see that you're not on the side.

But also run off.

How worried do you?

Do you think something's going to run out

from the road?

What do you think is going to happen?

Surely the left lane is that you would feel the safest.

You can get off the edge.

You've probably got a hard shoulder,

you know, closest.

If you do have one, all the exits are right there.

People can only go past you on one side.

Whereas the fast lane is, or whatever lane

you want to get on technical.

It's lane 4.5, actually.

is not that safe because obviously you've got

people undertaking you.

You don't have a hard shoulder,

blah, blah, blah.

So the left lane is where you need to be.

So why is it with the middle?

Why is it?

There's only one occasion where I think it's

fine to do that is I do occasionally where if

you're in the left-hand lane and there's not

a round and then you see someone broken down

on parked on the heart on the heart shoulder,

all their movements middle lane just in case.

Just in case.

Just in case.

No, what you want to do is get close to the

left side as possible.

So it just rocks their car and all that.

So I you're doing something trip over.

That's good courtesy.

I will do that because I have a fear of that.

I don't think that's once you're past that,

you're back in my left-hand lane.

I don't know if that's a thing in like the

thing we're taught in the UK,

but I know in other countries that is a legal thing.

If there's someone on the heart shoulder,

you must move into the middle lane.

I just want to be as far away from you as possible.

Yeah, I don't want to.

You just don't like them.

I just get away from it.

Yeah, just get away from it.

You're like, uh, broken down car.

Yeah, disgusting.

Yeah.

What is it?

None of the people listening to this are

going to be the people doing it.

And the other people doing it and you are

listening, you probably won't admit it.

So we have to get, uh, we need to get a swing

to get something.

It's like we have to capture them.

Yeah.

Like, cause they're not, they're not going to

come to us.

No.

So there are only ways to go out and find

them on the motorway.

Should be quite easy.

T-pack them.

Yeah.

Pull them to the side.

They're obviously a bit shit off at that point.

Suck over their head.

Say roll out of the window and then go,

why are you in the middle lane then?

Why did you do this?

I have interest like I'm just doing some research.

I don't think they will know.

No, I agree.

I think they'll just be like,

that's why I think they do it.

I think it's because they are so idiotic.

These people also might have well to do jobs.

They might be brain surgeons for all we know.

But as soon as you get in the car,

they don't see anything wrong with it.

No.

They're like, well, I've just chosen this.

I'm driving.

I'm just driving.

Why don't you just go around me?

This is, but you wouldn't sit in the middle

of your sofa.

You have a side.

Ben, what side do you sell on the sofa?

I sit on the right hand side with the arm.

I have, I have, I have a very good set up for my sofa.

Here we go.

Okay.

I call it the I call it the driver's seat.

Okay.

My sofa is in...

Do you say to your girlfriend,

I'm in the driver's seat?

I've had

that.

My TV is in the corner of my living room.

My sofa is

in the middle of the room.

My

living space is like, I've got my table and

chairs and my sofa in one room.

The split of the room is I have the sofa in

the middle of the room and it's like almost

two separate rooms.

Okay, sure, sure.

Okay.

It splits it between them.

It splits it.

The sofa is in the middle of the room,

like, cutting that off.

Fantastic.

Well, it's full of feng shui there.

But basically, what it means is that it

actually is very nice.

What it means is that...

Because it teaches a diagonal on the sofa's

in the middle of the room.

On the right hand side of the sofa,

you basically get the perfect angle.

And it's one of those...

Straight on.

No, no, no, no, no.

Exactly.

The TV is obviously angled away from the

sofa, kind of.

But if you're in that part of the sofa,

you are literally sat like you're in a lazy body.

Fantastic.

And I've got the footrest, that's it.

So everyone else on the sofa is...

So your girlfriend's just looking directly

into the sun or...?

She'll sit.

She'll sit.

Well, she'll usually sit next to me or on the

other side of the sofa.

She'll sit on a dining room chair that's kind

of awkwardly in the other side of the sofa.

No, I will sit, but I will sit.

What was you asking?

What we're saying is...

Look at this sofa here.

Yeah.

An absolute mentalist would choose to sit.

This is a two-seat sofa.

So you have a camera.

You've got a three-seater.

You wouldn't sit bang in the middle unless

there were already people on the left and the right.

It's still vulnerable.

You'd go to the armrest.

This is your hard shoulder.

But that's the thing.

You feel more vulnerable.

So why do they do that?

I'm effectively sat in the fast lane,

am I so far?

Well, it depends on what country you're in.

In the UK, I've been the fast lane.

I'm in the slow lane because I've got L-shaped sofa.

So I'm chilling in the slow lane,

feet up.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I don't know.

You're not going to sit on the sofa.

I could choose left or right,

doesn't matter.

But do you not have a seat where you go to?

This guy's under taking.

So you're always people that go on the

motorway and then you just decide where to

drive on, how you feel?

Pretty much.

Me and Edwin, I'm sat in the fast lane at 90

and then Edwin sat-- You're probably not.

You're probably not.

You're on the sofa right now.

But three and a half years.

And then you're sat on the sofa,

Edwin, just in the slow lane.

