C.R.E.A.M. #24 The Most Disgusting Car On Earth, 'Respect All Builds', and Our First Guest

0:00 Introduction and Welcome

No, I wore some old clothes,

but I did wear face mask and disposable gloves.

And I threw the Hoover way after.

I threw the vacuum away.

Yeah, it was really ugly.

The smell

is something that I will never,

ever forget.

Oh, there was a gulp there.

Hello, welcome to the 24th Cars Rule

Everything Around Me podcast with myself,

Will Chandler, Edwin, to the right of me now.

Oh, you've always been to the right of me.

You're much closer to me now.

Behind the camera, Ben.

And then, two hour, right.

Our first ever guest, we have got Robin.

Hello.

Viking detail.

Viking.

We're

very, very

pleased to have you along.

We've had you a few times on the channel and

you have nice stories and you're quite funny.

Thank you.

So we thought we were up too much.

I was actually talking about Ben.

Yeah, funny looking.

We always start this podcast by seeing if

cars rule everything around us or ruin

everything around us.

Let's start with you.

Robin.

Rule.

100%.

You know what?

I think that might be the only one of the week.

Let's have a little idea.

Well, because I've bought myself my last

ever, I'm

not going to buy another one because I keep

doing it, an MG ZS 180.

Now, when you say your last one,

most people might buy one car.

They will, perhaps like you with your

humanity too, you buy it, you enjoy it.

You sell it and you go, I want another one.

How many of those are you in?

15.

That's great.

What's the thought process behind like every

time is it.

Oh, I shouldn't have sold that one.

I buy one and I find rust and then I fix it

and I go, wow, this is great.

And then I get in trouble in it and then I

sell it because I get scared.

Is it not like amnesia or something?

No, I just have it.

I'm sure I had one of those.

I've never had one of those.

I'd like to try

that car.

I'll see what I'll be driving it and go.

There's another one there.

Wow, that looks cool.

I love one of those.

So why this one and why is it the last?

They're just.

Have you finally realized it's just an MG?

Yeah.

It's a Rover in a frock.

No, I just can't afford another one because

they're getting so expensive.

Yeah, they're really silly money.

I know nothing.

In my head, all Rover's and MG's £8.60 now.

They used to be and that's why I've had so

many of them because you could just have one

for a day and just go, that was nice and then

just scrap it.

So they are becoming desirable real money

now, unfortunately.

Wow.

But you've got big plans with this one,

right?

Yes, I want to do like a club sporty kind of build thing.

Someone who's some big comfy bucket seats and

BC Cobra Nagaros.

I mean, I'm not made of money.

No, no, we think it's something secondhand for me.

Oh, yeah.

Secondhand.

Secondhand.

Secondhand Nagaros.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just a Nagaro.

Just one.

Just the one.

Yeah.

A clarnard one.

Okay.

So that's the engine.

So you're a rule because I bought a car.

And it's how you hoped it would be.

It is.

It's better than I thought it would be.

Now, as a saw, you posted it on your story

that you bought the car.

Do you get it home and detail it?

I got home straight away and cleaned it.

Because I saw it sitting on my--

I was itching driving at home.

I was just looking at all the dust on the dashboard.

I can't stand it.

It had been parked up for months.

You did go while you were driving?

Just while I hadn't cleaned the dust.

I have actually had quick detailer in the car

and just cleaned the dashboard whilst I was

sat in traffic before.

The DA on the bonnet.

Out window.

So shit, the light's gone green right back it away.

So that's a rule.

Should we get on to the car history and

3:46 Parking Incident with Ben

stuff later?

We'll get on to that later.

Car was.

That was good.

And then the parking attendant next morning

went, you know what?

Yeah, I think we're going to make you pay £8 for that.

Now, where was the yellow line?

Under various touching my rear wheel ever,

so say.

So were parked on it?

No.

So, because the wheel was on the yellow line?

OK.

If I threw you in the English channel,

are you in England?

Ooh, that's...

No.

It's quite a scandal.

Yeah, that's quite a scandal.

No, it's not.

It's still coming up to me.

It's sort of miles.

No, I'm sorry.

I don't think I call the end of a double word.

yellow line akin to sort of international waters.

So, you're not in England?

If you said to me, if I walked in knee height

and said, "Well, am I in the sea?"

I'd say, "Yeah, you're in the sea."

OK, but if you dipped your toe in a bottle

cap full of water, are you in a swimming pool?

If a burglar is just his leg into your house,

is he in your house?

Just take anything?

Yeah, you can put his hand in,

you can grab stuff.

Then he's not breaking an entry,

he's not in the house.

Oh, he's getting all right, burglar's out though.

Ben lives at number one.

Number one.

Because there'll be a car at song,

down with your legs.

We'll take it on the window.

So I was tough.

So you're not happy about that?

No, I've been from the council,

not very happy about that.

Also Ben told us this earlier,

he was like, "I've written to the council."

And we were like, "Oh, that's awful,

Ben."

And then he said, "We'll allow the photos."

And we went, "You've roamed that line."

"No, sorry, I can't actually ship."

Please tell us what you offered to council.

Because that was the best part of that.

I set the council because only 10% of my car

is on the line.

I'll give you 10% of the price.

I'm laughing.

No, wait.

It wasn't on the line.

I was a businessman.

It's always worth a try.

You got a tariff on my council.

Anyway, I have to pay that probably.

That's fine.

Yeah, but also, just not really fair,

is it?

I've been parking there for six years and

nothing, but then suddenly, the law comes into play.

I'm just waiting.

Let that thing go on those double yellow lights.

I'll get you.

Apart from that, though, nothing.

Yeah, well, I'm going to have to go with a

ruin, I'm afraid.

I failed at MOT, my fault.

I didn't, the many P's, how many P's,

piss, piss, poor, preparation.

Sorry, I thought you were talking about many

P's, but I failed at MOT, there you go.

Took it for an MOT, I thought,

you know, this is going to fly through.

This is a good car.

I just failed on brakes, tough.

It did also fail on emissions.

I don't know why, because actually,

the exhaust is actually fine.

We joke about that stuff.

Actory, genuinely legal.

Also, what do they say?

They called you up with their...

Oh, yes, it also says, anyone who will watch

the channel can just go and search this now,

which is great.

It said coolant leak.

I was like, well, sorry, what do you mean by that?

Because it's been perfectly fine.

Oh, yeah, sorry, overheated on the test stage.

I said, yeah, like a coolant pipe popped off.

I was like, can we...

Can I get a little clarity on that,

if possible?

So, yeah, annoying.

My fault didn't check the car over before taking it.

But now I need to fix it, get it on my team,

because I quite like to sell it.

Yeah, that's gone, that car now.

Well, hopefully it's a fix.

It's great car, comes with a year of M.O.T.

and brand new fresh brakes and emissions.

And we move on to...

To me, could this be one of the

biggest, this could be...

Well, actually, hold on, hold on.

There's another reason why it's ruined.

Now, will they have seen this by...

Yes, they will have seen why it's the biggest ruin.

Oh, my other ruin.

Your biggest ruin.

My biggest ruin, yeah.

Yeah.

Our biggest ruin.

Our biggest ruin, yeah.

Jaguar XFR, we did show you that.

This very briefly.

I did have a look at this.

How would you assess the situation?

You know, five word answer.

That's not gone well.

Yeah, I like that.

Understatement.

Yeah, I like that.

You got one more word left, Robin.

Anything you want to say?

Say it for that, I reckon.

That's not gone well.

That's not gone well.

The L is on the end of the well.

Yeah.

So, Jaguar XFR, we bought 6,500 pounds,

previously, roughly, probably 100,000 pound

car in today's money.

So, a bargain.

Yeah.

Car made 585 horsepower on the dyno.

So, fresh out the box as we bought it.

Do you need more?

We decided to add some more.

We wanted to take it over 600,

had the supercharger out, all lots of

ball-like things that we had to do,

took it out for a test drive.

All was good, sounded great,

went great, five minutes later.

Wasn't going great.

The car went, we actually heard it on camera,

make its final breath.

It died.

It died.

So, the timing train, timing train,

timing chain skipped, I'm going to say a

tooth, I'm going to say many teeth.

Yeah, and I think the timing train has been

doing a little bit of a dance around the engine.

Yeah, if you're, if you're not as

auto-motivly inclined, that essentially means

the thing that keeps the engine in time,

the things that stops metal smashing into

each other, stopped doing that.

So, metal said, "Hello, me!"

"Oh, I'll pop it and see my friend,

Piston."

There was no flight controller,

so the planes were crashing.

Yes, not.

It's basically quite bad news.

And it's game over for that engine.

Well, we believe, we believe.

I mean, maybe we take it apart and they'll be...

We'll see.

We will see.

So, it's just unlikely.

Yeah, Will's XFR, dead.

The mark on the left behind us.

Also, Robin, this choice, if you're just

listening, we usually have a retro game

playing behind us, gameplay playing behind us.

And Robin, we said, "Robin, what do you want?

You're the guest, you choose."

It's juiced

one on PS2.

That's a very good choice.

That's a big choice.

