The W12 Golf is BACK, More Toilet Tales and Identifying Ninky Nonks - C.R.E.A.M. #73

0:00 Introduction

Wazoo, bang, spit.

He was using his door to shield it.

He was just pissing next to his car.

If you go into a bush and you're quiet about it,

then...

You're quiet about it as you don't moan.

What are you saying, Ben?

What's going on?

Hello, and welcome back to the 73rd Cars Rule

Everything Around Me, the podcast where we

decide whether cars rule or ruin everything around us.

William, to my left.

Benjamin, to my front.

Hello.

Let's start with Will.

What is it this week?

It's a rule.

Again, no reason to ruin.

The Clio is up and running, which I think we

said last week anyway, but that's just going

to have wheels refurbished and some of your

wheels as well.

Maybe we'll get on to.

What else?

What else has happened?

There's nothing else that's really happened.

Well, there was a minor ruin,

but it could still be a rule?

Yes.

There was a hint at bidding on a car last

week, and I was hopeful.

I was technically the highest bidder but didn't win.

Just basically, there was a reserve and blah,

blah, blah, and then the seller didn't accept the offer.

It was very, very nice.

This is an Audi R4 event.

I think it was the video's already out,

but the auto Alex guys have just got

basically the cheapest RS4.

It's a saloon for a ridiculously cheap amount

of money, but it's a bit rough.

It is a bit rough.

And that got me searching, and then that one

literally appeared the next day,

so it felt like fate.

Well, I've been looking for something fun to

replace the Range Rover as a daily.

And I said, I wasn't going to sell the Range

Rover but now the weather's getting nicer here.

Range Rover's winter car, it's great for

puddles and muds and whatever else.

But now it's getting the commuter works

looking fresh and nice.

I want something a little bit more fun.

So RS4 feels quite good, feels quite practical.

Obviously this is an auction car,

so I haven't been able to see it.

It's way down south somewhere.

But fortunately this episode has been

sponsored again by the guys at Car Vertical.

So I did a Car Vertical report on it and it

came back good.

Obviously I did some extra research as well

and I've obviously spoken to the seller,

but doing the initial car vertical search

gave me some good peace of mind at a really

high car vertical score as well.

It did tell me that the car has been sat for

a while, so the car hasn't done that many

miles for the last four or five years,

but Car Vertical flags it up and says,

"Yo, that could be an issue.

It might not be an issue.

It's worth bringing it up to the

seller to see if you can get some money off

or find out why

it was doing that."

What was the score?

The score, I think

it was 83 out of 100.

like a 50s.

Okay, it's like half way.

And 80, we saw an 80 the car the other day.

I can't remember what it was,

Ben.

Both you and I went, "But yeah,

that thing's in 71 or something."

Was it your dad's car?

It was like a 97 or something.

Yeah, it was a wow.

That's a crazy one.

That's amazing.

They give you a score, but more than that,

they will also tell you if the car has ever

been crashed, clocked, mileage rolled back,

exported over to a different country and

crashed there, it does the lot.

And it can even pull up things like spec of

the car on some of the Merck's and Audi's and

German stuff.

They can pull up specs, which is very cool.

as well as all of the mileage histories.

So if you're going to do a report,

make sure that you use our discount code that

is cream 20, gets you 20% off your next report.

So if you're buying a car, leave no stone

unturned and do a car vertical report.

Plus, if you know you're going to be buying

multiple cars this year, you can actually

batch buy reports.

And then you can get a discount of up to 50% off.

Honestly, we lose it every single day,

basically, because we're searching for quite

a few cars, but thank you very much to Car Vertical.

Shout out, Car Vertical.

Anyway, this are us four.

I thought all hope was lost.

I had a bid in.

It was thousands more than I started off at.

Now, I want to quick aside, because I know,

unfortunately, I know Will very well.

And I said, I think I said to both Ben,

and then I said to my girlfriend when I got

home, Will's founder car, the reserve price was seven.

And so Will, I immediately was like,

right, it's an RS4 with wing max.

It's got, it looks really like the

surroundings of the guy's place look lovely.

This is the sign of a nice one.

And Will was like, I get that.

was like seven easy.

And in my head, I was like, that car's going

for like nine and a half grand.

So Will went, I'll go in at like seven,

seven, seven, or whatever the first bid was.

And I literally had my head thought,

by lunchtime, it'll go up another couple

hundred quid, by the evening,

it'll go up again.

And then by the time we come in in the

morning, it will have gone off a grand or so.

And I'll get in the morning and will win.

I've been more on that.

Yeah, I've been more on the RS4.

Because the way the auction works,

it tells you how many bids there are,

but it doesn't tell you where it's at.

The auction doesn't happen until it lasts

like 24 hours or however long it is.

And then it ends at a specific time of the

day and it'll say right.

And then the bid happens, basically,

without you seeing it.

So you could say, oh, my bid's 25 million

pounds, but if someone's bid 25 million

pounds and won, you lose.

They will win.

It does go up by literally singular pounds.

And you cannot see anyone else's bid.

It's like a sealed bid auction where you just

find out at the end if you're the winner or not.

But the thing they do tell you is how many

other bids there are.

There are a few.

I think it ended on 26 bids,

which is high.

I think that when I bought the CL,

it was like 10 bids showing for me.

And this was 26.

So I upped it a few times.

I think I ended up at 9669.

You always go for a little weird number.

It's a little weird number.

It goes at 9650 or something.

And it ended, but it sold without actually

accepting that offer for 10.1.

So I missed out by just over 300 quid,

three, four inch, which I was very upset about.

So I sulked for the rest of the evening.

And then I thought, and then the next

evening, it appeared next month,

morning it appeared again, but I could buy it

now way higher.

So I made another offer, just over 10,

still nothing, wouldn't accept.

And then Sunday morning, I was like,

all right, there has to be, there has to be

more RS4s out there available.

I go on also a trader and what photos do I

see, but the exact same car.

So I've spoken to the owner,

I'm going to see it on Saturday.

It will cost me more than what it was,

but it's still very cheap for an event with

the wingbacks, which is the key for me.

I could not have one without those seats.

No.

And the problem is those seats are three

grand for RS4 specific ones,

3,000 pounds for good condition wingback

seats, which is tough.

It's crazy.

But so there is still hope on the day.

There is still hope.

So that would mean there would be a rejig.

There would be L32

6:14 Golf's Bonging Issues and Weekend Adventures

would go.

So hey, anyone wants a nice L32,

please let me know.

I'm having a service on Monday.

L32 will be replaced by RS4.

Clio would become, I described it earlier as

a talk fill.

It would fill in the daily bits that the RS4

could do when the little run about,

which means it wouldn't necessarily be track

car, but it could do track.

It can go on it.

And then the Glado is ultra special.

Look at this weather.

We can't go out with driving driving.

And then the McGann.

We do not talk about them again in much the

same way as we do not talk about the 850i.

We do not talk about them again.

There has been an update on them again,

which they may have, I may even have it back

by this point, but possibly not.

Well, next podcast, we'll see where Will goes.

We do not talk about them again.

Ben's in.

I'll go ruin.

Nothing's changed.

It's still bad.

It's not bad.

You've had a week.

So you've sorted all the

issues on your car.

Oh, nothing.

No, we're doing a second

channel video on that car.

So all of it will be fixed.

We're

not.

Well, I found out today that apparently the

plan was

we were going to do it all together.

I found out today.

What was that?

I don't think that was a plan.

Was that God's plan?

Was that a plan?

I'm a presenter.

That's interesting.

I thought I'd do a video with myself.

So we just fixed your car for you now.

That's the-- No, I was going to do it with you.

That was the whole point.

That's what we did in the world.

That's interesting.

What was the plan?

No, Ben.

I was informed that apparently we're doing a

full switch for the day.

So these guys are going to film the entire video.

I don't know.

Is it you think it's going to take all day?

Probably.

Yeah, absolutely.

It's going to take all day.

So what is the video for people with Ben,

though?

Just doing things to my golf,

sort of fixing the little issues and then a

couple of smaller little mods,

little lowering springs, perhaps.

So like for a normal person that's like a

couple of hours.

Exactly.

I've never done lowering springs.

So I've got to do that on my own.

I'm not looking forward to it now.

I'm from the last year.

Actually, this is why this is why I threw

this little, this little, this little TNT

into Ben's mind is I knew that he'd go,

he'd be all like, Oh, yeah, they're going to

fix my car for me.

You've had enough.

I didn't expect you to fix it for me.

Thank you very much.

I just expected you to do most of the work.

No, we would do it together.

We would just as it arrive and then he just,

you just chuck them out and we go,

your cars, you get a message,

like you're going to a service and go,

your cars are ready to go.

And we said, do you want to lose walk around videos?

It goes, yeah, that's, you're not going to

want to change their tires or that free mill.

Ben was expecting that thing.