Yeah, just chilling.

I'm with the trucks.

And you're your feet up.

Me and the boys, me and the trucks,

we're just chilling.

But we could detain one of these cretins.

One of these people, just to question them.

That's all we want.

We want a sort of simple interrogation style scene.

24 hours in a police custody type thing.

We're probably not going to have enough to

hold you there.

So we're just going to have the 24 hours.

You can know comment a few times,

find you're well within your own rights.

But we will get you.

We're going to find out.

And we'll find out why you did it and the

real reason, the real cause behind it all.

Because you're all stupid.

Do you really not have a seat on your sofa,

you go to?

I could do either or.

Don't you also have an armchair that you tend

to armchair?

I'm just one happy, but my armchairs are

faced away from that sort of guest armchair.

It's not particularly well set up for TV.

But my sofa face is directly,

you could be in either seat and you're

directly facing the TV.

Yeah, that's why I'm at angled seats.

Anything that angles to face the TV is wrong.

But just get rid of your TV.

But then I'll watch the window and watch

someone else's TV.

Give me their window.

Okay.

You won't get in trouble.

Don't worry.

It's fine.

You can do that.

Yeah.

of TV licensing, man.

I'm here to see if you've got a TV license

and you just sit down for an hour and watch

something and go, "Yeah, you certainly do."

Yeah, you do.

That was a good program that was,

doesn't it?

What's on there?

That's my dream job.

Ben, you've put it here.

No, don't.

I'm not going there yet.

A little bit of...

I didn't put that in.

Yeah.

No.

A little bit of retention there.

Sorry.

Two words.

Can you say, "Coming up"?

36:00 Creamers Crashing Dash Cam Stories

Coming up, we have something for Ben.

Creamers crashing, which sounds like a sort

of biscuit match-up.

The other night, Rory of Autalex sent,

we have a big group chat for TC and he sent

into the WhatsApp group saying,

"Ha ha ha, have you seen this or something on

those lines?"

And it is a dash cam of a lorry and a car,

almost having quite a big collision.

Not good.

It falls onto the heart.

If you listen closely, the person is just

listening to the podcast.

Listen to the podcast.

This podcast.

That's not the first time this has happened.

No, but more importantly, I want to make

note, the creamer, the person listening to

the podcast was in the right,

because of course they were.

Really?

Because the sort of people that listen to

this podcast, we're well educated,

we're respectable on the motorway,

we drive nicely, we keep comments clean on

YouTube and around the internet,

we let people know we're creams.

That's how you know, because we're,

no creamer is wrong in, I don't want to see

anything from the other angle of them

listening to the cream, that's bad.

This person was found listening to the cream

podcast, as he cut someone up and pulled

forth the motorway.

Do you know what they'd be listening to?

I think they'd be listening to the auto-alex podcast.

Oh yeah, no, that makes sense.

Or perhaps Ben Fowler, or the Doug De Mio podcast.

That's exactly who they're listening to.

They'd be found listening to.

Doug De Mio is podcasting.

We were cars and whoever podcast,

wearing nothing but sandals.

Yeah, exactly.

We were Ben Fowler and Alex just catching a stray phone.

I couldn't think of anyone else,

but now you've said Doug De Mio.

This is the William Shana episode.

This barefoot, Doug De Mio listening to

Cretin, sitting in the middle name,

cutting people out.

Yeah, he was probably sat there,

but upwards of 20 minutes and then went,

"Ooh, Mike's it here?"

and just cut straight in front.

That's because his mind was numbed by the

silly things that Doug was saying.

You can pull in front of trucks,

they will have to stop.

But you can hear in that first section,

one of those

talking, it's like, what is that?

It cuts down, it's like,

yeah, it's just the podcast.

So, listen, please don't crash listening to us.

But also, just know that if you do,

we're on your side.

Unless you remember who was listening to us

and just said, this is fantastic girl-of-marketing.

Just like by having it playing in crash

compilations is perfect.

So we've had two of those.

One wasn't a crash, one was just a,

like, some sort.

Neither were crashes.

I thought that one was-

Both dash cam videos.

Yeah.

They're near misses, for sure,

yeah, both of them.

Reasons to post your dash cam on the internet

means something has happened.

Yeah, exactly.

So stay safe out there, guy.

Yeah, stay safe.

But if you do happen to have anything happen

and you will listen to it, post it on the internet.

It's like UV frames.

Fantastic.

We'll send you 250 pounds.

Then Will, Ben will send you 250,000 pounds

of cash in the post.

And Renault watch.

The only thing that I think will make it

better is if it was like tracks at night or

lorries, plague.

Oh, that would be amazing.

That would be good.

We've got--

That would be amazing.

That would be good.

Hoddle.

Crashing detractors at night,

fantastic.

So the one that Rory sent was a car to a caravan.

Oh, Paul.

Paul, you know the man that did it.

I don't know, I mean, it might not be cool,

Paul.

It's a lorry with like a decent sized gap.

I'm sorry, Rory, you say.

Another lorry in front, maybe a Mercedes-actros.

A cab over or was it?

I think it's a cab over.

Yeah, there's no, it's, yeah.

John, that's why.