I spent many hours of my childhood not doing school work.

9:28 Robin's Detailing Affliction for Renault Smashes

Just juicing.

juiced.

I'm an 80% through mate.

It's not a punter, isn't it?

Yeah, didn't it?

I'm pretty sure I had a punter.

Yeah.

So a very good game.

And then joining it is the E55 AMG Wagon,

which we're currently doing long tube headers on.

They don't make right-hand drive long tube headers.

So with Hammer and what do you call it?

Blowtorch.

We're making right-hand drive headers.

So that's why I'm trying to put it off.

I'm trying to put off talking about it.

Let's just get to it.

It's a ruin for me this week.

I wonder why the these Mys, I've got two

gearboxes now here next to me for the 996.

Not one because I went and bought a replacement gearbox.

This one right here.

We chucked all the LSD parts in it together

and went for a drive in it, as you might have

seen on the most recent video on the Tudor

Center channel.

And the noise was worse.

The noise was worse than it was before.

And I thought, what are the odds?

What are the odds that I've bought another bad gearbox?

Low, but not impossible.

So I went and bought another gearbox.

I put that in last night.

It made the same noise.

Then my heart, we went out for the test drive.

It felt like old times.

It did.

It was 9/11 without seats, but then just all

fogged up inside.

Yeah.

Took out for a drive.

I was thinking, this is as hopeful as it was

the first time when it first started.

And then we were talking.

We were joking.

I was like, yeah, as fast as a second.

Let's go.

Litrement.

And it's good.

And I had.

Start at home for the gearbox.

I was like, oh, God, please.

No.

So yes.

So the silver lining, well, sorry,

the bad.

news, potentially gearbox gone.

The good news is that it's making the exact

same noise that this one did.

And the chances of all three being broken are tiny.

So I feel like there must be something else

wrong that can't be to do with that.

So we're thinking there might be something to

do with the input shaft, boring stuff,

but I will be looking into it.

And I think, so I'm not buying another gearbox.

I'm not doing that.

I'm not doing that.

But if that is the problem, I'm buying another gearbox.

If you find the fix, you then have two good gearboxes.

That would be great.

So I could make some money back.

It's a good card.

I'm done spending all my money on gearboxes.

So yeah, it's a mega ruin.

Biggest ruin.

This could be the, yeah, I think it is.

Last night, I was actually on the verge of tears.

And not from being really upset,

just from being out in despair.

Just like work, please.

Have you ever had something like that with a car?

I think there's will not live.

'Cause to tee up, people that don't know you,

Robin.

Yeah.

So you do detailing.

You also have an affliction for the Renault Smash.

I do quite badly.

Right.

How many have you had?

How many will you have?

I've had 21.

That's one for every year, Ben's been alive.

How many of those have you ever had?

22 now?

23.

Oh, that's tough.

That's 21 different cars.

There's...

How many have co-existing?

Of those, of those, there's three that I've

bought back again and then sold again.

Oh, okay.

25.

So it was actually about 25,

yeah, but I've currently got 11,

maybe 12.

I don't actually know.

Why?

I'd have to count.

But no, no, I mean, why don't I have any asbestos?

Why don't you have many?

Why do you need to count?

I mean,

it started as a joke.

I got one and I was like, "Oh,

right,

this is great."

And he got damaged and transported the way down.

And the guy said to me, "Oh,

I know a bloke that's got parts for it."

And I went down and saw the bloke and he

said, "Yeah, the part you need,

the bumper."

It's in that e-spass over there,

full of parts and I went, "Great,

right."

So I went and got the parts and then walked

back to his shed and he went,

"Well, you know, I said, 'How much do you

want?'" He goes, "40 quid."

I was like, "Okay, great.

You don't want to buy that whole e-spass to

you for all the bits."

And I went, "Yeah, it might be handy for all

the parts that I'm going to need eventually

because it's French."

And he said, "Oh, I've got two others as

well, actually, for interest."

And I went, "Hmm, okay."

And I said, "Well, how much do you want?"

And he said, "Today, 600 quid."

And I went, "No, the whole lot."

So I had...

You were taking a back bite.

They're like the sweets at the till.

Yeah, yeah.

And you were sucked in by it.

They're just right there.

You took Mentos, tic-tacs, chewing gum and

some cigarettes.

Yeah.

Also, you went from having one e-spass to four instantly.

Four.

None of which were road-worthy.

That's a big trait.

I might need a lot of parts.

That's a big commitment to go,

"You know what, this my car."

There's the problem with having a barn,

like a unit.

Yeah.

Because it just fills full of stuff and the spasses.

About a question that's probably only ever

been asked on an e-spass forum.

What's the best, e-spass?

What's your dream e-spass?

What's the ultimate?

What's the spec?

What's the big daddy dream e-spass?

Apart from the F1?

It's a 2.2, e-spass quadra 2000-1.

Oh wait, is that the same

14:14 Discussion on Spass Engines and Upgrades

quadra system as like the Renault 21s and 19s?

Yeah, almost identical.

Oh, so don't want to get too nerdy.

'Cause they're quick, you can make them quick.

It's actually the same engine and engine

block as the Renault 21 as well.

So you can actually fit a Renault 21 turbo

engine directly to a mount in a spass.

See, this is, I did think this when we

brought Robin on.

There's a very, you might have to wrangle us.

'Cause we could get nerdy real quick.

But are you not building a very cool spass right now?

Yes, I am.

So the spass engines, in the mount one,

they sit longitudinally.

Yep.

And then they've got a transact sort of thing

in the front.

And there's not really many engine slots that

you can do, but you can get a 1/8 turbo from

a Passat or an A4, and it's exactly the same layer.

It's like the perfect shape,

perfect dimensions, everything.

Even the driveshot holes in the gearbox line

up with the holes in the chassis.

And on 1/8 turbo, I mean, standard,

you can go to 300 horsepower,

it sucks from 600 rods in it,

you go into 400 horsepower, quite happily,

quite easily.

Yeah.

In a spass.

That's interesting.

And it's not just a standard engine either.

No.

No, 'cause I've got out and bought forged rods.

What is the goal put powers?

The engine is going to be, the built engine

block is going to be capable of about 800.

(laughing) It's really, I'm never gonna need

that much, but--

What are you going for though?

350 to 400 through the front wheel.

So just the most reliable--

I want a good dependable amount of power

that's just enough to light out the tires in

third, just 'cause it's funny.

And knowing you, that's gonna be your work

vehicle, isn't it?

You're gonna drive to work?

Probably gonna daily that, yeah.

(laughing)

And when Ruin says that, that means going to detail cars.

Yeah.

That's not like, it's like a work van that's

a 400 horsepower spass.

That's ridiculous.

I don't do much mobile work,

but when I do go out, it's either my reliance

simulator, the branded spass,

or my panda van thing.

I've never, I've never, there's never a

normal car, but if I have that,

it's spass, it'll be.

Robin's a, Robin's like a, a workman from a

Netflix series.

Yes.

Where they somehow drive something really

interesting that no one would actually drive

in the real world.

(laughing)

Filling up at an LM002 Lamborghini.

(laughing) Okay, cool.

So that's our rule of room.

Yeah, quite rough.

Quite rough.

You know what, you're the shining line.

I'm the shining gold star.

Yeah.

The light at the end of your tunnel.

Thank you, Robin, for lifting us back up.

We've got some general anecdotes to the week.

We do, we hope there's some small news.

Some news.

Or little news bits.

We have a guess, we'll fly through these.

Lewis Hamilton, who's at Ferrari now.

Yep.

Such quite cool.

I don't know anything about an FYF one,

really.

There's gonna be FYF one, people going.

Can you talk about the last race,

please?

No, don't even know who won it.

Lewis Hamilton is at Ferrari,

I'm not messing around.

Is F1 back?

F1 is so back.

I thought that didn't they reveal the three?

By this point two weeks ago.

Let's put like three or four races in.

Oh crazy, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry F1.

I know you just don't need China,

I just don't know who won it.

Okay.

Anyway, but basically Lewis Hamilton's been saying stuff.

Lewis Hamilton also just doesn't do all the

normal press stuff that our F1 drivers do,

even at Ferrari.

Ferrari, I quite love that stuff.

Ferrari love that stuff.

I've been to Maranello to film with Leclerc

and battle that before and it's heavy.

They have a full day of right,

you've got to speak to this rugby team and

play rugby because this sponsor says so.

You need to go and do this, you need to go

and look at this and smile and you're gonna

be pleased about it.

You're gonna be funny.

He's the mallet.

But he recently said, he wants to make his own Ferrari.

Is it a model?

Not like an actual car.

Yeah, he wants his own model.

He wants his own model.

Called an F44.

Okay.

And that sounds, he wants it to be the

baseline of an F40.

He did say with a manual gearbox,

all that from the F40 does have manual gearbox.

He could just buy an F40.

I think what he's essentially saying is,

I want to improve the F40, I want it to be a

V8, twin turbo manual, no, no.

I think what he's essentially saying is he

wants it to be a modern F40.

But what I'm trying to, I want,

44 is his number.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's, that makes sense.