You know, there's the viral video of the guy

doing the pat down, but he's not touching

them at all.

He's where Ben walks up to the car,

pretends he's working out, goes,

Oh, God, this is so hard.

I'm not going to do this.

And then we come in and fix it.

I'm afraid that's not the case anymore.

It will be start to finish.

If you went out from us, they will have to be

payment and not save money.

They'll have to be payment.

Sorry.

the game, which is Project Gotham Racing 3.

Sorry.

All your listeners do not care.

Now, yeah, that's tough one for me.

I can't lie.

I don't know.

Well, I hate it.

It's our, it's our, it's meant to be a second

challenge, but it's not meant to take us that long.

So it will take us long now.

Here's the thing, Ben.

It's going to, we're going to be there to

help you emotionally, spiritually,

emotionally.

You're going to make fun of me though.

No, no, that's what I mean.

We're now, because we can't help you.

We're, we're going to be on your side,

mate.

I would like it if, if, yeah,

I hate having to worry about filming it as well.

Now, maybe it's the that there's one that is

a, the, a devil on your shoulder and the

other one is an angle on your shoulder that

is, is, is, like, Will might be being to you.

I might be helping you.

And we might switch, it might be good cop,

bad cop.

We might go bad cop, bad cop.

You know, we might just leave.

Yeah, we might not be.

There are three things to do.

Okay.

It's full set of lowering springs and dampers.

Right.

Which I think should be okay.

Even though I will be using that footage.

I think there's a oil level sensor,

which I know, I'm, I'm pretty clear up on that.

Okay.

It's just a service.

Well, we'll service it sometimes.

And then I don't have a door handle,

so not that.

But you're not going to order one?

No.

Oh.

I can't find any.

I don't want to buy.

You can't find door handles.

I was in like a second hand while I had to find it.

Is there like an aftermarket version?

I don't think so.

Okay.

For listeners that work didn't,

maybe didn't get last week.

Why do you very quickly need a whole new door handle?

Because I actually haven't, have I spoken?

We did.

Yeah, we did.

I've read the link.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Don't I?

I have cutest entry.

My cutest entry has stopped working.

It turns out it's the antenna in my,

in my, in my passenger door handle.

Yeah, it's good fun.

So Ben gets, Ben, you know what we drove with

maybe all day.

He gets really angry with it.

No, no, no, no, no.

Shut your mouth for a second.

Hang on.

Almost, almost like when Ben's working on a

car, we were driving a bit under 10 miles an hour.

He was like, yeah, great.

Isn't it great?

Yeah.

So Patrick was with us.

Patrick was with me.

Yeah.

And I do genuinely think he didn't know what

the Bong was.

Obviously we knew what the Bong was because

he told us.

And he was sat in the back and he went,

Ben, Ben, why does your car keep bogging?

I could see.

Just seething rage.

What I've learned about it is that so it bongs.

If you then stop famously, you stop,

turn the car off and back on without the key

exiting the car, doors opening nothing,

it goes, we're in the car, Bonnie will stop.

The second you open a window,

the sun roof, a door, even just for a second,

it comes back and you've got to restart the car again.

But also that whole journey,

I hated it.

These guys, I don't drive to lunch.

That's not my thing.

Famously.

Famously.

But this is why we said, Ben,

it's your turn to drive.

No, I don't drive to lunch and Will had stuff

in his Range Rover.

So they said, let's all pile in the golf.

I was like, okay, fine.

We did that, but I just, I burst you.

I hate driving you guys.

I hate it.

How old would you say Will is in your passenger seat?

Will is not even born in my passenger seat.

He is the most infant child you have ever met

in your life.

He just presses buttons and the irony is,

if I did that in his car, he would throw me

out of the sun roof.

For somehow when he's in my car,

he can press every single button.

If I like to know what they do,

just throw it into neutral.

Yes, I was going to say, we're like 40 mile

an hour in neutral, Buzz.

I was actually really getting quite annoyed.

I'm not driving you again.

You actually like verbally abused me.

Badly.

I'm venomously went at me.

I've decided I'm not doing it again.

No, I can

go to lunch in my car and you can go in a different car.

We'll see you there then.

Fine, completely fine.

You're not perfect.

This is Ben's plan a little.

I hate, and also, you guys are such opinion drivers.

I feel like if I do anything wrong with it,

I get bullied.

He says this.

What we're doing is pressing buttons and

having a little jovial little journey with it.

I'm sad that it's japering.

I love my car, set up how it is,

and then you're there pushing all the aircon

buttons on the radio and it's bonging at me

because the key's not in it.

I put it in sport mode.

I don't put it in sport mode.

I use it in eco always.

No, I use it in normal mode.

Anyway, Ruin because nothing's changed and I

still have a bonging car and hopefully--

Golf never changes.

By this time next week, it won't be fixed,

so here we go.

We don't know that.

I'm not here.

Pre-empting, we don't know it.

13:14 ML63 Rear Window Incident

Are we preempting a ruin next week?

I've got to drive

it.

I've got to drive it around a trip at the weekend.

Ben's extrapolating his ruin.

Anyway, what was yours?

I am going to say it's a rule.

On this weekend, last weekend,

on Saturday, I drove, well, so you will see

I'll do a little anecdote on the side first.

The ML63 is behind us.

If you're an audio listener,

it may seem, well, you don't know that

there's an ML63 behind us as such.

If you're a video viewer, you will see me

reaching over here and grabbing.

Imagine if you've seen Die Another Day when

Halle Berry has the tummy full of diamonds

and he kind of picks them up.

Jow's face.

Jow's face.

I'm just going to, that's glass shards.

Jamie, one of the guys who works here was

very kindly going up to pick up Will's

mystery car for a project.

And we got a call and he said,

"Oh, my God."

And we were like, "What, Jamie?"

And he went, "No, the back window's just

smashed in on the ML."

Completely spontaneously, the back window on

the ML63 shattered.

Completely shattered.

Were they all talking big bumps when nothing,

they didn't even drive over anything.

He just went, he was no way.

Jamie described it as he thought he was shot at.

Yeah, so here's a photo of Will's wide phone

with a photo of just what, that's what he

looked in his review mirror to see.

So currently the ML63 has no rear window and

we've got auto glass coming around tomorrow

to do it.

But the reason that that's important is

'cause I was gonna take this car to go and

get some new wheels for my Clio.

Found some 16-inch Rose heads,

Renault nerds will know that that's special.

And then this happened on Friday and I

realized, "Oh, I have to take my 36 tomorrow."

My 36 has had, I would say, on slicks at the

front, 'cause I did the alignment myself.

So I quickly fixed it, got it already,

and in cleaning the wheels to put the tires

on, sorry, in doing the tires,

I had to clean the front wheels.

I was like, "Oh, well, it looks quite good,

actually."

I mean, clean it up.

Clean it up, got the wheels very happy.

And then someone messaged me and said,

"There's a meat on Sunday.

"Do you have anything you can bring?"

And up until that point, E36 was daily,

but it looked clean.

So I was like, "Oh, I'm gonna do that."

Went to the first car meet of the year.

Southside hustle in London, it was really good.

There was a lot of special stuff.

While it was good, there was a lot of no,

no, no, no, no, no.

Drove down in the defender, yah,

yah.

It has lovely day, isn't it?

So it's a little bit poncy, but at the same

time, it was a very nice meeting.

There was a lot of nice people.

So the rice meets, I like those meets.

Yeah, just a morning meet, proper,

there was also, I will get onto it with the

ones of the week.

There was something, there were two

Splendiferous cars there.

So I'm saying it's Rule for me and the eight

series hopefully maybe might be back next

week for the next podcast.

I'm so excited.

I'm so excited, I can't wait for that.

It has vibes to me of them again.

I just don't ever expect to see it again.

But the reason is, I said to Chris the

painter, I'll be honest mate,

you're kind of acting as free storage for me

over the winter, take as long as you want.

To be fair, and you know what he said?

No, we have seen it.

Shout out, Chris.

Obviously, it's fantastic.

It really does.

I'm like, yeah.

Mégan?

Yeah, Mégan is, it's all happened again.

It's a wazie, it's a wazie.

Did you get one?

No, no, one day.

I've usually said video on the channel that

AI, fully AI powered.

Oh yeah, that was good, yeah.

Yeah.

And I also, I've decided to re-die the

interior on the eight series.

I found a really nice one in Cognac.

That's gonna, that's gonna, I was about to swear.

Yeah, you know it.

That's gonna, yeah.

So I need to find someone to help me re-die.

We do have Chris Licks.

Chris Licks, yeah.

He's gonna help us.

He was, for the other project,

for the mystery project, which is gonna be large.

This is gonna be very large.

I need to do some measuring this evening for

that project, for that project actually.

So lots of cool stuff, coming,

the eight series is gonna, is gonna be Cosmos

Black over Cognac interior with even Cognac

dash and an Alcantara roof.