And a Skoda Yeti, Tonya Caravan,

tries to basically, comes up the middle lane

and tries to tuck it in front of,

in between the two lorries and almost causes

a big crash and then the other one.

That is a big job.

I knew it.

I knew it would be.

It's a Mercedes van, just overtaking a Mac,

piss.

He's listening.

But that's, that's Creamers Crashing.

Fantastic, don't be doing that.

Don't crash.

If you do have a near-missile and you listen

to the Cream podcast, do send it in because--

If you do.

Yeah.

What we got next?

Ben has put in, hello.

Percentage of people who work on cars said Edwin.

And I did that because Edwin's hands were

full at the time.

Whoa, bloody hell, Ben.

You can't be talking about that.

Wait, that was in confidence.

We've got some monetary.

Yeah.

Oh, Ben's gone.

Ben's gone.

He was working on a car, I think.

There you go, crazy thing to come out with at

the time of the day.

Oh, that reminds me.

I had a thought when we were working on the

mercy

41:00 DIY Car Owners Percentage Debate

cargo, what do you think, the highest,

oh, how do I word this?

The highest percentage of a certain car model

owners

work on their cars.

Okay.

We were thinking, we were working on the

mercy of cargo, and I thought that their

mercy of cargo owners are not working on

their own cars now.

But there's so few of them that us working on

it makes quite a higher percentage,

whereas Golfs, there's billions out there,

and there's lots of people working on them,

but still, they can't be that high of a percentage.

I reckon mercy of cargo would be higher than a Golf.

That's what I'm thinking.

Unless you were going like deeper dive

models, like it's a Golf GTI.

No, or like, you can't be like Sester

Elemento, like obviously there's not there,

but just kind of more broad cars.

It reminds me of the what's there more of,

what's there more of wheels or doors,

Ben?

It's cool.

Be doors, but at book, do you count bearings as wheels?

No.

You don't?

No.

Wheels or gears?

No.

No, it's not wheels.

What's a wheel?

Wheels.

What does that mean?

It must have a tire out around it.

In traffic, that's true.

But then what's a train, trains don't know of that.

Trains have wheels, what about the--

If you go to Paris, their underground system

have rubber wheels, that's why their trains

is quieter than London.

(laughs)

What about like a rolly table or something?

I doesn't have tires on the wheels.

Yeah.

But they're definitely wheels.

Okay, well then what wheels?

I don't know.

A gear isn't a wheel.

Okay, no.

A wheel is, anything that it rotates like

that, but it has, for example,

like a belt system, it's pushing against it,

whereas a gear locks in, that makes sense?

But that's what a wheel does on a road.

It rolls against the road.

Is that a wheel?

A bearing is not a wheel, because a bearing

is, it's two separate parts.

One is meant to be static in central side.

Oh, it's got balls in it as well.

Yeah, balls.

But it is round.

But only half of it moves.

I would deem it, there is some sort of,

it is making something.

So let me ask you this then.

What car brand has the

highest percentage of people working,

sorry, no, model has

the highest percentage of people working on

their cars, and obviously old stuff is gonna

start going, if you look at an old alpha

junior or something, okay, most people are,

but what's the highest percentage?

It's got a master, but--

I'm sort of Ford, I think.

But master's got lots of normal cars.

But the MX-5 exists.

I think it might be something like a Porsche.

People are always doing stuff.

Yeah, but lots of them have stuff done by people.

This is true though, that is true.

So we're talking DIYers.

We're talking doing it themselves.

And what are you class?

Is it changing--

I'm no longer at school, but thank you for asking.

Is it changing like an air fresher?

Just working on their own karma.

So you would consider--

It has to have hope.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'd say that.

Anything that you wouldn't, that most people

would probably have done by a garage or by

whatever a local whom's never.

I'm just playing devil's advocate.

Yeah, it's cleaning your own car,

working on your car.

No.

No, no, no.

Or usually you pay a man to do it.

No, no, this has to be--

The maintenance and modification.

How about that?

That is not bad.

That is not bad, man.

Maintenance is kind of maintenance,

but Ben, come on, you know, come on.

Stop looking into our eyes.

Stop being facetious.

Sorry, I'm getting hairs everywhere.

I would say--

You demon.

Do you know what, I'm gonna say Renault's up there.

I think that's quite a good point.

It's got to be BMW.

Oh, that's good for you.

I'm thinking like three series,

but then there are so many normal,

when you think of how many 320Ds are there?

There you go, that's that are just being

serviced at generic garage.com.

Always skews it, 'cause you think our demon,

sorry, I think about Ben again,

BMW, but then an X1, nobody's working on their X1.

So what is it?

I think it could be like Ford.

No, but there's too many falls out there,

too many normal fords being--

I think it would be super close.

I've got to be.

Of some variety, because there are probably

the majority of them are the people who just

give it to a specialist do it,

but there are lots of people who just do,

I'll do the spark plugs, I'll do the brakes,

I'll do a headlight, I'll do whatever it is,

I'll do those basic things myself,

'cause this is how I can afford it.

But there's a lower number of those cars,

so the percentage is higher.

GTR.

GTRs.