Yeah.

Because it's McLaren F1, his number,

chassis 44.

It's quite cool.

Yeah, is it?

So he was supposed to get an F1,

S1 11.

Instead, he bought an F1 chassis 44.

Yeah, although now he's at Ferrari's putting that in.

Yeah, Ferrari.

No, no, I just drive Ferrari's.

Don't talk about it.

Just Ferrari's.

But yeah, apparently he said,

that's what I'm going to work on for the next few years.

So, Ferrari, let me, please focus on the racing.

When I read that, I was like,

is he just going to be in his shed?

Yeah.

Just hacking away at Ferrari.

Ferrari, can you just come out to play,

please?

He's building your engine.

He's seeing laying fiberglass in the mud at this point.

Yeah, he has to do it properly.

He has to do it properly Ferrari.

He's literally tack welded it together.

It's beautiful.

But that's it, I just came out with it.

I mean, just a Ferrari listening to that.

You want to make, you want to make a car?

You drive for the F1 team.

You can't just start making cars.

Yeah, the production team.

No, you can't just do that.

Next piece of news, gaming news.

Oh, here we go, Sportsman.

Fujimi Kaido is back in the fall.

Now, I haven't played, I was Xbox and now I'm

19:24 News Roundup Including F1, Gaming, and V8 Hemi Return

PlayStation.

Perhaps what are you, what are you,

do you not, are you a bit, are you an adult?

Busy adult?

Juice was one of the last games I've played.

Wow, so you're a PlayStation person.

I've still got my PS2.

Good man.

So I, your PlayStation as well,

mostly--

I'm a PlayStation man now.

You know what, that alone, I've been looking

at eBay, used to Xbox, what's called,

one S's, whatever the thing that you want.

That, that track.

I guess you call it a track.

It's a hill.

Hey, but it's nice.

It's nice.

The amount of hours I wasted just driving

cars off and down that.

Oh, I saw that news, I looked at it.

and I was like, no, he's, he's back.

He's back.

He's back, I saw that news.

I was like, gaming stuff, he normally won't

talk about but that.

That's cool.

That's the return of a legend.

And then the final piece of news I did see

that stood out to me was the Hemi V8.

Bro, bro, so back.

It's back.

It's all rumors that he's coming back.

So the 5.7, the 6.4, and then obviously the

6.2 supercharged may return at some point

this, because obviously the new charger was

gonna be electric.

Yeah, I love that.

I thought it was gonna be like a twin-turbed,

like the new twin-turbed, the 6.

I think, but now apparently he's coming back.

I love that.

No confirmation that it's in the charger.

Americans, someone going to Americans,

and we're getting rid of your V8s,

by the way.

How could you have ever imagined that it was

gonna go down well?

Yeah, we've got rid of the Hellcat.

Instead, you can have an electric Dodge charger.

Sorry, they have guns.

They're not gonna let you get away with this.

So one's coming for you.

Apparently, it's more likely that it'll be

mainly for sort of jeeps and rams and stuff,

because that makes sense.

Yeah, yeah.

Because that's, you know, nice.

You can work the vehicle to get to work in,

a 6.4-litre sort of work vehicle.

Gotta have a small one for the fuel economy.

Because that charger looks quite cool in the new one.

I really like how that looks.

But if it goes, I'm not interested in it.

It needs to make a louder noise than that,

but with a V8 attached to it.

Do

people take a bit of a weird question,

but the EV owners, the ones that you've

worked on, do they tend to be as passionate

about their cars?

Or is it mainly just they're getting the car

detailed and protected for what you call it?

Yeah, I'd say it's probably about 30% of them

are just

doing that, because they can't be bothered to

watch their car too much.

And they want to keep it nice and clean so

they can hand it back to the dealership and

not get it.

They look all good.

But then the rest of them, I'd say most of

them have got an EV as a daily.

Interesting.

And then they've got something else.

Yeah, I guess that makes sense.

Yeah.

I had somebody in just the other day,

and they had a Ford Mustang Mustang,

Mac E thing dreadful, woeful thing.

But they've also got a V6 Nissan L-Grand.

Oh wow.

As the sort of going about

towns.

We were talking about those the other day.

Will you don't understand them?

This is the sort of however many seat thing

that cost £100 million to buy one here.

Yeah, they're like a billion pounds.

I don't understand it.

I mean, I can understand having lots of kids.

Actually, I can't.

That's a great clip.

That's a great, silly T.C.

out of context.

That was going there.

Why do you need to transport them all at once?

Where are you taking them?

Meanwhile, schools.

Sorry, you have that many kids,

they're all the same eight.

I guess you could all be at school at the same time.

But just have less kids and get like a better car.

But my space one eight turbo has seven seats.

Yeah.

That's what I mean.

But there are solutions to this.

Well, you get to school so fast.

And what if you have eight kids?

I'm going to level with you here.

I always had a weird, not one,

but semi appreciation for, you know those

horrible Chrysler grand voyages?

They're really real round guys.

Yeah, 'cause they have the captain seats.

I remember as a kid, someone's mum turned up

in one of those.

I remember thinking, that's horrible.

And then when I saw the door slide along the

side, 'cause not many cars have that at the time.

And then I saw the captain seats.

I remember going, that's kind of cool.

I shouldn't say it out loud,

but that's cool.

I could only ever remember very,

very upset and sad looking dads driving there.

Yeah.

Because they know full well.

They've messed up.

They've got too many of the little guys back

there, which means they've had to give up a

decent car up and drive around a small barge

in the shiniest.

Imagine seven kids on that leather.

It must sound like seagulls in the back,

just horrible.

And all the crumbs getting smashed into the faux leather.

What is the, we get onto the quick fire

question for your detailing stuff.

But what is just thinking about that?

Just one of Robyn's cars.

(Car laughs)

The M.G.

said S.

I know exactly what it is straight away.

There's a Suzuki

Alto.

Oh wow.

It was a, I think it's like an 11 plate

Suzuki Alto.

Right.

So not even the early 20s.

Not a

cool one, no.

Interesting because it's not interesting.

No, it was literally scrap value,

but it was literally low mileage and this

lady had been given this car because someone

in the family had passed away.

She'd been given this car and it was no good

and she was just gonna scrap it.

And she came down and said, can you clean it?

'Cause it smells, I've got some coffee spills

and I said to her, it was, I said,

just leave it with me for a few hours and see

what I can do.

And I looked at it and it was so battered,

like I went, I'm gonna polish this.

She's gonna be...

And she didn't ask, no, she wanted to clean.

She just put the interior clean and a coffee

stain taking out the carpet where it had gone

down the side of the seat.

I was like, I'm just gonna do this 'cause I

can do this really quickly.

'Cause it's about this big.

Yeah.

So,

you know, so quick, but it looked like it had

been washed

with a hedge.

So bad.

But it turns out it was a lovely black color

with like a blue kind of flip,

smartly kind of thing going on.

And it turned out so nice when it was done,

but it was like, it was literally scrap value.

All right, cheers and just drive off.

No, no in car.

I said to her, I got bored.

And I gave it a quick polisher.

And she nearly cried.

Aww.

And she's ruined my car.

(laughing)

I love the scratches.

Yeah, when she gave it to me,

the one that she said, "Don't ever wash it."

(laughing)

She's been coming back to me for four years.

She comes back about

every six months for a quick time.

With that car.

With that car, it's still going,

it's still going.

And it's still going.

See, you know what, even for a normal car,

around the middle, like someone who's not in

the cars, but like that.

That's, that's, you know, what do you call that?

Keeping it ongoing, just literally a piece of

shit, but it just keeps going and going and going.

What about the car, though?

(laughing)

Wow.

We'll move on to a section here called Things to Discuss.

Oh, okay.

The things that we just put in our list.

What's that about?

To talk about and discuss, perhaps.

Number one, an answer from last week's

podcast, The Do They Great Runways,

can we get a--

I have an answer.

I had an answer, actually, mid podcast,

I liked that you were pulling out the phone

for a yes or no answer.

Yes.

Oh, actually it's a no.

Oh, this says no.

Okay.

They don't grit them because of it,

this makes sense.

Planes suck in air and stuff.

So do you feel the runway with the grid grit?

That's a good point.

Yes.

You're telling me.

So I contacted--

Hands land at hundreds of miles and at all points.

Are you saying you contacted someone?

I contacted my good friend Fred,

who works at the airport and also is like,

he has Edwin level and a reflection with planes.

Nice, good stuff.

We call out something else these days,

we can't really say it all.

Apparently, no grit because obviously it's

gonna suck in and ruin the plane.

That's it, thanks Fred.

Sorry.

They put chemical de-icer and anti-icer down.

So basically the runway just can't get.

And would you care to guess how much that costs?

35 grand a day.

I was gonna say 20 grand.

30 grand a day.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, in my previous life of selling de-icer.

All I can picture is know that the car plan

bottles of de-icer.

But it's a massive lorry with a big tube on

the back, but with a spray can on the edge.

It's just someone with 1,000 of those bottles

and someone else going, you know,

it'd be much faster if you boil kettle and

just know it'll crack the runway.