And it's gonna be, I'm excited.

So that's, I'm real, for that reason.

What anecdotes and things have we got?

Well, we've got, we've got anecdotes.

We've got a few, we've got a few that we

didn't get to last week, Benjamin.

So in theory, you've had a few days on this.

Here we go.

BMW leaked its upcoming models.

I heard about, I saw something about a

four-wheel drive M2.

Perfect.

We ruined it.

What the heck?

Was that it?

Yeah, well, there's a few, one cares,

it's like, I X3's and stuff.

No, no, I do.

No, hang on.

I X3 is that sort of thing, no one cares.

No, but I do.

You care that they think the I X3.

I want to know what they've leaked.

I don't know anything about anything at all.

I think, so basically their US website,

you know, you go on there and it goes,

choose a car to buy everyone.

And then you, and it has like all the different options.

It has a car.

It has options.

Yeah.

So it came up saying, we've got 2027 M2 X drive.

This is not confirmed.

It might, I don't know if this is even real.

It looked real.

Apparently it's kind of, it's a thing that's

sort of been known about.

Right.

So four drive also, wow, doing some big

speeds, like smaller chassis and car with a

big engine build.

Ooh, catch me at TX2K.

I X4.

I X4.

So that is a.

So that's a.

SUV, coupe.

Swoop A.

Swoop A.

Swoop A.

Swoop A.

Swoop A.

Swoop.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I got the new swoop.

Jump in the swoop.

We got a 740 IX drive.

What?

I don't know.

So I X was like, is this a sort of

four-by-four seven-series?

Oh, sorry.

No, actually, I could.

So yeah, that's a B58.

Sorry.

That's a B58 drive, B58.

Ooh.

That took her out for a second.

BMW, I want to say it's me right now.

If the CEO of BMW is listening to this,

which they definitely are.

He obviously would be.

You can't call everything IX right as a

electric and then call it a 740 IX drive,

because now I'm thinking it's electric,

but it's not.

It's an 740 IX drive.

IX, though, is a very old BMW term for four drive.

But it's the original term for IX.

It's not like an electric for my four.

Exactly.

But that's before the number.

It is, but I was read it then as 740 IX.

So you can have an IX for IX.

So what it is to clarify, we've got M2X drive.

We've got IX for 40 X drive.

Oh, God.

Which is the IX for I so it's the electric

version of the X4, whatever.

And then we have a 740 IX drive.

So sure.

B58.

Just chopping people in the 7 series.

Yeah, and we cool.

And then we've got the IX 350 X drive.

I assume a quick electric one.

BMW, you would have chosen one.

You made it so simple.

Three, meaning the three series,

the small guy.

One eight, the 1.8.

What are you doing, man?

But basically, all we care about on that list

is the B58 7 series and then also the forward drive M2.

Heard.

And they're quickly deleted it,

but 2027.

So that would imply that it's a this year

release for 2020.

Yeah, right.

It'll be mid to late this year.

It's interesting, but it's like,

it's kind of, it's interesting because,

but you'd also think, I hope it would

obviously have a switchable mode.

I mean, like the M3 and the M4 did,

but it's like, do you, do you need that?

I get,

20:11 BMW Manual Transmission Future

it depends how much weight.

If you've gained a load of weight for it,

then that's not so great.

Ben, why was that funny?

I thought you went, if we've gained a little weight?

Yeah, it depends how hard you are.

I mean, if you're massive, yes,

get the real dry one.

You can balance it out really if you're thin,

get the extra.

I guess if you're going for ultimate launch

control speeds, then maybe.

Is

it going to be a facelift?

Manuals is old.

BMW is going to phase out the manual and it's

a sad one.

So we've got a M.

Boss.

Sorry, who's listening to music?

It's you, Ben.

You have the news article playing,

don't you?

Yeah, no, that makes sense.

Let's do go.

Hey, Ben, you heard it here,

third.

BMW M.

Boss, Frank Van Nen's Mule warns the manual

transition is nearing its end.

Transition talk limitations.

So because now they're models of...

What?

I guess because they want them to be as easy

to use as possible.

So they're going to want organic,

like, nice...

In our head, we're like, yeah,

mate, I've get manuals that handle seven,

eight hundred horsepower, but that's like a

twin paddle clutch.

So maybe, I guess, I guess, but there's got

to be, like, Ferrari's and things have had

manuals with loads of power for them.

I think what they're saying is that it's not

that they can't, 'cause I'm so sure they

can't, it's that it doesn't make any sense

because they have to over-engineer it,

I guess, like the clutch.

They do that anyway.

But then to then, no one to buy them.

Meanwhile, true.

True.

And the S-58 engine.

Yeah.

Oh, I would.

The thing is, I think I've always said this

before, it's easy for us to go nah,

but clearly they have data.

There's data that is saying like seven people

bought this last year.

But they kind of thought that about manuals before.

They go, right, no one's buying manuals.

And I guess they probably was data suggests

that they're not.

And then kind of grudgingly loads of these

manufacturers brought manuals back.

And now people do buy manuals.

Yeah.

So they're not killing it because people

aren't buying it.

They're killing it because they can't support

it because of the power it's making.

That's almost sadder in a way.

Oh, no, actually, no, you want them,

but we can't.

They're saying that they have to detune the car.

So the M2 they had to do that with.

They had to detune the manual version because

otherwise it-- That's fine.

Yeah, but I think for them, if they've got to

develop more stuff, it costs more money.

And then they don't want to buying it.

But then I have also just about the 40%

uptake on those.

It's not on manuals.

Yeah, on the cars it's offered on.

That's crazy.

Because you compare that to like,

you know, like E92s or that kind of era.

Like there was just that period where no one chose it.

Which is why they're so random.

But if people are still buying it,

get it down.

I can also imagine that from a production

standpoint, it's a lot easier.

If they all have the same transmission,

they're all identical.

You just buy a billion ZF8s.

Whereas if they're like, right,

this one production needs to be a manual.

This got to be an auto.

But it gets a little bit annoying.

It's almost like they're seeing it wrong by,

they don't get it by saying,

I'll be up.

But you don't want the manual because you

want more power.

But do they?

Yeah.

Would people be that bothered if you just

came up with just the 500 or power,

but you couldn't get a manual.

And then there was also a, some sort of ZF

option or whatever.

But it's because they're going for this,

you know, we need to make 700 horsepower from the M2.

Surely we got to.

Well, we have to.

Mercedes is made 800.

So we need to make 900.

And tomorrow we'll make 1000.

Like maybe it's a sales thing where they know

if they don't keep up in the numbers,

people don't buy them.

But I don't know, maybe I don't think that's

necessarily true now.

So no, they're going to retain the manual in

the M2, the M4 until 2029.

But then the 2027 electric M3,

M3, M3, M3, M3, M3 and the future

hybrids are going to get rid of them.

So basically 2029 should cut off.

Wow.

Unless they do a u-term.

So we've got a while yet.

Yes.

Well, no, we don't.

So what we got next?

Are we off BMW news now?

We're on to the two.

We're going across the part of Germany,

two Volkswagen.

Now, some of you car nerds and perhaps even

top game nerds among you will remember the

review of a W-12 engine golf.

Ben, do you know about at all?

Do you

25:04 W12 Golf Concept Car

remember this?

Yeah, very, very, very, very,

very, very, very, very, very mildly.

Is that the word?

Yes, or medium hot.

You kind of, you sort of.

Let me know a little bit.

Okay.

But basically, I mean, not only is it one of

the coolest, it's a concept car.

They weren't ever going to put it in production.

It was a look at us.

It was kind of a parts bin thing they took.

I think it was like the rear axles out of a

glardo or the gearbox out of a glardo,

which I think is the rear axle.

The W-12, turbo out of the Bentley and a

bunch of other bits.

Basically, the brakes were like,

all right, blah, blah, blah.

But that used to be white and they recently

brought it back.

Now it is red, but I saw some revving videos of it.

It was just revving it in a studio.

Oh my God.

Does it sound good?

It sounds great.

I mean, it's still turbo charged.

It was a little bit muffled,

but it's concept car.

Yeah.

So they don't care about any of that stuff.

It's just shooting flames in the video.

It's really cool.

Because it was 50 year anniversary thing.

But they, I can't remember if I'm,

I'm right, but I think they built it for,

because where the sea was that huge big event

that they used to do in, I think it's Austria.

But it was originally a Volkswagen meet.

And so Volkswagen kind of clocked on to it

after a while and went, right,

everyone's modifying these golfs.

We should kind of embrace this and sponsor this event.

I've, I've, from memory, this was built for that.

And then they went, oh, also this is just

kind of cool.

We should chat about this.

Yeah.

And hence you saw it on top key.

So I'm assuming it's now been rebuilt for 50.

Yeah.

It would have been what?

What was the, what was it, edition 30?

Yeah.

It was going to say around 30.