GTRs got me up there.

GTRs.

GTR, but that's, I would say--

Exactly.

But that's, they're also dead.

So I think that's not the owners.

No, as a friend, really.

Yeah, but that's not the worst.

Bro said when, when did I hop?

Yeah, but, yeah, okay.

TVRs got me up there.

Anything that's a dead brand?

Yeah.

MG.

MG, surely you've got some people working on that.

No, I've got all the Chinese ones.

Yeah, so that's not really MG.

I guess if you went for a specific model,

you might get--

Oh, I know.

Because not many people with a ZT are

probably having it looked after by a--

No, they do.

They're doing themselves.

So one for the creamers.

Let's have a discussion.

Let's have some ideas in the comments.

Science, please.

Facts and science.

Don't make stuff up like we did.

Like benders.

I don't make anything like some stuff.

What we got next?

That's actually really involved me.

I keep thinking about it now.

Anyway, oh, we had a thing sent in,

a photo sent in by a man whose name,

can't just about see that.

His name is James.

His name is James.

I don't know what his surname is.

I don't know if I can say his surname.

But he sent in an email saying,

I am creaming in an F-40 today.

Okay, from we did ask recently,

what are your best cream locations,

podcast specific place?

And James said--

And James said--

How can I just win that one slide?

Just gonna flex on you real quick.

So here is a photo of an F-40 and then just

for proof is him listening to tractors at

night inside the F-40.

Is it his car?

We don't know that.

We don't know that.

Doesn't really matter.

Again, we do not respond to emails.

Very rarely anyway.

What we do is we get the email.

If we wanna talk about it, we'll talk about

it on the podcast and this is your response.

So James, is that your F-40?

Are you flexing on us?

I don't know.

And also he said, obviously F-40 doesn't have

car play, so you have to listen to it on a

Bluetooth speaker in there.

Extra points.

Which would indicate that he was at least driving it.

Yeah, it's true.

You wouldn't take a Bluetooth,

you could just play it on your phone if you

were just sitting there still.

So what's the sitster, James?

Tell us what's going on.

You still win there, James.

Yeah, you definitely win.

Best cream location of the week.

If anyone couldn't, and it has to be legal.

Yeah.

You can't just break into someone's car and

say, well, I was listening to tractors at

night and Karen F1.

I did not in a cell, but still.

And no AI.

No AI, no AI.

We know.

What we got next?

We got next.

News from men.

Will he come prepared?

Will he know what this is about?

Will he come with residence?

This is the Hennessy Blackbird.

Ben, you told us about this?

This I thought was quite cool,

and we were at TRS when it got announced,

and I looked over at these guys and said,

guys, and they didn't seem to care.

So I'm gonna tell you all the creamers,

maybe your care.

The Hennessy Blackbird is Hennessy's next car.

I believe they only make one at once,

not one car, but one model at once.

They have the, is it the F5?

Yeah, something like that.

Is this the Venom?

Which I'm still yet to see anywhere.

Apparently that's gonna be in production until 2008.

So this is a, I'll be real with you,

it looks like a watchdogs car.

Well, Ben, you two should like it a lot.

Because it's got a cool name.

Well, it's cool.

Do you know why?

It's cool because it's all based around the

actual Blackbird, around the plane.

It's basically meant to be inspired by the

SR-71 Blackbird, which Will will be over

there absolutely just fizzing over the car.

It's one of my favorite things in on Earth.

I think they said also the exhaust of one of

the, the exhaust of this car is supposed to

look like an exhaust of a plane.

It's kind of like a four, like imagine a

Zonda that you tried to explain to an Italian

for a phone and they just kind of got it wrong.

Okay, I can see in the wings there,

the wings there, the sort of that lean in,

that's pretty cool.

I think it looks cool.

Well, if you look at the roof scoop there in

the bottom of the roof line,

it's got P1 vibes.

That is a McLaren P1.

That is, if you just showed me that,

if you went on coddle of the day,

and I looked at that, I'd go McLaren P1,

easy, one and done.

And the interior's got like,

it's got a lot of analog dials and yeah,

it looks pretty cool.

Now, the cool stuff.

Does it do 2,000 miles an hour?

Now, this is what's interesting is that I

think they're going for the enthusiast market.

Yes.

Not necessarily, 'cause the Hennessy for

those don't know, no, they did the Venom,

which was, I believe the first would at one

point, you know?

They tried, yeah, I think it was--

It was up there.

It was a weird controversial claim.

Around like the sort of, I guess,

later era of Briati Veyram, they have the

Venom F-5, which I don't know much about,

but this is--

No, that will, that will--

I'll tell you the top speed.

Gone.

220.

Oh, so that is a 10th of a black,

is it black by 2200?

I think that's the sort of knownness we need.

That's how you know it's on that plane.

Is that true?

It's because I don't have a look.

I'm pretty sure that's true.

Anyway, I'm gonna say, I think I've heard

murmurs, I wanna say it's got 16 cylinders.

Wow.

Okay.

I'm gonna say it's a V16 quad turbo.

Okay.

It is a 6.2 liter NA V8, targeting 800

horsepower manual rear-wheel drive.