Okay, so no grit on one way.

So no grit, yeah, but they, I was at that 10,

runway size varies here.

So it might be cheap, but you've got a smaller runway.

Or what if you've got a grass runway?

I don't know, they worry about that.

Well, that's gonna get wet.

I think they probably don't go out in the snow.

I think people doing gliders in the,

in the on-grass runways don't go,

oh, snowing out, I'll get the glider up.

Yeah, so we've answered that question.

Yeah.

And all, you know, a nice car.

A resolution.

A resolution.

A resolution to a question we're all wondering.

Fourth question here, which is not the number

I'm searching for, it was from Ben,

I think.

How long to finish your cars?

Oh, I had this one for, actually,

this, this works for everyone.

I had this thought they were there when I was driving.

You had, no, you, well, you all have cars,

many cars.

If I said to you right now, okay,

unlimited budget, you can do whatever you

want to it, all your cars, whatever you want,

you can't leave the unit to it done.

How long non-stop wear take to finish all of your cars?

Oh, shit.

Now, when you say that, do they need to be

completed to the build, but I'm like--

That's what's in your head, what I want.

Because would you consider, like,

for example, your 316, you could give it a

polish and a service and it's nice,

but I'm talking, like, B58s or all that stuff.

Yeah, exactly, it's done.

But you can't leave the unit until it's done.

Six months to a year minimum.

Of non-stop wear.

Non-stop work.

On how many cars, 11?

10, yeah.

Is that just loan work?

Can we pull people in?

You pay other people to do stuff.

Yeah, but you can't just, like--

You send cars away.

I mean, if it needs rust work.

Stuff you can't do, yeah, but,

like, it would have to be still 24/7 going.

I'll go with a little seven.

When do I see five all over again?

Yeah, I'll go with a month.

A month?

A month, 60 to 90 days.

Well, so, your Range Rover, basically just--

Range Rover--

Not much.

Yeah, probably just lots of things.

182, you're pretty much there.

Yeah, that's fair.

I'm getting the engine sorted.

I change the engine again.

And the wheels.

And the wheels.

And the wheels.

And the wheels.

Yeah, the little--

Legane is still in the paddock over there.

And 350's head, 350's brakes.

Yeah, 350's brakes.

But I've probably

taken it a month.

Robert?

This is tough.

Are you a part of my gang?

I'm screwed.

Are we sending each other Christmas cards?

I'm the unit.

What decade are we in that?

I'm trying to think in my head and count out

what I've got, and I can't remember what I

have for the problem.

No, are the plans, is every single car saving

or some of them there to exist to help other cars?

So there's about three, maybe,

there's probably two or three S-basses that

are there to be sacrificed to the French car gods.

But given the ultimate budget,

would you fix them?

Well, yeah.

Ooh, okay.

'Cause then I can have more.

Okay, so then you are there for years?

Yeah, I'm gonna say a good 18 months to two years.

Nice.

That's clean.

Ben, what about yourself?

Well, I reckon we're about done.

Well, yeah, I mean, we don't think we need

any parts to it, you're a sucker.

It's like I'm in strength.

Give me a big afternoon.

And then it cuts to Ben sitting in his corner editing.

Three, a cup of tea.

Maybe ordering a PMS shifter.

I reckon on probably not.

Probably not.

No, I'm really sick, I think I'm getting it

done in a weekend.

But what's there to do?

Shifter seats, steering wheel,

service.

Sell.

Yep, buy another car.

I have to earn on the money to buy an S2000

before, and then I have to.

Okay.

Oh, that's a good

30:52 Old Woman's M5 CS Speculation

question.

Here we go, good question.

Next up, another one from Ben here.

Old woman M5 CS.

Yes, there's, which is not old.

But she's probably late 50s.

We know, Lynne A.

It's the woman we've seen.

This is one of the BMW number three.

Yes, we are, I wouldn't say it,

but it has a BMW and a CS team number three.

Well, I mean, you've narrowed it down quite a

lot now, I'll be honest.

There could be any number in between there,

it could be overall.

You have given five out of the seven digits.

Yes, I was drawing down the wiggy road near

the unit the other morning.

And I saw, I saw a G3, something G,

something M5, whatever the one is before the current one.

G9T, F9T, F9T, F9T, F9T, M5,

and I was like, "Ah, that's nice."

And it was in the actual launch spec as well.

Yeah, with gold everywhere.

All in that colour, right?

It's a CS, it's a CS.

Yeah, green, yeah.

Yeah, they're all white colour,

right?

Don't know.

If you get different colours like that,

or I'm not sure.

I've only ever seen them in that green.

Okay, well, I saw that Robin.

Modern cars, I don't do that to them.

Okay, back to them.

Yeah, what day it was built?

Yeah, and I looked in and I was like,

this is cool.

It's just a six-year-old woman,

driving this car.

How, why?

No, very reserved, actually.

No beans.

Scared to, that's just going,

it's like a little width restriction.

Scared to go near me, probably because my

car's very old.

Because you did 140.

Yeah, yeah.

What's the old twin turbo V6 Jaguar from the '90s thing?

XA220.

XA220.

Where I used to live in the near-sto-con

trend, there's an elderly woman that drives a

green extension.

Surely not.

She just got upsold at the jam thing.

We've got this on part X for this.

Yeah.

The salesman said it's just an XJ6.

She used to drive it like an absolute lunatic.

I remember she'd go past my house on a fairly regularly.

Just on boost.

Yep, and I googled her, and she's known in

the Jaguar community.

Really?

She's in her 70s, I think.

And she always wears 10 driving gloves in her

green X8020.

No, that.

The coolest thing I've ever seen.

Oh, you know.

The woman with the car collection.

She might have a car collection.

She's got an X8020, I mean, shouldn't she not

have a car collection?

No, it's just the only one I've got.

It's the daily, really.

It's the daily, yeah.

It's that.

Scan your shots.

Yeah, I traded in a Nissan Pixel for this.

I think I've heard of that.

Yeah.

I think I recall that.

I can't remember her name.

I'm not going to put her in her mouth in here.

Wendy.

Wendy, the X8020 owner.

I like that.

I think we should get a car club going,

which is just all women in their cool cars.

I like that.

Yeah.

'Cause then they're very old.

Yeah, when they come, when it comes to pass.

We can see.

You might be remembered in the world.

See if there's a deal to be done here.

Or we get on the podcast at least.

Yeah.

Little podcast feature.

I'll go after.

After.

Very quite a podcast of just a little,

just a vase there.

Next up is a point from Edwin.

You're dreaming comments.

Oh, this is now, we said, after last

week, the last week's podcast hasn't actually

gone out yet,

or it's just gone out, but we haven't seen any comments.

We're fairly sure there's going to be a lot

of comments for people to think about.

We're always mean and fair, we always are

'cause we're ourselves.

Even we said, maybe we should be a little bit

less money, but allow me to moan for a little bit.

That wasn't common.

It was about Ben's S2000 thing saying,

(laughs) you're dreaming if you think you're

getting an S2000 for that money.

Oh, you can barely even get a shell for five grand.

I hate people that are confidently wrong

about car stuff.

If you don't know, it's okay to say,

I will be wrong, and if someone tells me I'm

wrong, fair, fine.

confidently into it.

Ben, hello, we found the S2000 for you on Copart.

We almost bid on it.

We almost bid on it.

How much did that sell for?

2,800 pounds.

That's interesting.

So if you can get a car with a running engine

for 2,000 garage pounds, no,

I'm not saying it's not cheap.

I'm not saying that that's not,

you know.

That was a rough one.

That you can go down the road and find lots

of those, but you do find, five grand,

you barely get a shell.

What are you talking about?

I'll send you another one that was on Facebook.

What was that, seven?

That was six grand.

And it was running.

That was running well.

It was just rough.

Exactly.

Just in general, with car people,

'cause we're all no idols, but there's this

certain breed of person that goes,

you're an idiot.

When I asked about the C55 AMG and said,

I'm looking around the five to seven and a

half grand, the amount of people are like,

you can't get them for that.

So why did I buy one for four and a half then?

What are you talking about?

It annoys me so much.

Do you ever have that with people that are

just confidently wrong when they,

do you have them with detailing stuff?

You can't use that.

You shouldn't use it.

I want you to use this.

a lot of them come along and tell me that

they want to use X product on their car and I

go, okay, no.

What's the weirdest request for a product?

Again, we'll get to all evolutions,

yeah.

You've had a really bizarre product or brand or anything.

I had a bit of a strange one actually not long ago.

I had a guy who had an unwindest clothes,

what car it was.

He had a car and he wanted it polished,

but then he didn't want me to put a ceramic

coating on it.

He wanted to come in and put his own ceramic

coating on it in my workshop.

That's interesting.

That's so interesting.

'Cause he didn't want to pay for my coating,

so he wanted me to apply his own.

Apply his own, yeah.

But why does he want to do it in your workshop?

Why couldn't he take it home and do that?

Because then it would all be,

it would be all perfect and panel work to get

it home and it would be covered in dust and crap again.