Wow.

Common hell.

That's 20 more years.

But basically they kind of rebuilt it.

But the video, I saw a little bit revving.

I was like, wow, that's cool.

I mean, I remember when Clarkson drove it,

he was like, none of this really works.

It's no except car, but it's a concert car

with an engine, which is really,

really cool.

But there's so much custom work.

Like the bodywork is like, that's clearly

six, but times.

Yeah.

And then like the rear wheels,

they're just like, was it the monster wheels?

Like how wide the gears are.

So that's a custom.

wheel.

And I think the seats in it are their wing

backs, but retrimmed wing backs in like black and white.

Yeah.

So but that is a really cool concept.

And I quite like the Volkswagen.

I said, you know what?

Little anniversary.

Yeah, it's going to go out.

And a quick one.

So it's got some data on it.

So it was, it was, it was, it had a tiptronic gearbox.

Like our discussion last week about tiptronic.

But yeah, 650 PS at the time.

It was an estimated top speed of 201 miles an

hour and not put not to 60, 0.7 seconds.

And it's all driving blah, blah,

blah, blah.

So it says the GTI International Gathering is

celebrating the 20th anniversary with 20,000

fans set to attend in a diverse range of GTI models.

This, joining the Golf W12 on display

examples of historic Volkswagen's.

Yeah, it was, that was this,

that was a press release in 2007,

June '07 was when that came out.

That's a long time ago.

That's coming up on almost 20 years ago.

That's sad.

That's a tough, that's upsetting.

But yeah, it's just, I think it looks better in red.

Yeah.

You know what?

I think it's, the white was almost like a

pearly, like a weird little kind of metallic

in it, which doesn't suit a golf.

Whereas the red is, I'm not a red man,

but that's cool.

It's like, it's kind of, red for a golf kind

of works with this stripe and whatever else.

But yeah, one of the best concept cars,

because you've actually seen it working.

And if anyone hasn't seen the video,

we're going to find it somewhere out there on Instagram.

Flames are always cool.

I would have liked if Volkswagen embraced

some Mark V Golf culture and put some like

cheap Chinese, cheap Chinese head unit in it.

Like, as if it had as lived for 20 years?

Yeah.

Like it's got, it doesn't have monsters anymore.

It's got the EV because CHL's.

Yeah, CHL reps.

It's got the whole shoe bag from Mark V Golf.

It's got an upgraded brake kit,

but from something else.

It's got R32 exhausts in the middle,

but it's been crudely carried into a bumper.

It's just PD inside of the back window.

Anyway, so next up we have, that's cool for Volkswagen.

Next up we have Castle Hoom.

Now we spoke, I think a few weeks ago about

track corner names and that there's some

ridiculous ones there's a bomb hole that

we've got a screve corner and cheese end and

there's some of those.

Castle Coom have renamed some corners and one stands out.

Okay, I was going

to say you're going to make us guess.

No, I was going to give you a list,

but I think it's actually too obvious.

It's called Guches.

Sorry.

Now also for Americans who Castle Coom

to us is just normal.

Yeah, Americans are probably listening going,

your track is called what now?

It's Castle Coom.

It's Coom the Coom track.

Yeah.

And it one is called Gooch Corner.

Gooch Corner.

And I laughed and then I sort of had to not

laugh because it was to do with a legend.

His name is, sorry, his name is Gooch.

Now I thought his name's Rodney Gooch.

I thought it was going to be Willie Gooch.

No, Willie Gooch.

That wouldn't be funny though.

No, it wouldn't be funny.

What have he been struggling for his life?

What are some of his achievements so he can

bring us back down to?

I've Rodney Gooch is a chief.

Rodney Gooch.

Everyone's talking about yourself.

Right, Rodney Gooch.

We're not trying to put the man down here.

I just didn't research it.

Rodney Gooch is a Rodney Gooch,

riding a T-50, T-250 CC Suzuki,

a T-15 place out of 48 starters in 1974.

Now, here's something I've just

30:16 Rodney Gooch and Track Naming

searched up, his name.

Now, he's called, so Rodney Gooch,

but he has a nickname in the middle.

Whenever he's referred to, he's referred to

as Rodney Rodder's Gooch.

That's how you know you're a successful racer.

You get all the name.

yourself a little nickname that goes in

between your first and last name,

you are the other boy.

You're an absolute guy, like Wayne the Rock Johnson.

Exactly.

Like David Racing drive.

Favorite motorbike racer of all time.

So, you know, you just, you don't want to

just shave the grass at Gooch.

You don't want to just trim the verse.

You don't want to shave the gooch.

You just, you don't.

Never cut the gooch.

Dangerous to shave the gooch.

Don't cut a gooch.

Don't cut a gooch.

You've got, you just want to get it nice and smooth.

You've gone too far if you've shaved the gooch.

It's funny, someone's name, and he's a legend

obviously, but it is called Gooch.

If I'm going to a track and I know nothing,

and I look at the track, I'm having a gooch.

Gooch, I'm not going through gooch.

But anyone else, please, there were some more

funny names, maybe next week we might read

out some of those funny names.

If you could please find some more funny names.

Some of the American ones were quite ridiculous.

Also, quite plausible that you could just

make things up when we go.

Yeah, that makes sense.

That's fine.

No, no, no, no.

That's top dead corner, yeah.

Absolutely.

Ben, this is one for you, you put in.

Hi.

Gee whiz/Ninky-nunk.

This is--

Ben's got PSA.

It's important.

Creamers, listen up.

I appreciate your messages.

Try to send those Ninky-nunk videos.

He hates you.

Not true.

He's blocked you.

Not true.

When you send a video of a small car,

I want verification.

I want you to look at it and think,

is this a Ninky-nunk?

Or is this a Gee whiz?

You're right.

For those who don't know, a Gee whiz was a

42,000 electric--

It has to fall into that.

What is it, Quadra-Cycle?

It is a Quadra-Cycle.

No, no, no, no, no.

A Ninky-nunk.

What have we got?

But you're only looking for one kind,

because actually, I disagree with you on that.

The Ninky-nunk.

I've seen some funny ones that fall into--

Do you know what?

Here's my, here, I'm gonna make a claim.

I don't know where Gee whiz is from,

but a Ninky-nunk, like ours,

can only be French.

Okay, no, sir.

There are lots of other Ninky-nunks.

All the built-in France.

Where's Gee whiz from?

That's what I don't know.

I'm gonna look at it.

Gee whiz, that's from France.

Yeah, but the thing about it,

right, I get a message and it says,

Ninky-nunk something, like, rolls over in

Paris or explode somewhere.

I'm like, cool, let's give it a watch.

I opened the video.

It was something that said fire,

didn't it?

And it turned out to be a Gee whiz.

That's not a Ninky-nunk.

And it's disappointing, because Gee whiz,

look at that.

That is not our Ninky-nunk.

I'm just trying to see if this is,

yeah, no, hold on, it was founded in 1994.

I believe it is an Indian company,

the Gee whiz.

So France really Ninky-nunk.

Because it's French culture.

Exactly.

Exactly.

It's European.

I'd say, yeah, Europe.

It's European in nature, Europe.

Shout out, shout out my Dutch creamers from

the heartland, because you guys are mashing

up Ninky-nunks like no one else.

If you're doing God's work.

There was that great video of someone flipping one.

Exactly.

I don't know if we spoke about it,

but we got a load of people taking us in the

downhill racing thing, which we thought was,

we were almost sad.

We thought it was dedicated Ninky-nunk racing.

It turns out--

It wasn't.

No, it's just kind of, it's just kind of tan

up with some bullshit and you can go down a hill.

We may look into that, we may look into

becoming the champions of the Ninky-nunk Grand Prix.

I just think that I get so excited when I see

it and I want everyone to just please be a

bit more vigilant.

I know it's something from me,

research before you said.

Mirror, signal, manoeuvre.

Send me a problem microcar and not a G-Wiz.

G-Wiz are now, you know what,

I'm saying it, cream bands, G-Wiz.

Now, I'm gonna let you in on a little bit of information.

This might take me a second.

Second to research, the creamers may not

know, but Will and I are now quite well

versed in microcar law.

French creamers are gonna go,

I know about this, obviously.

They made a

microcar that has the front and rear end of a

Peugeot 205.

So, now, what this opens the door to is a 205

GTI-bodied microcar.

And that is T-16.

Or a T-16 one.

So end goal, I mean ours is the best,

the Samsung based ones.

They're the most sought after the HSE Luke's

as well as is tucked away in a storage unit.

It's also quite literally next to the RSX.

It's actually being dry stored.

So, we're keeping that nice,

but we might have to foray into a 205 Michael car.

Yeah, we may add to the collection.

We have said that there are many cars that we

have, obviously.

Some of you complain about it,

in which we are getting through them.

But the microcar is probably the only one

that can never leave.

I believe there are two cars that must remain on TDC.