What?

Jesus.

So

they've gone, screw all this mad stuff.

There's no point

fighting this fight anymore.

The Gatsy's gonna win, China's gonna win.

Let's just make a cool car that drives nicely.

Sat, I mean, they still have 800 horsepower.

So their target is 800 to 850.

Correct.

800 to 850, 'cause obviously the Venom or the

F5, whatever it is, is 1,000-screlion,

bajillion horsepower.

It is also SR-71 Blackbird did Mach 3.2,

which is 2,193 miles an hour.

So roughly 2.2 miles an hour.

So neither actually do it.

I want to know.

Is that, do they go for 220?

Are they saying that?

Well, they should be doing 219.3 miles an hour.

But that's pretty cool.

I thought it looks pretty cool.

Well, I think that's, John, we're heading the

right question.

It was very weird that they haven't gone for

mega power in the thing that's named after a,

I guess Blackbird, a lot of Blackbird was aerodynamics.

Was it, was it?

No, I don't know anything about planes,

but was the SR-71 Blackbird the drivers,

the fliers aircraft?

I wouldn't say so, no.

I thought I'd say 16 would be that okay.

It cruises at, no, no, no, like really high

speed in it, you know, it would take--

So it's more of like--

It's more of like--

States to turn corners than that.

So it's more of like an M5 or,

you know, it's an autobahn smasher.

Is it big or so?

Yeah, yeah.

You far miss out.

I think on the autobahn and you're just out run.

Yeah, you're just, it's, you know,

it's just happy and sick.

Yeah.

Just around the hand of Nathan and Mark.

You just, you get off the ground,

whack it in sick, it'll probably maybe even

fifth, and then you just cruise up to--

2,000.

2,000 miles an hour.

And then you just, yeah.

You've got a nice little cup holder,

got a little bit jazz going.

Oh, yeah.

No, no, it'd be great.

No, it'd be fantastic in that.

What's that?

Is it done?

Is it, it's not finished, is it?

They're saying they're making it.

Yeah, it's not, it's not, if it had some sort

of afterburner feature.

52:00 Hennessy Blackbird News and Speculations

Mine, they're really, they're also finished.

That's ages away.

It's not that two and a half years.

But like an afterburner type thing where it's

like, you can, like a fighter,

it's not a fighter jet, but a jet type thing

where you can initiate an afterburner and

that's how you get to your...

Probably not.

Okay.

I think it has a gear stick and a pedal.

No, but you know what I mean,

like, just do something silly.

That is pretty silly, it's pretty cool.

Because it could become a car,

I would want greatly.

If it, if it were just melding plane and car

together there.

No.

I wanna be inside that.

Two and a half mil.

What?

What?

That's quite a lot.

All the photos are in like a metallic silver.

Now, I guess that makes sense for showing off.

Surely, in theory, it would have to be matte black.

Yeah, black bode was matte black.

They would look kind of, it would look hence the name.

It would look a bit ass.

It was matte black.

Would it?

I think so.

Now, who's gonna make a stealth bomber car?

It's gonna make a B-tube.

I still be crying.

It's a revenge.

It's a revenge.

Yeah.

It's a revenge.

It's a revenge.

They already said that.

That kinda would be.

That's cool.

Something that speed cameras can't detect.

But there's a new bomber, though.

There's a B-21, I think.

Oh yeah, planes, is it?

B-21 Raider.

Okay.

What have we got next?

Will you be seeing that at Monterang?

Well, you'll be seeing it at the choir,

of course.

I won't be doing that.

Thanks for reminding me.

I was packing my clothes yesterday and I

looked longingly at my linen shirt and

thought, won't be bringing that out.

Bring it!

No, I won't be bringing it.

Ben, Ben, bring it.

Just in case, bring it.

It's a bit, Ben, just in case,

bring it.

It's a bit see-through.

I'm outta buy one.

I don't care.

I'm gonna have to learn a vest underneath.

Do you know what Ben?

You definitely get him, if you wear that.

No, it's a rough wear, that one.

I looked at it and I thought about the quail

when I was like, yeah.

Get it in.

I have to go to Target in some,

and buy a shirt if it's some,

what is the word?

Miracle?

Miracle, that's just what I take it happens,

but I have had two emails saying no,

find out.

You never know.

I do know.

You never know, mate.

Edwin, you've put in

here, people's driving positions.

You know what, I was driving in the ML with

the Fiesta behind it, and when you're driving

a tow car, you take life a little bit slower.

Slow lane, you're doing 60.

So, it means that you tend to get more time

to see people when you're going past A,

I've ever talked about it before,

why am I still passing people when I'm doing 60?

You shouldn't be on the motorway if you're

too worried to go more than that.

Also, it's dangerous.

Also, in cars that I saw the other day,

a brand new RS3 with a guy doing less than 60

mile an hour on the motorway.

Maybe he was wearing it in.

What?

Well, you gotta like, is that a thousand-mile

thing with a new engine?

You gotta like, be careful, not run it too much.

That's why Ben is driving around,

under three and a half thousand.

I'm not doing that.

I'm not doing that.

I'm just running in.

It's just 135,000, but I've just bought it.