And he'd have to wash it again and then ruin

it and then have to pay for me to polish it.

And then the cycle would continue.

Yeah, just end the cycle of making money,

it's genius.

Did you take him up on it?

No.

So he just paid then for...

He paid for the polishing and then I could

put a wax on it for him.

So he then did drive home and probably do it himself?

Maybe.

I mean, I did tell him that I was gonna wax

it and it wasn't wise to leave it just sort

of unprotected or to go home and then just

ceramic coat it or whatever.

And I don't know what he did.

Well.

He agreed to having it waxed.

Yeah, that's great, that'll do,

yeah.

And then I never heard from him again.

People are bizarre.

Yeah.

Some bizarre questions.

Anyway, on anecdote's list, what have we got,

Lexus NX Rear Lights.

I was driving behind a Lexus NX.

Wherever that is.

Whatever it is, all you need to know is it's a crossover.

Oh, not an old NX, you mean it?

No, no, this is like a brand new--

An NX, I understand.

It looks like, imagine the Lexus crossover,

it's that.

And I was behind one and I was looking at it

and I was like, oh, the rear lights look kind of weird.

You can find a photo of it on Google or put

one up on the screen.

And it has its normal lights and there's a

red section where you would expect the brake

light to be.

He hit the brakes, the red light section did

not light up.

What instead lit up was a tiny patch of clear

glass on the top right with three of the

brightest LEDs I have ever seen in my life.

It was getting dark, it blinded the shit out of me.

Three laser eyes surgery.

No, I'm not joking you.

I literally was like, what the hell?

And I thought that must be a

manufacturing fault.

You know, stuff goes wrong, the amount of

times I've seen you vendors and they have one

left light out.

Brand new car, the lights are just out.

Near 20 seconds later, another Lexus edX

pulls up alongside.

Oh, here we go.

They both hit the lights, I'm blind.

I'm blind.

How are they allowed to do this?

You're gonna hit with the infrared blast.

But that's my whole point here is how is it

that pop-ups aren't allowed because someone's

Nan's ankle might get a little bit hurt by

getting hit by it.

Yet I can be blinded by a spec ops style

laser light bursting in through the door like

I'm somewhere in Al-Qaeda.

It is mental.

It's what your TV sees when you change channels.

(laughing)

I'm the remote.

(laughing)

Am I a cat with a laser pen?

It is absolutely mental.

Even the headlights as well,

I've known about it.

I've had cars with them on, and I get,

and sometimes you get to flash my people.

Yeah.

And you just have to go, look,

you need to get all the times,

my man.

You're gonna get blinded, it's fine.

But some modern cars are actually insane.

You get a flash bang going down the road.

And it's because normally the headlights are

moving, so the headlights are moving.

Peugeot.

Yeah.

Why is it always Peugeot?

I can't see anything coming,

it's like a collapsed sun coming to work.

Peugeot or Teslas, Teslas I think are the

worst, because they, I believe in my soul

that a blind man is setting up where the

lights go, because one drives past me,

it's aiming at the moon.

The next one is at the floor,

the third one directly into my retinas.

What's the point?

Have you seen them?

Have you ever done it where these massively

bright lights come towards you?

Like, oh, this guy's full being me.

Put your own full beams on him,

like your 20-year-old car, and then they go,

okay, I'm gonna get you back,

and then they just destroy your eyes.

I've done it.

She's sat in a white room.

It's like the scene of the Terminator,

where she's on the fence.

It's exactly that.

I don't understand.

What are the laws for lights?

If someone in the comments, a listener,

a

subscriber, a follower, could give us the

laws on lights,

please.

That would be advantageous to the cause.

And we can take these people down.

If so, get back to halogens.

If so, I'm buying one of those Chinese,

you know, there's ridiculous Chinese lights

that can light up

It's like a whole village.

Yeah, in the distance.

Like a batson.

I'm doing that.

I'm putting some bit of red over it and I'm

mounting all the back of my car.

Just mounting it, just projecting onto the sky.

Guys, I'm breaking in a spass.

Robin is here.

Oh wow, Robin.

Anyway, I think that, oh, we got a point from

Ben here, which we did talk about very

briefly in the car earlier.

Are you more likely to get a parking ticket

if the car is modified?

I think Ben has got a little bit of victims.

Yeah, he believes it.

A little bit.

What's the case?

If you were a parking attendant and you saw a

car, this is obviously not led to a recent

event that happened, but if that,

if you did see a modified car,

are you more likely to put a ticket on it?

I think yes.

Do you think if you're in the X5,

you would have got that parking ticket?

I think more so, 'cause you would have been

more over the line.

That's the thing.

Well, the reason I put this in there was

because I left for work that morning,

and the cars that were near me that were on

the other side of this, of this shape-eyed parked round.

It's like a village green parked round.

They were also on the line, like similar

level to me.

Got him?

They didn't have any tickets.

They might have gone to work,

'cause I didn't leave it like 7 a.m.

But still, is it 'cause of the Clio's modified?

Do you see a little low car with a big

exhaust and think, "You know what?"

I don't think modified.

No, I think the only time that might apply is

very, very expensive.

I was gonna say the same thing.

If you're putting up in a colour now,

I think a parking attendant is gonna take

pride in slapping them with a fine,

even though they couldn't care less.

I think maybe expensive cars maybe,

but overall, I think a parking attendant is

just being straight up.

Yeah, flat.

You're getting a ticket in a bit of what?

Yeah, I actually managed to avoid paying for

parking throughout my entire university course.

Oh, hell.

I had better fake parking ticket on it.

No, no.

It only falls in horses.

No, they were, in the university car park,

they didn't do fines, they did clamping and fines.

Yeah.

And I had, like you said, the fake parking

ticket on it, the parking ticket.

And after about three weeks,

they started cocking on and putting extra

parking tickets on it.

I thought, right, okay, fine,

I'll pay it.

And I'd park up, take the Regel.

But, 'cause it's so low, they couldn't clamp it.

'cause they couldn't get the chains on the wheel.

It's free.

It's free.

Low cars.

Low cars.

Save you money.

It's genius.

I like that.

And that was Rover 45 as well.

Sick.

The first of many bad decisions.

Well, shall we get into actual questions for

Robin as a detailer?

Yes, Robin is my first question number for that.

I think we roughly know what this means,

but there'll be many that don't.

What the hell does detailer mean?

What differs you from a 10 pound man from P.

From yes boss.

Okay, okay.

Or what differs you from the machine I drive

through in my range rating?

(laughs)

Now that upsets.

Firstly, can I make a confession to you?

Okay, careful.

Think about this.

The Mercedes, it's been getting really dirty.

We've got lots of mud down the road,

yeah?

Don't you didn't.

I went to the jet wash myself.

Okay, that's fine.

I used the brush on the paint for the first

time in my life.

I was like, I just want the car clean.

That's actually quite painful.

It's really painful.

No, that's tough to hit.

No car deserves.

No, do you know what I did?

I used the jet wash.

I used the jet to spray the brush first.

I then used the brush on the paint.

Sad, I know.

And then I used it on the wheel and on the

bottom of the arches and that sort of stuff.

So I tried to minimize.

Yeah, I did leave for the next person.

But I tried to minimize, but I still,

while I was doing it, I thought,

Robin's looking down on me somewhere.

He's cursing me.

You were there, you knew I'd be upset and you

did it anyway.

You did all those other extra steps.

Did you feel better about yourself doing that?

No.

Good.

No, no, no, better.

Was it clean?

No, it's still really bad.

It's not good at all.

But yeah, so detail, what does that mean?

Okay, so I mean, the detailing itself,

the word detailing is an American terminology

for car washing and what we call valetting.

Detailing.

I'm a deter.

You go to the detail shop, it means you go to

the car wash.

A detail.

But in the UK, it's had to sort of boom in

the last five years and kind of buy word for

like the weight rows of car washing,

the M&S of car washing.

So where you go to the car wash and spend,

you know, 20, 30 quid, boss man's got it done

in 15 minutes, boss, off you go,

tire shine all at the side of it and it's missed.

I'm spending like, you know,

15 hours working on one car,

just making it reasonable, if not more.

And that is because you have an obsessive

affliction with car cleaning.

You don't do this as a job, you would be

doing this if we took away your business,

you'd be doing it.

I'd be doing this to my own cars.

Yeah.

Yeah, and that's kind of how it started,

really.

Before we started this podcast,

we were talking about it and I asked Robin,

do you ever see other things around like,

around life that you want to clean and you

said you've even looked at toilet seats and

thought I could polish that?

I could see swell marks on the toilet seats.

I'd be going for a way and I just look at it,

I'll polish that.

You were as afflicted to buy,

well, yeah, I mean, you're just as afflicted

to buying chick cars as we are.

In that same vein as us to that,

you need it technically.

I can't, I watched my dad washing his bongo van.

It's a

black bongo van and I polished it and

everything, it looks lovely and he was

washing it with a sponge the other day and I

almost cried.

It's true.

Dad, no.

You just keep

laughing instead.

I just took him out.

You took people's elbow to me.

I said to him, I was like, I will clean it

for you for free.