And that is the microcar and the E55.

They are the two ends of

TDC.

We like cars and we like modifying them and

here's one

with the big Supercharger.

And also, here's some bullshit.

Here is, this is just funny.

But we've said, there's no, A,

we don't want to get rid of it.

No, it's funny.

Also, we probably can't get rid of it.

It's not worth it.

I mean, it's not like it's worth 20 grand.

No, but what I'm saying is that we're not

going to make 20 grand off it or whatever.

Yeah.

Would we buy a flag six hundred a quid?

No, it's because it's a thousand pounds.

A thousand pounds.

I don't know that my man who bought it for

his wife and his wife didn't like it.

Oh, what a surprise.

I've spent some time searching and I just,

I can't find it.

I'd like a dedicated creamer to please go out

and find me the 205 based micro cars.

'Cause there was, I remember seeing one that

someone put like a faux GTI kit on.

They also made them in a van,

but more importantly, I just went onto a

French site to look for them sale.

This is how my brain works.

And I found this will, which has,

you know how 90s, 80s, 90 cars,

they got graphics upside.

Especially French cars, they usually have

like a little-

A zest.

A zest or an independence or something.

Or some famous man's name.

Tell me for the audio listeners what you

think about this

one, which is on the side of a micro car.

That is speed.

That is speed.

Not speed.

Now I've seen this elsewhere on French cars before.

The translation might put up.

Ben, any guesses on what I might translate to?

I would assume speed.

Is that your final answer?

No, slow.

Okay.

It has an exclamation mark in it.

So slow, speed.

For visual listeners, any thoughts on that?

Okay, no, that's-

It translated from Italian.

Okay, from Italian?

Any thoughts right?

So I translated it from French into English.

Speed translates to?

Speed.

Speed.

It's suggested to go to Italian,

I've done it.

And it said actually in Italian,

it's spied, but in English that is spied.

37:01 Ninky-nunk vs Gee Whiz Microcars

So what it's essentially saying is that is

not a word?

No.

So they've such spied.

But you know what?

That's, you're not quite like that little graphic.

Yeah, that is.

That, it feels

like, you know when you see World War II

bombers in America and they've got like

bouncing betty written up beside them,

really cool font, it's kind of that.

It's kind of like comic book.

Yeah.

Wow, wazoo.

Bang.

Speed.

Which is not how I would describe this

microcar, which honestly looks like it,

that is a, it's actually shameful to let one

get into that.

That's an unrestored example.

That is ripe for a restoration.

I've got it here.

What?

A speed, a supply point identifier,

a unique 10 to 13 digit number.

No.

You can identify specific business sewage needs.

No, it's not that.

No, this must be slang.

I've also got slang for a major pot head.

That's it, could be that, there you go.

Ben, mate, you're a bit of a speed.

I don't think I am.

Is that true?

So that's your public service announcement

is,

It's not message, Ben.

Don't make this incorrect.

You know what, as much as we love you guys,

Ben, not the biggest fan of the Korean's.

Ben, big Kater, he's just turned off all his

notifications.

He's blocked all people from taking and stuff.

Well, of course, 'cause he's blocking them.

It's classic, it's Ben, once again,

back on the blocking.

Yeah, that, Ben, you didn't like that.

Right.

Ben, you've said there's a response from an A.A.

man.

What does that mean?

Well, to many folks, thanks for getting in

touch, everyone.

Other recovery services are available.

We are not that they can get in touch at all.

We are not tied to any one brand.

Not just there, you've got your RACs,

your green lights.

I don't know anymore, but I'm sure there's more.

The green light is insurance green flag,

I think, is what you were after.

Yeah, no, that's

great.

You've got green flag, you've got Adrian Flux.

Harvester, KFC.

We've got Microsoft.

I don't know.

Also, support your independent recovery.

Recovery, yeah.

You know what?

Shout out to our man.

Shaba.

Shaba, what a deep cut.

He loves Shaba.

Shaba is a man that used to help us transport

cars at car throttle, and he would pick up

the phone, his name's Ryan, by the way,

but he'd pick up the phone and go,

"Shaba!"

And that's why he's known as Shaba,

just a random little anecdote for you,

but--

I used to love it when Shaba would come to

the unit, because we'd all have a great chat.

Oh, just a genuinely the most sound dude on Earth.

He once came to save my eight series at

roughly one in the morning on a random

stretch in Oxford, and went,

"You've got yourself in some trouble,

"you mate, I'll make your own do worry."

Just the nicest dude in Earth.

So, random, completely unsponsored random

shout-out to our mate, Ryan,

who runs a company called Oxford Vehicle Transport.

If you're in Oxford and you need vehicle

transport, shout-out to him.

Simply the nicest man.

Anyway, we had responses from big transport,

I guess.

Shaba's not involved in that.

He hasn't responded as far as I'm aware.

I might ask him for the next podcast to give

a voice note.

He loves a voice note about what cars he

picks up most.

That's a great shout.

Yes, I asked the question, what are the

actually most common cars you see getting picked up?

And you used English to ask that.

And where did you translate that?

Let me try Italian, I'm doing English without my phone.

I'm trying.

Can someone just do this to me?

What are the most unreliable cars on the road?

What cars do you actually see for people who

pick them up and respond to broken vehicles?

What are actually the most commonly found?

Yeah, what are the most pick up things?

How many cars are there?

Are there cars?

Okay, so a lot of people did come out with

what you said, which was the,

it's the most

commonly bought and sold cars.

Good, you made it through

that one, that's all right.

Most common cars you see on

the road, obviously, you're gonna see more of

them broken down and all the other ones are

badly maintained.

Sure.

But we got some highlights here.

Okay.

Should we take in each a guess?

Sure.

'Cause I think we didn't, I don't know if we did before.

Let's say, well, I was about to say Vaga and

JLR, just kind of covering about 60% of the market there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I'm gonna say JLR, but more Land Rover,

the Range Rover.

Are we going models?

Sure.

How many cars have you been given?

Like the top 10?

No.

Okay, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say like,

a Fiesta's up there.

Yep.

Just because of the sheer number of them.

The Fiat 500.

Oh, I think that's a good one.

Again, there's a sheer number of them.

The Land Rover.

Discovery, I'm gonna say Discovery more

than--

I was gonna think that.

I was gonna think that.

I was gonna think that.

I think that Discovery more than like evokes

and reindrovers and like strumming things.

I was trying to think of the most.

I'm gonna go with what Edwin said.

Okay, great.

And then for, I'm gonna put in a five series.

Oh, crazy.

I haven't heard a five series at all.

You haven't heard a one.

It's like a medium size BMW.

I say large.

Yeah.

I wouldn't say that, large is a seven series,

but okay.

That's big, big.

That's okay.

Anyway, give us the numbers.

So JLR stuff, surprisingly, eyepaces will

mention a few times.

Interesting.

Electric boys, which I didn't see.

Now eyepace is a car.

Is electric.

Correct.

E-pace is not.

Correct.

That naming thing can really go to hell.

Yeah, anyway.

So you want the eyepace to be--

The eyepace, well, no, ey kind of makes sense

'cause it's like iPhone, right?

Yeah, but I think I think it's like saying--

Yeah, iPhone's electric.

E-pace.

It's true, not mine.

E, it has E in it.

E-electric pace.

What about an Evo though?

Case closed.

But what about like--

I think eyepace is sports calantra.

Do you?

I've got pace.

I'm gonna get you.

Well, that's the thing, they,

well, no, 'cause they started the pace thing

being a four by four, which also,

yeah, like you said, makes no sense.

What's the big F-pace?

Exactly, F-pace is hard.

Like, stop doing that.

Surely, I guess the type is the F-type is the sports car.

E-type F-type makes sense.

You know what, also, I like an F-pace,

an F-pace.

F-pace SVR.

I've seen a couple SVRs.

Very nice.

They're not quite as chopper and whopper as

a, no, as a Range Rover Sport SVR.

That's a fair point.

Although, lots of them in that blue,

and that doesn't suit it.

It's too, it's too, like, look at me.

Yeah, what I'm looking at you is your service costs.

It's combat, step back, and you're sort of

rationally chained.

(laughs)

Carry on.

There's a lot of other places out there.

Keyers and Nissan's, mostly cash cars.

Do you know what that makes sense?

He surprises me.

Yeah.

They always have that, like,

mate, you got 74-year warranty.

They're just not using it.

Yeah.

Maybe it's, everyone does one big warranty

claim on the side of the road.

That's it, yeah.

Yeah.

So there's those, there's also Golf,

Fiesta, Astra, Fiat 500s.

So have gearbox or clutch problems.

What's out of all those?

Fiat 500s.

Fiat 500s.

I'm going to put that down to user error,

I think as well, I think, myself.

A lot of it was obviously, like,

badly maintained stuff.

Yes, the more cars there are,

the more, and the cheaper they are.