I'm not doing that.

Ben took the joke that people say it's good

when someone says I was barely running in.

Oh, what?

Yeah, I know, I'm still doing it.

I can't win, you can't win.

If I'd driven that car, a Mac Pess,

you would have gone.

It's cold, you can't win.

No, we were bearing.

Good stuff.

Anyway, I keep seeing on the motorway when I

go past, and it tends to be the slower drive.

They're driving positions might be the most

mental thing I've ever seen.

It's dangerous.

I see people less than 30 centimetres away

from the steering wheel.

Like hunched over, I get some people have

back problems or issues where they have to be

sat in a certain way in a car,

but no one has to be sat maybe half an inch

from the steering wheel, or craned with your

neck over the edge.

What are you doing?

Also, you've got to be careful,

'cause if you ever crash, you're getting slimed.

You're done, you're slimed.

Sure, just wasn't expecting to use that word.

You won't buy whatever, I guess.

There is, it's literally in the driving test,

you have to know how to set your seat up.

Do you?

Yes.

I want in mind, they said we're in another

plate from a test at the time.

That's the only thing.

They said read it up, like you did it,

they were fantastic, is you're driving nice.

You don't need to go out.

You're better than most of the people that come in.

They do that, do they?

They say, you have to set your wheel up

correctly, you have to set your head rest,

what was the stuff?

You don't remember anything from a driving test.

I didn't have to do that, unless you did.

Yes, you did.

I was in a Nissan Note that I had one driving

lesson to

try and get through so that I could have a

car for the

driving test, and it was Nissan Note,

and he got upset at

me when I didn't put the clicker in the handbrake.

He said,

are you gonna pay for my new handbrake?

Because I used the clicker mechanism,

I went, what?

And he said, someone said the same thing to

our friend Jake when he came to work in the

UK for America.

Different guy

said the same exact thing.

Are you gonna pay for my handbrake mechanism?

Brother, do you understand how a handbrake

mechanism works?

Wait, what?

Because you pressed the button and pulled it up?

No, because I didn't use a ratcheting mechanism.

That's how it's designed.

They claim that you're supposed to click the

button in, lift it and let go.

They did do that for me, but then also you're a fool.

I was an Astra.

I was an Astra.

Oh!

That felt big.

It felt wide.

You were training to be a police officer.

(laughing)

Food boxes.

Yes.

Right, that's a decamp left.

(laughing)

Actually, my instructor was in Cribby,

London, so it was a bit like that.

I think I've talked about it before.

I had the most softly spoken,

not my test instructor, was the most softly

spoken human on earth and it was really

unnerving 'cause he was, I don't know,

six foot six and about as wide.

And then he walked in, and I was like,

"Oh my God."

And he went, "Yes, and we're just gonna go

for a little drive today."

I was like, "What's going on here?"

Oh, I, this, please don't, please don't,

nobody leave me alone with this man.

I don't like this.

But I wasn't a fan of that.

I wasn't the wrong way.

I wasn't the wrong way.

What the wrong way?

Down the road.

As she said, she said to me.

"Not to worry, Ben, do you mean that's a pass?"

I didn't worry, this is the first car we've

got around here.

Do you know how to use this thing?

Well, you fail, or I don't think you get a

minor if you don't follow the sat-nav or what they say.

Yeah.

I think they just chatter you.

Do you know how to do that in your test?

What's out at you?

They go ahead to do the sat-nav.

They go, part of it is sat-nav,

they go, "I'm not gonna let you follow the sat-nav."

But I got to a turning and she was like,

it was when she was telling me where to go.

And she said, "Go right here,

I was just, I was locked in."

I went, "Go right here."

"Go right here."

"I'm sorry."

You rip the broken power down.

Pretty much.

I thought I failed.

I thought I failed 'cause of that.

And I was like, "Well, you can't really do that."

She just shouted at me, "I panicked."

And now I failed, but I didn't,

luckily.

But you can go the wrong way and it's fine.

They just want you to do the right thing.

Right?

That's neat.

Then we should say, he does matter.

What they always do is like,

"Oh, I've gone the wrong way."

And then, "You've crossed real hands."

And then, "What are you doing?"

I go, "Well, do you want to get it all the

time or what?"

Here you go.

"Well, I know I'm going to fail,

so I've given up.

I'm just driving into people now.

I don't care."

It doesn't matter anymore.

Do you find it amazing the difference in,

I mean, I've only had two driving tests,

which I failed my first one,

which was really nice.

Did you?

Yeah.

It was really annoying.

Wow.

I was the first person in my qualifying.

Got caught up on it.

Orange Fiesta.

Wouldn't you just try to buy a Lamborghini?

I know I nearly failed the second one for that.

All right.

I'm the yellow Mercilago.

Really?

Could have been your car.

Could have been me.

Yeah, just how different it is.

My first one was militant.

I failed on basically my wheel touch the curb.

You know, anything else would just pull over.

You're doing 100%.

Yeah, that's it.

You just mowed down a whole family.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, come on.

I just kicked the car.

I was following the directions and all that.

You said left there.

You know, go down the high street.

No one had just like, "I'll just pull over."