Just give me the van, I'll drive it to work

and I will clean it in the evening when I'm

done and drive it home and you'll have a

lovely clean van again.

No, it's all right, I'll just give it a quick wash.

What is the strangest thing you've detailed

in your house?

And again, this is the thing we talked about

prior to this on the podcast,

that once my dad said to me that he ceramic

coated his shower door.

I have all set up ceramic coats so much.

Which like, it makes sense.

Yeah, it's just a bit extreme.

And then I saw there was a Facebook page we

were talking about, detail central,

which is kind of havoc in there,

really.

Nice chaos.

But there was a guy in there,

it took me about off,

46:00 Detailing vs. Car Washes and Headlight Polishing Tips

off chance, really, I was just scrolling

through, it saw detail as central,

and then a picture of a hob.

I was like, okay.

Yeah, no.

And there was a question, it was like,

can I ceramic coat my hob because I'm sick of

scraping stuff off there, would that,

do you think that would, could that fly?

I mean, would you make a fire?

I've got coatings that are resistant up to

800 degree Celsius.

So you should be good, so it could work.

Okay.

Yeah, it could work.

But you'd probably machine polish it first,

get all that sort of like,

I don't remember.

Snowflake, I remember the kitchen here.

(laughing) I did once, I remember during

COVID, when people were really bored and

starting up detailing business,

I remember some guy detailed a wheelie bin.

Nice.

And he, I feel like I remember that.

And he did like, the hardest edit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember the edit.

It makes snowflake a tire dressing or anything.

He's just cleaning everything.

So what is the weirdest thing that you've

done that's not car related?

Oh, that is a tough one.

Oh, actually, now I know exactly what is,

a radio controlled car.

Oh, really?

Yeah, a radio controlled car,

not mine.

It was somebody that approached me,

it was an existing customer.

And he saw I had a radio controlled car on my

wall, and he went, "Oh, I've got one of those."

And I said, "You all look really nice."

I was like, "Yeah, I'm using the steam

cleaner "and tightening

all up and polishing all the exhaust pipe "on

this little

big fifth scale, like a touring car thing

that he had."

And he said, "Oh, I've got basically the same thing."

And I was like, "You know, I'll clean that for you."

And that was a paying job.

It was a paying job.

You paid the detail.

Wow, did you scale down the rate to the exact same scale?

Yeah, it was like a fifth of what it would be

for a normal one.

That's a great business move.

But I did a little video on it and took

photos and stuff.

We had it outside on the floor and snow

phoned it, and then our machine punched it

with like a really small DA there.

You got a mouse came out.

These are your small cars that you take,

jump in, make, and let's do it,

let's do it.

Okay, so that's odd house things,

details.

I mean, there'll be many people who've

probably done the same, and many people who

find that quite bizarre.

Because also, the thing is with cream,

and as people have been called themselves the

creamers, still not your name,

but again, feel free to use it if you like it.

I'd say it's probably 50/50 on people that

are like us, they're buying cars every day,

and on people that just enjoy cars kind of

generally, they won't understand why you

wouldn't take it to just a car wash.

The difference that you do, what are you

doing differently from a car wash,

let's say, because you're doing multiple

stages, what are those stages?

In the most simple terms, essentially,

I'm trying to make that paint that you've got

on your car look as good as it can for as

long as it can, because I think one of the

things that people don't realize is that

paint is a service item, that's why when you

go to the dealership and you have your oil

change, you get a service wash,

cars need cleaning as part of maintenance,

but some people change their oil every two or

three thousand miles, some people will change

their oil at the dealership,

every 12,000 hours per the schedules and

stuff, the people like us two or three

thousand miles, with a sort of people that

would be more inclined to make our cars clean

really

nice more often, but doing it with multiple

stages means you're less likely to scratch

the paint up or stain

plastics and ruin it.

So basically the longer you spend on it,

the better the outcome is, and it's nowhere

near comparable to a washing your car,

is it's not even the same kind of realm as

what you're doing.

You're improving the paint, not just cleaning a car.

Yeah, I'm not just just washing dirt off of

it, it's washing everything off of the

surface, cleaning the surface too,

as clean as it possibly can be,

and then refining the clear coat on the

surface to make it look as good as it

possibly can under any light.

Yeah.

Because sometimes you see cars on the road

and you look at it and you just go,

"What on earth has happened to you?"

Looking like a hologram going everywhere.

Just like all sorts, especially at night as

well, you pull up like a junction,

and like there's a car park opposite the

junction, your headlights are on it,

you look at it and you can just see someone's

been up and down it with a machine posted

like this and left loads of hologram,

it makes me...

Yeah man, who would do that?

Yeah, maybe Tara, wouldn't it?

I do wonder where some people actually get

this stuff done.

I know obviously that a lot of it's probably

10 pound car washes 'cause they are,

'cause that's part of the problem with a 10

pound car wash, right, is that you are using

nice clean microfibres, products,

you're not just going, right,

I've used this microfibre on the last 40 cars today.

I probably dropped it in a puddle earlier,

picked it up and then wiped your car with it.

That's kind of like a lot of the problem.

They are stack 'em high, sell 'em cheap.

Exactly, yeah, it's numbers.

It's numbers out the door, that's all we care

about, which is a good business model.

It runs those money.

If you're just looking for your car to be

clean, it does that job.

But in actual fact, they, doing that is what

gives, sets you up for what your job is,

'cause your job is undoing what they do.

Exactly.

They are introducing those swells and

scratches that you have to fix.

It doesn't take much for someone to realize

that they're getting a really bad job from

the car wash.

So one little bit of mist dirt somewhere,

or mist patch or something, and then they

start looking a bit closer and going,

oh, that wasn't there before,

and that scratch wasn't there before,

and this is not very good.

Oh, this is awful.

Why have I paid for this?

And then they start googling and looking

around and thinking, what can I do better?

And then they'll either go down the route of

buying stuff to do it themselves and getting

more interested than that, and then all

they'll go to a detail or a professional

valor or something.

I had that experience the other day.

Literally that experience because I got my

Clio cleaned, and I was like,

ah, I first had a clean in six months,

that was great.

And I looked it afterwards, and the trims,

yeah, hurt Robin.

I watched Robin recoil.

In my peripheral, I saw him go,

it'd been sad for the winter,

and I haven't redram it that much,

and I got it cleaned by just your normal

driving car wash.

And afterwards, I was like, ah,

this is great.

It's like a nicer look top, like the trim on

the side, you know, it's like 16 valve,

two lit or whatever.

And under it, it's just loads of dirt.

It wasn't clean.

It's just, and I was thinking,

let's get a dam proper.

Do not really bother me about like cheap,

again, I've used cheap car washes in the

past, 'cause some of it is, it's what you

have access to almost, like when I was

younger, I'm living at like my mum's,

which is like in a flat, I can't wash my car

outside because it's just not possible,

no without like using waterless stuff that is

gonna scuff it anyway.

You go to a 10 pound car wash 'cause that's

kind of the best like you can do,

but I've completely forgotten the point I was

about to make.

But I've got another point actually anyway.

Anyway, sorry, on the convenience scale of

it, I went to a car wash recently,

10 pound car, one of the first times actually

I've done that, I've been cleaning my cars

for a couple years now.

I'm a long time out of the game on the 10

pound car wash thing, but it was in the Range Rover.

And you know like these car washes,

it was safe, it's an SUV it costs more.

I pulled up on the board said SUV 20 pounds.

Now my car was very dirty, you couldn't see

the number plate.

But that is kind of why I'm getting it cleaned.

I pull up, put the window down,

the guy says, just outside, yep,

happy 25 pounds.

I said, hold on, says 20 on the board.

Yeah, your car is very dirty.

I still stared for a second,

I was like, well, I'm not doing that,

that's kind of why I'm here.

Also you didn't even see the whole car,

you didn't even see the back of it,

so you might have doubled the money.

I mean, it's 12, because we know you need a car.

I wanted to, does it get cheaper if I turn up

with a clean car?

If they have to do no work, do they pay me?

I just thought that's kind of the level there.

Sometimes they're a little bit,

I see an opportunity here.

I'm going to get an extra five out of it.

I should have just come to you.

Really?

Yeah, my car isn't.

Why didn't you?

You cheat on me.

Yeah.

I haven't watched that car in a long,

long time.

How does this behind it, for the audio listeners?

I don't want to know.

I mean, if I just sound, how do they,

because that's something you do a lot is

polishing headlights.

Yeah, I do do quite a lot.

I actually do quite a lot of these Mercs as well.

This is one of the most satisfying things in

the world to me.

See, I'm going to play a claim here.

I hate cleaning cars.

I really do.

I've tried it.

I mean, even I've asked Will to try and teach

me multiple times.

Will try and come over on a weekend and show

me how to polish stuff.

I can never get a hang of it.

I hate it.

But you like cleaning things.

I like cleaning engine bays Yes.

But I just doing the exterior of cars,

I can never get right.

And if I can't get it right,

it annoys me and I don't want to do it anymore.

The headlight, polishing headlights,

that's the best thing.