Like, Fiesta's and Astras and stuff,

there's so many.

Ben, that's a great point.

The more cars there are, the more cars there

are to break down.

Am I having an episode?

It might be, yeah.

Subscribe.

Good stuff Ben, I like that.

So basically, a lot of JLR stuff,

and a lot of common stuff, but I would,

I'm going to put the crown at JLR.

I think it has to be.

Because there are a lot of them,

but there's not the same level of JLR

products as there is.

Exactly, exactly.

Or forwards.

That's my point.

You're seeing a lot of those,

because there's lots of JLR.

for their little area of the world,

there's still a lot of them.

But if you can say--

What's the competition there?

Yeah, true, as in like luxury,

getting into like luxury, BMW stuff.

Yeah, true, like I think that would be like

sevens and whatever else.

But still not to that, I think it's got--

But you've got millions of VW's,

millions of focus on the road.

I think there are millions of JLR products.

Also--

But I'm saying there's more VW like Golfs and

Fiesta's on the road, and there are like Land

Rover's, but even then the Land Rover's,

top of the part, what's the,

what's that plane theory where it's the cars,

the planes that came in that had bullet

holes, they would reinforce the bits that

they weren't shot at, not the bits they were

shot at, 'cause the ones that could make it

home had holes in them already.

We know that one.

I don't know that one, it's a new one.

I'll go on, pause.

No, sure, it's for the planes rule everything

around me podcast.

Cream.

Well, planes ruling are ruining this week for you.

Here we go.

It's called the Survivor Ship Bias.

Survivor Ship Bias is the logical area of

course, is the logical error of concentrating

on entities that pass the selection of

processes while overlooking the ones that did

not, this can lead to an incorrect conclusion.

So if a plane flies home and it's full of

bullet holes, instead of reinforcing the

points where the bullet holes were,

which clearly it didn't need,

'cause it may still make it home,

you reinforce the parts that weren't hit,

right?

My point here is surely all of the really

terrible cars they've broken already.

We've had the years in the game,

the TVRs, the Maseratis, they're gone,

there aren't any left to break down.

They've had their, they're watching new ones come along.

So in theory, you go, ah, the JLR cars,

they're bad, but no, the ones before,

the P-38s that came before it,

the L-322s that came before,

they're already gone.

Also, what about the unrecorded breakdowns?

Ones where friends and family help,

or there are, you know, people aren't

recording these numbers.

How do we know about these underground?

We need to crack down web breakdowns.

We need to, like the government is with

breakpads, we need to crack down on this breakdown.

need to be more.

Next summer, Creamer, you're analyzed.

And you see a broken down car.

Tally.

Tally?

Okay.

Chuck in the comments.

Say, I've seen this week, 78 broken down

range of a sports.

You've used the podcast, look at the comments going.

No, okay, some of this was about the podcast

I was watching, but a load of people just

talking about cars, they've seen broken down.

Oh, sorry, an asteroid down the other day.

It's just a man having a piss.

No, no, no, no, that, we do need to,

that needs to be excluded.

Yeah, you can't have them.

Because I did, I see that pretty often.

Also, I see a lot of people pretty pliers

there about pissing on the side of the road.

I've seen you're facing the road.

That's what I mean.

No, that's getting into public indecency,

that's flashing.

Is it technically illegal to do that at all?

I think, yeah, I think.

But if you go into a bush and you're quiet

about it, then-- You're quiet about it isn't,

you don't moan.

What you say, Ben, what's going on?

I don't know.

I saw something awful in a services once,

and it was short after business.

It was just the opposite.

I mean, essentially, it was,

I was just after being off at a television at

some services, which is a classic little bit

of-- Have you never had that before?

What?

Oh, sorry.

You know, yeah.

So you go to a services and a well-to-do

trap, not well-to-do.

It arrives in a van.

I got some speakers if you want to buy--

I got some TV's in the back of the van.

Do you want to buy a bargain TV?

Ben is from Bristol.

He knows nothing at this.

What is that, a television?

That I've heard of though, yeah.

Transmit, everybody just crossed the road where?

I actually got a TV.

But anyway, so this man arrived and said,

"Yeah, do you want to know something you need

to go to?"

And then, so I didn't buy the TV,

obviously.

But then shortly after that,

there was this sort of pickup truck.

Like two spaces back.

I was parking in my sort of empty part of the

services, sort of like the back rooms.

Yeah, I'm sorry, as a side note,

do you then walk back out to find your car

surrounded by the vehicles, but then like

another part of the car parked just empty.

Oh, these empty-- Oh, yeah.

The magnets have turned on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But there was a man.

He was using his door to shield it.

He was just pissing next to his car.

And I thought we're out of services.

Like I can understand, if you've been caught

short, you're in a motorway and there's 30

miles to the next services or whatever.

You made it.

Pissed by this type of road,

by all means.

I don't know if it's illegal,

but feel free to piss.

It's better than pissing your pants,

isn't it?

But this man was pissing.

Basically, not in his car.

But if you looked over, you wouldn't really see anything.

You wouldn't notice anything.

But then I just saw this puddle of fluid coming.

He's just pissing next to his car.

car in a car park.

I think that's interesting.

That's like being at home and getting the

doorway of your bathroom and then just having

a wonderful.

I've made it as far as I can.

We're talking about the limo,

man.

The man who pissed it.

Oh, I think we did.

I think we did.

But not in that much detail.

The man that I asked, does he have a toilet?

And buying the limo, made a deal on the limo,

cool, everything's good.

I sort it out.

I had to go.

a tiny little housing estate.

Yeah, you were there for that.

I said to a guy, do you mind,

do you have a toilet that I could please use?

And he said, yeah, no, of course you can make it.

Come on, come with, I had to walk through his

garage and then through like a,

like a, like a, like a ginner at the back to

get, to get through to his like garden.

I walked into his garden and he walked up to

the, he walked up to the door of his house

and then turned around and look back at me

and went, he can piss against that wall there.

And, and I went, and I looked at him and I

went, are you sure?

Like I, can I not use the toilet?

And he went, no, toilet and all that.

I've just, and he said, he said to me,

I've just been pissing against that wall there.

And I, and I looked over and there was residue.

Like there was.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And he, and he went, I'll walk,

I'll go back.

I'll leave you alone to it and walked off.

And so yeah, go on then.

And I was, I was so uncomfortable.

And did you?

Yeah, I did.

Because I really need to.

But he'd like, honestly, I'm,

I'm pretty, not, not much can phase me,

but I was genuinely perturbed.

I was like, what?

This feels wrong.

I don't like this.

Yeah.

But you know what?

You got to go sometimes.

And that guy in the pickup truck said,

Hey, I've made the services.

I'm not making any forever.

I've seen, I've seen.

I guess maybe he was that like,

you know, he's just done 30 miles.

And he's like, I have to piss you.

You know, when, you know, when you come off

and it says like, this services has Burger

King Starbucks.

And it says WC, it says toilet.

He went cool.

So like anywhere I'll do, I'll just take a dump here.

Never actually pissed at the side of the road

in this country.

Have you not?

My first time to do it?

No, the first time was, there's a fair trip.

I just needed a pit.

I think it might have been in Germany.

There was some, there was some long,

it might be, either there's a Varo or the Porsche.

I've got, no, I've got video with it.

It's Will walking through the long grass.

And so I pissed in the long grass.

We've got, what's written about Ethan's?

We have, do you know what, Ethan,

you start on that and I'm gonna get the video

of Will up.

Okay, we've built quite a few trips.

during car throttle time, Ethan will not

appreciate this, where Ethan has,

has needed to go the toilet quite badly.

Which, who's Ethan?

Ethan, sorry, Ethan is all the gear

presenter, ex-carter or presenter and we used

to work with him and he, he used to need to

go for a, for a wee and we'd be out in the wilderness.

So it's actually valid to have to go for a

wee, nothing wrong with it.

For some reason, when me and Evan were filming.

Sorry, what?

Sorry.

That was a, that was salivating.

You slept spaghetti there.

Sorry, a real quick one.

Did I?

Yeah, that was just that.

Sorry, man.

I was imagining it.

Ben's really hungry.

I shouldn't.

I've lost my train of thought.

Edwin, me and Evan would, would,

would be doing some filming.

And for some reason, Edwin took it upon

himself to whenever Ethan was going for one

of these pisses, get the Ronin,

which is like a stabilizer.

I think that makes your camera completely stable.

And he would get this beautiful panning shot

in it of the back of Ethan with just a mystery.

And when you have what probably four or five of them?

goes and I used to, it's a window inside our mind.

I used to edit them.

I, I, my goal was always to get slow-mo

footage and with a really good scenic background.

And then I'd edit in inspirational speech

quotes over the top of it.

Or it's like, you need to stand up.

Keep fighting.

Don't let them get you down.

With just this beautiful vista in the background.