Which, for a start, is just stupid.

I yelled on it.

You know, I was going, "I'll just pull over."

Why?

Why would I pull over here?

I'm not, I don't want to pull over something.

If I'm a sign somewhere safe.

No, you find somewhere safe.

I am driving from A to B.

I don't need to go, "Well, I'll just stop on

this road, shall I?"

You stupid idiot.

Anyway, I pulled up alongside the curb and

then as I adjusted myself, I could feel the,

it just slightly touched the curb.

I think it was that way.

Anyway, the tire touched the curb and I felt

it and I just saw out the corner of my eye,

this little bastard making note and I was

like, what did you write down there?

Like, what was that?

You just wrote and then you got back and you

failed me on it.

Anyway, turn the clip on it.

It was a huge L.

He just showed it to you.

He just went, "Whoa, bloody L."

Right, you got to pay for that room.

You've just mashed up.

But then my second test, when I passed,

it's just the most chilled dude.

He sent me down a road.

He said, "You want to go down here and left?"

And I was going down this road.

Like, as a parent, he's telling me where to go.

He said, "You want to go down here,

left, then take the second right."

Essentially, he's not going down this road.

He said, "You want to take the next left?"

And I looked at this road and there were no lefts.

And after a while, I said, "Do you mean right?"

He went, "Oh, yeah."

And he was like, "I've gone the wrong way."

Which meant he was now off of his route.

So he didn't know where to do some of the maneuvers.

So I did a turn in the road,

which should be a 3.10, it's not.

And then after that, he was like,

"No, you're all good after that.

Don't worry about it."

And then just passed me.

I was like, "This was the easiest test."

Meanwhile, he went, "I'm so embarrassed.

Right, you've passed."

The first one didn't talk to me at all.

He sort of like, his thing was,

right, once I'm in the car, he didn't say anything.

He would just make a note if something happened.

The second one was just chatty.

Yeah, so he'd be like that.

So what did you do at school?

So what are you studying?

What are you planning to do this?

What have you got for a job?

I was like, "What's going on?"

I just went from military general to just

like your uncle doing it.

Also, you're distracting me.

Hey, you crash?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was like, "What do you do at school?"

Also, it's left it.

Oh, it's not.

It's right.

We got the radio there.

Put something on.

Get you, please.

It's man.

I don't know what the rules are for that,

like being how chill you could be.

But my one felt like the complete extremes of either.

It's like, this doesn't help in me doing this.

My brother, he won't appreciate me telling

this, but I'm going to.

He failed straight away.

There was like this really weird junction out.

He got in the car.

And there was a junction that comes out of

this, it was notorious for being badly laid

out and also all the paint on the road was messed up.

So people basically wouldn't look and look properly.

when they come out of the junction and he

just was stressed and he pulled out of it.

But they still make you do the entire 40 minute test.

He was like, "Oh man, the junction off I go."

There's a 40 minute test, 'cause back in the

back, yeah, you fell within three seconds of

big at the car.

They should tell you you failed,

then you can just really mess up the rest.

Yeah.

Or you just stop pulling the handbrakes into a memorable.

Or you go, "You know what, I'll head back in

and I'll come back there a day."

Well, let's see how many fails I can get there.

Okay, just warp speed, making them press the pedal.

What do they want?

Anyone got any, what?

You were saying something, I asked about

driving in track.

I don't know.

I apologize for that.

What was the thing?

If anyone's got some good fail stories.

Yeah.

Or past stories, perhaps, let us know.

And again, they cannot be fake.

And shout out to the younger,

Creamers, who are maybe getting their license soon.

Don't worry, even if you don't pass first

time, you get there.

And it's getting easier, apparently.

What was that?

I don't know, they're like changing the book

in the thing, hasn't they?

I failed first time.

I heard recently about-

I didn't.

What?

Technically, I failed.

1:03:00 Driving Test Stories and Failures

It was more than three of the same minor.

You had 75-miners.

I had four of the same minor,

which is a fail.

Well, you had the budget.

My minor was, I never told you this.

Here we go.

What was it?

What was it?

Going too slow.

Oh, for God's sake.

And it was because-

What were the multiples of them?

It was because they have this stupid rule

where it's like, you have to be basically at

the speed limit.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

The stupid rule, we have to drive in a reasonable pace.

You've got a drive set of 40,

you've got a drive at 40, you can't drive

like 30, because they say you're holding up traffic.

Yeah, 'cause that's my speed.

I had someone in front of me,

who was not very a driver, and they kept

speeding up and slowing down.

Was it a mirror?

One of those very shiny trucks.

No, they were speeding up and slowing down,

so I thought, right, they're annoying me.

I tried to chill out here, I'm gonna go slower.

It was thing I was at 40, and they were going

from like 45, down to like 30,

back up.

And I was like, I can't, this becomes like a

little--

And it was a little bit of, I couldn't,

there's a little bit of a, like back and

forth, and I didn't wanna fail for like,

getting too close to whatever.

So I just sat out at like 25.

I could only do this one section of it,

but the lady was just writing down,

I could see it every 30 seconds just writing

down, like another tick.