It will instantly change a car.

If you've got really fogged up headlights,

perhaps a DIY method at home that's really,

because you use compound, right?

You just use-- I do a safe method.

That means I'm not going to--

It's cleaner.

It's not perfect.

But I'm not going to balls it up beyond belief.

Let's say someone's listening right now.

They've got fogged up headlights.

They want to have a go at DIYing themselves.

What would you recommend?

I recommend getting some masking tape.

Mask all the way around the headlights and

just get a cheapy electric drill with a

little old spongy pad on the end of it and

just go for it with a bit of postion comment.

Because it will look better.

Just like you're running the mail compound.

Just running the mail.

Just running the mail.

Yes.

Some BOGO, you know, scratch X,

compound type stuff, whatever.

It's going to look better and it's going to

improve it significantly.

You could go down the route of doing it all

properly with a dual-action postion or you

can wet sand it and go like--

but it's not worth it most of the time.

A lot of headlights.

It's worth just giving a quick buzz over once

in a while.

Yeah, it makes such a big difference.

I think it's one of the first jobs I ever

did, 20 car that I owned.

It was a headlight polish.

I remember standing back and going,

man, I'm the man.

I'm a detailing god.

And then I slipped with the drill and scuffed

off some paint and I never wanted to do it again.

I'll never understand why more people don't,

when coming to sell a car, don't do little

jobs like that.

We talked about this a few times when someone

advertises a car.

We've probably bought cars in the past,

like the Merc, where little details like

that, little bits here.

If you did it yourself, or if you just paid

Robin 1000 million pounds.

A bajillion pounds.

Yeah, for a detail.

One is fast.

Enough for my dream car.

Yeah.

So about 25 to 30 pounds.

Yes, I'm not allowed.

But just spending that little extra time

doing headlights, looking at the plastic

trims, that kind of stuff that elevates that

car way higher in terms of how valuable it is.

Do you know what I always say when I'm doing

a training day somewhere, is that the paint

on a car is the least important part of it.

You know, people watching who are a big into

car YouTube, Amazon, YC, a classic,

you know.

I remember him as something many,

many years ago that he was working on a car

that didn't have very good paint,

and he called it framing, what they called it

framing, which is when the paint isn't that

good, doing everything else but the paint,

doing all the trims, doing in the wheel

wells, making the tires look good,

will distract your eye from the bad bits of

paint and make you still go instead of a

really good car.

That I always thought, and then I tried it on

my car, I was like, that's true,

it looks great now.

You could wash your car and slap a bit of

spray wax on it or something,

and it'll look all right, but if you make

sure the glass is perfect, the headlights

have a little bit of polish on the inside of

the barrels of the wheels that are really

nice and clean, the tires are nice and satin

and dressed, dressed the inside of the wheel

arches, it's new car, that's a new car.

Absolutely.

On that, wheels, wheels.

I like cleaning cars, I really do enjoy

cleaning cars, not for a while,

I haven't really been doing it regularly,

I enjoy cleaning it when it comes to doing

it, but wheels, cleaning wheels is my least favorite bit.

Often just leave it and I'm relying on a

product to do the most of it for me,

it's the wheel cleaner, doesn't get it all

off, whatever's left, it's in contact,

it's for nature, the wheels go round and

round when I'm going, it should all fly off.

But what is, to you, obviously you enjoy

detailing anyway, but what is the worst part

of like, what is the most frustrating,

annoying, long, whatever part of a detailing job?

Someone comes to you and says,

"I want you to do this" and you go,

"You're fine."

Funny, I don't actually, I don't hate

cleaning wheels, but there is one wheel

specifically that is awful, which is the

Mercedes EQC wheels.

Oh, with the little divot, there's the ring

around the inner.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And there's like 16,000 spokes on it,

it might as well be a sieve.

But what I hate the most is really cheap

carpets that are

really the dirty.

Interesting.

It's so difficult to clean.

Why, when you get really cheap carpets,

they're made of looped fibers,

so they don't cut the tops off the fibers

because they're trying to cheap out on the material.

So in like Audi's and a lot of Volkswagen and

stuff, the fibers are straight up like that.

Yeah.

Which means that the dirt sits between the

fibers and then you Hoover can lift out

almost, yeah, you can put it all up.

We're in a looped fiber carpets.

It's like the soft side of Velcro.

So it traps?

It traps, yeah.

Which is why when you go to the car wash,

you see them out of Kansas spray paint,

spraying people's mats and carpets,

'cause they can't be bothered to Hoover it all out.

And then I'm the one that has to get all the

dye out of the carpet and out of somebody's shoes.

It's spray paint carpets.

Yeah.

You know, surprisingly annoyed of it.

I saw a guy leaning into my car with the full

gun and everything.

Yeah.

Also, if I'm driving back from the car wash

and I get high in crash.

Who am I blaming?

How do I put my foot slips on wet paint?

I don't know.

I had a wet paint sign.

Years and years and years ago,

I had a guy who came to me asking me to clean

the dye out of his carpets, 'cause he'd been

to the car wash and hear like a dark gray

carpets, not black carpets.

And the car wash people had sprayed black dye

on the whole carpet.

They'd obviously sprayed a bit on and gone,

shit, this is the wrong color.

And then just kept going.

So you look underneath under the seats and

it's just, there's like a line where there's

like overspray.

And they just met and then it's gray.

They had to take the seats and I had to clean

all the dye out of the carpets.

How long did that take?

That was, I think that was almost two days.

Just straight up.

Just stripping the interior,

taking everything out, getting all the dye

off of all the plastics and all the seat rail

and the wiring loomed and everything.

Well, that's tough.

Absolutely.

That's the thing, I think I would get,

I would do the first hour, I'd be like,

this is fun.

And then I'd be like, could make come pick up your car?

I've done what I can.

I do get that with, even, I like detailing,

but sometimes if I get something that is

really time consuming, I think you need to be

either ultra passionate about it or very,

very patient because if I don't start seeing a result.

Or you need to be paid for it.

All that.

Yeah, that works too.

All that.

But also if I'm being paid for it,

I'm then panicking 'cause I then still don't

wanna do the job.

And then I'm adding the back half part of the car.

It's because big, there's long panels on that stuff.

And it just takes ages to actually get it all right.

What's the longest job, single car vehicle

that you've ever done?

Like a bus?

Physically long?

As in like the job to finish the most time?

The job to finish the most time.

That would be, I actually had a brand new

Range Rover in 2020.

And the guy wasn't happy with the texture of the paint.

He was really unhappy.

So he took it back to the dealership and Land

Rover suggested, Land Rover said that this is

fine, this is normal, this is how they come

out of the factory.

And compared it to another one,

it was absolutely fine.

But it was very orange peeling,

it looked very rough.

And for quickly to explain that,

that's for viewers, viewers,

listeners.

When you look down the side of a car and it

looks all ripply, but not on the body work,

just the paint, he looks like he has a texture.

Yeah, it's like an orange peel.

An orange peel, yeah, funny that.

Yeah, and he wasn't happy with it.

And I said, well, I can reduce that significantly.

And I did a little test batch,

about six inches square, where I wet sanded

it, and then two or three stages of

polishing, and he went, that,

I want that on the whole car,

and I went, this is gonna take a while,

and it ended.

It's a big car.

It was a big car.

And it was a brand spanking new,

Ranger, it was about 110,000 pounds,

I thought he's specced up to.

And it took six days from the end,

and started to finish.

Just polishing.

Of sanding polishing, and then coating,

and then he wanted interior trims,

coating, leather coating, fabric coating on

the carpets and everything, and he just

wanted absolutely everything,

all together.

Part of me thinks that's actually,

it props, because that car's now worth

probably a third of what it was.

A third of what it was?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Doing that, it's purely for his.

Just so that you can look at that car and go,

that's how I wanted it.

I do find it crazy, that's like a thing in

detailing lab, is a brand new car.

Yeah, this brand new car is not good enough.

Yeah.

On that Range Rover, we found a tiny little

hair underneath the clear coat on the bonnet.

Really?

Wow.

He kicked off of it, he wasn't very happy and

was gonna take it back to Land Rover and have it painted.

I said, "No, don't, please, it'll come back

worse than the factory paint,

it'll look terrible."

So we had to just leave it.

There's one tiny hair.

You know, he was laying in bed,

just going, "It'll be a little bit of a hair."

It was a little bit of it, I was poking out

the top, just waving in the wind.

That is going to cause that car to rust.

One bit of rust, Land Rover just planting

hairs in each car.

You'll be back in 20 years.

That's the car's curiosity.

Right.

Now, the question we've been waiting to ask

you is, we've kind of spoken about this

before, and we said save it for the podcast,

because we need to talk about this.

What is the most disgusting thing,

thing car you've ever had to clean slash detail?

Okay, so there's a few, but there's some

fairly regular occurrence, which is,

Vomit Pooh.

Classic.

Vomit and Dog Pooh, and sometimes Dog Vomit.

So we've got Vomit's one bodily clue?

Yep.

We have had the unspeakable bodily fluid before.

Of course.

Cause that's just in every car.