And then, yeah, Ethan, Ethan,

I will see if I have it.

But I do have, I do have you here,

Will, which is a nice one.

Hopefully in my, you know, you're on the way back.

So if you, Ben, if you could narrate.

Sorry, sorry.

This was, bearing in mind my first time.

Also, people listening to this podcast going,

why do I listen to this?

You know, it's just, well, you

know, come back.

He looks, he looks stressed.

You do.

You look unhappy.

You look unsure of what you've done,

if I'm honest.

You're sure if it's legal, you know,

different country.

Well, I go to jail for pissing,

you know, in a bush.

And I actually remember what the words were.

You say the atmosphere was absolutely I have

vomited at the side of the road.

Not that everyone wants to know that,

but it was quite troubling.

You know, sometimes you drive.

God, it's got me salivating.

Sometimes

you might be driving and you start to feel a

little bit ill, but nine times out of 10,

possibly even 9.9 times out of 10.

You overcome it.

You open the windows.

You do something like that.

When you get home and you're sort of past,

so you have some water.

This didn't.

I was on my way to work in the morning in my

M5, no less.

I was driving when I was like,

this will pass.

And then after a while, I was like,

I am mashed.

Like I'm starting to feel a bit drowsy,

a bit bad.

And I just pulled over.

I'm related to any drinking,

anything at all.

I was feeling fine the previous day.

I was feeling fine when I left.

No problems at all.

And randomly on my drive, it was like an hour

and a half and 40 minute drive.

Then like 40 minutes

54:20 Emergency Piss Stories

in.

So I'm on the M40 and I'm plowing that,

driving down the level.

70.

Yeah.

Plowing it 70 down the very time.

And to be fair, I was.

And the way I was feeling, I was like,

I was doing 60 somewhere.

And after I just had to pull over and I got

out and the most projectile thing you've ever seen.

I got beeped out by lorries.

I thought that's not fair.

Also, as if you were to go,

Sorry, actually, you know what,

I'll stop.

I'll get back to the car.

That one's on me, yeah.

They might have been taking the piss,

but that's the only time I've been caught

short, so to speak.

What would you mean, it might be like a hope

you're okay, mate?

Oh, actually, no, I pissed in a fridge bowl.

Jesus Christ.

I want for context.

No, no, no, no, the audience know that we

were a bit worried about being light on topic.

This podcast.

No, I remember that.

And instead, we're still out pissing.

I've got no more than that.

That's all we need.

Let's move for a little bit.

Well, go on, just go on.

No, I was, I'd been to the football or

something in London.

First and first.

What's a fridge?

Fridge, is it?

Americans?

You piss in a fridge?

Fridge, F-R-I-J-J, it's like a milkshake

chocolate milk type thing.

I happen to have a bottle of it.

This is a long time ago, I'm talking like

probably 13 years ago.

And then--

So specific!

I'm talking like 13 and--

Well, no, it's okay.

I'm saying that is because I'm gonna have my

fiesta, that's for the reason.

Okay.

And I was parked on a London street and I

should, I just come back from football

somewhere and I should have pissed at the

stadium, but I didn't piss at the stadium and

I thought it's fine.

I got to the car, I was like,

there's no way I'm holding this piss in.

So I got in the back of the car because there were tints.

Alone.

(laughing)

Alone, no one with me.

And I just pissed into this fridge bowl

thinking, after, you start to fill it up and

I thought, how much is in me?

How--

Well, if it starts to overflow,

there's nothing I can do.

The fridge is 500 milliliters.

No, but this is the thing.

Anyone that has ever done this will very

quickly realize how much you underestimate

how much piss the volume.

Really?

Oh, absolutely.

How much drinking you're doing on average one?

A fridge bottle?

Well, I didn't overflow.

I didn't overflow.

I didn't overflow.

Oh, did you get near?

I was pretty close, but I put the lid on and

I was taking it home.

And then what was you talking about?

I kept it, I put it in the fridge obviously.

(laughing)

No, I threw it away.

You returned it to the best case.

This doesn't taste great.

It's not chocolate milk.

(laughing)

I want my money back.

Oh God, we are children talking about children.

Apologies.

Do we have a forum?

No, no, no.

We have something.

We

have something, sorry.

Do you like to read that?

It's Ben's fault, it's called.

I've seen it's Ben's fault.

I've seen it's Ben's fault in our chat.

It's been sent in anonymously by Steve.

Please keep me anonymous.

This is a forum questions, I think.

Title, it's Ben's fault.

I've been looking for a new motor in a new

job, I'll be doing 50 mile round trip,

motorway commute four days a week.

I was looking at diesel golfs for economy.

Then Ben goes ahead and pulls the trigger on

a Mark 7 Golf GTD, which I've always adored

and I decided I had to get one.

It's a fantastic car.

I purchased a Mark 7 DSG on a 16 plate,

that's old school dealer talk.

It's on a 16 plate.

With just number 70K on the clock,

I've been commuting in it for a few days now,

I love it, but the MPG is not what I thought

it would be.

Ben, what is your MPG?

Not what people say.

It's a 4045 maybe?

Okay, so a 45 on a good day.

People say 60s and I think if you hype mild

on the motorway, you would probably get 60.

Well, here's the conundrum, I don't.

It's been struggling to average 42 MPG on the

commute, even an eco mode.

I had a 16 plate set in the past with the

same gearbox and engine, which would easily return 55.

I appreciate 42 sounds amazingly compared to

some of the stuff you guys drive about in.

I assume the difference is down to the tuning

mapping of the engine or ECU.

I'm not a practical man and I've never had a

car or tuned in inverted commas.

My question for the forum is,

if I ask a tuner to map the car for economy,

will I be laughed out of their unit?

I know that when cars are tuned for power,

it can impact the longevity,

reliability, is that the same tune for

economy over power?

Keep up the good work, I look forward to

listening to your next installment of the pod

on my commute.

Thanks, anonymous.

First thing I'll say, I've forgotten it.

No, that's exactly right.

That's fantastic.

No, adapt to cruise control.

Absolutely sucks, MPG.

Right.

That's worth while.

I did a test the other day.

Here we go.

I want them that's right, that's 70 miles an hour.

Ben Science.

And I tested, just holding it with my foot,

that's 70, or five miles.

We'll be brainy over here, here we go.

Yeah, and I got 52 MPG.

Okay.

Check it on adaptive cruise,

next thing you know.

Why is that?

Why is that?

'Cause they're speeding up.

Were the conditions that matched the same?

Were there any hills?

Pretty similar.

Okay, and were you behind any lomries or big vehicles?

Yeah, 'cause it was late in the evening,

so there was no one around.

Okay, so it was scientific.

I think it's a mixture of the fact that you

have, it is constantly, it's not constantly

changing speed, but it is adapting and it's

working out constantly.

And also, because there's only the sensor for

it is one block on the very front.

So it will break if someone comes in front of

you, but actually it will break later than I would.

If something pulls out in front of me,

I will just very gently just slow down.

Whereas the adaptive cruise kind of,

it depends how far you've set it.

It's a bit jerky.

It will go, they'll come out in front of you

and it'll go, haven't seen it,

haven't seen it, then directly in front of you.

It goes, whoa, where did you come from mate?

And then you've got to speed up 60 years.

And it goes, it's the brakes and goes,

whoa, I didn't see him and he disappears and

it goes, whoa, if we go again.

But it is a good feature, I'd say worth it.

Now, to answer the other question,

which is, can you ask for an eco-map?

Most maps, especially for diesel cars,

are eco-based.

It's just the bonus of having more power and

more torque and that's what it's done.

Like your Range Rover got better mileage with

your remap for that.

So that was, it is sold as an eco-map.

I think now there will be experts that's

listening who will know more.

But that, an eco-tune, there isn't really,

there are eco-tunes, there isn't really such

thing as an eco-tune.

It's still designed to give you

1:00:09 Eco Remap for Economy and Power

more power and more torque, but the idea is

that it gives you more torque lower down or

something like that, it increases drivability

so that the engine is working more efficiently.

So it's still trying to get more power.

The eco thing is kind of like a bonus,

'cause a lot of people would put off by the

fact that you're gonna get maximum power out of this.

So like, from what I've heard is that like a

stage one, one tune, if you like,

and an eco tune, there's not like a huge

amount of difference.

They might try and get a little bit less

power out of it, but it's the drivability of

it so that you're not, you're using less

power more of the time or maybe the other way

around, I can't remember.

So yeah, I mean, eco remaps are incredibly popular.

Especially on diesel, turbo diesels.

They will work.

It's very much worthwhile you going and

looking at one of those.

And to answer, does it, you said here,

I know that when cars are tuned for power,

it can impact the longevity,

reliability, power is that the same if tuned

for economy over power.

I think if honestly, unless you're tuning

near the ragged edge, unless you're going for

like a 99 mat tuning on a car that's got

really heavy timing changes,

the difference in reliability will come from

the person driving it more like a knob.