She kept going, looking over at the rev gauge thing.

And she said to me, she was like,

oh my, when we pulled back into the test set,

she went, she went, right, now you have got

four of the same minor, which is a fail.

I was like, great, cool, that's it for me then.

And then she went, but it's be fair,

like I kind of saw what they were--

Ben slipped, Ben slipped 10 grand across the table.

Yeah.

And she went, you know, come 10 feet.

You have got four minors, but this is the

first time I've ever done it in a Bentley.

So you know what, (laughing)

She said she was like, it's technically a

fail, but it's kind of not your fault,

I guess, so--

Oh, late in the past.

Yes, that's quite true.

Do you think you'd pass a test now?

I know.

Absolutely not.

You believe you will.

(laughing)

Of course I would, and of course I'll pass first time.

Well, I think if I were to think about it,

I think my driving is better than how they deemed.

I absolutely would not.

Yeah, no, 'cause I've seen you drive.

Yeah, but you wouldn't drive like that.

No, when I, this is stupid, from living in

Africa where everyone, you drive from age 10,

11, on the roads, perhaps.

When I came to the UK, I did some driving

with my parents, like, what do you call it,

when they learn a driving, but you're just

driving your car with them in the car.

With my dad teaching me, my dad is,

you've both met my dad.

He doesn't drive like a well to do.

Yeah, he's not a driving instructor.

No, he's not a driving instructor.

So I decided I'll get one driving lesson

before my 10, best, and I did the learning

lesson, and the guy got out and said,

well, he drives like someone who's been

driving for five years.

He has a lot of bad habits, just driving with

one hand, one arm on the, on the old school.

Can you do that?

But he said, he said, you have to learn,

to pass, you need to learn to pass the test again.

You can drive fine, but you're gonna fail on

all of the things that normal people will fail on.

So I think I would, I think I would not.

I think I pass.

I think I pass.

I think I pass.

No, I put my mind to it, you know,

and I don't speak.

Which you will.

You never do that.

Which I wouldn't do.

No.

But just those little things,

or go through red lights at night.

I go like that.

Why are you amazing?

No one's making you say this.

I got told off by my drawing.

Temporary red lights.

Yeah.

I got told off by my drawing instructor for

trying to rev batch.

Oh, okay.

'Cause I was still trying to learn to do it anyway.

Don't do that.

Why would you try and do that?

Fortunately, I didn't know about that when I

was learning, but that would have been tough.

Yeah.

That's no foot breaking.

Sending up a straight through the windscreen.

And we're just counting here,

here we go.

I was like, wait, he's got a bit quick.

Don't worry, I'm gonna trail break through this corner.

You get the plate, you get the cut,

you just put on a helmet.

(laughs)

Now, I believe strongly, theory,

I'm done.

I'm done.

I'm done.

Well, theory, I think, I reckon there's a lot

of dumb questions in there, but I just,

I still think I'm practical,

I think I'm good at that.

Did you have to click a thing on your theory?

Yes.

Well, you have to, if you don't know,

you have to, you're getting a video,

a simulation of driving, and then the second

you see a hazard anywhere on the road or

around you on the pavement, you have to click.

I don't know if this came because,

when the first car people did this,

but they would tell you specifically,

you can't just constantly click.

And if you do like to know something,

I went into my practical exam,

and another guy from my year at school

happened to be there at the same time,

and he said, "So, you know, if you click like

once every two seconds, you'll get the

minimum pass rate, and you won't overdo the

clicker thing.

I guess you failed it for clicking too much."

Yeah, I do remember hearing that,

it's like, "Yeah, just click every now,

every, like this interval in your pass."

I'm like, "Is that, is that how hazards work?"

No, yeah, he tried it, bailed.

I mean, I'm in the right, but it has it every

two seconds.

Make it a beat.

(laughs)

Rich Porsliss, is that?

Say that again.

That's a test song.

I remember it being kind

of odd, but I don't really remember the result.

I remember some of the questions being odd,

but maybe we should do, maybe in another

podcast we should pull up some questions and

see if we can do it.

Now, I feel like I remember there being a

question about a family of ducks.

What?

Like if a family of ducks walking across the

street, are you legally obliged to stop and

let me cross or something?

My drone instructor, and he was a lovely man,

but he was a stern man.

He said to me, one time there was a pheasant

that ran out in front of the car,

and I break very hard for it,

and he got very upset.

You got upset?

Very upset.

He was like, "What would you do what?"

So you would, what was it a cat?

It was something, no, it was a cat,

sorry, because a cat ran out in front of me,

and I stomped on the brakes,

and he was like, "Don't you ever do that,

'cause you could cause a crash behind you."

But I was like, "Okay, maybe there's some

truth in that."

However, I'm not gonna write off someone's

family pet simply for this driving lesson.

Right, and what?

The cat be?

But do you know what I mean?

Like, what you would just accelerate through the cat?

Yeah.

Just to not--

I think look over and go, "Fantastic moves there,

Ben."

The argument with be is the fact that the

first time we should be far enough away that

if I was to suddenly break, they wouldn't go

back and forth.

But equally, he looks at me as if I was meant

to plow down this family pet.