Perhaps our limo.

Someone's been clotted in that car,

you know.

Yeah.

It happens.

You meet in two, has been meeting two in there.

It's in every car.

Oh yeah.

Oh, bet that makes more sense about Ben's car now.

Now, I've never cleaned my clue as an interior.

Get the black light out.

Any socks, do you ever clean out?

Oh, of crispy socks.

There you go.

I've found sex toys in that car.

Oh!

And you've kept the glove box,

oh yeah.

Ask the payment, you don't have the details for it.

But the one that sticks out is,

it was a--

It's a family podcast robbery,

no.

(laughing)

So there was a BMW, I think it was a five

series, a three series, I can't move,

this was a long time ago.

This is when I was still mobile.

And the occupants had been driving to

hospital because the lady, was on the verge

of giving birth, stuck in traffic.

And unfortunately, she gave birth in the car.

Okay, or fortunately.

Fortunately, yeah, all safe and sound,

baby was healthy.

And they had an ambulance attend,

in traffic.

And then the lady deteriorated slightly,

so they were rushed off to hospital and the

driver of the BMW followed behind.

And the lady wasn't very well for a few days,

so the car was left in the hospital car path.

I think a grand total of just,

it's either four or five days in total.

What sort of time have you?

It's just bang in the middle of summer.

Ooh, of 2020.

So it was baby storage juices.

But she'd been in the car waiting long enough

that some of the afters have come out.

All the bits.

No.

The placenta.

Okay, fair, sorry.

Oh, yeah, I just don't know.

(laughing) (laughing)

Do you ever imagine we are looking for...

(laughing)

Keep pushing.

I am.

(laughing)

I

don't know if you know, but when you give

birth, I didn't realise this until this day,

but everything comes out.

It's all just everything everywhere.

So there's poo sometimes.

Whoa.

(laughing)

There's a lot of pressure backed up there.

That's fair.

It's everything, yeah.

It's not fair.

It's like getting shot.

It's kind of a miracle.

So a little bit of poo's.

Yeah.

So there was a more TDC out of context.

I like that.

(laughing)

Did babies come out covered in poo?

No, there's a different, let's come on,

brother.

It's a different channel there.

But if you're also, I don't know how,

there's quite cars.

(laughing)

Biology lessons with Ben.

So there was kind of like everything in the

back of this BMW.

It was the back seat.

It was the back seat.

The Uber style.

Yeah, okay.

And yeah, it was left to cook in the car park

for five days.

And during those five days, I think it was

like 28 to 30 degrees Celsius.

So a real oven in there was a real oven.

Yeah, last half.

And he--

Could he cook up another baby before?

And the chap, really nice guy,

but he hadn't left her side for five days.

So he was in the car park, unopened for five days.

And I remember him calling me from the

hospital car park, having googled sort of

valeting services.

This is in Farnborough Hospital.

And he said, "This has happened."

And I went, "Ooh."

I'm close to Nate.

I quite like that he was googling,

so he's out of the bedside.

Yeah, it's gonna be all right.

You're gonna be fine.

No, no, no.

Then he turns away.

Let's see if he can go.

He goes, "I love the seats."

They can do ceramic detail, ceramic coat at

the same time.

That's the amount of value actually.

And yeah, I heard it to clean.

And what pretty?

So, no, I wore some old clothes,

but I did wear a face mask and disposable gloves.

And I threw the Hoover right after.

I threw the vacuum away.

Yeah, it was really, the smell is something

that I will never, ever forget.

Oh,

there was a gulp there.

Did you charge for the Hoover?

I'm not asking the real question.

No, genuinely, did you charge them for a new Hoover?

'Cause that's crazy.

Yeah, so the Hoover that I use is a Titan,

it's like a screw fix one.

Yeah, yeah.

And I had this one on Black Friday sale at

£44, so I factored that in.

It was all right.

It wasn't too bad, I didn't feel too

unreasonable charging that, so I factored it

in and then I charged on the hourly basis and

I

added a bit on, 'cause it was a bit of a,

bit of a, no.

Yeah, I'd give anything to go back.

(all laughing)

It was so, I cannot describe how,

you know, it's not even like rotting meat,

it was like.

so accurate and putrid and it was so,

and it was sort of topped with poo.

(all laughing)

It's like Gordon Ramsay

describing him a dick.

So that was by far the most

disgusting.

I went home and had a shout straight,

I couldn't bear to like, I just felt disgusting.

(laughing)

And so that's the most disgusting.

Yeah.

What about the weirdest?

Or something that you, they basically wanted

no questions asked, but from what you could gather.

Okay, so I did find, so when this was booked

in, I didn't know that this was a story,

but basically I had a car come in and he

said, I've got loads of blood in the car.

I said.

It's my wife's just giving birth to us.

And I didn't ask any questions.

And he said, I need the interior cleaning,

'cause I'm selling it.

Okay, are you selling it after there's loads

of blood in it?

And all the seats had been cut up when there

was loads of cash marks and seats and dents

and all the panels and broken glass.

And I went, what has happened?

And he said, it's easier just for you to explain this.

It's a crime scene, clean up.

And I went, right, but who's crime scene is this?

Yeah.

Are you the police?

Yes.

Will I now be part of this crime scene?

I wanted to ask him, like, okay,

what's happened here, but I thought,

I'll just clean that up, just not ask any

questions, that's fine.

And then he did, I was really suspicious when

he came, I was really worried when he showed

up at the workshop.

I thought there was gonna be something really

suspicious, and it showed up with bin bags

over the windows, and he showed up wearing a

hazmat suit in the car.

Oh.

Because he drove it there.

He drove it there.

He drove it there.

People have driven across.

They'd been, yeah.

My God, fine, it's in detail.

And he showed up in his hazmat suit,

and it was like, I was thinking,

I'm gonna get arrested for this.

I'm gonna be in Liqueur, yeah.

And he explained to me that now I bought it at Copart.

Ah, as a previous crime.

Yeah, and a previous crime thing,

and it was supposedly had been cleaned up,

but he kept going around and finding more and

more blood and all sorts of stuff.

I don't know what happened to it.

But you got it all cleaned?

But it was all cleaned, it was all fine.

Yeah, there was a lot of air freshener in the window.

Yeah, a free little hanging air freshener here.

Banana, banana scented.

Happy trees, blood flavor.

Crime.

Then you got questions.

Why do they sell that to people?

They usually won't.

If it's a biohazard, it will sometimes be a

car, so they will just go, no.

Why would you buy it?

1:11:12 Most Disgusting Car Cleaning Experience

Because sometimes it's a very good deal,

because it's just blood and stuff.

The car's mechanically perfect.

Yeah, but someone's been killed in that.

But you can drop out the seats.

Well, not necessarily killed,

you might have been injured.

Well, by apparitions, I'll be worried about.

Get the Ouija board out of the airport.

You know, I don't think I'd like a car

that's, you know, imagine, when you describe

a car, when you go, "Oh, this one's crash

damage," you go, "Oh, kind of fair enough,"

you go, "Oh, yeah, sorry, a two-pack was

murdered, didn't they?"

Yeah, kind of weird.

Worth more than that, though.

Yeah, fair.

It's crazy.

I was buying it, though.

No, no one's buying it.

No, it's all for like five mil.

Next CDC car.

Is it worse to know what happened?

'Cause I think I'd feel worse if I knew a

crime had happened, saw the blood,

saw the cut up seats, and then didn't know what happened.

I'd rather guess.

Yeah, that's worse, 'cause I'd be,

my mind goes to all kinds of places.

But you can make up yours.

But the path, so the path that we bought and

copart that was stolen recovered,

what?

'Cause I said bath, it's a kind of crazy.

And you didn't say bath.

Sorry, yeah.

Sorry, go get back.

Okay, so the a bath that we bought,

that?

No idea.

That could have been stolen,

that could have actually been stolen.

Someone could have been running around in

that for weeks, just smashing stuff up,

doing whatever they wanted.

We'll never know.

Murdering.

Yeah, pillaging.

Eating Vikings, do.

(laughs)

Eating ice creamers and throwing them in the

glove box,

Yeah, you're meeting too.

But yeah, it's the unknown.

I just thought of another really horrible one

that I had to clean.

It was actually a really good customer line,

and he shops at Costco.

And in Costco, you can buy one litre cartons

of double cream.

(laughs)

Two of those, in the back of his Range Rover,

both of them went over and both them burst.

And he went all down underneath the boot

floor, down the wiring loom underneath,

you get panels that are spot welded on,

and then there's like a gap,

just a seam in it, all in the seams there and everything.

And he went into the boot carpet,

down the, literally down the insulation tape

around the wiring loom and everything.

Everywhere.

Everywhere.

And he tried to clean out the best bit,

even in the most of it, and then called me up

and went, it's just not good enough,

I need help.

And I was like, come on, come on.

What was the cheese?

The smell was cheese.

And it wouldn't go away.

It was a very persistent cheese.

It did car up until it all melted.

(laughs)

Car in at 180 degrees.

It marinara sauce on the top pepper.

And you enjoyed this?

That's a tough question.