It will be that you're thrashing around.

If you have just a normal stage one map on it

and you drive it the same as you usually do,

I don't see there being any difference in

longevity on the car.

It's just going to work the same.

It's just that we as clown car people get a

stage one tune on their on your car and go,

"Oh, this is wicked.

It's not beating the piss out."

At the same time, your oboes just,

they get welded straighten your oboes,

but the elbows.

Sorry, obviously.

That's probably what happens with the map on

the Range Rover.

You go, "Cool, you go map.

I'll drive you economically."

No, you've got extra power now and now you

want to use that extra power.

That is the problem with that is that you go,

"Cool, I've got extra power.

I have more torque and I can feel that and

now I've felt it.

I'll use it more often," which is why some

people will do a e-code map

and then get less impugy, basically because

you're now

driving more of a penis than you were before.

A lot of it's

down to your right food.

Yeah, so do it properly, not like some

backstreet mapper, but the other thing I will

say is that a lot of them are using the same thing.

Yes.

When people say they're going to give you an

e-code map, you aren't getting a custom tune.

I don't know.

I'm sure someone could do that,

but it will be very expensive.

There is platforms out there that have

hundreds, well, 40s, thousands and thousands

and thousands of cars that have a sort of

cookie cutter, eco or stage one map on there.

They buy the license and then they charge you

the, obviously the bit on top,

obviously.

That's basically how it works.

But you just want to go to someone the way

there has been reviews of, you know,

they're not just designing themselves or

selling bad maps, but you want to get nice,

just look at reviews and make sure that

someone has been doing it for a while so they

don't brick your car.

Yeah, absolutely.

You don't want that.

I want to know one other thing.

Okay.

Why is it that, okay, so you would,

I would assume that if you get a power map on

your car, that that's a bad thing because

you're stressing the car more than the

manufacturer wants, right?

But if it is better economy and more power,

why from a factory isn't not tuned?

Because it seems like a win-win to me.

Because the manufacturers have to be,

they have to tune one map, one engine piece

of software that applies to most or all

regions that have different fuel capabilities.

So in order to, so let's say,

okay, they're sending a GTD to the UK.

They know that our fuel is going to be cool.

However, they send it out to parts of Africa

where the fuel, the quality of the fuel is much lower.

They don't want to have every goal they send

out there for the first, after one month,

come back with a blown engine,

because they've been running it too high.

Not so much with diesels, but let's say a

petrol or turbocharged car that's a little

bit more highly strong.

They don't want to deal with that,

that come back.

So they detune the whole car in all of the

regions to bake it more safe and more less

likely for those sort of things to happen.

The less, the further away you have it from

that ragged edge, the less likely you are to

have people coming back with broken engines,

broken cars, that sort of thing.

If you know, so my Clio, which I actually

forgot to mention in the beginning of my

rule, my little Clio 172 has gone off for mapping.

It's gone to a dyno and has had proper

mapping for those cams, all those sort of things.

We'll talk about it next week when I have the car back.

But that car now has, because he's now mess

with the timing and pushed it quite far,

has to have 99 wrong fuel.

Because if you use worse fuel,

it can detonate under like acceleration.

1:05:00 Fuel Quality Impact

And I'm like a turbocharged car on a higher

horsepower car.

That's bad.

You do not want that.

So you have to run 99 fuel now.

That's basically why you see like porshes and things.

They'll say 99 run only or 98 run only,

because they're tuned for it.

They still are much more detuned than they

usually should be.

But so that's where that little extra bonus comes from.

You run the risk of running it a bit more ragged.

You get the extra power that they know that

the car's fine to make.

And you save some money.

And sometimes it's to do with like where that

car sits in a lineup.

Like, yes, they might be able to get your,

what is it, 170 or something.

It is the Golf.

Yeah.

So like, but you could probably tune that to

over 200 quite easily.

Yeah.

But it's like, well, hang on,

the GTI is in, is in that sort of region.

So it's, they have a sort of pecking order.

It was like, this car needs to sit here.

And also manufacturers will dim parts of the car.

So we don't think that should be pushed to that extent.

Yeah, like drive shaft.

So they probably are fine, but a manufacturer

is not going to do that.

Cause if they send those out and they'll die,

it's, it's, it's done.

Because any time you tune it,

you are, you are, you are probably shortening the life.

It might not be by much, but you are

shortening the life of certain bits by more

than they would be standard clutches,

drive shaft, anything like that.

Anything that is power is going through is

under more stress than it was before.

Even I'm just sort of like an eco map,

depending on how you drive it.

Yeah.

If you're, if you're like, especially if

you're raising boost on a turbo car,

there's more stress.

Yeah.

There's more boost going through the whole thing.

I had to think about that.

The brain driver was 140,000.

miles and all of a sudden, the boost is being

raised on it.

But again, it's more of a, I'm not driving

that car like a penis.

I'm just getting more torque low down all the time.

But I am, but not like that.

It's not a track car or, you

know, just after you pull onto the motor

after pissing, you,

you know, have that labor.

Yeah, quick vomit as well.

So,

shall we, so?

So you've been doing a GTD remap stage two

bus, stage two, yeah.

I'm in trust to do both of you.

I'm

in trust to do both of you.

No, no.

Never.

Because it's illegal.

Yes, you keep those.

You can't do any juddly because it's good to

suck your own farts.

That's actually what it's doing.

Well, it's your brake pads, but it's almost.

What are you talking about?

Well, you're going to have to pay for those.

Yeah.

Your pay body.

Why?

Ben's brain is gone.

It is massive.

I'm saying the fart thing was because an EJ I

was basically that right.

It's recycling its own dirt,

yeah.

But we got it, man.

Don't worry.

It's all good.

Shall I stop talking?

Let's move on to something a little bit more

friendly that we can end on.

Now, I've teed you up before this podcast began,

Ben.

Ben, what is your want of the week?

I don't know.

He hasn't been thinking about it.

He hasn't thought.

Also, you said, "Oh, I know,"

and then we started the podcast.

I have got one that is same as last time.

Is it V12 on to it or Vanquish?

No.

Do you not just have a little like,

you just have thought?

I want a Clio.

Oh, one of that.

Oh, you know, it was last time.

I still want a Clio.

And now we've seen your Clio more and we did

that driving thing with it and you revved it.

So Ben, Ben was, we drove to the tie shop

earlier to drum.

Will's Clio 200 with my wheels in the back of it.

And there may have been a slide in the 36 on

the way back on some gravel that was great.

But more importantly, Ben and I were in the

36 new behind us.

We were zig-vagging through some country roads.

And Ben went, I like that.

I want a Clio.

I want a Clio.

I want a Clio.

I want that.

But of that shape.

I want a Clio.

Not that Clio.

Not that Clio.

I don't want that Clio.

But I want a, why is it 197?

197.

I want 197.

Sprinkle Blue.

Do you care about the color?

We talked about this last time.

It's exact conversation.

Oh, you did.

But

you're not.

I can't remember.

Were you not all the black

ones?

Yes, you can.

I would have that.

I offered you one.

I

was the same man who offered me.

I bought mine from.

I have

one.

You can't like legally?

It's a two-car policy.

Okay.

So Ben's one of the weakest,

nothing.

Ben's one of the

weakest, selling.

Ben's one of the weakest piece.

You have that.

I do have one.

I think.

Well, remember last week where I said buy the

parts, research the parts and send them to me

and I'll buy them?

Yeah, I haven't done it yet.

I will do that.

I will do that.

Check in next week when I ask the same

question to Ben and the same answer will be given.

I need to do it.

I forgot.

So what is your one?

What is it?

It's a 197.

Okay.

It's a one.

Not I'm going to buy a week.

No, but that's what I like.

I like it's a little bit different from last week.

It's one of those where you know what,

I saw it and now I want it.

Yeah.

You don't have to buy it.

Oh, that was a psychiatrist.

But you should.

No, no.

Oh, you're being sarcastic because it was the

same as last week.

I would like one.

I think you should buy one.

How much are they?

You can get them very, very cheap.

Like a grand or two.

No, you'll need belts for that money.

But for like three and a half grand,

you could find one that's plausibly had some work done.

That sounds quite pleasant.

It's cool, isn't it?

You could just be with the boys.

Then we've got one, seven, two,

one, seven, two, one, seven,

two, one, seven, two, one, seven,

two hundred.

Also, your one sounds so good.

It sounds different to an all F4R.

Why is that?

I don't know if it's related to the exhaust

manifold or the head or something like that.

I don't know what it is, but they sound a bit more zingy.

It's got some sort of je ne sais quoi.

Whereas one, eight, two, one,

seven, two, they can't make that noise.

No, I had the nice exhaust on my one,

eight, two, and that's, I like that,

but it was different to this.

It's probably a tiny bit too loud from

driving it a little bit more,